Hiya, this is my first Bones fic and first anything in years. I'm so rusty, I leave particulates on the key board! Hope you enjoy though. This was inspired by A Fine Frenzy's Almost Lover.
Dislamers: I wish!!
Almost lover
The moon was bravely shinning over Washington D.C., bathing in its soft light the lone man sitting next to the reflecting pool. He sat on a familiar bench, a coffee in his hand, one on the seat next to him. He rubbed his face wearily and sighed heavily when he caught sight of the useless extra coffee. He'd bought it out of habit, had driven to her apartment out of instinct. The dark windows had broken his heart with reality.
She wasn't home. She wouldn't be any more. She'd left him that morning. He'd always known that day would come, but he had not been prepared for the reality of it, hadn't been ready for the emptiness that filled his soul when he'd stepped into his apartment.
The full breath he hadn't known he'd been holding back since the plane took off and took her away from him whooshed right out of him. With it went his strength and restrain. Two tears rolled down his cheeks and he fell to his knees. He'd always known this day would come, but he'd never known how much it would hurt.
He'd never imagined how difficult simply driving her to the airport would be, how he'd have to battle all the way not to turn the car around, refuse to complete the journey and beg her not to leave him. But he hadn't.
Instead, as they'd wasted time, spending minutes made more precious by the fact that they were running out, he'd valiantly made a joke, a prayer, for her not to forget him, not that she was moving onto bigger and better things. She had rolled her eyes and told him she hardly could, considering he'd forced her into taking a Wonder Woman photo album of them and the squints and his latest offering.
When he'd tried to flash his charm smile, it had looked as hollow as he felt. After that, they'd stood silently and he tried to etch her features in his memory one last time. In case he had missed something, so he wouldn't forget anything. The small eternity passed in a flash as they stared at each other, the air filled with so many words still unspoken, feelings left unexplored.
When the time had come for her to go through security check, he'd felt as if his heart had shattered. His breath had stopped when she'd kissed his lips softly, lightly, her hand touching his cheek like a butterfly, barely landing, before she'd stepped out of his range of gravity. She had looked at him with those oceans eyes swimming with tears she wouldn't shed, not with him there.
Before he could make a move, she'd turned away and walked through the door, leaving her image burnt on his brain.
He'd turned his back to the door and walked out, the pain in his heart constricting his chest, spreading to his limbs, making it a physical ache. That throbbed when he got in the SUV, her empty seat mocking him. The very silence he'd asked for time and time again to counter the "Alpha-male needing to lead in modern days" rant now pierced his ears with a thousand needles.
The drive home had been excruciating, but nothing like getting off his knees. It was a step to life without her and he had been loath to take it, but he had. He'd walked to the bathroom, taken a shower and then gone to bed where sleep had deserted him.
In its stead had come images of her, of them, of never more. He'd seen her, that day, when she'd told him about the offer she'd received. She'd asked him what he thought. He hadn't known what to answer. His heart had begged her to stay, but he'd told her to go. She'd looked at him with uncertainty in her eyes and he'd known that if he were to ask her, she would stay. But he couldn't. Wouldn't ask her to sacrifice her joy of discovery for the limbo they were in. It wouldn't have been fair to ask her.
Had she decided to stay of her own volition... but she hadn't. She'd chosen to go, slicing his heart in two. Her happiness made his sadness impossible and he refused to show her his heartbreak. So he'd smiled. Through the days leading up to her leaving, through her goodbye party even when he'd taken her to the diner for one last pieces of shared pie.
He had tried not to let her see his pain when he'd brushed crumbs of her lips with his thumb, committing their softness to memory. She'd looked at him with wide eyes he had resisted by offering her his hand for their ultimate walk.
She'd let him hold her hand as they strolled aimlessly, staving off the inevitable parting. She'd huffed in all the right places when he'd given her safety instruction. Protested vehemently that that she'd known this long before he'd come along and hadn't lost that just because he'd came barrelling in with his self appointed protector role. He'd stopped the flow of words with a finger on her lips. He'd simply told her to be careful.
She had nodded without further protest and he'd gotten lost in her eyes. Just a little, not much, but long enough to make his heart swim in their blue and for him to admit he would miss her.
She had said his name once and he'd shaken his head. This wasn't the time. Not now, maybe not ever, but very much not now.
He'd run his finger through her hair, told her to have fun. To be happy. To live a little. But carefully. She'd smiled and he'd taken her hand and had walked back to the car. It had been time to let go.
Now there he was, on their bench, unable to let go, slinging to what his life had been, because he no longer knew what it was to be without her. She had gotten so deep under his skin that she felt like a part of him, of his heart, of his soul. And he didn't know how to change that, or even if he could.
The moon was giving in to the suns calling leaving the lone man in the growing shine when a sound intruded the quiet. The man reached in his pocket, looked at the device and smiled.
"Hey Bones, how was your flight?"
Maybe he wouldn't have to do without her after all.