I didn't know why it hit me. I didn't know why out of all the years him and I spent together, today was the day my feelings hit me like a brick. My best friend got himself a girlfriend and she was perfect. She was beautiful; she was kind, and innocent. Her boobs were a size of my head. Hinata is the ideal image of what a perfect woman should be. And than there's me; a fool of a woman who couldn't even admit to the most important man in her life that he owns my heart and soul.
Naruto was always the apple of Hinata's eye; I mean she fainted for years every time anyone would even say his name! She used him as motivation to become a strong kunoichi, but can't say that I didn't either, after all, protecting Naruto is the main reason I begged Lady Tsunade to take me on as her apprentice. However, Hinata was always kind and caring towards him and more times than not, I was a royal bitch towards him. The worst part is I begged the man I really loved to bring home that man I thought I loved. Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy Sasuke is home, I feel like we are a family again. However, the reality is that Sasuke and I are much better of as friends and fellow ninja.
Konoha is currently in a reconstruction period, as all the other villages. Of course being the war hero, Naruto became the village's icon of bravery and now spent a lot of time with Kakashi Sensei and Lady Tsunade, learning everything there is to know about being a Hokage. I'm thankful his dream is en route to becoming a reality, but honestly, I never doubted him. I've always known he would conquer the world, one smile at a time.
"Sakura-chan!"
Speak of the damn devil. I turn around to see that handsome whiskered face smiling at me.
"Naruto! How are you?"
"As good as ever. Did you hear?! I have a girlfriend now! Hinata and I decided to go for it. She's such a sweet girl, I don't know why I never paid any attention to her before," his cheeks gather a tint of pink on them. I want to roll my eyes, but refrain. Such a bitch move, isn't it? Can't even be happy for him when I've been a royal cunt my entire life.
"I'm so happy to hear that Naruto," I lie, "Its about time, she's been gushing over you since we were Genin."
"Really? Huh, I guess I never really paid attention." He does his signature Naruto move as we walk, folding his arms behind his head.
"Well you always were something of a goof ball when you were young. Truly, not much has changed though, you just got a little taller." I wink at him and giggle.
"Sakura-chan…" he dips his head, as if embarrassed. My stomach churns; these fucking feelings are overwhelming me thinking about him with her. But I've made my choices, and this is the consequence that comes with them.
"Anyway, what are you doing running around the city? Shouldn't you be slaving away with Kakashi Sensei and Lady Tsunade?" I ask.
"Eh, they let me have the afternoon to myself. Granny feels like my brain doesn't have the capacity to handle so much information at once."
"And what does Kakashi Sensei think?"
"The sad part is I don't think he disagrees with her," he laughs, "so I figured I would hunt you down and see if you were hungry! We haven't spent much time together since the war ended and I want to catch up," he gives me those innocent eyes, my heart melts.
"Oh alright! I can't deny you since you've given me the honor of entertaining you one your free afternoon," I tease him as I poke his side, "Come on, let's go get some ramen, I'll treat you."
His mouth fell open, eyes wide. "Sakura-chan, are you in love with me?!" I stopped dead in my tracks.
"Hell yes I love you! I could love your fine ass all the way to the bedroom!" My Inner decided to stir up another round of problems. Hormonal problems.
"Oh don't flatter yourself!" I lie, "I just feel sorry for your over-worked, Ramen deprived self." Another lie.
We walk toward Ichiraku's, talking, laughing, making fun of each other. He orders Miso, and I think the old man "Naruto sized it," because I have never seen a bowl that big in my entire life.
"So how are things with teme going?" he attempts to mouth as he's stuffing the biggest piece of meat I've ever seen.
"I bet there's an even bigger piece of meat in his pants…" I swear I don't help myself. I tell my brain to shut up and attempt to refocus on our conversation. "Try telling your vagina to shut up. Shit is so lonely I can hear the wolves howling all the way in your head." Dear Kami. The sad thing is I'm not even lying to myself.
"Hello! Earth to Sakura-chan!" Naruto snaps his fingers in front of my face.
"I'm sorry Naruto, what were you saying?" I try to play it cool, regardless of what my head or my vagina, apparently, has to say.
"Have you spent much time with Sasuke since he's been back? I mean, since you were always so lovey-dovey about him." He makes a kissy face at me. A vein pops out on my head and I want to throttle him.
"No you dork, Sasuke and I are just friends. I've pretty much came to a conclusion that Sasuke and I are simply friends, and Team 7 is family. Although I've had a huge crush on him, my personal growth and development since he left made me realize that we are not compatible like that. I love him, but I'm not in love with him." Naruto's mouth is hanging open, again.
"So you're not in love with him?"
"Nope." I'm in love with you, baka.
"Man! If I knew that I would have asked you on a date when we came back from the war!" he pounds his fist on the table.
"Oh Naruto, you've got a great girl! You should be so happy, you guys are a great match." The words feel like acid coming off my tongue, I hate lying to myself, but it seems like from this point forward I will be doing a lot of that.
"You think so? You know I value your opinion above everyone else's Sakura-chan," he smiles, "after all, you're the main girl in my life!"
Kami, I want to cry at those words. Not anymore, my dear boy, not anymore, I think to myself. I don't know why, but that it makes me want to cry, scream.
I smile warmly at him, pain and all. "Naruto, I want you to be happy, okay? Out of everyone in the world, you deserve it the most. You may disagree with me, but my opinion won't change." I say sternly, all mom-like.
"You're the best Sakura-chan!" he smiles even wider, "Now what do you say we go do some star gazing on top of my dad's head?!" I chuckle, he always has a great way of wording things.
We sit a top of the Hokage monument. Things feel so peaceful, the stars are so bright, the air is so fresh. I take a deep breath and look over at Naruto. He was laying down, hands behind his head. He looks so at peace, probably the most at peace I've seen him in so many years. I take a good look at the man he has become; now tall, muscular, he sure has come a long way from a scrawny knuckle head that he was when we were young. However, his eyes always stayed the same. So blue that blue birds would be jealous.
"Sakura-chan, why are you staring at me? Do I have ramen on my face?"
I blush and turn my head very quickly, "Oh no, I was just noticing how you really haven't changed much since we were kids." I nervously lie, probably the most pitiful lie ever, but whatever.
"Oh common Sakura-chan! You have to admit I've gotten a lot more handsome since we were kids. I'm a perfect image of sex-appeal!" He gloats with his signature smile. Blah, you have no idea Naruto! I change my course of thought, can't be getting hot and bothered with now not-so-single-Naruto around.
"Hey Sakura-chan, can I tell you something?" he says. I nod my head. "If things go good for Hinata and myself, I think I'll eventually ask her to marry me."
I stopped breathing. I did not expect that. I sure as hell did not want to hear that. Fuck, I never thought I would hear that!
"She's really been the only girl that's ever loved me like that, ya know? She's kind and caring, I've known her my entire life and I think I could grow to love her over time," he continues, "maybe we can even have kids together! That would be so cool! I've always wanted to be a dad!" His smile is so wide, he seems thrilled about the idea. I want to vomit. I feel dizzy. As selfish as it sounds, this is the last thing I wanted to hear from him. But than again, what was I expecting? For him to wrap his arms around me and scream to the world that he loves me? He's pretty much done that already, and I rejected him. Repeatedly. I swallow to fight back tears.
"You'll be a wonderful father and husband Naruto, I'm sure of that." I smile through my bullshit. He smiles back at me then puts one of his arms around my shoulders.
"You're still my number one girl, always and forever."