The room is so dark, and its a bit chilly. It is now 9:08 and i've been sitting on this couch for 4 hours now. I get up to check the heat. I turn in up just a tad bit and head back over to the couch. Before i hit it though, i turn the stero on.
"They tell you where you need to go, they tell you when you'll need to leave. They tell you what you need to know ,tell you who you need to be..."
I
knew that was true. Casey had just told me the
other day that maybe it was time to stop waiting
for him to notice me again, to notice that i love
him to notice everything i've been waiting for him
to notice. He hadnt even seemed to even know i
existed after the undercover accident. It was no
accident. I wanted to take my shirt off, hop in
his sweat pants that he left on the bathroom floor
and throw myself at him. I WANTED TO. He was
trying so hard not to look at me, or atleast i
thought he was?
Just for a second when they
were pulling me away he gripped my hand and
wouldnt let go. I surely thought for a second that
this would change everything and that he wanted me
as well. Well yeah it changed everything, for
the worst.
The stero wasnt loud at all. Just seem loud enough for I could hear it. My favorite song turned into one i absolutely hate.
All the precint talk saying i got him shot, and i believed it. No matter how many times i apologized he just told me it wasnt my fault. It was tho. If i hadnt been such a inlove freak and went to see if he was alright, he wouldnt have been shot. Luckly i didnt get him killed.
"And you're on
fire When He's near you You're on fire When He
speaks
You're on fire Burning at these
mysteries"
Ahh i bet he's at home
right now, tucked away with his wife that clearly
doesnt want him. She was willing and ready to
leave him. I made the stupidest mistake that
night. I talked her into to staying. Why do i
that.
Ipull the blanket from behind the couch
and tugg it around me so tight. I need warmth.
Need somethng to embrace me and take me away from
this place i'd never thougth id be.
My phone brings me out of my trance when it lights up and plays the ting ting noise. The noise Elliot had set on my phone. I pick it up not wanting to be called in or any of that junk. I flip it open to a name that seems so strangerest. When I'm on fire ,when You're near me ,i'm on fire ,when You speak and I'm on fire burning at these mysteries these mysteries...
"Elliot." i whisper.
I click the view button. Will you open your door.
I look at the door hesitant. I get up in a stumble and walk towards the door. I grip the knob then slowly open it. What was in front of me was the most terrifying thing ive witnessed tonight. He was all scrouched up with dark pale blue eyes that looked like they'd been crying and havent slept for days. I didnt need to look at his apparel, which wasnt very good as well, to see that he was miserable as well as me.
Elliot, what are you doing here? He looked down the hall like he was expecting someone then down to the florr when he realized no one was coming. He didnt look up or even try to when he whispered...
......." Im on fire when YOURE near"