Morning was coming, but Charlie found it difficult to move. It had been a long time since he'd had a woman fall asleep in his arms. Even longer since a woman had wanted to fall asleep in his arms. Closing his eyes, he tried to hold on to the warmth from the memories of their night...and to forget the pain of what happened when Claire had wondrously invited him into her bed.
The ecstasy he'd felt when they finally came together had quickly been replaced by overwhelming humiliation when he felt the tears start. He'd loved her for so long, and knowing this was the only time he'd have her...He'd done his best to hide his tears from her, moving to leave a trail of kisses down her soft skin. To his relief, Claire either hadn't noticed, or spared him further embarrassment by not mentioning it. He'd tried to make it up to her. He had lost count of how many times he must have told her he loved her.
It was selfish, what he was doing, and he knew it. Making love together, when he knew he wouldn't be around to stay. He knew Claire would already be hurt when he left, and this would make her grief unbearable. Still, Charlie had seized this opportunity. He knew in death, he would not be accepted into heaven. He'd sinned too much. That was why he believed fate was after him now. Claire's love was the closest he would ever come to such beauty and peace.
Gently unwrapping himself from Claire's still sleeping form, Charlie moved to get up. He gathered his clothes, and quietly put on his jeans. If he was lucky, maybe no one would see him leave her tent. At the very least, Charlie wanted her reputation to remain intact. If the others found out she'd deigned to sleep with him, that might be ruined. Sawyer at least, would torture her with the knowledge. Charlie was glad he'd secured Jack's promise that he'd look over Claire, even if Jack hadn't realized exactly what he was agreeing to. Jack would take care of Sawyer, or anyone else, who tried to make Claire's life miserable because she'd made the mistake of falling in love with the one soul on the island destined never to find redemption.
Treading softly over to Aaron, Charlie placed a gentle kiss on the baby's forehead. His dreams of being a family slowly seeped out of him. He should have known it was not to be. With a final glance at Claire, Charlie tried once again not to break down.
Then he left. It was time to face his fate.