In preparation for tomorrow :( This is for everyone who loves the programme, and especially for Heather Peace, and Millie and Hope Katana, who are all wonderful ;')
Just a short story, probably a one-shot: Nicki, Shona and Rhona have a heart-to-heart. Okay, so this is me trying to keep my A/N short... not very successfully? *looks slightly sheepish* This isn't necessarily linked to my other fanfiction, so don't expect any Nicki&Tom this time!
Nicki took a deep breath. Stood with her back to the classroom, gazing out into the playground, her heart thudding against her ribs. The window was wet, water trickling down in little streams: the grass outside was coated with dew. There were droplets on her cheeks, too, but maybe that wasn't rain.
"You okay, Miss?"
"Yeah," she hastily wiped her eyes, smeared the tears away, forced her lips into a smile. It was probably a good job she hadn't become a drama teacher. She hated lies; they just hurt people, broke lives down. "Yeah, thanks. Isn't it lunch time? I thought you'd be diving in for some of that chocolate brownie."
"Yeah. We weren't hungry," Shona said. Rhona rolled her eyes at that statement, obviously disagreeing, but her twin nudged her in the ribs.
Four eyes piercing Nicki's, concern flowing freely towards her. She sank down onto her desk, another tear dropping onto her knees.
Rhona's forehead creased, "Do you want us to go?"
"No, no."
"Well, then," Shona sat down opposite her, crossing her arms, "Are you going to tell us what's wrong, Miss? Did the cake in the canteen not live up to expectations or something?"
Nicki's smile became more genuine. She reached into one of her drawers, pulled out a half-full bag of Dolly Mixtures, handed them to Rhona, "Don't eat the little yellow square ones. They're my favourites."
The girl fumbled around in the bag a little, "There's none left."
"Exactly. They're my favourites."
Brief laughter filled the room, as though the awkwardness of the situation had been shattered, before all three of them fell silent for a long moment. Passed the bag of sweets around, chewed in companiable quiet.
"You two always know what people need, don't you?"
"Um," Shona licked her lips, "Was that one of those questions you're not supposed to answer?"
"Rhetorical," supplied Rhona.
"Yeah. Them."
Nicki wiped her face again, then ran a hand through her hair subconsciously, feeling suddenly scruffy. She was a very private person. She couldn't help herself: she'd hold all of her emotion in when she was around people, and pretend nothing was wrong – sometimes she'd even convince herself that she was fine.
But there always came a point, when she got home and sat in the darkened living room in her dressing gown, when everything she'd tried to avoid for the past however long came flooding back to her, and the immense loneliness she felt exploded, and she cried until she could cry no more, until she fell asleep with the tears still damp on her face.
"What's up, then, Miss?"
"Oh, you know..."
"What? Has someone said something to you? We'll hit them, if you want. We'd get Kyle back for the whole hiya gorgeous thing, but Mr Byrne said he wasn't going to be coming back to school, and we don't know where he lives, and Janeece wouldn't tell us, so..."
"Probably a good thing," Nicki smirked again.
This was who she was. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad. A paradox, she supposed. She didn't like people to know that she was so vulnerable, underneath, but somehow she felt safe with the twins. They seemed, behind their sometimes childish manner, far more grown-up than the rest of the students she taught: they listened, they understood, they didn't judge.
"It's just... just life. Work, and family, and men."
"Oh, men," Rhona nodded, apparently thinking herself knowledgeable on this particular topic, "We know all about them."
"We heard Miss Diamond saying the other day men are supposed to be better than women at all these things, and it's always women who have to go round after them and pick up the pieces."
"Yeah, she's got that right." Perhaps she should talk to Sian more. She always seemed to be there for anyone who might need her, colleague or student – Nicki knew she'd do everything she could to help. Maybe she might need someone to confide her own worries to in return.
That was how Waterloo Road worked, she'd learnt, in her short time at the school. Of course there were the trouble-makers, and the misfits, and the ones whose sole aim was to make others' lives a misery, but people were like that wherever you went. Here, she felt as though she could fit in; as though she was accepted for who she was.
"And then she said men are effing useless."
"Except," Shona added, raising her eyebrows with a touch of pride, as though she was telling her teacher a dark secret, "She didn't say effing."
"Well, teachers aren't perfect all of the time, you know." Perhaps she should warn Sian to check for spies before she started ranting, too. She hadn't really ever considered the deputy head as one for ranting, or indeed swearing, but people were funny sometimes.
When you first met a new group of people, you could be who you wanted to be, and they wouldn't judge you for it, because it was a fresh start, for you and for them. Nicki wasn't the person anyone around her – including Rhona and Shona – thought she was. But was that really a bad thing? Maybe she wasn't that person any more anyway; everyone changed.
She'd made mistakes in the past. She wasn't proud of how she'd behaved sometimes; there were many things she'd change if she could go back in time, but you couldn't, and so she tried not to dwell on it.
Shona stood up, spun a little circle on the floor in front of her, straightening her tie in mid-movement, "Maybe we will go and get some of that chocolate cake now."
"Of course."
"You okay now, Miss?" Rhona asked.
"Yeah. Thanks, girls."
"It's okay, Miss. We were thinking about being, like, you know agony aunts in magazines? We could do one of them columns in the Waterloo Road newspaper – the one you and Mr Budgen did?"
Rhona grinned, her smile filling the room, lighting a spark inside of Nicki that convinced her that everything would be okay now, "That would be quite cool. You could write in if you had any problems with men or anything like that, and Miss Diamond could do it too."
"Great idea. I'll put it to Mr Byrne at the meeting tonight."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really."
Shona dived in before Nicki knew what was happening, wrapped her arms around her teacher and gave her a quick hug, "You're fab."
Nicki had to run her hand under her eyes again. Her early life, her days in the army... she'd been running for so long. She just wanted to slow down and treasure life for a while, savour the memories and the moments still to come. It felt like the twins understood that; understood her like nobody had before.
She smiled again, "You're not so bad yourselves."
"Thanks, Miss."
They turned to leave, but Rhona turned back again, holding out the packet of Dolly Mixtures. Nicki took them, rolling her eyes. Shona held out a fist to Nicki, dropped something into her hand: a small square of yellow.
She glanced between them, bemused, "Where did you find that? I thought they'd all gone."
"Well..." Shona shrugged, "Like you said, we're not so bad."
That was the thing about being a teacher, Nicki thought. Children were different to adults – they had that outlook on life, an optimism that adults dragged down by the miseries of their pasts forgot about. Slowly, you earned their trust, and they looked up to you, and they admired you.
That was more rewarding than anything else: feeling as though you were making a difference to the lives of these young people, and helping them to reach for the stars. You were helping them to achieve their dreams. At the same time, they were helping you – slowly healing old wounds, showing you how to move on with your life and appreciate what you had.
"See you later, girls."
"See you, Miss."
The bond between pupils and teachers was something to be proud of, when it was achieved. And maybe it had been right in front of her eyes, between herself and the twins.
The classroom door slammed; Nicki pressed the final yellow Dolly Mixture onto her tongue and savoured the warmth that filled her. She knew that sensation didn't come just from the sugar.
XxXxX
I – very sadly – don't own Waterloo Road. Reviews would be really appreciated. All credit to the teacher who inspired this.
