Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Evangelion or any of it's characters. I have nothing you want, Studio Gainax, this story is for entertainment purposes only. I highly doubt I could come up with anything good enough to turn a Profit like Shinseiki Evangelion turned out doing anyways! :-P
A Painful and Wonderful Paradise
By: The Malkavian Philosopher
Introduction
Humankind has never enjoyed pain. It has spent much of it's existence trying to find ways to live a painless life, sometimes at the price of it's own Humanity, forgetting what Life is all about in the process. As humans, we tend to deal with pain in many ways, and not all of them are healthy. Addiction, Obsession, Encasement, and Retreat...all valid options to deal with pain, but usually chosen before the best option of all: Acknowledging it's existence and allowing it to teach us lessons, then finding a way to correct the mistake that brought it about. It is quite true, that "Man fears the darkness, and so he laps away at it's edges with Fire." But rather than fear the darkness, would it not be more logical to embrace it and learn from what the dark has to teach? And so we come to observe, the case of one Ikari Shinji. A man who has retreated from pain his entire life, until everyone he could possibly care about has died. If he willed them to exist again in his heart, they would...but only if he wished it.
10 years after 3rd Impact, we see a new world. Out of the Ashes of Old Tokyo-3, a place of pain and mental torture for so many years, has risen a new town, Neo Kyoto. The founder of this town, one Ikari Shinji, lives in a modest cottage 5 miles outside the City Limits. It is to this cottage we have been ionvited on this cool summer morning to hear the vision that Ikari-san had all those years ago next to the Primordial Ocean, after losing everything so dear to him...a world of Co-existence and Diplomacy during conflict, rather than a world of War and Cowardice.
As we walk through the front door of this Humble Abode, we see a Beautiful redhead lying asleep in a futon on the floor. A tall, athletic, short-haired young man is stooping over her, and he gently brushes a strand of stray Fiery locks away from her half-open mouth. He watches his sleeping Angel with a peaceful tranquility in his eyes. He smiles and says to us without looking up: "Greetings, I didn't expect you to be here so soon. I guess you're wondering what this Beauty is doing in my Bed? I also guess I should start at the beginning..." The young man reaches for an Antique Jewelry Box, and we see two charred Neurotransceptors inside. Both of them are bright red, or they were before the flames of a long ago fire lapped away at them. Now they are stained in splotches with soot. The young man closes the lid to the box, and finishes, "As any story does."
Chapter 1: Introduction to Paradise
"You damned idiot! How could you leave me there like that?!? I was torn to shreds!" The Redhead Reaver was on the warpath again, and there was no-one to take the brunt of it this time but a single 16 year old young man. He sat there, silent and sullen, taking the insults he had so rightfully earned. "Are you just going to sit there like a Retard? Mien Gott no Eta! Don't talk to me, don't come near me, and just like I said, not if I was the last woman on Earth and the survival of the human species depended on us...Fuck off!" The redhead twirled on her heel, and stormed off, still wearing the makeshift bandage that the young man, left behind, now sobbing, had wrapped around her head.
"Ayanami...Mi..satou-san...where are you...when I need...you...the most?" sobbed the heartbroken male as he sat next to the Grave Markers he had erected in memory of those he cared for most.. Ikari cried for hours, until he ended up giving himself a splitting headache, yet he continued to let out all the frustration, anger, and heartache that had built up over the years. He had reached his breaking point, he was a broken man, one with nothing left to live for, nothing to protect, and it seemed, nothing to Love. Night fell, and he sat by the Primodial Sea, staring into the vacant eyes of the Instrument that brought about 3rd Impact. "Was this what you were meant for all along? Was this your purpose for existing, Ayanami?"
"What do you think my purpose for existing was, Ikari-kun?" came the voice, gentle and serene. Ikari looked around, thinking he was losing his mind. "Given the situation, that wouldn't be such a bad thing right now." he lamented. He saw no-one, and played it off to his own sorrows. Ironically enough, he felt compelled to answer the voice. "No, I saw the camera's from Central Dogma, this was the most logical course of action for someone as yourself. Defy the man that used you for so long, and embrace what you wish to protect. It just went Fubar, through my own faults, of course."
"What are your faults, Ikari-kun? Who are you? What do you wish to protect? Who is important enough to you that you would give your life for them?" The next onslaught of questions was too much for Ikari, and he whirled, "Who are you!?! Show yourself, so help me God, Asuka, If that's you I don't care if the Human species dies out as a result...I'll strangle you myself!."
"Why do you refer to me as the 2nd Children? As for showing myself, I will do so when you are prepared for me to do so. Until next time we meet, Farewell, Ikari Shinji." the Voice replied. That was it, Ikari decided, he had lost it. But the voice had asked some valid questions. What were his faults, surely one of them was cowardice...no he had gone into battle selflessly and won to protect those important to him, he was no coward. Intolerance...no he had been quite tolerant of Asuka's browbeating and Misatou-san's teasing, not to mention taking all sorts of crap from Father. So what were his Faults? Who was he? What was his Identity? It was quite obvious everything he wished to protect was gone now. Not to mention the only person he ever loved unconditionally now hated him just as much. God, he was so fucked up in the head.
*Sunrise, Next day*
Ikari woke with a dryness in his mouth, and he went to the Primodial Sea instinctively for a drink. Hopefully, it wasn't salty like the ocean had been before it. He took a sip from cupped hands, and immediately spat out what he had sipped. It tasted like LCL. Nothing filled him with more revulsion than the thought of the Entry Plug that had brought him so much comfort, yet so much pain. He wondered what would happen if he were to boil it, maybe it would remove the taste. Ikari set up a small lean-to tinderbox, and took a small rock and a piece of JSSDF Aircraft material, and started slamming the two together, sparks flew, and the Tinder caught. Once he had a blaze going, he thought to himself as he put a cylinder of Primordial Seawater over the flames, "Flint and steel, two different form of solids, yet solids nonetheless. Try to force them together, and the flint dents the steel or the steel chips the flint. Under the right circumstances, though, putting them together produces a child...Fire."
He looked at the makeshift pot, and though he had just put it on the flame, it was already crystal clear. It no longer had the Red Tint to it. Ikari took a small sip from the container, and it tasted like spring water. How had that happened? "Yes, Ikari-kun, that is the question to ask...how did it happen, but one must also ask...Why did it happen? That is ultimately the most important question of all...Why?"
Ikari listened to the voice, more rather to try to understand it than to reply back to it. Personally, this voice scared him. He didn't know if he was losing it little by little, and hearing this voice may be a product of the resulting madness. But it was the only thing he had to listen to or converse with, and whether it was there or not, he could hear it, so he might as well accept the fact it was there. He spent the day forming a stockpile of Sweet Potatoes, guided by the Voices in his head. At the end of the day, he formed a fire, and ended up cooking some of them wrapped in mud he found close to the old lake, now dried up, and tossing them into the flames. He sat there contemplating Life, and what it meant to be alive, for there was surely some reason he was alive. After eating his meal, he decided to get some rest, he'd need it tomorrow if he were going to build himself a shelter. He drifted off under the stars...the last thing on his mind being Asuka and her tormentious battle with that Damned Angel, Arael...and how much it would have satisfied him to personally be the one to drive the Lance of Longinus through it's Heart, or it's Core, as Father would have said. As he finally drifted off, he could swear that someone had his head in their lap and was stroking the side of his face gently.
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Author's Notes. I know it's a weird start, but basically what has happened here at the beginning of the chapter is Ikari-kun is telling us how he reached the result we see in the Introduction...a Flashback going back to right after Soryuu-chan came out of shock from the Trauma of her battle and 3rd Impact. And on a side note, if you ever go to Japan, I strongly advise against using the term that Soryuu driected so vehemently at Ikari-kun (Eta). It's the equivalent of the N-Word towards an African American. Unless you want to get seriously hurt at a Bar, DON'T USE IT! Let me know how I'm doing all, Read and Review, if you would be so kind. Peace out!