Post-ep for the Limey, Beckett and Castle's relationship remains in turmoil, but a case of the worst kind intervenes, forcing them to face what they have with one another.
Prologue
I feel my love is floating in darkness, unseen by the eyes that own it. Then a voice pierces the black, confessing the eyes have seen, the heart just doesn't feel. Reality crashes down. I must escape with the last shred of dignity I possess. I thought there was a silent understanding, but I had read it wrong, written it to meet my own desires. In hearing the truth, a harsh, cold comprehension laughs in my face. She never felt the same way, never returned my feelings. Instead she chose to string me along, lie about it then confess her sins to a suspect.
In she prances the next day as if nothing happened, because she doesn't know, everything happened, everything wrong and my hearts not in it. Our banter and subtext broken, but not forgotten, never forgotten. The single coffee cup, held within my hands, trying to chase the cold and pain away, earns an eyebrow lift, a look of hurt, confusion. Now she sees it, the withdrawal she doesn't understand, but knows is there all the same.
Mother said it wasn't a switch I could flip, but I can damn well bury it, cover it with blondes, bimbos and flight attendants, anything but sex because they aren't her and she still holds my heart, no matter how hard I try to release it from her unrelenting grasp. I will always love her, despite my efforts to the contrary.
By the time the third consecutive lunch date arrives, Beckett sits slumped and broken in her chair, head in her hands, eyes stinging with unshed tears. I can't look back, must not feel, she's getting what she wants after-all, my love to crumble and dissipate so she doesn't have to deal with feelings she doesn't share, allowing us to remain friends and nothing more. So I walk out, without turning my head to see her sadness and confusion or the shared glare from Ryan and Esposito.