---Flashbacks/Dreams---
He can feel this sharp tingling in his neck, till it turns so violant he has no choice but to scream out in pain and grasp his head painfully in his hands, falling onto his knees as the pain got stronger and stronger. There was somewhere there. Someone calling his name. Someone asking him if he was okay but it was so faint. He could barely hear it. It was a mere whisper but he needed that whisper! He needed hope! He needed help! Why couldn't someone help him?
It remains dark and there is Agumon lying unconscious, possibly even close to death, a black bracelet around one arm, and he is furious. He doesn't want SkullGreymon, he wants MetalGreymon, and the Dark Digivolution refuses to work. He is formulating a plan, a new device, and new torture toy to play with and test on the small orange Digimon. As he works he is oblivious to the green caterpillar who sneaks slowly away, the tiny green caterpillar who would give anything if only his master would experiment on him, if only his master would torture him instead of anyone else. Desperately the creature wanted some attention from his own master. Attention said master would just refuse to give him as long as he had other beings to torture.
It's always dark. It's always dark in his mind, and the darkness never leaves, and the darkness is seeping into his heart. Everything, darkness. Nothing more, nothing less than a black abyss of pure concentrated evil. There is Wormmon again, at least he thinks that is what the worthless creature's name is. The Digimon is attached to his leg, it's begging for something, it's begging to be used and abused and tortured and beaten, it's begging for him to show it that he cares, but he doesn't care. Did he ever care? He raises his whip and brings it down, and Wormmon flinches away, but he can't stop. He brings the whip down once more, and down again, and again until he's satisfied that the pest won't follow him anymore. He leaves the Digimon shaking on the black floor, welts rising on his smooth sensitive skin, he leaves it and grins maliciously as it whimpers and cries...Why? How? How'd he become this cruel being? He didn't know, nor did he care but a part of his being, a side of him buried deep inside of him was crying out; why him? How did it happen? What did he do to deserve being turned evil? What did Wrommon do to deserve the beatings? He was loyal…trustworthy…caring…helpful…he was the perfect being…the perfect friend. What did he ever do to deserve such treatment?
The sun is bright but he can't see it. Like he's said before, its dark in his mind, no sunlight can ever be seen. No light of any kind. No hope. No love. No friends. No life. He can't see anything but the darkness in front of his eyes, the darkness that has blinded him for so long, but the darkness is pierced and he sees Wormmon lying at the feet of the children he has tormented for so long. Wormmon isn't moving, he's still, and Gatomon is leaning over him. "He's still breathing," Gatomon says, but the words barely register with him, he only knows that its Wormmon, and Wormmon wanted whatever he would give him, and he has given him death.
It was probably for the better. He wouldn't be tortured anymore. He wouldn't and couldn't get hurt if he was dead and away from the Digimon Emperor, could he? He rushes to Wormmon's side and picks him up, he's panicking now, he could feel his breath getting caught in his throat at the feel of the being's no longer soft skin, now replaced with cuts and rough areas and bruises. He's been so wrong all this time, he has killed the only creature who has ever cared for him. All he ever wanted was to be cared for but he killed the creature that could have given him everything he wanted and more. He wanted friendship. Wormmon could have given him that. He wanted comfort. Wormmon could have given him that too. Wormmon opens his eyes, they are blue, but they are weak, no longer holding a spark of any kind in them, just pure weakness that begins to take his little body over. "Goodbye, Ken," Wormmon says, and his eyes close and the blue is no longer visible. Soon, nothing would be visible. Wormmon's eyes are closed and he is only holding a body and the body disintegrates and he is left holding the empty air. Empty like his heart, empty like his soul, empty like his meaningless life. Wormmon is dead, he is dead and he is gone...and it is all his fault. He wouldn't have a second chance.
Wormmon wouldn't get a second chance. Wormmon had one life and he spent it trying to look after a master that gave him no love or respect and that one life was gone, Ken, more like the Digimon Emperor took it for him. He'd never have a second chance for the life he missed. If Ken could do it all over he would give Wormmon the love, care and respect he deserved as a creature, as a digimon, as his best friend. Only one person could treat Ken the way he really wanted to be treated. Wormmon was that person but he didn't notice it. It was over. He was gone and all his hope for a friendship went with him as the digital particles of the friend's being disappeared into the thin air. What little hope a part of Ken had, it was now gone. Wormmon was always his hope. That if things never worked out right that he'd known Wormmon would be there with him to help him but…he wasn't anymore. How could he deal with that?
What was the boy left to do by himself? He couldn't do anything by himself. It was always the Digimon Emperor who did things by himself, not Ken! Not him! He couldn't do things alone, he didn't know how to, he didn't know how to do anything without someone beside him. Accompanying him in the least, he needed someone. Without someone he was nothing. His someone was gone for good, so the nothingness ignored any words from the children around him and staggered up, making his way away from them limping. His mind replayed the dieing moments in his head, blank eyes staring off to a place he couldn't see. He wanted it all to end. Who was going to help him end it though? He couldn't end it by himself…
---End Flashbacks/Dreams---
Ken Ichijouji, the former Digimon Emperor, sat up so quickly that his head made a hard thudding sound against the ceiling as in time he'd grown too tall for a top bunk. Cold shivers shook his frail body from his feet to his heaving chest, all the way up to his shoulders. He was pale over but that was nothing new. Though now tears where gracefully sliding down his lightly pink-tinted cheeks, his mouth-gaping open slightly as heavy breaths passed through his dry and cracking lips. A ticklish and uncomfortable cold sweat gliding amidst those hot tears down his forehead, the back of his neck and even down his chest.
Though he knew it had only been a nightmare that had woken him, he still panicked like it was all real to him again, tangible. Emotionally and physically. He found the baby form of the Digimon asleep at his side in a corner close to the pillow and gently but hurriedly gathered the baby form close to him into his thin arms. He tightened his arms around the being, though still cautious when handling him. Now he handled him gently, with care.
At the sound of his partner's sobs, Leafmon's eyes flew open, and he nuzzled closely into Ken's chest as the boy cried heavily. It had been so long since nights started being like this, Leafmon couldn't even tell how long but by now he had learnt that no matter what the little digimon knew that no amount of real words would actually soothe him. Ken wept into his partner, his body shaking, until he had cried himself into an exhaustion that had already been there when he'd woken up. He gently let go of his friend and allowed himself to fall back and drop his head onto the pillow, staring up at the ceiling through his blurred vision. He brought his hands to clutch his head painfully for a moment before letting go, turning over and burying his face in his pillow.
Leafmon bounced gently onto the pillow, startling Ken slightly at first which gave him some more attention. Leafmon tried a small smile, cuddling closer to his master, "Ken…don't worry." He whispered softly. The nightmares that kept awaking his partner in the middle of the night were still an unspoken mystery to the Digimon, who knew only that Ken needed comforting. Nothing more and nothing less. Ken's past changed his whole perspective of things so now he knew that comfort was all he needed. He didn't want more. He didn't deserve more but either way, more of a good thing is what he ended up getting anyway. Now…if only all the bad things would stop persisting.
A/N: My first Digimon fanfiction in years! Only recently did I get back into it, I began watching episodes and remembered just about everything about the series so I was inspired to write something other than beyblade for once. Hope you liked this! Please leave a review and tell me what you think!
