Symptoms

Author: Blossomed X

Summary: What are the symptoms for a broken heart? Ask Sakura Kinomoto, the victim who fell too deep in a relationship with Syaoran Li.

I've been in a lot of relationships before. I never leave my heart open for anyone or anything, so whenever I think its time for a goodbye, I don't feel anything for that person.

But when I first met him, it was a totally different story.

I fell in love with him, and I never realized what I've gotten myself into until now. I was enthralled by him. Our eyes met; emerald and amber. He was a god. A hot, sexy god. I thought he was just going to be another fling, but I was wrong.

He asked me out just a few moments after we first touched each other. Our skin was electrified, and my body was tingling with such emotions that I had no idea what they were. I was longing for him, and I fell in love with him from that very moment.

We had the time of our life together. I was in love with him, and I thought he was too. Our first kiss was lingering and passionate. So much emotion was surging through our body and we can see it through each other's eyes. I couldn't let that single moment go to waste. I kept it in me forever.

And then, he left. He walked away from me when I was in the hospital, my eyes barely opened just to see him just one more time before I slipped away into eternal darkness. Instead, all I saw was him walking away from me.

I couldn't move. I was immobilized. When I reached out my aching arm for him, he didn't see me. I saved his life, and all I got was nothing in return. He left me to rot.

Syaoran, why did you play with me? Why did you toy with my heart?

I was in a coma for 2 months. Two freaking months and when I woke up, the first thing I was expecting to see were his eyes on mine, and his hand reaching for my warmth. But instead, I got nothing. All I got were tears on my eyes, waiting day after day for him and he never showed up.

I got sick after that. I was deep into stress and depression that my doctor warned me that I could die any moment now. I didn't care. I had nothing to lose, and I wanted to leave my shell and to get out of this God forsaken world.

I missed his arms that enveloped me whenever I was cold and lonely. But ever since that day, I never cried, and I want to keep it that way.

I was a victim this time. I was played right to his trap, and I fell for it. I never meant to let this relationship get so personal.

Now, I'm broken-hearted…Syaoran Li, you have no idea how I feel. I will never let you hear my sobs, my pleads. You will never see my tears. You will never see me cry.

I hate you so much. I hate you! I HATE YOU LI!

I can't believe I fell in love with you. You walked away from me, you toyed with me. You played me. But why can't I let you go?

I'm dying here…After saving your life from that freaking car accident; after pushing you from that drunk driving bastard, after getting pummeled on by a car, I'm here again, in this hospital bed with my heart drowning with tears that are waiting to be let out.

I stared at the dull brown door, my eyes glossy as memory after memory flashes through my eyes. I hear that this happens…when you're about to die. You reminisce. God, I'm pathetic.

I can't believe I'm saying this…I can't believe I'm thinking about it…

"Syaoran…I love you."

The door bangs open. My eyes widen. My breathing is becoming shallow. My eyes are coming dull. "Syaoran…" I choke out, gasping for a few more breaths.

"Sakura!" You rush over to my side, holding me for dear life. I see the guards coming in to get you out of the room, holding you while you fight back. My eyes are about to fall shut Syaoran. It's too late.

"Sakura!" You keep shouting my name over and over.

I'm seething in inexplicable anger now, just at the sight of you. "You bastard." I croak out. "You left me. I saved your freaking life and you just left me to die." I coughed and choked for air. "The least you could do was stay by my side, but you didn't!" I threw a vase full of flowers at him which missed him by an inch. A. Fucking. Inch.

I'm pathetic. I'm wasting my energy for you. But why can't I stop myself?

I feel something wet coming down my cheeks. Oh my God, I'm crying. I'm crying right in front of you. "I loved you. I still do! But you never even loved me! You toyed with me!" I suddenly had the strength to scream and shout. I have the power to yell the fuck out of you. "Why Syaoran?! WHY?!" I sat up, glaring at him with flames blazing in my eyes. "And now you have the nerve to come over here, right before I die? You're a freaking ass!"

My voice is clear now. I am no longer struggling for oxygen, and I have enough strength to slap you. But I won't Li; I'm not going to waste my energy on you.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to." He jumps out of the bodyguards deathgrip and embraces me. "I love you, Sakura. I love you!" You look at me straight in the eye, tears falling. "I couldn't see you in the state you were in. I was too weak to look at you when you were injured because of me. It was all my fault, Sakura! I couldn't forgive myself!"

He was once again in the guard's hold. "I love you Sakura! You have no idea what pain I went through! Everyone didn't want me to see you! They blamed me, saying it was all my fault for putting you in the hospital." He shouted. Nurses were coming in, trying to get you to calm down. It was no use. "They gave me a restraining order! A freaking restraining order, Sakura! I wanted to see you, but I couldn't! I sent you letters, emails, I called you and I did everything just so I can contact you but it was no use!"

A woman took out a syringe, deciding it was the only way to calm you down. My eyes widened at every word you were struggling to get out of your guilty conscience.

"I love you Sakura." The nurse stuck the needle in you, your body suddenly ceasing and becoming rigid. "Please…forgive me…" and you fall down on the tiled floor, the guards carrying you to get you out of the room.

The room is now empty and sickly silent, and the only sound that can be heard are my sobs.

Tears were still continuing to fall from my eyes. How come I haven't died yet?! I'm supposed to be dead!

I cried in front of you. I can't let you nor your words out of my mind. I can still feel your arms around me. I can still remember your tears splashing on my clothes. After all the effort I had on forgetting you, I lose it. I'm breaking.

Now that I have seen you, I can't let go of my life. I'm fighting for it. I'm fighting for you.

You and I love each other. You went to the extent of breaking the law just to see me, to talk to me, to touch me. You went through hell and back, through utter pain and exhaustion just to see me right before I die and you came to give me the light I needed to see that I have a life and what the meaning for it is.

My lips curve up to a smile for the first time in months.

"I forgive you, Syaoran."

o0o0o0o0o0o

Me: Eep! I'm so embarrassed about this one-shot! To tell you the truth, I'm actually enjoying writing one-shots for you guys. This was totally wrong, but I can't help but laugh at the irony. Its weird how I came up with this story in just 15 minutes. Anywho:

Reviews, people! REVIEWS!

Blossomed X is outta here!