The rocks tumbled down towards him. "I'm fuckin' gonna kill you!" The religious man screamed, at the top of his lungs, if they weren't completely separated from his body by the massive explosion. He'd been blown up from the laryngeal prominence downwards, his entrails suspended below. To his left was his right leg, and to his right was his left arm, both dismembered from the rest of his body.
"Jashin will have his retribution! You heathen! You can't stop Jashin! You better pray to whatever the hell fake God you believe in! Your pitiful belief in the Will of Fire, a false philosophy! "Your bullshit dreams won't even be a worthy sacrifice to the mighty Jashin!" Shikimaru was no longer visible through the rubble of ruins crushing his remains, but he knew, he had to still be there. His glowing red eyes were still vivid, as cracks of light managed to break through in distorted angles. Blood covered his jaw and rose up towards his cheeks. His once perfectly combed back silver hair was now an absolute mess. "
"This bloody Jashin-forsaken forest can't hinder my wrath! You wait and see, bastard! I'll rip you apart, slowly, tearing apart your flesh, piece by piece, until you're begging for death! GUAHAHAHA!" Hidan laughed maniacally, his head tightly rolling around in the make-shift grave. "It'll give me great pleasure, watching you die at my hands! Your blood will be exemplary as you crawl in agonizing, excruciating pain! Oh no, I'll give you so many bloody wounds your body will be a composition of slashes and impalements! How fucking sweet it'll be! And when you call out to Jashin for fucking forgiveness, you won't get a shred! " More explosive tags went off, searing him in further. "I'll get out of this miserable excuse of a crater and massacre everything! You, your damned family, and these stupid deer! I'll slaughter your friends, if you have any I haven't already killed!" He knew that struck him hard, he mocked him, even in the condition he was in. "Asuma Sarutobi was it? Your precious mentor, that pathetic man I killed? Guahahaha!!"
"Kukukuku..." He began to chuckle again,"I'm immortal, impossible to kill! Even if it takes decades, your fate is sealed, fucker! Jashin's divine strength will take lead and you'll be nothing! And I'll be the one who deals His will!" The rocks compacted and air between dispersed. "Jashin will will claim your reckoning, you unworhipping, sacrilegious, impious infidel of a fucking bastard!! GUAHAHAHAHAHA! " The final boulder fell, leaving the devout Jashinist to incomprehensible mumbles for only himself to be the herald.
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Once again, another oneshot, this time in Hidan flavour! One of my favorite Akastsuki members really, along with Itach (only after true intentions are shown), Tobi (once again, and hey, Tobi's a good boy!), Deidara (terrorist bomber without a cause) and Kisame (freaky fish guy ftw). Is that a hint for later work? Possibly. Somehow I don't think I caught all of his character, which could lead to revamping it later, ah well. More swearing, less big words? No clue here. Kinda written on a lazy sunday, felt in the mood. Done in two hours-ish, yeahhh. Hidan seemed like the type of guy (and was) to go ax crazy in the end. Do review, because they're fun to respond to. See ya later, non-believers of the great Jashin! Haaaaa....