Cyborg Tells All
Hey everyone! Cyborg here, you're usual source for gossip, secrets, and details on the developing relationships between your favorite super heroes, the Teen Titans! I know everyone has been wanting to know the details of the most interesting debate in history: what do the Titans do behind closed doors!
Well, here I'm going to tell - and show - exactly what does go on, and trust me, you couldn't begin to imagine this stuff. Truth is certainly stranger than fiction.
For example...
Everyone knows by now that Robin and Starfire have been an official couple ever since we got back from Tokyo. Now, I'm sure many have speculated about that. I swear, if I hear one more question about "woman of steel, man of tissue..."
Oddly enough, the first such question regarding that came from Starfire herself...
"Friend Cyborg? May I ask you something of a personal nature?"
"SUre, Star, but wouldn't you rather talk with Raven about it? You usually do..."
"I think that involving Raven in this matter might be...the awkward for her. Also, I think you might actually know how to help me."
"Okay...what do you need?"
"You see...boyfriend Robin and I have been getting...intimate, as of late."
The blush on her face at this moment is adorable. Robin certainly lucked out. "Okay...not really my business, but..."
"And we have been thinking about performing-" the Tamaranean she used here doesn't transliterate well, but I know what she's saying.
"Okay...could you use the english, just to make sure I'm translating right?"
"But, the english seems so...to say we are wanting to have sex seems so...dirty..."
She hides her face here, and I find myself wanting to act the way she does normally, swueeling about cute things.
"COuldn't you just say you've been thinking about performing 'the making of love'? That's a more exact translation, isn't it?"
"Oh yes!" SHe claps her hands. "That sounds much less...naughty." She blushes again.
"Okay. So...what's the problem?"
"Well...when a Tamaranean is in the throughs of passion...they run the full gammit of their emotions. And..."
"I get the picture. If you don't take precautions, we'll be scrapping what's left of Robin off the walls?"
"I fear this may be so."
I grin. I might just have the solution. "Actually, humanity may have invented exactly what you need to help learn control during such endeavors. Tell me, have you ever heard of a kink called 'bondage'?"
Needless to say, it took some time to explain the concept to her, but once she understood, she was ecstatic. Nervous, of course, but ecstatic.
Anyway, Robin took to the idea - when Star presented it to him - quite well. I still have to fix the occasional hole in the roof or wall of Star's room - or Robin's room, depending on their moods - but at least I don't have to reassemble Robin every time they get it on.
Now, I'm sure many of you have been wondering about Beast Boy and Raven. Everyone seems to think they should be a couple, but nothing seems to happen between them. Well, I'm here to tell you - they are a couple, they're just much better at hiding it in public.
It took months to get them together. Getting the details of their feelings for each other out of them was a chore and a half, and convincing them the other felt the same way was even harder. You've never seen a more awkward start to a relationship.
However, once they got together, the relationship developed rather rapidly. I've got my own ideas as to why that happened - something to do with demon and animal instincts - but that's not important. Anyway, I'm sure you all recall that massive energy surge followed by a city wide power outage a few months back, and then all day the next day the Tower was under repairs? Well, whatever Robin told you officially, it wasn't a training accident. It was Raven's magic reacting to the emotional chaos of her first time.
Things haven't been all lovey dovey in the tower since, though. Their relationship progressing this far has...brought out a new side of Raven that is...interesting to deal with. Here are a few examples:
THis was a couple weeks after their first time. We were all in the common room, and Beast Boy was giving Starfire "the face" for some reason. YOu know what I mean, when he turns into that super adorable kitten?
Anyway, Raven glanced towards him, smirked, picked him up with her maigc, and tossed him into the sink, which was full of dirty dishwater. He came up spluttering.
"What did you do that for?" he demanded angrily.
"But Beast Boy," she said, her voice *shudder*...seductive. "Last night you said you loved wet pussy."
Can you believe Beast Boy found that hilarious? I had to hold down my lunch. Raven's like a little sister to me, and I do NOT need to know the details of what goes on in her bedroom.
Another time, Beast Boy and Starfire were fighting over the remote. Star wanted to watch the documentary about fungus, and Beast Boy wanted to watch 'Too Cute' on Animal Planet.
Anyway, after a while of wrestling over the remote, Beast Boy turned into an octopus, grabbing Star by her arms and legs while another tentacle reached for the remote in her hand. Robin was trying not to react badly to the situation, but he was obviously having a problem.
Then Raven came in. The temperature dropped about 20 degrees.
Beast Boy just froze, like a mouse caught in a snake's hypnotic gaze.
Okay, you all remember that footage someone got of that one fight between Raven and Dr. Light? The one with that now too famous quote, "What's the matter, afraid of the dark?" Well, Raven went full on demonic aura with black energy tentacles just like then while she floated towards Beast Boy and Starfire.
"Beast Boy," she said, her voice a few degrees away from the crack of doom. "I can't believe you would go to moleste Starfire with your tentacles..."
Beast Boy was still frozen. Starfire was trying to free herself. Robin was frozen, torn between backing away from Raven's obvious rage and moving forward to help Starfire. I had a camera out.
Then one of Raven's black energy tentacles wrapped around Starfire's waist. "...without me," she finished, her voice now a seductive purr.
I ran for it at that point, dragging Robin with me.
Things have been somewhat awkward since then. Not for the reasons you think. Starfire loved every minute of what happened after that (in case you're wondering, yes I dropped the camera, yes it recorded everything, NO it will NOT be distributed) and sees nothing wrong in having done 'the deepening of the friendship' between the two couples of the tower. Robin is having trouble dealing with it, and Beast Boy and Raven have been awkward with the others about what happened.
Once the situation resolves itself - however that happens - I'll let you all know. But for now, this is Cyborg signing off before the rest of the eam finds out I'm doing this. See ya!