A/N: For all you Royai fans out there. I simply adore this pairing in all their dysfunctional-ness! I plan for this to be a two piece…piece? I don't think it can be called a one-shot if there's two parts. -_-' Please enjoy and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist in any of its many forms.
I kept reliving that moment. Over and over, I watched the blade being dragged over her throat. Blood welling up as it passed over. I saw her fall, saw her dragged to the circle, leaving a trail of blood.
It had been my fault. I was the reason they had harmed her, so that I would open that cursed gate. I had watched, helpless, as they nearly killed her. If not for the child from Xing, she'd be gone.
The Promised Day had passed. Amestris had managed to survive. We'd lost so many of our comrades, in both Father's attack and the battle with Central forces. Our allies from Xing had remained to help with the reconstruction of the government.
The government was virtually non-existent at this point. From what Havoc had told me, as I lay in the hospital recuperating, I was a top candidate for Führer.
But would I make it as Führer? What could I really do, especially now. I couldn't save anyone. Not Huges or Havoc…I couldn't save Riza. How was I to lead a country? I'd lost my sight in the battle. Can a blind man see what a country truly needs?
I had realized as I'd watched Riza bleed out on the cold stone floor, again and again replaying in my mind, that I was weak.
I always let emotion get the better of me. Fullmetal and Riza had saved me from myself when we fought against Envy -the little bastard-! Riza had kept strong and refused to let me save her and place our world at risk. Again she helped me when I needed to fight, by becoming my eyes for the last battle. She'd always been my foundation, the one I depended on. It was due to her that I had my Alchemy. Time and time again she had saved me with her quick thinking and sharp eyes.
The woman I would die for, kill for, and love till I died. Riza…My Riza. My Lieutenant, comrade, voice of reason, and friend. The woman who had left after that last battle and in three weeks had yet to see me or contact me in any way.
She could at least call for God's sake! I knew damn well she could find a phone. She was the head of the reconstruction! Havoc talked to her constantly. Apparently she was doing a wonderful job with her amazing ideas. Yeah, my ideas. Well, at least she hadn't betrayed me. That would have broken me into a couple thousand little pieces and we all know the mess it is to clean that up.
"Roy…Roy!" Havoc's voice broke through the veil of self-pity and all-around worry. It was back to business. "You need to sign these." He placed a large stack of papers on the already table by my bed. I was terrified to see what my desk looked like. Oh, wait….
I sighed dramatically. "I would sign them if you would stop leaving every two minutes. It's not as if I can just magically sign the exact place I need to." I tapped my temple for emphasis. "Unless you'd like your hard work ruined…" I grabbed a document and posed a pen over it, as if I really meant to attempt it. The paper was snatched from my hands so fast I'm surprised it didn't ignite.
"Damn Havoc! I was joking!" I snapped, nursing the massive paper cut on my palm.
"Jeez, I wouldn't have thought it possible," he snarled sarcastically. "After all, you've been acting like an angry bear just 'cause Riza hasn't been by~!" He cut himself off.
I stiffened. "R-Roy! I didn't mean it! It…it just slipped out and I…" he was babbling now.
"Let's just get this signed." My voice sounded cold and distant even to me. The silence seemed to stretch on forever.
Eventually Havoc broke the stony silence. "Finally, the last one."
I let out a sigh of relief. "What's this one about?" I was amazed by all the stuff I'd signed today, from policies to memorials, every thing needed to be signed off on.
"Rebuilding on the central offices," he grunted. I signed where Havoc told me. "Hey, you got that one straight! You'll be back to sleepless nights of paperwork in no time!" His sarcastic, slightly chipper attitude was annoying.
"You do realize that most of those nights I was held at gunpoint to sign those papers?"
Yeah," he laughed, "But you've always had a sweet spot for the Lieutenant." He nudged me and I could envision the sly grin on his face.
"I'm out of here next week Havoc. Would you like to help me practice fighting? You can hold the target." I gave what I hope was my most maniacal grin.
He flinched. Score: Havoc-1, Roy-2. I get an extra point because I'm the boss and I can.
He gave a small laugh. "I'll pass, thanks." I heard the squeak of his wheelchair backing out. This only reminded me of my failure to save people…I really hoped I wasn't developing a complex. "See ya Roy." He paused in what I estimated to be the doorway. "She'll come Roy, give her time."
I hoped he was right for once.