Authors Note: Omg, I really shouldn't be writing this, I have other stories I need to do, but I just need me some Fem!Stiles.
Redbull & Hormones
Chapter One: The orgasm inducing, slightly creepy, sex god
Redbull was good. Redbull was jesus. Stiles was currently contemplating the idea of starting a religion for it. Literally, it was the only thing keeping her going. She was seriously dead, with bags under her eyes, and her hair a frizzy mess. It was worth it though, she had been up all hours of the night with her best friend, Scott, completely friend/sister/platonic relationship, this wasn't The Girl Next Door, searching for a dead body, because that's what's supposed to happen in small towns. Plus her dad was the sheriff, and according to her school counselor, Stiles had a sick fascination with dead things. It was whatever.
"Ugh, Scott, why would you do this to me?" she seethed, tossing a paper ball at her friends face. He was large, in her opinion, and tan. Stiles often wondered if, when nobody was looking, he turned into Jacob Black. A perfectly plausible assumption, for Stiles, of course.
He stared at her baffled, mouth dropped, kind of like a fish, "you're the one who-"
"Oh bugger off, be a good gentle-fellow and carry me to class" Stiles groaned and dropped all of her weight onto Scott. She could've sworn it was a yoga position.
Stiles would probably get F's in all her classes by the end of the day, she didn't bring anything she needed, not even a pencil, her entire backpack was just stocked with redbull, hot funyons (her food fetish), and books. Not textbooks, fiction, mythology, it was kind of her thing. Especially vampires, they were bomb diggity, in her opinion.
He grumbled something innapropriate and tried to distract her "oh look, Stiles, Danny" he pointed a finger at a buff boy with a gentle face. Also tan, also brunette, like Scott.
He was Stiles' boo, according to her. He was also gay, and Stiles had made it a hobbie, harassing him with stupid questions like 'If I were boy, what size do you think my penis would be?', but at least she had pure intentions, Scott hoped.
He wouldn't be surprised if one day Stiles just decided to cross dress.
"Danny!" She screeched, scrambling to get off of Scott. Danny's head shot up, staring in her direction, eyes wide, and 'suddenly' walking faster.
Pffft Stiles grinned as if!
Just when Stiles was going to pounce, Scott threw his hand out and grabbed her by her collar. She kept trying to run, squirming, biting, and kicking, in an attempt to escape his hold.
"Don't you wanna see my mega bloody bite mark? Gauze and everything?"
That got Stiles attention. Her body fell limp. Then she striked, practically tearing his shirt off. There it was, in all its glory, a blood stained gauze covered, large area, where the bite obviously resigned. Scott blushed and shoved Stiles, yanking at the shirts hem.
"Tell me everything" she whispered in awe.
Redbull & Hormones
So, apparently, when Stiles' dad caught her, she was sent home and grounded, but Scott continued the adventure without her! a sin punishable by death. Scott was lucky she was a merciful ruler. He even found the body! How crazy is that?!
It gets better,
it was a wolf that bit him!
They lived in California, and wolves, according to the internet, hadn't been to Beacon Hills in years.
Stiles found herself ditching her last three periods of the day to spend time using the school's literary resources to help Scott through his difficult time. If only he had done this for her when she got her first period. Ungrateful whore she thought fondly to herself.
She was splayed ontop of a table she claimed as her own, surrounded by werewolf books, like everywhere, making a point to ignore the rules of the school, drinking her redbulls, munching on Hot Funyons. Stiles needed nom noms if she was going to try to understand the whole sitting still concept. It helped that she was friends with the student aid who worked in the library, Isaac Lahey, he was on the same sports team as her.
"Isaac.." she croaked, as though she was sick, letting her limp body slide off the edge of the tabletop.
The meek boy looked up from filing books and frowned, concern washing over his face for the girl who was now looking sickly.
"Are you okay?" his voice was soft.
Stiles just gave a groan and began rolling around the floor, only giving him two words as an explaination, "Brain...Broken."
That sometimes happened when she tried too hard to learn. It almost always worked though. She could just never get comfortable, so Stiles usually only read actual books, instead of off the internet , in weird positons.
One Hour Later
Stiles was now on the main desk for the aid, draped over it, leds dangling off of one side, head off the other. Isaac sat on the chair, close to her, simply because the small girl demanded it.
She was the biggest little shit ever, and she knew it. Stiles, being the only girl on the Lacrosse team, with all guy friends, had almost all of them wrapped around her little pinky. Even Jackson felt guilty when he hurt her feelings.
"Page" Stiles couldn't hold a book AND read upside down.
One guess as to who she convinced to hold the book for her.
Two Hours Later
"Thank you Isaac!" Stiles grinned as she twirled around the empty library, everyone else was in class, putting away her mountain of books. Isaac followed her, carrying them for her.
In all honestly, Stiles had a crush on him when they first met, but it never went anywhere, and Stiles hated complicated things, so she decided that she wouldn't think about it, she would just enjoy his company.
"Its no problem" it totally was.
"Well..how about this? I owe you one. You need a ride home or something? gimme a call. Or.." she paused, looking both ways, as if what she was about to say was scandelous, "I'm harboring a cotton candy machine in my basement, we could enjoy a lovely night of sugar highs and innapropriate actions."
Isaac blushed, like the sweetheart he was, and Stiles grinned at him.
"Its really no big deal..."
"Oh shut up and accept, I'm rarely nice, now, you know I live for your company, but I must teach Scott how to be the proper Batman to my Robin."
"Who wants to be Robin?"
"In my version, Robins a girl, who's totally bamf, and uses her sex appeal to defeat sexist villains."
Sometimes it was appaling to hear Stiles speak, if she would ever just shut up, she would easily fit in with the quiet outcasts. But, sadly, she spoke a mile a minute. Her tongue sharp as silver.
"Bye, Isaac!" she waved as she retreated from the library quickly, a look of detemination in her eyes.
"Bye Stiles" he wasn't sure she had heard him, but he didn't really care, Stiles was happy, so all was good. For now at least...
Redbull & Hormones
"Wow Scott, I can't believe you're forcing me to look through the dirty forest for your bong."
Scott rolled his eyes as he moved the autumn leaves around.
"Inhaler."
"Drug Addict."
Stiles pouted and kicked a particularly large pile, effectively hitting a pine cone. It went skidding, and her eyes followed it, until finally, it was caught under a boot. She let her gaze wash over the person's body.
It was like a damn bursting inside of her, ovaries, just, PWOOF! Standing before her was a sex god. He was really buff, and tan, with just the right amount of stubble, and soul piercing blue eyes, the kind that Stiles read about.
Thump,thump,thump,
"Looking for something?" he held up Scott's inahler, or well, bong.
Thump, thump, th-thump
"Uh..yeah, thanks"
th-thump, thump, th-thump
"This is private property, don't make a habit of it."
Thumpthumpthumpthump
Stiles couldn't hear anything over the loud beat of her heart. She'd only every felt like this in the third grade, and that was a pretty freaky years. She had a crush on jackson, Lydia was single, people were normal. It was the kind of stuff that gave her nightmares.
He was a bad boy.
She easily recognized him, her brain like an archive of all knowledge, he was Derek Hale. His entire family died in a house fire, sister recently reported missing by , Stiles' teacher, and the only other survivor lived in the hospital. Peter Hale was burnt to a crisp, past any recognition, slowly decaying. She visited him once, and couldn't meet his eyes, her heart panging with pity.
He started walking away, and her mouth watered.
"You've got some drool, Stiles"
"I'm gonna tap that" she vowed in a whisper, not realizing that the young werewolf could hear her.
Authors Note: ASSDUGIEHRIGERJFLERJFERIUHGEIURH female Stiles gives me feels. Send halp.
xoxo,
Iliana