Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own The Wizard of Oz, or any of the places or characters in it.
Author: Now on with the show! Or story! Or whatever!
What Really Happened at the Wicked Witch of the West's Castle
"You have until the hourglass runs out to give me those shoes, or you'll have to watch reruns of "Zatch Bell"!" the Wicked Witch of the West shouted, and slammed the door to the small room shut. Dorothy could hear the key turning in the lock.
"Holy crap! Not "Zatch Bell"! Anything but that!" Dorothy cried, but there was no answer. "Are these stupid ruby slippers really worth all this? Glinda never even said what they did…maybe I should just give them to that annoying green lady…that way I won't have to watch—oh the horror—"Zatch Bell"!" Dorothy thought. She eyed the hourglass and saw that the red powder was almost completely drained. Then she thought of something…
"Hey, green lady, how can you make me watch "Zatch Bell" if TVs haven't been invented yet?" Dorothy shouted, and the Witch appeared in the middle of the room with a puff of red smoke. Dorothy jumped; she hadn't been expecting that.
"I can do whatever I want! I have a spellbook, see?" the witch replied, and held up a bright yellow book that said "HOW TO CAST SPELLS FOR DUMMIES". Dorothy had to suppress a laugh.
"That's your spellbook? Oh, please." Dorothy said.
The Wicked Witch's eyes narrowed. "Yes. It is. And now you'll see what it can do!" The Witch began chanting in some strange language and waving her arms around. Then she started doing disco.
"What the heck are you doing?" Dorothy exclaimed, pretty sure that that was NOT how a spell was cast.
"Why, I'm summoning a TV into being…oh, wait…shoot," the witch cursed, "those were the instructions on how to dance horribly…" she began flipping through the pages. Dorothy couldn't help but laugh. "You shouldn't be laughing, missy!" the witch shouted, and having found the right page, began chanting again. A TV appeared in the corner with a loud popping noise. "There, you see? I did it. And now you'll pay for mocking me."
The Wicked Witch of the West walked over to the TV and turned it on. "Zatch Bell" came on, and Dorothy covered her eyes. "Please, please! Not that! Anything but that! Please, turn it off! I'll give you the stupid shoes, just turn it off!" she begged. Then a commercial came on. "This just in," the TV blared, "Green and red clash horribly! Red is now obsolete! The new red is purple! Buy purple accessories today at Percy's Purple Emporium! Now back to "Zatch Bell"!"
The Wicked Witch of the West turned off the TV. "That's okay, Dorothy, I don't need the shoes anymore. Red is officially out of style." The Witch began walking out of the room, but tripped on a stack of precariously placed books and fell headlong into a vat of mustard. "Dangit!" she screeched, "What the heck is that doing there?" She got up, covered in the tangy yellow dressing.
"Don't worry, lady! I'll help you!" Dorothy cried, and with righteous haste grabbed a bucket of water. "Here!" she called, and threw the water on the Wicked Witch in the hopes of washing off the mustard (Dorothy wasn't one to hold grudges).
The Witch began smoking. "YOU IDIOT!" she screeched. "I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!" the Wicked Witch of the West was reduced to thin air, and only her hat remained.
Just then, the lion, tin man, and scarecrow burst into the room. "Dorothy, are you okay?" cried the scarecrow.
"Yeah, I'm fine." replied Dorothy.
"What happened to the Witch?" asked the Tin-Man.
"Well," began Dorothy, but the Scarecrow cut her off when he saw the Witch's hat.
"Oh, Dorothy! You're amazing! You killed the Wicked Witch of the West!" he exclaimed.
"Well, yeah, but--" Dorothy started, but the Tin-Man interrupted, "You've saved all of Oz! You're a hero!"
Dorothy looked bewildered. "Well I guess, but—" the lion interrupted this time. "Thank you, Dorothy! Thank you! We'll tell all of Oz what a hero you are, and the wizard will let you go home!"
"Well, erm, okay…" said Dorothy, and the four skipped out of the castle and off to see the Wizard of Oz.