Lupin's eyes glistened like the summer snow. Bits of confetti rained down under the light of the flaming sun, creating a girly quality within them. "I..." He cleared his throat, ridding it of the choked up sound. "I never thought I'd see you again, you retarded fucks!" He thrusted a playful fist into Jigen's shoulder before pulling him into a hug. His nose pressed against Jigen's neck as he took in the scent he had dreamt of for months, arms restricting Jigen's movement like iron rope.
Laughing uncomfortably, Jigen patted Lupin's back the best he could. "Nice to see you too, buddy." He could barely withhold a squeal as one of Lupin's hands traveled lower, Lupin's hips seductively crashing into his.
'Later,' Lupin told himself, letting Jigen go. He turned to Goemon to give the samurai and nice handshake.
"It's nice to meet-uh, see you, Lupin." Goemon gazed at his husband, feeling all to foreign in one of the old hideouts.
"Lupin, who's there?" came a voice from some other room, obviously Fujiko's.
"Nobody!" Lupin answered, his chuckle holding an insanity that only Jigen could have caused. He led the others to the sitting area where he made himself comortable on the couch. To his displeasure, the married couple was able to sit together anyway, albeit one was sitting on a lap rather than a cushion. "You're ready to get back in the business, huh?"
Jigen's cheeks were tinted with the lightest of reds. "I never quit. I just... got distracted."
"Oh?" Lupin was pleased. This would give him much time to get what he wanted. He only hoped he got it soon. With Jigen there, he was having difficulty controlling himself. "Good. And you, Goemon?" he asked, sounding bored.
"I... am still loyal to you." While saying this, he clasped Jigen's hand. As long as he had Jigen's warmth beside him, he would continue doing his dirty work. Love hadn't changed him... much. The main change was outward. He hardly bothered to wear clothes anymore; they never would be on very long. It was a shame to damage them at that.
A wave of nostalgia had Lupin trembling with joy. The others would never have to know of the months he'd spent wallowing in misery, not even the scent of strawberry sexy able to console him.

The three men turned their heads when a gasp sounded behind them, porcelain plates shattering below. Pieces of macaroni were spilled everywhere-macaroni that had never done anyone wrong.
"Fujiko-chan!" He greeted the woman cheerfully. She was the only one that could tell how fragile he truly was. And just as his night terrors had begun to fade...
She lowered her head, coffee strands falling over her eyes. "How dare you," she whispered, voice holding a broken rage. "How dare you come back here." Her feet edged, little by little, towards the man in the hat, smooth palm colliding with his rough, hairy face. Before she knew it, her head popped up and she released a second gasp. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." She held the tainted hand close to her, wondering if the imprint of that feeling would stay in her mind forever. She had the feeling it would.
"Fujiko?" Jigen found himself all the more confused. Lupin was acting mostly normal, but for her to slap him... "You fuckin' bitch! I come back here to talk to my buddy and you have to stir up your girly drama. Why don't you just leave? We'd all be better without you."
"How could you be so stupid?" she screamed, tears welling in her eyes. "How could you not realize what you've done?"
The two stared eachother down, neither one getting a better answer than before.
"Lupin, come."
Disappointment seeped into Lupin's stomach. "But Fujiko, why?"
She grabbed the back of his head, releasing the smallest amount of her pent up feelings in a passionate kiss. Before she got too carried away, she pulled back, trapping him withing her embrace. A puff of heat hit Lupin's ear as she whispered, "It hurts, doesn't it?"
After a moment of hesitation, he nodded. It was the absolute truth. Every inch of him ached to reach out to the man the rational part of his mind knew he couldn't have. He rushed away with the one keeping him sane before he did something that would ensure that.

"Whore," Jigen muttered, bringing his closer. "You're still upset about earlier?"
Goemon clung onto his man, saying as if he were about to cry, "No."
"It's not a big deal." Before receiving a rant about insensitivity again, he added, "If it makes you feel better, you puked it up."
"I still taste it!" He punched Jigen lightly out of frustration. "It's awful." He liked it, which only made it worse. "It's burning my tongue-burning me!"
"It's not that bad... So you ate some fried crap and... cinnamon's good for you. Just ask one of your elders or something! They wouldn't shun you for having it!"
"You... you think?" Slowly, Goemon tore away from the intoxicating fabric. The way Jigen sweat more when trying to explain his Western ways calmed him in some way, or at least gave way to more pleasant feelings. "And the other stuff?"
Jigen paused. "Uhm... Yeah, those too. They're..." full of sodium? Sour? "They have healing properties." It was one of the most ridiculous lies he'd ever told about pickles.
"I just don't know what compelled me to eat such things." Goemon never touched the food items Jigen kept around, minus the things bought for him. "You'd best buy only Japanese food. I can't do that again."
While Jigen was still pissed about his churros, he nodded in agreement. He would have to make some time to sneak out to eat.
Goemon's lips were touched by the smile of a vulnerable young girl caught up in her first romance. The same could be said for his cheeks and eyes. Even his hair had a shinier coat. "Take me home, will you?" His fingers wove with Jigen's a warm pillow for their hearts to share.
"Always," Jigen replied with a lusty grin, knowing something good was in store, despite being disallowed to molest his total equal relationship-wise right there.

"Ah!" Goemon said with the passion of a million screaming fans as Jigen's love sexually assaulted him. The scent of strawberries infiltrated their lungs, adding fuel to the fire-the dancing flames of passion that surrounded the perfect, white-gated mansion of their romance. "Jigen," he groaned, "I don't think I can hold on."
Jigen chuckled in his breathless way, his nose nuzzling against Goemon's ear. "Don't worry, baby, you'll get your turn."
"I can't do it," he whispered, moaning as Jigen's perfume flooded into his nostrils, choking him.
"Goe-baby?" Jigen tucked a lock of hair behind his lover's ear, getting a better look at the face of his wife whose body had gone limp. "I guess it was too much for him." A sense of panic filled him as he thought about why it might have happened. What if Goemon had a sex disorder? What if they never could have their lovin' again? "Goemon..." Gulping down the tension, he made a decision. "Okay," he said, caressing Goemon's hair. "Let Daddy finish and then he'll get you everything you need."

Some time later, two people stood outside the door, serious looks on their faces. "Doctor, how did this happen?"
The doctor sighed. "It's very rare. You see, each person has something about them, something that cannot be explained. For you and I, it doesn't have an effect on our daily lives, but for them..." The doctor shook his head. "To put it simply, you could say each man has an extra gene. The naked man has one that's of a female variety, and the hatted one of the male variety. Together, they form something that was never meant to happen." The doctor's eyes stayed glued to the floor. He couldn't possibly go in there. He had never gotten such a strong sense of manliness, not from anything but that hatted man. For his own safety and professionalism, he could not go in there at any cost. "Please, Nurse, take care of these two."
The woman nodded with determination set in her eyes. "Yes."

A woman soon entered their room with a friendly smile. Goemon, who was awake, looked away, unhappy with being there in the first place.
"Mister Jigen, I assure you there's nothing to worry about. Everything's just fine."
Jigen nodded, certain she was not finished speaking. "What is it, Nurse?"
"Your husband... is pregnant."