Better Left Unsaid 2 - Abby's Story

The air in the dark corridor was cold and smelled faintly of mildew. It had been raining off and on for a solid month, perhaps the weather was paying respects to the departed Lee Scoresby. Sleet and snow had frozen the grounds, making it nearly impossible for anyone to spend time outdoors. As a result of this, Abby had taken to making nightly trips to the Astronomy Tower. Part of her just wanted to be alone, and part of her wished fleetingly to catch the first glimpse of Lee's return, so she waited faithfully every night. When he did come back, she, as was her right, would be the first to know.

There had been no question in her mind the day Lee was killed that this time she would not stray. She knew that as an immortal, he would inevitably be back, but it was not this that kept her from infidelity. Even if he were to never return, it would be downright impossible for her to love another as she loved Lee.

On this particular night, Abby had gotten the distinct impression that she shouldn't return to the Astronomy Tower, but impulse had driven her from the common room. Now that she had made it a habit which sustained her through each day, she could not resist making the trip. So, ignoring the strange feeling in her navel, she had set off into the night, winding her way upon a familiar path which led her directly to her destination. She assumed no one else knew the exact way as she had never run into anyone before, which was just as well. She wasn't about to explain her nighttime ritual to anyone, not even Danny or Liz.

As Abby ascended the spiral staircase leading to the top of the tower, she paused and listened hard. After a moment, she shrugged and dismissed what she thought had been footsteps behind her. Opening the door with an iron ring, she stepped out onto the smooth stone surface of the open tower. The crenellated walls allowed her to look out over the grounds of Hogwarts and the absence of some sort of roof gave her the opportunity to gaze at the stars that shone brightly without the obstruction of light pollution. The rain had stopped and the clouds had cleared just enough to give her a blanket of stars. Sighing deeply, she sat down in the corner farthest from the door, allowing the sheer beauty of the night, which felt as delicate and fragile as ice, to fill her with a sense of elation she had not felt for some time. Somewhere in her heart, Abby felt that such an resplendent night had been made just for her, in some small way becoming nature's attempt to calm her aching soul.

As the young girl fought to gain control of her emotions, a boy two years her senior made no attempt to stop the urges which were now causing him to trace her steps. He had been kind to her, he had withstood her fierce objections that had landed him a broken nose, he had been patient while she coped with the loss of the one thing standing in his way, but he could wait no longer. A girl like Abby who wore skirts shorter than the dress code allowed, who was painstakingly beautiful in the untouchable kind of way, who seemed to know with perfect apathy the torture she put teenage boys through, was in no way justified to get away with what she did, he rationalized.

He would put a stop to her cynical little game, and satisfy the need for her he'd had ever since the Quidditch tryouts all at once. It was like killing two birds with one stone, really. And he knew she would never tell. He was banking on her pride to keep him out of trouble, though who would really believe her when it was so very obvious that she had been asking for it all along?

It was with this arrogance in mind that he opened the door to the top level of the tower and looked down upon the small form of the object of his desire, bathed in the light of the stars, as pure as the night itself.

Abby had been lost in thought when she heard the door open. How long would it be until Lee returned, she had been wondering. Did she blame Danny for what had happened? Of course not. It had been Voldemort's actions through the medium of her brother's body, and he was deserving of no blame. His only fault would be not stopping Abby from leaving the common room that night.

"Trevor!" Abby exclaimed, alarmed and somewhat embarrassed to have been found in the one place at Hogwarts she had claimed as her own.

The most unsettling smile spread across his lips that incited anger in Abby, though she didn't quite understand why. All she wanted was for Trevor to leave her alone so she could recover some of the sanctity of her hiding spot.

"Fuck off," she said, meaning everything but the literal sense of the word. She looked away determinedly, forcing her gaze upon the tops of the trees of the Forbidden Forest. She willed him to leave her alone, and for a brief second, thought he had until she felt his warm breath upon her neck. She shivered and pushed him back, thoroughly disgusted.

"Get away from me," she snapped.

He watched her, fierce and young in the pale starlight. Something awoke in him that until now, he had suppressed for her sake. There was no need to hold back any longer.

"You knew it from the beginning, you littler harlot," he said, his words biting into her like ice. She stared at him, too bewildered to be indignant. "Don't give me that look," he said, grabbing her wrist. "Your eyes deceive you. You pretend to be innocent, but you're not. How long were you intending to play your little game, Abby? A boy can only take so much."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," she stuttered truthfully, and he laughed derisively. Abby looked at the hand on her wrist and resentment flared in her deep green eyes. She jerked her arm from his grasp and stood up, backing away from him. He stood as well, advancing upon her with a look that filled her heart with dread.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. You've been denying me the one thing I want most . . . and you're enjoying every second of it."

Abby laughed. Who in their right mind would think she was enjoying this? Was it the look of perplexity on her face that gave it away? Or the obvious racing of her heart, perhaps? Whatever it was, it had Trevor utterly convinced.

He sneered. "Even now, you're amused at your handiwork. Well congratulations, Abby, I've taken the bait." He was now so close that she could smell his damp breath and feel the heat of his body, twice the size of her own.

"Piss off, I don't know what you're playing at, but you're off your rocker," she said, moving to push him aside, but as she reached out to do so, he grabbed both of her hands and pinned them to her abdomen, wrapping his arms around her.

"Oh no you don't. You're not leaving, not now," he breathed into her ear and she shuddered deeply, twisting about in his grip, but he was rather stronger than she'd anticipated. He held her fast against him and she could feel his heart beat calm and steady between her shoulder blades. She seethed with fury at his serenity at a time like this, and she was surprised when he let her go.

Wasting no chance, she broke free and ran for the door, which shut with a snap that told her it was magically locked. Slowly, she turned to face Trevor, who had his wand out, a small self-satisfied grin on his face.

Abby took a deep, shuddering breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again a moment later, she was gazing at him intently.

"Unlock this door," she said in a voice which surprised her with its calmness.

"I don't think so," he said simply, his grin broadening as he pocketed his wand. Abby's heart sank and she backed away from him, her heels hitting the stone ramparts with an unreal solidness. She was suddenly cold and her mind went blank as he drew nearer, the look in his eyes one she would never forget.

Abby awoke the next morning, her whole body aching. The physical strain of avoiding Trevor for as long as she could seemed to have worn her body out more than the act he had so longed to commit. Slowly, she sat up and looked around. The crisp morning seemed different, as if she now saw things in a new, duller light. All was silent, and it was hard to believe that not hours ago, the walls of the building around her had echoed her desperate cries for help.

Having given up the hope of being rescued, Abby had not allowed Trevor to take her easily. She fought him, sans wand, for she had left it on the bedside table in her dorm, until she could no longer resist his powerful arms and sheer desire to take what he wanted.

Abby pulled her legs up close and wrapped her arms around her knees, resting her chin on them. She squeezed her eyes shut and buried her head in her arms, but this gesture did nothing to block out the vivid memory of his body on hers, bare skin in the starlight, the rustle of the trees as they kept her terrifying secret. She knew in her heart that what had happened was real, but she tried with everything she had to deny it, until the thought of his ruthless thievery was too much to bear. Slowly, she stood up on legs that seemed reluctant to want to bear her weight. Brushing the hair from her eyes, she resolved to try and maintain what little dignity she still possessed and also to take a vow of silence on the matter. She would never speak of this incident to anyone, not even Lee if he ever did, in fact, return.

As Abby left the tower and began the long trek back to the Gryffindor common room, head down, she felt ashamed that Lee had become the least of her worries. It pained her now to think of him and she was astounded to find that a small part of her dreaded his return. For, how could she possibly look into his eyes, touch him as she once had, show any sign of affection for him with the secret she kept determinedly inside?

All at once, she was jolted painfully from her thoughts by a familiar, and not unwelcome, voice. "Abby, where have you been!"

Abby looked up quickly into the solicitous face of her best friend, Eliza Gracefield.

"Oh I," she began, her mind racing to find an excuse, "I fell asleep in the Astronomy Tower." She could tell that Liz had no intentions of believing this, so she hurried up the marble staircase before her. "But I'm not feeling well . . . I think I'll go lie down," she finished truthfully. She did not feel well at all, in fact, she felt rather ill. She watched as Liz studied her closely while pretending she wasn't.

"Are you okay?" Liz asked in the tone that always told Abby she wasn't going to let it go.

Abby looked down and nodded, wishing to be away from the prying eyes of her friend, who she knew meant nothing but good in her concern. "I'm fine, but like I said . . ." she replied, trailing off and taking this opportunity to get away, walking past Liz toward the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Nox," she muttered, keeping her eyes down to avoid the curious look she would no doubt receive from the painting. Mercifully, the portrait swung forward and Abby stepped into the common room, instinctively searching for someone she already knew wasn't there. She sniffed and returned her gaze to the ground, heading for the fourth year girls' dormitory. Once inside, Abby knew what she had to do. She couldn't tell anyone what had happened, but she had to let it out somehow.

With this, she walked over and sat down on her bed, searching under the pillow and pulling out a small spiral notebook she had kept since her first year at Hogwarts. She pulled a Muggle pen from the spirals and opened the book to a fresh page.

Where do I begin? she wrote. Then it occurred to her. If she simply kept her mouth shut and never wrote it down, perhaps she could will the whole thing out of existence. Surely Trevor wasn't stupid enough to go boasting that he had raped a fourteen year old. All she had to worry about, then, was herself. But she wanted the memory gone, and if complete and utter ignorance of the fact was the only way she could achieve that, so be it.

She scratched out the first sentence and wrote in its stead:

Some things are better left unsaid.
Forever.
-Abby Parry