Disclaimer: Don't own... Don't even own half the stinkin' plot line.
Author's Notes: I have no excuse for this. Me and Shelia V aka xxTheVoicesxx were talking and we started this convo and this one-shot came of it. She's going to be writing her own version eventually. Some of the lines are directly from the convo.
This is not PAFM universe but it would be funny if it was. But like I said it isn't I have something different planed for that. So enjoy and don't kill me for not updating.
And Rogue doesn't have control yet. But her and Remy are dating none the less. And they are all of legal drinking age except Kitty. This is in no way meant to be taken seriously.
Getting Hitched and Other Such Nonsense
John was in a word bored. Not that surprising since he was at the Institute, his lighter had been taken away from him, and both his mates and Wanda were nowhere to be seen at this moment.
Which is why he was at the moment looking for Remy to help him prank some people. Knowing Remy he was probably with Rogue, who might just know where Wanda was. So even if he didn't agree to help him John still won.
He heard Rogue yelling a dull thud, telling him where they were. He followed the sound and found them alone in the rec room, in their usual positions, with Remy smirking and Rogue glaring at him.
"Awe come on Cherie yo' know yo' love moi, why else would yo' care if Remy got hurt or not?" Remy said riling her up.
"Ah don't Swamp Rat, Ah just don't want ya kissin' meh" she growled at him.
John watched them in confusing. He thought they had passed this stage a long time ago… something must have happed between them, and as their mate it was his job to fix it.
"Hey mates what's wrong? Ya wanna tell me?" John said making his entrance.
"G'away John ya aren't Dr. Phil" Rogue growled at him.
"Oi do have a good impersonation of him though" John replied cheerfully.
"Git out of here Jonny Remy wants to talk to his Cherie alone" Remy said glaring at him.
"What's gotten into you two?" John asked now very confused.
"So Cherie, yo' gonna answer moi question?" Remy asked ignoring him.
"What question?" John asked.
"What do ya think the answer is Cajun?" Rogue said answering his question with a question.
"What is going on here?" John cried out.
"Remy t'inks it's a yes" Remy said still ignoring John.
"What's a yes?" John asked hoping to finally get some answers.
"Go away John. If ya want ta know where Wanda is, she's hidin' from Toad at the old Brotherhood house" Rogue told him giving him her death glare.
John respected the death glare so he left to go see Wanda (see: scurried for his life to get away from Rogue so she wouldn't absorb him). When he was out of the room he stopped to listen to him for a while.
"Remy ya know that Logan's gonna have a heart attack when he finds out what we're gonna do, then he's gonna kill ya" Rogue told Remy.
"So Kitty's gonna kill de both of us when she finds out" Remy reasoned.
"True enough" Rogue agreed.
At this point John had an idea of what was going on and decided to get out of there before he was found out and Rogue decided she wanted to kill him.
John skipped into the old Brotherhood boarding house much to the annoyance of Wanda who wanted to be alone.
"What are you doing here John" she asked.
"Oi was looking for you luv" he replied cheekily.
"One don't call me luv. Two why?" she glared at him.
"Okay luv. And one Oi was bored two Oi wanted to tell you something" he told her.
"What did you want to tell me?" she asked not really listening.
"It's about Rogue and Remy" he said excitement in his voice.
"Are they finally getting hitched?" she asked sarcastically.
"Actually Oi think they are" John answered totally missing her sarcasm.
"What?" Wanda yelled jumping up.
"Oi heard them talking and they said some things and Oi think they're planning on getting hitched.
"What things? Now's not the time to be vague John!" Wanda yelled at him.
"Well Remy asked Rogue if she was going to answer his question and she implied that it was a yes, and after they though Oi left I heard them talkin' about Logan killing Remy and Kitty killing the both of them, which lead to my conclusion that they are eloping" John said crossing his arms and nodding.
"We should so use this to blackmail them" Wanda said excitedly.
"Yeah we can force them to take us with them and make it a double wedding" John started getting even more excited.
Wanda blinked. "Did you just propose to me?" she asked surprised.
John shrugged "Sure why not luv" he flashed her a crooked smile.
"Well lets go then" Wanda said.
"Is that a yes?" John asked.
"It's most defiantly is a yes" Wanda said.
"Good luv" John said grinning.
He picked her up and skipped out the door with her throwing threats of what would happen to him if he dropped her.
"We know your secret" Wanda declaired as she and John stormed into the rec room, which was still empty of everyone minus Rogue and Remy.
"What secret?" Rogue asked innocently.
"That you and Remy are plannin' to elope" John said grinning madly at them.
"And why would yo' t'ink dat?" Remy asked giving them his poker face.
"Oi heard you guys talkin' and Oi came to this concusion" John said nodding.
"So what are ya two plannin' ta do about it?" Rogue asked.
"We'll tell everyone if you guys don't let us in" Wanda told them.
"Tell everyone what?" Kitty asked phasing in from the ceiling.
"Nothin'!" Rogue and Remy yelled at the same.
"You guys like are aware that I already know that you guys are eloping right?" Kitty said crossing her arms.
"HOW?" everyone yell asked at the same time.
"I planned it" she said simply.
"What?" Rogue asked glaring.
"Did I say planned I meant predicted" Kitty corrected her error before Rogue could kill her.
"How did you predict that?" Wanda asked.
"I also predicted that you and John would follow them" Kitty said.
"How...?" Wanda at lost for words tried to ask again.
"I've been taking classes" Kitty shurgged.
"What kind of classes?" Rogue asked suspiciously afraid of the answer knowing Kitty.
"Romance classes" Kitty sang "I'll like tell you guys about it on the plane if you let me come".
"Fihne ya'll can come with us. Happy?" Rogue growled to them.
"YES!" Kitty exclaimed.
"Lets go not before Logan decides to come to" Remy said dragging Rogue away.
Their friends shrugged and followed them out the door.
One Month Later
"What?" everyone asked after the five previously missing people told their story.
Rogue sighed and prepared to tell it again.
"Remy and Ah were joking around and said if we were to get married we would go to Vegas and not tell anyone because Ah wouldn't want a big wedding and Logan would kill him. While we were joking Remy ask meh if Ah really wanted to marry him and Ah said yes" Rogue said.
"While they were in the middle of plannin' Oi over heard them and told Wanda" John told them.
"I thought it would be fun to blackmail them" Wanda added "And John suggested we make them take us and make it a double wedding."
"Den while we were disusing dat Kitty came in saying she predicted this happening" Remy said.
"When we got Vegas well..." Kitty tailed off.
"Ah got control of my powers while drunk" Rogue stated.
Everyone stared at her like she had just grown two heads and was acting like John all of the sudden.
"And that's not even like the half of it" Kitty said.
"Kitty told us not to get a double wedding. So of course we did exactly what she told us not to do" Wanda said "And that ended with me married to Remy and Rogue married to John."
"After we got that straightened out we had a run in with Mystique and Magneto" John said.
"Yeah that wasn't pretty" Rogue said.
"And it ended with me in jail with some drunken nut job mutant hating cop who wouldn't take bail and had a power inhibiting collar" Kitty said.
"So Remy had to break her out" Remy said annoyed.
"Then we couldn't get any transportation home, and we are not telling ya how we got home" Rogue told them.
"And I'm pregnant" Wanda stated.
"Uh..." was pretty much the response out of everyone in the room.
"Now ve know vhy they zay vhat happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" Kurt said.
Everyone else nodded there heads in agreement at lose for words, except for the five who told the story.
They just sat there smirking. No way were they telling them what else had happened.
Besides if they told Logan about that male stripped they were pretty sure he would have a conniption.
Author's Notes: Yeah... So that's the story. Kinda weird. The whole last part was mine alone. I have no clue what made me think of it though.
Any ways I'm working on the next chapters of all my stories so calm down okay. And tell me what you thought of this one.
It was really just supposed to be a funny little fic for no reason at all other than because I can.
Wolf Skater out!