Heero Yuy: The Perfect Soldier

Heero Yuy: The Perfect Soldier . . . or is he??

September 14, A.C. 196

I can't believe I let Duo talk me into this. I'm the perfect freakin' soldier I do NOT need a "diary" or journal. Why do you think I have my laptop?? But no the Braided Wonder strikes again and now we are all "journaling". Hmph . . . I could be doing more important things . . . like killing people . . . or working with Wing Zero. Its not like it can just fix itself you know it takes me forever and yet every time I come back I have to do it again.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Everyone thinks that I'm perfect and that I cant do anything wrong. . . they obviously haven't met me. . . if they had they would realize that I have my demons too. And not the cool kind either. I mean really do you have any idea how hard it is for me NOT to kill Duo?? Sometimes I think hes just trying to get me to . . . stupid suicidal brat. And yet at the same time I cant help but not care at all. Quatre is always saying I need to lighten up. I don't think so he should just TRY being me for a day . . . urrr scratch that no more Zero System for Quatre.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Hmm . . . I wonder what the others are writing . . . I mean its really quiet this is really unusual I mean usually at least one person is talking. If I hear one more person say that I need to be more like Duo im going to go insane . . . or kill them . . . it all depends on my mood and who says it. All I know for sure is that if I became him I think the world would be coming to an end. (AN: talk about ADD :P)

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I swear the next time I see the freakin' doctors one of them is going to get shot. I mean really with all the "be a perfect soldier don't show any emotion kill kill kill" yes yes its all fun and all but eventually youy need a break. And a break does not include Relena it includes me far away on a nice beach somewhere with my laptop and that's it. No one to bug me no one to train me and no freakin' missions just fro a little bit.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Anyway . . . journaling. . . I think Duo said something about letting our inner emotions out . . . I don't even know if I have inner emotions anymore. Well besides rage, annoyance, and loathing . . . nut do those really count? I think he meant more like your inner Duo be free!! Now that's a really scary idea imagine me as DUO!! (AN: o.O) I don't think I could do it for one the hair its just too long I could never let it grow out that long it would drive me nuts . . . although his does make a very nice leash at times.

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I hope Duo never sees this because if he did he would be shocked for one thing im actually you know writing instead of just glaring and thinking like I usually do. Then again I would pay to see the look on his face if he could see me acting normal for once. It shouldn't be that big of a shock I am a teenage boy after all.


I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you