To Kill A Spy (Noir vs. Team Fortress 2)
A Crossover Fanfic by gonzotheanime
Introductions and Backgrounds
Here's the 411 on the series and the team of "Noir." It's basically two very skilled assassins-for-hire. One was the orphan of a very rich Coriscan family who was mysteriously murdered,
Mireille Bouquet. One woke up with no memories but a ton of killing methods, Kirika
Yuumura. Both hook up as partners to figure out if any of their jobs, from their base in Paris
to as far as America and Taiwan, can lead them to the answers they seek about Mireille's
parent's death, Kirika's memories, and the strange organization The Soldats. (Soldats =
"soldiers", French.)
"Team Fortress 2" is an Xbox 360 game (sold as part of "The Orange Box" promotion with
"Portal" and "Half-Life 2") and a stand-alone PC game, with multiple players and multiple
choices. The player can choose to be either The Scout, The Sniper, The Soldier, The Engineer,
The Heavy Weapons Guy, The Spy, The Demoman, The Pyro-man or The Medic. Each has
their special capabilities, weapons, etc. to carry their tasks of either retrieving the enemy's
briefcase or protecting their own. Basically "Capture The Flag" with guns, explosives, and
whatnot, and with optional online play. (From my understanding, but I have yet to play that
game or even buy the damned thing...)
Kirika is quite an assassin, but she may have a bit of trouble. You see, The Spy has not only a
silenced pistol and butterfly knife, but also various gadgets from in the game, like for invisible
cloaking or automatic disguise as an opposing team member. Something tells me Kirika
LOVES those odds.
Time-wise, this might be interpreted as set between Episodes 16 and 17.
Kirika's First Solo Assignment
Excerpt from Mireille Bouquet's inbox:
"This assignment is issued to Miss Kirika Yuumura only.
"The job, should you accept, is an assassination to French General Jean Le Crouse. He has
issued this assassination himself.
"According to several witnesses, he has been secretly surveyed by an unknown gentleman for
a month. He has not a clue as to his exact features, as it is hidden behind a mask and oddly
an expensive suit. He feels he has no other choice, since hiding proved ineffective, and
investigations revealed nothing.
"As an extra measure, if you noticed the spy, it is requested that the spy be terminated at all
costs.
"The funds will be entered into your accounts.
"Sincerely,
"Cecilia Brunestead, Secretary"
"I guess you should give it a shot," spoke the blonde partner. "Your first solo, and a double
hitter, too."
"I take it you will be busy with your own matters," whispered the amnesiac.
"Yes. I will be in Corsica to follow up on our trails to The Soldats. Alone."
"I won't object to that. I have my own problems for now. Tell me about it afterwards, if it's
alright."
"I might, I might not. It depends on the pain..."
Despite Mireille's absence, Kirika was able to dig up enough information as to why some
mysterious spy would wander around a soon-to-be-engaged-in-combat soldier. Credit-wise,
he wasn't very decorated in medals, but is the right-hand man for several mercenary
companies. The best possibility, she assumed, is of the underground kind.
Dinnertime came. A small takeout order was the best idea to the little assassin, to save on
the food in case Mireille's trip takes a little longer.
She grabbed her necessities (small amount of cash leftover from the other jobs, apartment
keys, and her handgun, just in case) and headed for the door. The moment she exited, the
perceptive girl felt a eying presence watching over her. The presence lingered about her, from
the street to the restaurant, even after arriving back at the apartment.
It reached it's climax as soon as the door closed. Gun drawn, the amnesiac checked over
every possible corner in the dark, hoping to catch anything or anyone in the apartment. The
apartment was empty in her eyes. Only to her...
The intruder caught her off-guard with a single headlock, but Kirika broke free and reacted
swiftly. She positioned herself near the windows, where the full moon was shining its bright
light, immediately after a cloud moved away. She let the moonlight show her small, yet
average stature, hopefully to broadcast a message to the intruder.
"A girl?" a French accent spoke. "And a skillful mademoiselle, if I must admit."
"Just who the hell are you?" shouted Kirika. "Tell me your name."
"Name?" replied the voice from the darkness.
The apartment lights flash on, temporarily blinding the Noir girl. The light revealed a thin, tall
man, with a brown and sharp suit. His whole head, save the eyes and mouth, were
completely covered in a red mask. "Should a lady tell her name, too?"
The girl flinched. She wasn't sure if she wants to give the man her supposed name, Kirika, or
the name she really knows herself, Noir.
"No?"
"Kirika. My name is Kirika Yuumura."
The masked trespasser then took a bow, which Kirika embraced for in case of any fowl play.
"I'm sorry, but I have no name for this young woman."
"Then what are you?"
The mystery guest then took a cigarette case out of his jacket, takes one and lights it. "I
guess you can say I'm anyone, yet no one. I'm anywhere and nowhere. To put simply, a spy."
"I take it you're after that general."
"Oui. You are a perceptive girl." The spy casually strolled toward the girl. "And one incredible
assassin, too."
"You've done your homework."
"But I take it that you wish to learn of my purpose, my mademoiselle."
The girl shook her head in response.
"I must admit, I have not a political purpose, per se. This is just a bit of entertainment."
"Entertainment?" asked Kirika.
"Even spies become bored. And so does assassins." The spy leaned forward to level his head
near Kirika's dollish face. "I bet this young dame wished she would done something to past
the time, does she? Just decided to stalk some homeless elder and put him out his misery?"
Kirika snapped. With a firm grip on the handgun, she delivered a harsh blow to the spy's
temple with the butt of the gun. When the spy reeled back, she positioned the gun, aiming
right above the eyes. "You've overstayed your welcome. Now get out!"
"My apologies," replied the spy. "Until we meet again, my petite choflur."
Rendezvous of Lover's Spat
The misfortune of last night's strange meeting with the rogue spy left Kirika upset. To let
herself get ambushed and to even be ridiculed about how boredom might drive you insane,
she kept the agitated atmosphere around her for most of the morning, even through the
routine target practice in Paris's underground sewers.
It took a cup of tea to calm her nerves. She can't allow whatever emotion comes her way to
interfere with the job at hand. Emotions can really cloud one's judgment, and she needs her
perception to put the general out of his spying misery. First off, she has to get some vital
information from him.
Just waltzing through military doors with a handgun isn't the best idea, but Kirika had a few
others. A simple prick with a paper clip here, some crawling there, and a few office signs for
sense of direction was all it took for the Noir girl to breach the office of the general.
"I was right about the choice," Jean spoke. "I take it you want to know of how I was aware of
you?"
Her stoic, empty glare was all she can display.
"You're famous in the dark. A few friends have heard tales of this duo called 'Noir', the best
assassins on the block."
No response.
"I was aware of your friend's trip via Intel, which is why I decided on you only. I haven't a
clue that you were this excellent, which is why I knew I made the right choice for my death.
But tell me, I wish to know before I die: What is the spy after? Do you know?"
Kirika had no other choice. "Nothing. You're his entertainment."
The general exhales a sigh of relief. "Then how about this for my final act?"
Kirika found the time late that evening to perch herself on a bridge overlooking a river. As she
stares on into the pending sunset, a familiar voice rang out.
"Kirika?"
Mireille?, thought the assassin. This soon?
"I figured you'd be at the apartment. Did you get lonely?"
Kirika nodded.
"Assignment going good?"
She nodded again.
"My little trip wasn't any good. Just a bunch of lost, painful memories."
"I see." Kirika then drew her weapon at Mireille, who reeled back in horror.
"What the hell?"
"You're not the Mireille I know!"
"Yikes! What crawled in you and died?"
"You, spy!"
The perfect hologram fizzled out, revealing the spy from last night.
"You bastard," sobbed the Noir girl, cracking up. "Trying to trick me as my partner? What sick
game is this?"
"Let's just say I've become attached to you. You're quite a stir as my sources say, Miss Noir."
Kirika's face became intense in rage.
"I'm surprised myself that you know your friend well enough to see right through this perfect
disguise."
"It's too soon for her to return, plus she probably won't be this forward. Not if it's something
personal."
"My mistake, my dear. But I won't be making anymore."
"As do I!" Kirika fired a round, but the spy moved faster than she expected. She then found
him on the ledge opposite of the bridge. "Au revoir, mademoiselle." was all he said as he dove off backwards into the river without a soundly splash heard.
After arriving back at the apartment, Kirika threw her sidearm onto the pool table and
slammed herself onto the bed in disgust and humiliation. For vital seconds, in her mind, she
at the mercy of the spy, disguised as her only partner. She might've been killed. And she only
wanted Mireille and her alone to kill her when everything is clear.
This has to end before it gets more out of hand, and before the real Mireille Bouquet
arrives...
The Tea Party from The Other Side
Her normal stares out into the Paris scenery didn't ease the pent-up rage. She's too mad to
make tea, and the newly purchased sketchpad and paper (because tossing her first one was
a mistake, even though it was in honor of that unfortunate ex-soldier) only shows how anger
can really toss concentration out the window. Along with the pad itself. And the broken
pencil, which killed a passerby down below.
"Upset about something?" spoke a calm, quaint voice.
Kirika quickly aimed to the direction of the voice, but had to holster her weapon at the
familiar sight of lavender-colored hair, an off-center ponytail, and a long, black cloak.
"Chloe?" the amnesic asked.
She nodded in silence. And just to ensure that any of Kirika's doubts are false, the "true Noir"
decided to prick her finger. A drop of blood was all it took to ease the enraged assassin a tad
bit.
"I'm currently heading on a small trip, but I decided to stop by to repay you for the tea. I
take it you have something that is troublesome?"
Kirika looked away, still mad.
"How about I make the tea, and you can fill me in?"
"Aren't you on assignment?"
"I said I was on a trip. I didn't say it was for anyone's behalf. This will be of my volition.
Nothing more."
The tea was prepared with great care by Chloe, and the story thus far was explained in detail
over the tea.
"Even though you're deemed to be Noir, you still have obstacles to face. But this wasn't
expected of someone of your caliber, Kirika."
"Are you saying that I'm pathetic? 'Cause I can end it for you!"
"You're not the pathetic one. Those who kill or torture for their own amusement are pathetic
cowards. You, Kirika, aren't. I can tell."
Kirika grips her tea cup tighter.
"You kill to stay alive and to seek the answers to your questions. It can be tough, but think of
it this way: would someone who thinks she's Noir let some imbecile live to mock the very
existence of Noir? Remember, it is the name of an ancient fate. And you are now one of the
prophesied future maidens that govern Death."
"I guess I know. I don't want to be humiliated any further. But I'm so mad-!"
"Then tell me: Where is the spy's final act gonna be held?"
Jean has instructed Kirika that after a half hour of celebrations, food, and general casual talk
at a going-away party for his departure to post in the Middle East, he has a speech prepared.
It is when he plans to die, and when the spy might be close by observing him.
Kirika has Chloe in tow to calm her nerves. The skilled knife girl insisted that she will trap the
spy, so that Kirika will kill him herself. The Noir girl didn't even object to the idea. "After all,
we are destined to be the true Noir," remarked Chloe.
Kirika brushed it off as part of Chloe's strange talk. She has heard it before from the other tea
party with Mireille. She thought it was just her thing...whatever that meant.
A Good Spy Is A Dead One
Everything was set on both sides: A large auditorium with few marked exits was reserved and
the entire party was underway in hours, and both girls founded some strategic points as to
how the spy may infiltrate. The worse scenario was that the spy knew about the
assassination and may attempt it himself. Otherwise, he might just make the general more
paranoid than he could take.
The two arrived in the most believable clothes they could find, but they find it of strange and
eerie coincidence that Chloe's borrowed women's suit and Kirika's simple dress was to be the
center of attention. Chloe insisted that they went as long-lost sisters (as a cover), but the
crowd interpreted them as a gay couple. Chloe blushed, but Kirika became nervous.
One detail still rang in the back of Kirika's mind: The spy has the technology to basically
become anyone. It's how she was almost fooled when he portrayed her partner Mireille.
Chloe had one simple idea. "Remember the fork from our tea party?"
"Yes," replied Kirika. "What about it?"
The purple-haired girl produces a small olive fork from the inside pocket of the suit's blazer.
She then randomly poked a man dancing with another woman. The man jumped, and quickly
turned. Chloe hid the fork before the man caught a glimpse of it. That demonstration calmed
the remaining doubts inside Kirika.
An master of ceremonies announced the beginning of the speech. It's getting close to
execute the assassination. But the spy was not found yet.
The general steps up to a wooden podium, lit up by a lone spotlight. He pulled out index
cards and started to read off them.
"Ladies, gentlemen, fellow comrades," he began. "I am more than honored to be trained by
the best, so that one day I will serve this country in times of need."
Here, the girls went to a center point in the auditorium. Not one hint of suspicious activity
was sighted.
"We are at war with an enemy who wished to rid the world of religious infidels by
constructing lethal weapons and terrorizing various nations, including America."
Kirika place her hand in a concealed pocket, which housed her silenced pistol.
"I wish to teach the man that his ideas are foolish, and that violence is never the answer!
But..."
Another quick check turned up nothing still.
"I won't get that chance."
The crowd was confused.
"I am already targeted by a lone wolf. One who feeds off the confusion and paranoid and
even blood."
One woman uttered, "What nonsense is he talking about?"
Kirika knows. The spy.
"I do not know why he would do this, but I know this. He is nothing compared to several
brave souls I hear about."
Chloe was a bit thrown off. But she did regain concentration just to see one busboy
attempting to inch to a door to the right of the podium. She makes her way without setting
off any attention.
"One of these brave souls will set me free. I bid you all farewell." He closed his eyes, as a
silent cue to Kirika, who aims and fires with dead accuracy, all without removing her weapon
from the pocket and without scathing anyone else.
As soon as the soldier started to drop, the busboy ran out the door, Chloe giving chase and
closing the gap between them. One toss of a concealed knife shorted the hologram, and
several more pins the spy to the ground.
Kirika makes her way outside without being sighted. She then eyed the situation and
approached the spy, gun now drawn.
"It figures," spoke the spy. "But I haven't anticipated that you'd pull the trigger or this lady
helping you out."
"You just made one too many mistakes. Bullying Noir was your first."
"And for all that, I must be honored."
"You're just a bored spy with nothing to do. Why should you feel honored?"
"That I'm being killed by the infamous Noir."
"So you made this entire ordeal just for me to kill you?"
"To meet you, and to see you with my own eyes."
"What a psychopath," commented Chloe.
"You've got quite a gift," continued the spy. "You're a very lovely girl."
"And you're a sadistic bastard, who the general asks to be shot as his final wish."
"Oh, the poor little bastard said that? Well, c'est la vie. I should thank him in hell."
Kirika then shouted "Enough!" and pulled the trigger, silencing the crazed spy forever. The
two left as sirens was heard in the distance, but not before planting the pistol on the corpse.
Chloe went on her way, sadly before Kirika could even thank her. But the Noir girl was finally
relieved. The general can rest in peace, now that the threat to his life is now gone. And Kirika
was able to maintain that long, deep-seeded reputation of the name Noir. Now all there is to
do is to watch out the window, awaiting Mireille's return from Corsica...
The End!