Hi! This is my first Ereri fic! I hope you like it :) oh, and I highly suggest you listen to Moondust by Jaymes Young when reading this :)
I am not happy to be here, to say the least.
I'm going to kick that woman's ass.
Hanji had practically dragged me here to this stupid bar for 'Talent Night.' Oh, how I hate these events. Just a bunch of talentless brats who want to be "noticed" for their amazing "talent." Oh, hate is certainly an understatement for what I'm feeling.
I just want to go back home where I can sit in silence and enjoy the very expensive bottle of wine I bought yesterday. Oh, that definitely sounds much better than listening to these brats.
So far, not one musician, if you can even call them that, has sounded even remotely appealing.
"Levi, stop it with that sour look. They aren't that bad. Besides, you are going to be blown away by the last person who performs. He's amazing, and he's quite cute. He certainly has a nice ass." Hanji winked.
"Jesus Christ, Hanji. You're going to scare everyone with that disturbing look you have on that ugly face of yours. I highly doubt this brat is going to be any better than the shit we've been listening to for the past hour."
"Levi, just be patient. It'll be worth it."
"Oh, this kid better be worth. I just hope he gets his grubby ass on stage soon. I don't think I can stand listening to these talentless shits any longer."
Thankfully, a few minutes later, the kid comes on stage. Oh, and he certainly is cute with messy brown hair, and turquoise eyes that practically shine.
The kid bends over to get his guitar from its case, and boy, is it a nice view. Hanji was right, this kid has a really nice ass. Okay, he really needs to start playing before I go up and sexually harass him.
The boy looks over the crowd, almost like he's searching for someone. His eyes land on me, and our eyes lock. Then he smiles, teeth and all, and it makes my heart skip a beat. Somehow, this boy looks familiar. I feel like I've seen him before. I feel like I've looked into those eyes before. The nagging voice in my head won't go away, and it's irritating. The feeling only gets worse when he starts to sing.
I'm building this house
On the moon
Like a lost astronaut
Looking at you, like a star
From the place the world forgot
And there's nothing that I can do
Except bury my love for you
The boy is looking at me while he pours out the lyrics. And the feeling only becomes stronger.
The brightness of the sun
Will give me just enough
To bury my love
In the moondust
I long to hear your voice
But still I make the choice
To bury my love
In the moondust
Why does this boy look so familiar? Why do I feel like I know him? Why do I feel like this song is somehow important?
Nothing can breath
In the space
Colder than the darkest sea
I have dreams about the days
Driving through your sunset breeze
But the first thing that I will do
Is bury my love for you
He's been looking at me throughout the whole song. It's like his eyes are telling me something. His eyes are looking at me with a special kind of warmth. But I can't figure out why.
The brightness of the sun
Will give me just enough
To bury my love
In the moondust
I long to hear your voice
But still I make the choice
To bury my love
In the moondust
I'm a cast away
And men reap what they sow
And I say what I know
To be true
Yeah
I'm living far away, on the face of the moon
I've buried my love to give the world to you
The brightness of the sun
Will give me just enough
To bury my love
In the moondust
I long to hear your voice
But still I make the choice
To bury my love
In the moondust
I've buried my love, in the moondust.
Yeah
The song ends, and the boy is still looking at me, but he's crying. Why is he crying? Did I make him cry? But how would I do that when I don't even know him? He must know something I don't because the nagging feeling is still there, and it's overwhelming. It's getting stronger the longer I look at him. My eyes are wide, and my head is starting to pound. What is causing this? Why am I feeling this? The boy must be able to tell something is happening because he is rushing off the stage and running over to me.
"I'm sorry, Levi. I never wanted this to happen." More tears run down his face.
Why does he know my name? Why is he apologizing?
"Levi, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please. Why couldn't I have just stayed away? It would have been better! And this? This never would have happened! I'm sorry, Levi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." The boy keeps apologizing. Why can't he just stop?
"Brat stop apologizing! I have no clue what you're talking about! I don't even know your name! All I know is that I feel like I know you from somewhere. How do I know you?" I demand, shaking his shoulders.
"I can't-"
"Brat! Answer me, goddammit! Why the hell are you apologizing to me?"
"Levi, I can't! If you were to remember all those horrible things, your mind wouldn't be able to take it, and you would have a mental breakdown, and I don't want that to happen to you. I would rather you not remember me at all, then for your brain to become mush!" Eren yelled, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"But why do you care so much? I don't even know you."
"Levi, it isn't a matter of whether you know me or not because I know you. I have known you for a while. I know about your history, I know your favorite color, I know where you're ticklish, I know everything about you. You may never know me in this lifetime, or any more lifetimes, but I will know you, and I will know you in every time you are reborn in. But I can't ever talk, or love you because it will destroy you. It will destroy both of us. So, it is better for you to not know who I am, and it is better for you to not try to remember anything about me or your past lives."
My head is pounding. The feeling growing stronger by the second. Why can't I remember anything? What could be so bad to actually destroy me? Why does this boy care for me so much?
Suddenly, a name pops into my head. Eren. Is that this boy's name?
"Eren. Is that your name?"
The boy's eyes widen.
"Yes, it is. But, Levi, please don't try to remember anything else. Please, Levi."
Then Eren is gone.
"Levi! Can you hear me? Levi! Don't leave me, Levi. We just reclaimed Wall Maria. We did it, Levi. You can't go. Not until we kill all the titans. You have to grow old, Levi. With me. Then we can die together. You can't...not yet. Please…Levi."
Images flash through my mind. Words rush through my head. Blood is everywhere. On my face, on my hands. So many people: dead. All because of those creatures; the Titans.
Then Eren. All of our interactions barraged into my head. Every kiss. Every touch. It was overwhelming. All of this information was overwhelming me.
My head is pounding, and there is a dull ringing in my ears. My hands lift up to cradle my head, and then I'm screaming. I feel tears rushing down my face. It's too much. I can't handle it. I just want to die. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I don't want to see all of the bloodshed. I don't want to see my comrades die. I don't want to see it all over again. But I will never escape it. I will be reborn again and again, and I will experience the same pain again and again. But even temporary relief is enough for me.
Eren, I love you, and I'm sorry.