YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN: The Users Manual and Guide, a gundam seed fanfic

YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN: The Owners Guide and Maintenance Manuel

Sincerest congratulations! You have now become the proud owner of the least wanted, incest-obsessed, dirty-as-a-dog-with-no-hair, uselessly stupid YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN unit! In order to assure you that he is put to full use, please read this manual.

Basic Information

Name: YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN

Manufacturing Date: DISCLOSED

Place of Manufacturing: ORB Union, Idiot division

Genetic Type: Natural/Super Idiot

Height: DISCLOSED

Weight: Quite heavy

Your MEER CAMPBELL unit will come with the following accessories:

(1) Standard issue maroon coloured ORB representative clothes

(1) White coloured suit

(1) Dunce Cap

You must be warned, NOT A SINGLE PAIR OF CLOTHES SUIT YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN. He will wear ANYTHING and make it look bad, even clothes that make DJIBRIL units look okay will make YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN look bad. So please, DON'T make him wear anything aside of the purple ORB representative clothes.

Programming:

Your YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN has two genetic types. SUPER IDIOT and NATURAL. He comes with four programming functions.

Pedophile: Have you been assigned a paper on how pedophiles behave with younger people? Do you wonder what pedophiles are like with their much younger (and better looking) cousins? YUUNA is the perfect for this job! Just place his much younger cousin before him and watch as he tries to marry her. WARNING: This is only affective if a KIRA YAMATO (© DESTINY) is not around.

Idiot: This, being his primary function, is necessary to be put to use every so often, or YUUNA's head will burst. He must do something stupid, and must go and cause the utter explosion of an entire nation, or you will find YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN in a million pieces.

Punching Bag: Feel pissed off? Have some excess anger from your so-called fiancé running off with an ugly girl with pigtails? Worry not, YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN is here! You can punch him in the gut, sack him a couple of times, and even squish him under the wheel of a car. He WILL NOT DIE! A godly miracle has made him immune to all but a couple of deadly things. So enjoy punching him to bits.

FLAY ALLSTER replacement: Have you wanted to have a FLAY ALLSTER? With the same 'I'm-gonna-steal-someone-else's-lover' personality, these two units are practically the same! They could even be related (we'll never know). So use him to replace a FLAY ALLSTER unit, and watch the drama unfold!

Metal-head: Recently seen a SLIPKNOT video and wanted a re-enactment in your bedroom? Just ask YUUNA to go find his SCARY mask and watch him imitate them! The accurate actions and non-accurate singing are all part of the METAL-HEAD pack (rock-star clothes sold separately).

Your YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN has (4) different settings:

Moron (default)

Jealous/Angry

Romantic (locked)

Leader (level 2 lock)

The Romantic setting is under a lock, because it tends to scare away customers. To see that side of his personality (if you're really desperate for a man), just tell him you're the ruler of ORB and that your husband will be able to be King with you.

Unit Interactions:

CAGALLI YULA ATTHA (© DESTINY): Least compatible unit with yours. This unit will pummel yours to a pulp, and your unit may have incest-feelings for her. He will try to marry her, so it is RECOMMENDED you keep them far away from each other, unless you want a KIRA YAMATO (© DESTINY) to kill the YUUNA unit.

ATHRUN ZALA (© DESTINY): Though not much testing has been done between these two units, the ATHRUN unit will try to murder your unit for even thinking of touching his CAGALLI unit. It is recommended you don't let them interact without a CAGALLI YULA ATTHA (© DESTINY) unit to stop any fights.

KIRA YAMATO (© DESTINY): The KIRA YAMATO (© DESTINY) will kidnap the YUUNA's fiancée/cousin and save her from a horrible marriage to your YUUNA. It is recommended they don't meet, ever again.

DJIBRIL: These two units will scheme to work together and ruin the world. It will cause a lot of trouble and it is also recommended they don't meet.

THE GREAT GOOF: Now this, this is the most compatible unit with your YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN. In order to assure they meet, have YUUNA see the STRIKE FREEDOM in battle and try to run away. The GREAT GOOF will fall on YUUNA and, believe me, we'll all be in-debt to the GREAT GOOF, because it has saved us all from YUUNA. The manufacturer is not liable for damage to your YUUNA upon meeting the GREAT GOOF, but look at the bright side, the GREAT GOOF graced your doorstep. WARNING: The GREAT GOOF is limited time only, and is greatly praised at ANTI-YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN shrines. You might want to treat it kindly and offer it some tea.

Cleaning:

YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN can't be cleaned. No, don't try. He'll get dirty even if you leave him in a sparkling clean room.

Energy:

YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN will only eat fancy food, such as escargot. Don't let him have anything that isn't fancy or he'll throw a hissy fit.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN fell in love with my neighbours CAGALLI YULA ATTHA. But there's the problem. She's not the DESTINY version and I don't know what to do. She's still in love with KIRA YAMATO because the FLAY ALLSTER unit didn't get between them!

A: I'm… not really sure what to do. Just, try and tell him that she's a teenager who will kill him. Or, even go ahead and buy a CAGALLI YULA ATTHA (© DESTINY) to attract him away. Other than that, you're doomed. The original CAGALLI YULA ATTHA will probably pummel him for touching her.

Q: My YUUNA thinks he's a ducky who flies around in circles.

A: Just tap him on the head and tell him he's a moron who thinks he can rule a country. That should make him go back to being his usual purple haired self.

Q: MY YUUNA GOT A HAIRCUT AND NOW HE HAS A MOHAWK!

A: Wh-wh-what the? Okay… I don't know how to address this. DID YOU SEND HIM OFF WITH A LUNAMARIA HAWK? She tends to like ruining people like that, ever since our SHINN ASUKA units went off with the STELLAR LOUSSIER units.

Q: yo im a gansta an i wanna make my YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN du da rap like i do. but he just dun like ma t pain music an keeps whining about wanna be a leada

A: Uhh. Mister Gangster, it's kind of hard to understand what that means. Maybe YOU should go and find a manual for yourself before seeing us about YUUNA.

Troubleshooting:

Answer: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?! Well, if you do, uh… just, go and... get your CAGALLI drunk. She should think he's ATHRUN ZALA (© DESTINY) and... urr, eventually have babies? I can't believe you'd even ask this.

Question: My YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN has a thing for looking nerdy. With, like, glasses and pants up to his chest. I'm worried he's going insane.

Answer: Ahem, I'm sorry. We seem to have mixed in some of the 'CHILDHOOD YUUNA' genes. He used to dress like that as a kid. We've decided you'll just have to teach him to dress normally. We don't have the money to accept back the millions of YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN models.

So, with the meeting of the GREAT SAVIOUR, your YUUNA ROMA SEIRAN should hopefully die. We'll pray for you and whoever else wanted that stupid model we never intended to create. Good luck looking after it 3.