Being insignificant was a trait I always identified with. When I felt significant, it never really lasted very long. Sort of like running down a hill, you are filled with elation. Then when you reach the bottom, the rush disappears, and everthing is back to how you remebered it before. Memories of happiness and significance are shattered on the ground and cut your foot each time you take a step.
Each day, I remember him. Each day, there is a memory of him. Each day, I see something that reminds me of him. His name was Itachi Uchiha. Known for the infamous act of killing the entirety of his own clan. Some call him a "blood thirsty", "loathing", "awful", "murderous" man. However, this was not the Itachi I knew.
Anyone who makes judgments towards my previous statement-be patient. My story is long and detailed. Itachi doesn't come into play right away. This is not all about Itachi, either. It is also my tale. So you do not make judgments upon myself. Only if you listen to what I have to say, will you understand. To really make any conclusions, hear the story from someone who knows and witnessed.
Things are not always what they seem.
My mother was killed, in probably one of the most horrible ways; however that was the risk of being a shinobi. No one really was expecting the murderer to be my father. They don't even know if it was him. As it turned out, 'he'went on a mass killing spree. Just because. No one ever had a theory as to why (I was never told). This event, which followed Sasuke Uchiha's decision to leave, stirred up Lady Tsunade, and I heard conspiricies about my father and Orochimaru. Which seemed extremely far fetched. As if Sasuke's running away and my mothers death were somehow both apart of the same plan. They don't even know if it was my biological dad, or not.
Lady Tsunade, concerned for my safety, sent me away.
"You're leaving Jinsune?"
"Yeah...I hope the Sand Village won't be as horrible and depressing as it seems. I have had enough of that going on, even here in the Leaf. I am sorry, Shikamaru." I explained sincerely, looking into his dark eyes of sympathy.
"Well, I am sorry about all the crap you've been through," he said, "You're a strong person, and if you need any help with training in the Sand, talk to Temari."
"Okay, I'll make sure to remember that. Thank you for everything Shikamaru." I walked up and embraced him. My tears were struggling to restrain themselves. I wouldn't be seeing my lazy, cloud-watching buddy for who knows how long. It tore me apart to think that.
"Be strong. I know you are." Shikamaru smiled, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Thank you..." I bit my lip as my voice cracked, and my eyes shifted towards my feet as he removed his arm, putting it back in his pocket with his usual slouched position.
He was the only person besides Naruto to say good-bye to me.
"Hey! Jinsune! Heard you're leaving us, to do some training!" The energetic ninja exclaimed in excitement for me.
I rocked on my heels, avoiding eye contact with the always smiling blond.
"Yes. I am."
He scratched his headband in confusion. "You don't seem very excited Jinsune. Something wrong?" Of course, he didn't understand. With all the energy and motivation he had, it was hard for him to comprehend my apathy and cynical attitude.
I shook my head, and thought of what I was going to eat before I left, and what I was going to pack. Then I remembered I already had done all of those things. The fear of leaving what I was used to, grew in the pit of my stomach and I felt as if I was going to vomit all of my anxiety.
"No. Thank you for asking."
Naruto pouted. "Well, I think you're lying, but if you don't want to talk about it, I understand. Hug?" I embraced Naruto as well. My throat closed, and I felt my head surge with pain and my lips convulse in melancholy.
"Thank you Naruto. You're a sweet person. Keep smiling okay?"
Naruto held a thumbs up and a big grin. "You betcha! Believe it!" I giggled at his cheesy catchphrase.
I sighed, "Don't you ever change. You are a wonderful human being." I turned my back, and waved good bye to my two remaining real friends, and looked back at the village that was once my home. The trees green, almost all year, and the Great Hokage Faces carved into the mountain. The sereneness and quaint feeling of the Leaf was only going to be tucked in my memory.
I was going to miss them dearly. But life moves on. And they would too, without me.
Kakashi stood at the entrance of the gate, with his typical vacant expression, and his porno book in hand. I sighed, looking up at the sky, making the tears in my eyes seep back into their home.
"You ready to go?" I nodded, and I didn't bother looking back back again. Even with the voices of my friends bidding me farewell. They were to become a memory, too.
We walked side by side, and I would occasionally be in my own world and forget Kakashi was even there with me. He didn't seem to care much that I was leaving. He hadn't even said a word to me. He didn't even try. Ever since he found out the truth about how he was the father of my mothers child, he never treated me the same. I was suddenly a stranger to him, within seconds of this discovery.
The birds were so lovely sounding, and I wandered deep into the shadowed depths of my conscious mind.
I wondered why I couldn't live the simple life of a small animal. Life would be short, and I would be naive and happy. All I really wanted to be in that moment, was dead. It seemed so peaceful. Oh, how I envied my mother...
The awkwardness between Kakashi and I killed me. What was once walks filled with laughter, was now gone. It was just walks with the pounding of our footsteps on the ground below us, and the occassional scatter of a rock dancing at our toes. The trees whistled with their leaves, and it disturbed me to think I wouldn't be hearing it anymore, as I was going to the Land of Wind, where the ground is naked, and the music of nature was nonexistent.
The first night of travel, we settled at small clearing near a stream Pakkun, Kakashi's dog sniffed out. I sent my Panther, Hyoubara, to assist Pakkun. The katydids sang their usual nighttime melodies to one another, and before it would have annoyed the hell out of me. But in that moment I found it absolutely beautiful.
Kakashi sat opposite of me, not saying a word. My eyes narrowed at the masked ninja , while his eyes were directed towards the flames. The flames hid the emotion in his eyes. All of it. I felt my own emotions slipping from my grasp, like a bar of soap. My anger was screaming to be released, and so it did as it well pleased. Standing up, and slamming down my bag, I screamed,
"DO YOU EVEN CARE!? AREN'T YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST UPSET?! OF COURSE NOT!" Shooting his head up towards my face, in a loss of words, his gaze darkened, and averted his eyes away, and a brief silence of crickets fell over us.
"How dare you. " He whispered. My tears starting to run down my cheeks once again at his voice that was dripping with vexation. "How dare you, accuse me of not caring. You are a FOOL if you do not think that I care. Jinsune, Your mother was all I had left! All I had left to make me smile-that made me happy- and to find out she was pregnant with MY child..." I heard him choke at the last statement, and I began to let the tears flow heavier from my eyes.
Suddenly, Kakashi stood up, and much to my surprise, walked towards me. Becoming nervous as he towered over me, I whimpered "I-I, I am sorry..." I breathed unsteadily, and let out a sob, cupping my head in my hands. Kakashi slowly and gently hugged me. I buried my tear stained face into his vest. As I cursed, and wailed for my mother and the scenario, he only squeezed me tighter.
"I'll protect you with my life. I failed Rima." Kakashi beginning to cry I thought too, but I saw no tears.
"She'd yell at you for saying something as silly as that Kakashi."
"Maybe." He sighed, and pulled away from me, staring into my eyes. "You are leaving the Leaf under my request."
I gasped. "Wh-what?"
"I promised myself to keep you safe. And no matter how far you must go, I will get you there...away from.. him."
"Who is HIM?" I asked.
"A man who clearly wants to make my life more miserable. I wish not to speak of it anymore. Now, you are all I have, all I have left of your mom. I am determined to make sure you are safe. I helped raise you, clothe you, feed you...I did it all, because I loved your mom, and I grew to love you." My eyes went wide, and I hugged him once again, saying,
"Kakashi, thank you for being my dad...I don't want to leave you...or anyone."