June 18, 1978
I know I scared Mum and Dad with my constant "I need a new diary NOW" as soon as I got off the train.
James proposed. He actually PROPOSED. There was the graduation ceremony and then he took my hand and led me back up to the common room even though we were supposed to be going back to Hogsmeade, saying he wouldn't let me go without asking this. And he had a ring. I'd wondered if he was thinking about this but I couldn't imagine he'd been THINKING about this. I was shocked but I'd been expecting it but I hadn't and I said yes. Actually, I think I was too busy crying to say a clear "yes", but I hugged him and kissed him and I'm wearing the ring, so that constitutes a "yes", right?
Did I even actually say "yes"? I know I meant to.
I am wearing the ring. I'm amazed he HAD a ring, which makes me wonder a couple things, such as how LONG he was thinking about this. James must have told his friends that he was going to do this (of course) because as soon as we saw them, Sirius said, "You said yes? What were you thinking?" I haven't told my parents yet, and I really don't want to yet. I know there will be problems with it. But I am kind of hoping they notice the engagement ring so I don't have to announce it.
I am getting married. I'M GETTING MARRIED.
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June 19, 1978
I miss James. He's at home with his parents and Sirius, and I'm here. He's my fiance and we're not together. Maybe I'll Apparate over later. I'm all right doing that distance.
No one has noticed the ring. I don't want to have the fight that I know will happen, but I want them to know. I want to tell someone. I haven't even told Jane yet because I know she'll yell at me. She'd agree to be my maid of honor, though.
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June 20, 1978
I popped in to see James, who was very glad to see me. We've agreed to tell our families. We'll do it together so no one has to deal with an argument alone. We'll start with my parents tonight (!!!) and then his tomorrow before we got looking for our own flat. I questioned this, but I think he knows his parents won't argue with him on his birthday. I don't think they would take issue with it, though, or I didn't until James explained that he has to explain the ring. I'm not asking.
This won't go well. Dad had a pretty good reaction to the news that James and I are moving in together, but Mum didn't. She'll be upset and tell me I'm too young and try to talk me out of it. Eventually she'll say something to rile me and I'll explode and she will take that as a sign that she's right.Maybe we'll elope.
...later...
It did not go well. It could have gone worse, though. Everything I said about my mum was spot on, except she did demand to know whether or not I'm pregnant. I should have expected that. My dad listened to her rant and rave, and then told her he's never had a reason to question my decisions, and congratulated us. He had a talk with James later, and now James is acting a bit funny. I'll assume threats were made. Mum is still angry with me. I'm not exactly sure why. I won't be some child bride who doesn't know what she's getting into. She was married at nineteen and had two children by 23, and it's worked out for her.
I brought up the idea of eloping to James, who said we could go right then. I had to back out very quickly. I've been planning my wedding since I was four. I'm going to have it.
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June 21, 1978James' parents seem all right about the engagement. I think they knew it was coming. Considering our age and the timing, it seems like the only one that was surprised was my mother.
We had no real luck in finding a place. I think James is spoiled. I haven't seen him deal with money before, but he doesn't look at what the rent will be. If I ask him, he says we can afford it and that's all there is to it. That's all very well and good, but we shouldn't be spending money just because we can. He doesn't exactly throw it around, but he doesn't think about it. I must introduce him to this concept.
He didn't want to do anything elaborate for his birthday (a party at anyone's house is out of the question) so we went out with his friends after all the things we had to do. I've come to terms with the two Jameses. There's who he is when he's with me, and then there's the one his friends get to see. I think the line is blurring, though. I don't see such a difference in the two anymore. I don't know if it's a change in him or a change in the way I see him.
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June 22, 1978
More flat hunting (entirely pointless, by the way), followed by an Order meeting that we were suddenly called to. I should have expected to see all of James' friends there, really. The five of us are the newest members, so the meeting was basically for Dumbledore to fill us in on everything. They're doing some amazing things. The Aurors and such are against Voldemort, it's not as if the Ministry hasn't taken an active stand against him, but the Order is doing things the Ministry won't. One of the people involved, Moody, actually is an Auror who's helping us. I don't know a lot of people, though I met Gideon Prewett at New Year's and of course there's McGonagall and Hagrid (which I hadn't been expecting). I haven't felt this NEW since I was a first year. We're the youngest of the group by at least seven years (I don't know anyone from Hogwarts), and I think we look very young and naive, which we are.
Somehow I'm even more excited about this. I was in a room full of people who are so opposed to Voldemort that they're willing to risk their lives for the cause, and they are making progress. I really believe we can make a difference, and that makes it worth the risk.
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June 23, 1978
I wonder if it's strange to go from an Order meeting, knowing what can happen to us, to looking for a flat with James and trying to set a wedding date.
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June 24, 1978
I told Jane and Anne today. Anne has named our children (Bob and Matilda, I hope she's joking) and Jane reacted exactly as I expected her to. Even the maid of honor part. I am good.
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June 25, 1978
I think we've found a place. Sirius actually found it while he was looking for his own flat. It didn't suit him but he contacted James and had us rush over. It's perfect. One bedroom in London, not that far from Diagon Alley, actually. It isn't next door, but it's close enough that I would feel silly Apparating. It's affordable (I said that, not James) and I love it. I don't think James loves it as much as I do, but I think I love it enough that he won't fight me on it. I've been making excited squeaking noises all day.
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June 26, 1978
My NEWT scores have come back. I'm not brilliant, but they'll only keep me from the jobs I never had an interest in anyway. I didn't do as well as I had expected, but I got all passing grades.
Caradoc (one of the Order members) wrote me to tell me all about the open positions at the Ministry. I'll assume these are the positions I'd be most needed for.
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June 28, 1978
James has an interview for Auror training. He's shocked at how fast it is, but I wouldn't be surprised if Moody had something to do with it. He's a little scary, but I think he actually likes James.I've been packing up boxes of my things to be moved over to the new place. We're going furniture shopping first, and then filling our flat with all our things. Mum seems really upset to see me go. If she could cry the whole day of Petunia's wedding, I can't say I'm surprised.
...later...
Another Order meeting tonight. I got to meet Alice, whose husband was there last time. She and Frank are both Aurors. Alice seems to have kind of adopted me, as I am the youngest of only six women (that I know of so far). We're a bit outnumbered, but I seem to be in a good group. Frank and Alice have actually FOUGHT Voldemort and are still around to tell the tale. Others have had to fight Death Eaters, but...
I'm not that great at dueling. I did well in DADA lessons, but this worries me a bit.
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June 29, 1978
Mum told me she doesn't want me to go. Parents should not be allowed to do that. It doesn't change anything. All it does is make me cry and feel rotten about leaving and make me miss her.
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June 30, 1978
James had his interview today. He says it went pretty well. I'm sure it did. He can make a brilliant first impression when he wants to. We'll see.
...later...
I am NEVER going furniture shopping with the boys again. I'm a bright girl, how did this not occur to me before?
James and I went looking for a bedroom set, since if we found something we could have it delivered as of tomorrow. Sirius wanted to look for some things for himself, so he came with us. I have no idea how poor Remus ended up getting dragged along, but every once in a while I'd catch him making this face that said he would rather be anywhere else. Sirius and James ignored him, so I'll guess they're used to seeing it.
There are times I wonder if Sirius isn't twelve. We went to a few stores and he made really immature comments the whole time we were looking at bedroom furniture. (Ever wonder why you're lacking a girlfriend, Sirius?) Then somehow we're looking at sofas. We don't have a bed yet, but we've found a sofa. All right, I found a sofa. James wanders around for a while, then sits down somewhere and looks really bewildered. I don't think you can call that shopping. The sofa will be delivered on the 2nd, and one of us has to be there at that time.
Lucky for us, Sirius decided our new sofa is suitable because it has enough "squish."
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July 1, 1978
I have picked up the keys to our new flat, and Dad helped me move some things over already. It doesn't look like home yet, but my room is looking a lot less like it.
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July 2, 1978
I am sitting on a sofa that James and I bought. We have a piece of furniture. Sirius is right, it is squishy.
-----July 3, 1978
I can go from my flat, with my sofa and James, and then come back to my parents' house to sleep and I feel like I'm ten years old again.-----
July 4, 1978
Mum has agreed to go shopping with me so James' poor eyes don't have to glaze over. I need a bed in the flat so we can sleep there. It doesn't feel like I live there if I visit my one piece of furniture and then go somewhere else to sleep. The rest can wait.
...later...
We have a bed! It's being delivered tomorrow! I'm far too excited about this.
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July 5, 1978
Where's my bed? I want my bed....later...
The delivery people forgot to make a stop. One more night in my parents' house. It's a little strange knowing this is my last night in this bed, in this house, especially since I just went through this when I left Hogwarts.
And I'd like to be able to sleep in my own flat, in my own bed, with my boyfriend. Fiance. I'll get used to that.
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July 6, 1978
The fireplace has been connected to the Floo Network and we have a phone.However, still no bed. I called the store and yelled at them, and then James took the phone from me and started yelling at them. It should be delivered tomorrow. I'm losing faith in them.
I just got an owl from the Ministry asking me to come in for an interview tomorrow for one of the positions I applied for. Ooh.
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July 7, 1978
I was offered the position at the interview. I have a job! Now I need furniture and a wedding date!
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July 8, 1978
I asked James to show me his Animagus form. I was curious. And considering we have no furniture in the flat for a large stag to break...
It's WEIRD. Very, very weird. There's an animal here, and it's JAMES. I've seen Sirius switch forms several times, but that almost seems normal. You can really think of him just as a dog. I saw Peter do it once, but he's so small you kind of forget he's around. That's not possible when there's a stag in your home. I don't see a lot of reasons for James to have to change like that, though. I can't think of a reason off the top of my head, anyway, though I'm sure he could come up with one.
Weird.
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July 10, 1978
I have spent the last few days working, moving things after work, and going looking for more things for the flat. I am so unbelievably tired.
Work is all right. I'm working for Andrew Wilkes, who is an administrative something or other in the International Relations department. I'm actually not sure, I answer his letters and arrange his meetings and write his correspondence. It is a little strange to see Alice and Moody in the halls and pretend I've never seen them in my life.
James still hasn't heard about his interview, and it's driving him mad. He's bored, and bad things happen when he's bored. He's so far been moving my things and his into the flat, and (deep breath) shopping. James does not shop. He buys things. He gets it into his head that we should have something and then he buys it (as long as there aren't TOO many choices because then it's like the sofa all over again). And if we don't need it, well, it's only money. What's worse is that he's not well-versed in Muggle money but likes the stores (or at least goes there because he knows the way) and I think I need to teach him a little about that.
Oh, and we still don't have a bed. We canceled the order and will go again tomorrow evening to find something. I've FORBIDDEN him to go without me.
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July 13, 1978
Do you know what's nice? Having a bed. Having a bed that James rented a truck to pick up so we could be sure we received it. Being able to sleep in that bed with James, or anything else with James without having to sneak around or feel guilty. Because both of our names are on the lease.
I forgot how badly he snores. And he's in the shower even though I'm the one who needs to be at work. That's it, I'm going in after him.
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July 15, 1978
I've gone from mild indifference for my boss to intense hatred for a very silly reason. He calls me "Lils." Jane can get away with "Lil" and I don't kill her for it. My dad used to call me "Lillikins" until he said it in front of my class back in primary school and I had to ask him to stop because I was a big girl. But "Lils"??? No.
James doesn't see why this bothers me. Even though he HATES being called anything but James. He has the same issue, the hypocrite.
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July 16, 1978
James was accepted into Auror training! He hasn't stopped smiling all day.-----
July 18, 1978
I have to kill him. I have no choice in the matter. The snoring. It's just. It woke me up last night and I kept thinking about how long I would have to hold a pillow over his face to stop the noise but not suffocate him.
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July 20, 1978
After much deliberation, it's been decided.
December 30, 1978
It's THE DATE. It has been set.
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July 24, 1978
I haven't been discussing Order work much, but I don't want to write down details. This isn't as bad as Hogwarts, where anyone could get their hands on my diary, but I'd still rather be cautious about certain things. James has gone out to do some sort of work for them already, and I got my bombshell. I'm working for a suspected Death Eater. I chose what to apply for, but I can't help
I don't know. I chose from a lot of open positions from a list that was given to me. This kind of thing is what I joined the Order to do, yes, but I wonder if I'd have taken this job if I had found it myself. Would I have gone to work for a Death Eater without knowing it? Have I helped him do anything? Anyway, I have to keep track of his schedule, report back with information, that sort of thing. I hate that it feels dishonest. And then I remember "Lils" and I don't feel that badly about it.
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July 27, 1978
The Boss started screaming at me in the office because I got back from lunch later than he expected. I left at 12:15 because I was working on a project for him, and so I ended up keeping Anne waiting. I get an hour lunch and I took an hour lunch. Usually I will loudly stand up for myself in situations like that, but I was at work and wanted to be professional. I made my case and assertively stood my ground. Still, I really wanted to make him sprout a tail.-----
July 29, 1978
Housewarming party tonight. It'll be fairly small, just James' friends, his parents and mine, Anne and Jane, but I'm still trying to make everything just right. I want everyone to see how adult we can be, and prove that we're not just playing house. I did invite Petunia and the walrus, but they're not coming. I didn't think they would.
I have to confess something. I'm nervous about James knowing about this diary. I'm just afraid he will want to read it if he knows about it, and I am living with one of the greatest pranksters to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts. He finds ways. So I only write when he's not around and I hide this book. There's nothing even that interesting about my thoughts, but I want them to stay mine.
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July 30, 1978
We throw good parties. It was the first meeting of my parents and James'. And everyone (Sirius) was surprisingly well-behaved. We also announced the wedding date, which I think was a bit of a shock for some people. I don't think Anne and Jane, for one, thought I'd actually do it, or at least not before the end of the year. I'm just tired of waiting for things that will make me happy when I'm spying on possible Death Eaters.
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August 2, 1978
I really do feel like a spy. I'm like Emma Peel, only in my dreams. I got to do reconnaissance and procurement (according to Benjy, but he can be a bit dramatic) for the Order within the Ministry. That kind of thing makes me wonder if this is really happening. I'm not supposed to be doing this kind of thing because I really am not Emma Peel.
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August 4, 1978
I asked Petunia to be a bridesmaid because I feel I have to, because I'd like to have a sister who wants to see me get married, and because James has his best man and two ushers and I need another bridesmaid. I had to actually talk her into it over the phone. Mum had better be proud of me.
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Lily Evans
Lily Potter
Lily Evans Potter
Mrs. Lily Potter
Mr. & Mrs. James and Lily Potter
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August 8, 1978
James found my diary. He swears he only read the first paragraph on the first page because he didn't know what it was. Now he keeps asking if I'm saying anything flattering about him and whether he can read it. I don't think he'd do it without my permission, though. At least not if he actually wants to get married.
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August 10, 1978
It's confirmed. The Boss is a Death Eater. I know I'm not in danger at all, but I was still nervous walking into work. I'm not supposed to sabotage anything, just go along with the job and pass on the information and the Order will go from there, but I feel guilty doing my job now, because I have no idea what I'm assisting.
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August 12, 1978
We just finished moving, and now we're helping to move. Sirius found a place not too far away, and he's moving Remus in with him. Remus has had a REALLY hard time finding a job (which is horribly unfair because he's a very good wizard) and I think Sirius knows Remus doesn't have a lot of options. I'd say it's the nicest thing I've ever seen Sirius do, but they'll all do anything for each other. Three of them became Animagi illegally to keep their fourth company as a werewolf. This kind of loyalty is unheard of. I actually think it might be beyond my comprehension.
James hasn't gone out at the full moon yet. One should be coming up. I hope he hasn't stopped going because of me.
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August 15, 1978
Jane and I are going dress shopping. I'm much more excited than I should be.
...later...
There are Wedding Issues sprouting up already.
1. Who's paying for all this?
My parents want to pay for their youngest daughter's wedding, despite the fact that they paid for Petunia's wedding in May. James' parents (who I can't call by their first names, I'm sorry) want to pay for their only child's wedding, which they can afford. But Mum and Dad don't want to let them, and I'm wary of accepting any more of their money. They are the reason James and I have furniture. They helped us get our feet off the ground, and now that James and I are both working, I'd love if we could be self-sufficient.
2.
Can I invite members of the Order?
I could get away with
adding Dumbledore, McGonagall and probably Hagrid to the guest list,
but what about people like Frank and Alice, or Marlene, or Benjy or
Caradoc? I need to discuss this with Dumbledore.
3. Wizarding wedding vs. Muggle wedding.
I didn't know there was a difference. There is. I know one set of traditions, James knows another. If there's too much emphasis on magic, Petunia will throw a fit and my parents will be confused.
4. I found the perfect wedding dress. Or it would be if I wouldn't freeze my arse off wearing it in DECEMBER. (Why did we decide on December again??)
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August 17, 1978
Another issue: getting time off for our honeymoon. Auror training takes a bit of a break around Christmas, so James will not have a problem. The Boss tells me I can't even request a holiday until I've been there six months. I hope he's vanquished before December.-----
August 19, 1978I feel tense almost all the time. I have work, the Order and wedding planning and I'm trying to have a semi-normal life. My family and friends don't know about the Order, so I have a large chunk of my life that they don't know about, and I feel bad about that. Given that Jane gave me a hard time about how I spent more time with James and his mates than with her, it doesn't feel right that James' friends know all this and she doesn't. But I can't tell anyone. It only put them in danger along with the Order.No, James, you can't read what I'm writing. Go to sleep.
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