My first Fanfic. It is a bit pervy and insane and you don't like pervy and insane stuff? Don't read. Don't say I didn't warn you. evil grin Story was inspired as I thought over my eighth grade year and my pervy friends. Read and Review please. No flames because I warned you already.. heh heh heh... By the way. DISCLAIMER!! Naruto does not belong to me. STORY IS DEDICATED TO MY SOCIAL STUDIES GROUP - MY FRIENDS PATTY SHERLYNN SUZY AND TRISHA...

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Whenever Sasuke got up from his beauty sleep, he always showered. He always brushed his teeth after that, washed his face, and did the regular things – you should know, I mean, I'm sure you do the same things yourself. After he did all that morning stuff, it was then when he really, really started his day off with a glass of milk and... PINK STRAWBERRY DANIMALS YOGURT!!!! He usually ate at least three of these (even though they were so damn small) because he didn't want to become fat.

"Can't get out of this wonderful, manly, awesome shape that I already have!!" he chuckled as he posed in front of the mirror.

But why did he eat Danimals pink strawberry yogurt? Why not Dannon or Breyers? The reason was its taste and its color. Oh, how he loved the sweet, sour, and tangy taste of his beloved yogurt. And the color!!! That was something he could not resist. The beautiful pink color... it was of red mixed with white. He loved that color. He would never ever let other people make fun of his favorite color. In fact, he was so obsessed over the color that he had Hello Kitty Pink slippers, socks, blankets, pillows, pillow covers, toothbrushes, cups, towels, stuffed animals, and many other of the needed things. He even had Hello Kitty pencils, pens, pencil cases, and other accessories like that. That was how obsessed he was. Heck, he even had a 100% hot pink bathroom. The bathtub, toilet, sink, walls, ceiling, and counter were all pink... He never allowed anyone into his personal bathroom. The people might do something terrible to his lavatory facility. And he could never ever accept that. He would kill.

But his obsession didn't stop there. Sometimes, he would even go to Morning Glory and other "girl stores" to just stare at the walls and walls of pinkness. Sometimes, a store employee would come up and ask if he was buying a gift for his girlfriend. Inside, Sasuke seethed. He didn't need/want/have a girlfriend!!!! He was too good for those low down little pain in the asses and oh, how he wanted to avoid them. So instead of giving a five hour lecture to the store's worker about how much better he was, he mumbled "no". Yes, he was actually being nice this time. Next time, he would definitely blow. MUAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!

In fact, Sasuke was already thinking about creating his Ideal World. His Ideal World would be the perfect place. He would have everything pink, white red, or black, but everything had to be mostly pink. In his Ideal World the pinkness would overwhelm everything else... and his clan would be there too to enjoy it with him. Not his mom, dad, and evil Itachi brother, but his new family. His sons, daughters, and wife. He could just picture all the pinkness, fun, laughter,... It was perfect. And, yes, Sasuke was indeed obsessed in one day creating his Ideal World. He would also be the king and ruler of it all... yes, he sought power, and he was going to get it!! MUAHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!!

Anyways, back to his morning routine. As he gulped down that scrumptious pink yogurt, he fed his pet rabbit, Qutey, carrots, lettuce, the usual "rabbit stuff". Sometimes, for Qutey's happiness he would give her some pink yogurt as well. Then he would talk and ramble. It usually went like this.

"Oh, Qutely Wooty, you so damnn hot! I love you Qutey Wooty you so dammnn cute!! I love you so much you Qutey Wooty. Mamma's gonna go out training okay?? I'll be sure to bring something good for you to eat, Qutey Wooty. Don't you look soo dammn fi-i-i-ine. I love your white furrrrr today!! And I love your red and beautiful eyes!! (Even though they're not as pretty as my Sharingan eyes and that's the truth!! I'm just sooo much better than everyone else although I love you more than all of those...asses and you know it too...) And I love the pink skin that shows through your beautiful white fuuuurrrrrrr!! Oh, how I love you!! Qutey Wooty Qutey Wooty Qutey Wooty Qutey Wooty..."

That's not even one of his worst rambles. Sometimes there was insane laughter that went along with it when he told Qutey how he was gonna kick the blondie Naruto's ass. During these incessant rambles, Qutey sat in her cage (IT WAS A HELLO KITTY ONE TOO!!) and ate... and ate... and got fat... and pooped...

Today, Sasuke had almost completed his morning events when he realized... IT WAS QUTEY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! OH NO OH NO WHAT SHALL I DO???? IT'S HER BIRTHDAY AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE HER!!!" he broke down sobbing. Then he suddenly jumped up. "NO!! I STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO MAKE HER HAPPY! I'LL GO TO MORNING GLORY AND BUY HER SOME HELLO KITTY STUFF..." and he continued his rant and how he would give any employee that got in his way his five hour speech of how much better he was than all those girls... NO!! HOW HE WAS BETTER THAN ALL OF THEM LOW DOWN EMPLOYEES!! AHAHAHHAHAH!!

---- Scene Change ----

A group of people waited outside Ichiraku Ramen for it to open. It was Rock Lee's birthday and he had invited everyone along to eat for breakfast (what the heck!?!). But everyone came as to not hurt his feelings. Rock Lee was the first there, being how punctual he was. Neji and Tenten arrived next. Then Hinata did. She wanted to wait for Na-na-na-ru-ru-to-o- k-kun-un. Then the late people arrived. Sakura and Ino had had to do their hair, Naruto and Shikamaru slept in (like always), Chouji came late to walk with Shikamaru, Kiba had had to take care of his dogs, and Shino... he didn't state his reason...

"Okay!! Let's go EAT!!!!" Rock Lee yelled. But there was a problem. OH NO!!!!!!! WHERE WAS SASUKE?? The girls started freaking out while the guys were just like whatever...man, whatever...

Then they saw him - strolling down the street with his yummy pink yogurt in one hand and a small plastic spoon in the other. He was slowly eating to his heart's desire... until he saw everyone staring at him. There was a moment of silence. Then everyone began to talk. Rock Lee was trying to usher them inside, the girls obsessing over Sasuke and yelling that they also loved Pink Danimals Yogurt (for crying out loud, they actually hated it), Naruto was yelling "SASUKE YOU BASTARD!" Hinata was saying "Na-na-naru- naruto-to-k-k-kun..." while the other people talked among themselves with Shikamaru saying it was all too much and too troublesome.

---- An hour later... ----

Sasuke had refused to buy Ramen because he was already and still eating his yummy yogurt. Everyone else had already finished their ramen and was just... hanging out. That's when the trouble started. Naruto skipped over to Sasuke.

"OOOHH!! DANIMALS PINK STRAWBERRY YOGURT!! How very tasty!"

"Urusei... dobe..."

Naruto snapped. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??"

"You heard me baka! Dobe..."

"ARGH!!! URUSEI BAKA I'M-SO-COOL-SASUKE!"

"No... you total moron..."

Then Naruto suddenly got an idea and calmed down so fast, it scared everyone. "Sasuke-chan... (here Sasuke snapped) do you know what pink yogurt is?"

Sasuke stared at him. "Yes and you're the one who doesn't."

"NUH-UH! Want me to tell you what it is?"

Sasuke pretended to feel indifferent about Naruto's explanation, but deep inside he was ver, very, VERY, interested.

"I'll tell you what it is." Naruto chuckled. "Try to picture this in your head..."

---- Naruto's Story ----

There once was a very gayass man who wanted to become a woman. He took steroids, hormones, got plastic surgery... you know. The usual stuff. As he was going throught the process of... change, he suddenly decided to become both man and woman. The doctors protested and lectured him, but to no avail. He had made up his mind already and there was no changing it. And so, the man kept his male organs and got new female organs. People shunned him and children were taught to keep away from the gayass-weirdo. He was upset and before he knew it, he got his first period. The man was so surprised, but he learned how to... control it. Then, one night, as his period was still happening, he ejaculated in his sleep. And when he woke up and went to the bathroom and looked down, boy was he so damned surprised. And... well... that was the first creation of pink yogurt.

Blood Semen = Pink Sticky Stuff = PINK YOGURT!!

---- End of Naruto's Story ----

Everyone was so shocked at this. "Naruto...is... PERVERTED???" They screamed in their minds... then out loud. Naruto realized what he just said and... turned beat red... no redder than that actually. He was hit on the head about a hundred times and he cried... like a baby. After everyone was done screaming at Naruto and yelling "MY VIRGIN EARS!!!!!!!" And stuff like that, they all paused to look at Sasuke. The look on his face was priceless. And everyone choked back their laughter.

Sasuke was staring at Naruto with a mixture of "WTF?!?!" anger, "DID NARUTO REALLY SAY THAT?!?!" confusion, "EWWWW THAT WAS DISGUSTING!!!" disgust, "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!" surprise, and "I CAN'T BEAR TO EAT PINK DANIMALS STRAWBERRY YOGURT ANYMORE!!" sadness. The yogurt and spoon slipped from his hands and... Sasuke got a nose bleed, fainted, and his head went straight into the now shunned pink yogurt.

---- Scene Change ----

Sasuke woke up in his room. How long had he slept there? He wasn't so sure but... it didn't quite matter. He thought about what happened at the Ramen Shop... and got a nosebleed again. He ran to the bathroom to throw up after that. When he was finally done, he glanced at the time. FOUR O'CLOCK?!?!?! He had slept the whole morning and afternoon away!! Then he remembered two terrible things... it was Qutey's B-day and he still had nothing to give, and he could no longer eat his wonderful pink yogurt. Sasuke buried his head in his hands and bawled... like a baby... but he suddenly stopped and smiled a very Grinchy smile. He would get revenge on Naruto. Ohhhh, yeesss. Revenge. That sweet word was like honey to his eyes and lips. Revenge... HAHAHAHHAHAHA yes, he would somehow get back at Naruto. He would somehow make Naruto look like a fool! AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! What he would give to see Naruto the way he was today... NO! Sasuke stabbed that thought. NO. Naruto would feel worse than Sasuke did today. 100 times worse... MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA! Sasuke got out a piece of paper and jotted down all the things he could do to make Naruto realize that he was just so much better than he was. Ohhhh, yessss.... Perhaps he would even join Orochimaru to gain enough power to make Naruto look vulnerable and helpless. Ohhh, yesss...

And Sasuke wrote all this... in his beloved Hello Kitty Diary that came with dainty and small keys and a dainty silver small lock.

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Well, how did you like it? Review please! Remember, no flames, too. I warned you at the beginning already that it was pervy and insane. There might be a sequel or later chapters, yet there might not be. Ehheh... It all depends, yes, it all depends...