The feelling of love. How does one describe the feeling of love when the one person you loved has never loved you back? For this once sided love of mine has only been met with happiness, sadness and finally acceptance.
If love is only a chemical reaction why is it that I can't get you out of my mind? Why can't I change how I feel about you? When I see you, a smile begins to form on my face. My heart begins to race and my face flushes. When I think of you, I can't help but giggle at the fun moments we spent together with our group of friends and the moments that we spent together hanging out. I only realized my feelings when it was too late.
I thought that something was wrong with me. You are one of my best friends so I didn't understand why was my body reacting this way when it has never done so before. It doesn't react this way with anyone else. My heart was telling me something. Once I found out what my feelings were for you, I was and still am still afraid that you might find out what I feel for you. I don't want to break the bond that we have so I will remain silent with my one-sided love.
A memory strikes me from a couple years ago when you told me about the girl that you loved. I encouraged you to go confess your feelings because it would make you happy. I was right, it did make you happy because she accepted your feelings and it turned out that she loved you as well. It was only after you telling me that you were in love with someone else did, I finally realize my feelings for you. Everything began to make sense, my rapid heartbeat and holding my breath whenever you came near me. When you told me about your feeling you had for her; you described the same feelings for her that I had for you. Not wanted to break our friendship I encouraged you to confess your feelings before it was too late. You gave me a puzzled look at that statement but I told you not to worry about it.
Seeing you happy makes me happy, that is what love is supposed to be though right? Being happy for the person you love. Seeing you not getting hurt and knowing that you feel loved gives me a sense of calm. It is a bitter sweet feeling I must admit. My chest tightens whenever she comes up in our conversations but I can only smile because your eyes light up whenever you talk about her. You seem happy, so that is good enough for me.
I've accepted the fact that your feelings for me will always be platonic and that is okay. It only makes me wonder if there is someone out there for me. Is there someone that thinks of me like I think of you? Am I enough for them? Maybe, maybe not who knows I guess time will only tell. I do know that for the foreseeable future you will be the one that I love.