"Lieutenant James, I'm afraid we've received disturbing news. You need to leave, now. We're sending you to America where the government took great interest in your...profile, shall we call it. You're going to be placed under their care, you'll be flying under the radar for a while so you won't be able to work. I was told by an extremely snotty government official that you'd understand this, he's back, and apparently he's coming for you."
"Thank you sir. I understand perfectly. I'm sorry this is such short notice."
"Whatever you've got yourself into, it's clearly big, be careful out there James."
"Yes sir, thank you sir."
-
-
"LieutenantTegan James? Daughter of George and Eliza James?" - - - - - -
"Yes sir."
"Good, punctual. Come with me."
"Who are you?"
"Oh yeah, right, General Jack O'Neill. What? Not what you expected?"
"Not exactly sir."
"Relax with the sir crap already, you're not even American military, I've got no jurisdiction over you. Go on, get in. We won't kidnap you, I promise."
"Great...forgive me if it's rude to ask but why are you picking me up at an airport in a goverment car? I thought this was supposed to be discreet."
"Hey, being a Genereal needs to come with some perks right? Like cake, the White House does great cake. Can you sign these please?"
"Non-disclosure agreements? What are these for?"
"Well I can't tell you unless you sign it, sheesh you Brits."
"Well how can I sign it if I don't know what I'm agreeing to? You can never be too careful."
"Yeah yeah just sign the damn thing. What have you got to lose?"
"Nothing I suppose, since you put it so nicely."
"Excellent, huh, neat signature...anyway, how mad are you on sci-fi?"
"Sci-fi? I'm not a hardcore fan, but I suppose star trek isn't too bad."
"Yeah well beaming works the same way in real life."
"General?"
"A good few years back, we dug up an artifact in Egypt, it's called a stargate..."
"All set to leave?"
"Yes thank you general Landry, they weren't joking when they said travel light..."
"Indeed. Mr Woolsey is waiting on the other side to meet you."
"Great..."
"Getting cold feet?"
"No, just...a migraine, this is a lot to take in."
"Too damn right, try running the whole affair, now get going...Woolsey's not a man to keep waiting."
"Yes sir, thank you, if you could pass that on to General O'Neill..."
"Duly noted."
"Ah Lieutenant James, you're a few minutes late."
"My apologies sir, I was finishing a conversation with General Landry."
"Of course, welcome to Atlantis, it's a city of many wonders as I'm sure you'll see. You'll have time to see it all during your stay here, life's never boring I can tell you, this is the control room, down there's the gate, good morning Chuck! Here we are, my office, I believe introductions are in order. This is Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard, he's the commanding military officer here and you'll report to him."
"Afternoon Lieutenant."
"Is that what it is? I forgot my watch, damn I'm gonna pay for that."
"Don't panic, we've got a store cupboard full of them."
"Yes...this is the rest of his team, Ronon and Teyla and...where's-"
"I'm here I'm here, where is...Tegan!"
"Oh my god Rodney!"
"You...you're not...You're not eighteen anymore."
"No...neither are you, it's called growing up, I had no idea you were here!"
"Yeah and I had no clue you were coming! My god there's a lot to catch up on."
"We did say she was coming, Doctor Mckay."
"Yes well, I was busy doing important things...like always."
"You mean writing squiggly letters on a board?"
"Something like that, only much much cooler."
"You know Doctor Mckay Lieutenant?"
"Yes, we're old friends, we go...a long, long way back."
"Wait, you and Rodney...friends...no offense I don't see it."
"Now Colonel Sheppard let's not judge, Lieutenant I presume you are aware that you will have a thorough medical examination, conducted by our CMO Doctor Keller. Doctor Mckay, I take it you can show her to the infirmary? Good good, then perhaps to her quaters after, oh and I believe Ronon has offered to spar with you for evaluation."
"Really, oh that's going to be fun."
"Don't be so excited, many of his opponents end up needing stitches."
"Oh man you sound awesome."
"Ah so you're still an adrenaline junkie."
"Rodney I was not an adrenaline junkie, I just didn't like being picked on."
"Yeah right. Okay okay, come on, this way to the infirmary."
"If you need anything else just call Lieutenant."
"Thanks Mr Woolsey. Hey, Rodney slow down would you, you're not carrying the bags!"
"Okay so everything checks out, you're healthy as a horse and then some. Welcome to Atlantis."
"Thank you Doctor Keller."
"Not a problem, please call me Jennifer, if you need anything at all just call."
"I will. So Rodney where to next."
"Well, seeing as you were so keen to spar with Ronon-"
"Rodney are you trying to get her killed? Compared to him she's tiny, no offence."
"None taken."
"Jennifer you have not seen her fight. Hey Ronon, Sheppard, yeah it's me, I was wondering if we could move that sparring match up to now. Yeah she's been cleared. Trust me. Sure thing. Come on, they said they'd be waiting for us."
"Bye Jennifer, thank you again, Rodney...does this Ronon have a weakness?"
"Nope, the guys practically a machine."
"Nothing I could exploit?"
"Zilch."
"What about sensitive areas? Pressure points?"
"The guy was operated on when he was wide awake and didn't even flinch."
"Okay so...stamina?"
"Better than that of a marathon runner, he'll be a real challenge."
"Jesus christ, okay so he's burly, good level of fitness, no weaknesses..."
"Are you profiling him?"
"Yes, in order to fight you need to know your opponent Rodney. Seems very focused, watches everything, I bet he's profiling me to."
"Oh I'm sure."
"No really, he must have at least a foot on me height wise...clearly a lot heavier too, hmmm, I'm gonna have to be fast, defensive, unpredictable. You're right this is a challenge."
"I know and no offense, but getting the crap kicked out of you is my punishment for not writing to me."
"I'm sorry, I had no clue where to send the letters, besides I was on tour for quite a while, I didn't really have time. It may not be all action but there was still a hell of a lot to keep me busy."
"Sure, either way, write next time."
"Yes mother."
"There you guys are, about time, you sure you want to do this James?"
"Quite sure Colonel Sheppard."
"She's been profiling him."
"Huh, smart. What? You have to know your opponent, even a little bit helps if you're gonna go out fighting."
"That's what she said."
"Can we do this or what?"
"Easy chewie, no beating each other to bad, we don't want any medical emergencies, no underhanded tactics. That includes biting and scratching, and for you chewie...no hair pulling."
"Yeah yeah Sheppard, come on already."
"Great, good luck with your initiation into Atlantis personnel, they've all been beaten to a pulp god knows how many-"
"Mckay! Give the girl a little confidence, I thought you were supposed to be an old friend?"
"I'm used to it Colonel, believe me as a teenager, he was worse. His hormones were terrible, especially on his man period."
"Hey!"
"You ready tiny?"
"I'm actually five foot five worth of thunder."
"Whatever tiny, are you ready?"
"Yeah, I'm ready."