Hey guys, I know I currently have a multi-chapter going on but I have felt a bit confused and had to get the feelings out. You can probably see this is pretty personal and that is because it is based on my current feelings but I hope you guys enjoy it :) See ya at the bottom.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.
Life.
So short for a human.
You have to go to school...
Go to college...
Meet a guy...
Fall madly in love...
Get married, have children, grow old together and then die.
Pretty simple when it's laid out for you.
But in real life it's nothing like that. Not at all like that.
For me? Well for me it's just completely wrong. Go to school? Yep! Done that. Go to college? Doing that. Meet a guy? Definitely! Fall madly in love? Unfortunately, yes. And the last four you ask? Well they will never apply to me. Not that it matters, my guy wouldn't want that with me.
So yes, you have guessed it. I, Caroline Forbes, has fallen in love with the wrong guy!
It is actually quite funny when you look at it from a third angle. From the first angle, mine, it sucks. I mean, I am head over heels, madly, deeply, enthusiastically in love with this guy. From the second angle, his, he doesn't even know. Or he does and he is just laughing at me and my stupidity. I mean he doesn't even live here anymore! But from the third angle, no-one, it is just hilarious. Like a movie; that sad, loser of a girl in love with the hunky, gorgeous, heart-throb. Pathetic right?
What is his name you ask? Well I will tell you. His name is Klaus Mikaelson.
Oh yeah! I know what you are thinking. Wait Caroline, was he not in love with you not only 4 months ago?
And to that I would answer hell yeah, but now...no I can't say that, because he doesn't.
He left without so much as a goodbye. Yeah he came back and intended to be my last love, however long it takes. But that is just a load of horse crap. We established this amazing friendship. I would even consider him my closest friend. He let me see sides of him that he has shown no one else. Then he left and hasn't spoken to me since. He must have given up on me. Probably thought, well it is only going to be friendship so I will just move on.
I keep looking through my phone at the photos we took after he walked me off that football ground. It's sad I know, but when I look at those photos of us two standing next to each other, his arm around me and mine around him, smiling like two love-sick teenagers I can't help but feel a warm glow envelop me. We are always happy now when we are together, but it is so short-lived. I just gaze at the picture for hours looking at his face smiling back at me and the other girl who looks the spitting image of me but I don't recognise her.
Must be because she is happy.
I wouldn't say that I am not happy diary, it's just, I wish I could be bursting with it. And I know that would happen if I had him by my side...
I miss him.
I really do...I wonder if he misses me?
I keep hanging on to this hope that he maybe does still love me but if he did would he not be trying or actually...making any effort whatsoever to talk to me? Or text me even?
Looking out my window, it's dull, its half past eight at night. I can see that the sun has just faded down behind a low-hanging grey cloud. A single, large tree is emphasised in my view by the sun's last, disappearing rays. The beautiful silhouette moves slightly in the slight, spring breeze that is blowing through my street. The street light that stands right outside my window continues to change colour by the minute as it warms up as the sun cools down. Pink to red to orange to a bright yellow.
"You're full of light. I enjoy you."
Seriously! Does everything have to remind me of him?
I could just pull my phone of the docking station as it is currently playing our song.
M-my, m-my, give me love
M-my, m-my, give me love
I could send him a text, asking when I will see him again. I couldn't send him a 'I miss you' that would just freak him out...we're only friends after all.
I really wish I knew where these feelings had come from. Just picturing him makes me smile in fondness.
His bright, big, blue eyes that hold so much wisdom that could draw even the purest souls in. I love it when he laughs with me. The way he sometimes puts his hand out to hold himself up as he buckles over in laughter at the small amount of amazing memories we have. And then his hand reaches my arm and the sparks of electricity fly through my body and my whole face instantly brightens up. Does he feel it to?
I remember that graduation night. He took me to the after party for a bit, but I had to get ready first, so I said I would meet him there. He left me with a joke on my porch and walked away looking so handsome in his smart suit and tie.
I quickly got ready and then raced to the party and walked through the door very shyly at how he would think I would look. I spotted him first, he was casually leaning against a table drinking a scotch and staring off into space. He must have sensed my presence as he turned his head straight towards where I was and his eyes locked with mine.
I kept slowly walking towards him and I could precisely tell you where each click of my heels hit what part of the floor. His gaze travelled from my poker straight hair down to my sparkling blue eyes that were emphasised by black mascara. He then looked at my cheeks that were pink from my blusher as well as just my reaction to how he was intricately staring at me. He moves his eyes to my lips, strawberry pink in colour thanks to a small dash of lipstick and currently being nibbled slightly by my nervous teeth.
His eyes then run down my body as he can see my curvey hourglass figure that is emphasised in the tight, lacy black dress that reaches to just above my knees. He moves to my legs, covered in thin black tights that help accentuate them with the help of my small little booted black heels that make them look more shapely.
I finally reach him and he brings his eyes back up to meet mine and I am nearly floored by the emotion I see swirling around in them.
We danced that night, not a slow dance but a rave. We got so hot and sweaty but we didn't care as it was great fun. People took the pictures I have on my phone and when his hand touched my waist I nearly died with happiness.
We walked out of the party just after 1am and we bid each other good night and went our separate ways. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and woke up the next day determined to tell him how I felt to find out he had left.
It's sad isn't it. He leaves just as I learn how I feel. And all my courage well it is still there but it is just hesitant.
I want to text him. I want to tell him that I love him and have him come running back and softly press his lips to mine and then he whispers I love you too back to me.
But that won't happen. We're not in the movies. This is real life.
My bedroom is pitch black now apart from the small blue light coming from my docking station and my glitter lamp shining brightly on my desk corner. The little pieces of glitter are elegantly swaying about in the oil and reflecting off my face in the most beautiful way.
I don't know what to do. I haven't seen him in 4 months or even heard from him but I am determined to change that tonight.
I have grabbed my phone from the docking station and brought his name up in a message. Great he has iMessage! At least I will know when he has read it and if he wants to reply to me or not.
What will I say? Oh I know!
Caroline - 21:39
Hey! Look what I found when going through my phone!
(Image of party attached)
I press send and eagerly wait with the message thread still sitting open on my phone. My palms are sweating and my breathing is laboured. This really is pathetic.
Klaus - 21:41
Message read at 21:41
Is that it? Nothing else? I wait for a few more minutes but I get no reply. So he is just ignoring me...great! I was right he doesn't care! Well you know what I won't sleep tonight unless I say this so I might as well just text him it and then I will be able to sleep.
But first I need to delete these photos, they are just horrible reminders. I unlock my screen and it comes on to the zoomed in picture of us at the party. A small smile graces my face and I can't help it even when I try my hardest to get rid of it. It is almost like he permanently plasters it on my face.
I can't delete them...Ugh! I better get this over with...
Caroline - 21:53
I can see you obviously don't want to talk or you just want to be friends so I am just going to say this and then I will leave you to live the rest of your life in peace.
Klaus - 21:54
Message read at 21:54
Caroline - 21:55
Fine! Well here it is. I miss you so much and I know we haven't even kissed or properly hugged but I am in love with you so much it hurts and you being a dick over text is just making it hurt more. Goodbye Klaus.
I throw my phone down onto my bed and fall asleep instantly as all the pain and suffering has exhausted me.
My dreams are still filled with him like normal and I feel I am just going to have to accept that they always will be.
There is a loud chap on my front door at 8am and I have to groggily get out of my bed as my mom is out for the weekend. I shuffle to the door in my shorts and large, baggy top with my hair sticking out in all directions. I don't look up at who is on the other side until I open the door revealing my disheveled state.
I can't help but take a sharp intake of breath at who is there. I was not expecting him to be there.
"Hello Klaus." I breathe out harshly, annoyed that he has decided to hurt me further. I thought we were at least friends.
"Caroline. I need to speak to you." His beautiful voice really isn't helping me stay angry at him.
"Go on then."
I feel as if this is going to be a long day filled with too many emotions. Hopefully it is not as bad as all the other days have been when I have spent them in Klaus' presence.
Please make this a happy day. I feel I could use one...badly...
And I shall leave it up to you guys on how the rest goes down...unless you have any ideas?
Would love to hear your opinions so please review and ideas just let me know :)
Alison xx