AN: Yes, more random insanity. XD Since Riku Goes to the Mall is almost done, I've started up something else to help pass the time afterwards. Basically, it's about the red-haired Unknown, who the POD and I have dubbed Margret for now. …The misspelling makes him special. +_+ **cough** Anyways, it's basically the result of staying up too late talking with the POD and anticipation for KH2. Oh well, Xenosaga Episode II comes out August 4th, 2004! BUY IT OR DIE!…AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE FIRST ONE, BUY THAT FIRST! M'kay, anyways….Follow Margret and the other members of the KH/Final Fantasy cast as they travel around the world, leaving stupidity in their wake. Beware the evil little girl. _O
Oh yes, X-2 has consumed my soul. I just beat Chapter 3 last night. Shuyin scares the shit out of me. O_o He looks like a more masculine Tidus. I miss Tighty Whities. ;_;
Tidus: -_-
I actually started sobbing when it flashed to Yunas' dream where she was running and --… Right. XD X-2 is good. Buy it. OR ELSE MARGRET WILL COME OUT OF YOUR TV AND GO "BBBIIIIGGG RAPE"!!! IN A TELETUBBIE VOICE AND--…You know what will happen. ^^
Enjoy and review please. **cackle**…Oh, and there's a fair amount of swearing. XD
For the POD…Linnet – I shall never forget the day I randomly IM'd you with my humble presence, and how quickly we discovered that we are both really screwed up in the head. ^^
Rae – We may have had more than one child together……..They just taste so good though…I couldn't resist….
Bren-chan -….HALF LESBIANS RULE! **does bi dance with j00** Mai POD leben in verurteilter Unbegrenztheit!
Becci -….I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT STOP RAINING IN ENGLAND! Then…then….I'll come over to your house and drink all your VC. ^^
Cait – Mew is forever. BIG O, BIG FART ATTACK!
I do not own KH/KH2….but I do own the evil little girl.
If I DID own KH2, Ansem would be a playable character, the Red-Haired Unknown would fall in love with someone cute like Selphie, and Sora would have a random bathtub scene, instead of random battles. ^^
/Stupid Pre-Stupidity Stupidity Ramble
It was a regular night in Twilight Town, which was town like any other…
Except it was non-existent.
Except it had extremely strange buildings.
Except it was always night. (You must thank your brilliant forefathers for such an inspired name.)
And for another thing, it wasn't a town. It was more like a frucking city. Gawd. Now, Traverse Town…
…That was more like a district. It was pretty damn small, in fact. But I'm sure that the animators and designers alike would not have taken great pleasure in designing an entire metropolis for eager gamers to roam.
So, anyway, in Uninspired Metro Area, (You fuckin' know what I'm talking about, pimp.), there was a certain amount of commotion. This was due to the fact that,
One: Something besides a candy-ass eating Heartless Attack was happening.
Two: Someone dropped a potato.
Three: There was a very handsome 16-year-old boy with chocolate brown hair and startlingly clear Prussian eyes juggling two humungous, (and rather evil looking), keys for a group of small children. They laughed in delight, probably entertained by the fact that, if Keyboy missed, he would be impaled and his guts would spray all over them.
Because cute li'l bubbly 5 year olds are just those kinda people.
The boy with the keys finally finished juggling, and stuffed the twin mystical weapons back into Hammer Space. Hammer Space, is, in fact, the space where all weapons that pop out of nowhere/giant comical mallets/ironically useful objects with ironically perfect timing are stored.
Know this, or be consumed by that guy that throws around a strange ball and goes "YA"! all the time.
"CONSUMED,YA! BUA HA HA HA HA"! Came a random voice from somewhere over the vast Square-Enix ocean, and then all was quiet again.
"Aw, c'mon mister, can't you just risk impaling yourse—I mean juggle for us a little more"? One particularly cute little girl whined. Her neatly-brushed black pigtails bounced, her blue eyes shining with inner malice—
…I mean…the innocence and wholesomeness that comes with not having truly seen the world for what it is, and not having watched professional hockey.
The authoress smiled knowingly, poking tentatively at a throbbing purple bruise that currently dominated her entire left side. Then, she stripped naked and ran around screaming "MOTHERLAND"! at the top of her lungs.
Keyboy ran a gloved hand through his lustrous brown hair. You had NO idea how much shit he put up with to get it like that. All those Herbal Essences commercials.
"Rehearsals" basically involved standing nude in a shower and moaning until he actually started to get horny. Then, he randomly almost raped a poor camera girl, (We don't think she would have minded, maybe rape wasn't the BEST word for this…), and then he had to sign another restraining order.
So far, he had quite a few. One for trying to see if the main spike in Cloud Strifes' hair was removable. Another for trying to steal Squalls' necklace. Then there was, of course, the one for killing and eating the stadium keeper…
What was his name? 20lbs prime rib?
….He wasn't sure. But he had tasted good. Especially his salty brain meats.
You wouldn't know it, but the Jungle King made an excellent skewer for open-fire asshole grilling.
He looked down at the girl again. Little kids were cute. This one was no exception. But Keyboy let his heart stiffen. "Sorry, kid. I'm a bit beat". He sighed, and then flashed a dazzling smile. The girl blushed cutely and looked down at the ground, twisting her ankle back and forth and rubbing her toe on the road. It was coated with blood, for this was Keyboys' usual jugglin' spot.
"Aw….alright then…," she started, then stomped on his foot. He was silent. She glared at him. The crowd smiled. How cute, the little girl thought she could hurt a teenage boy. Aww, she just needed to learn that she was still teeny, and that a seasoned warrior like Keyboy would neve---
"AGGGGGHHHHHH! MY FUCKING TOE, YOU LITTLE WHORE"! The boy screeched, and swung the Oathkeeper (Kairi had clearly stated that her related blade was to be used for killing any hos in the vicinity) directly at the girl. She screeched and ducked in time to avoid having her head lopped off by the enraged youth. He then dropped to the ground, tears stinging those beautiful blue eyes. "My, t-toe…it's broken…", he sobbed.
Small evil child starred in disbelief.
Meanwhile…
A solitary figure stood against the irregular backdrop of the great Uninspired Metro Area, the balmy summer wind caressing a smooth white cheek.
"Ewwww," came a voice. It clearly displeased of mildly-flowery language. The authoress typed still more, rolling her green eyes in frustration.
Geezus, these Unknown bishounen were a pain in her pimply white ass.
"…Ewwwwww, " came the voice again, but any further comments that had been dwelling in his narrow little mind were quickly knocked out with the ferocity of Tifa running to a D-sized bra sale by a giant wash pan that fell out of nowhere. "OWWW, GOD EFFING DAMNIT"! He screeched, and then proceeded to glare at the screen. With all the wind and eerie music stopped, one could clearly see that the man was an Unknown, due to the purple (snicker) robe that concealed most of his body. Fan girls moaned in disappointment. His green eyes switched around frantically, mostly likely to kill the source of the moan. Nearly all of his glorious red hair had been chopped manically off by fan girls before, it happened to all of the Unknowns. They didn't wanna wear hoods, ya know.
"YA"?! A squeaky teenager voice screamed, and the man glared. Stupid authoress.
So, what, you may ask not-so-dear reader, is our flame-haired, farts-out-of-hand evil Unknown doing in Uninspired Metro Area? Why…you know…that typical line that almost every villain in Kingdom Hearts ever screamed/conversed evilly about. Yes, ladies and gentlemen…TAKE IT AWAY, UNKNOWN DUDE!
He lit up considerably, took a deep breath, and then bellowed with the force of an elephant fart; "I SEEK THE ONE WHO BEARS THE KEY"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the other side of Traverse Town, Sora-called-Keyboy had just massacred all witnesses, and had corned Evil Little Girl and was about to separate her precocious head from her tiny body, when he heard that oh-so-familiar line.
Sighing and letting his weapon drop, he let his attention turn to the infinitely-starry sky. Evil Little Girl took the chance to haul ass, but fear not….or, actually fear; for she will return.
Keyboy then sucked breath into his lovely sculpted Keyboy chest and bellowed "IT WOULD BE "I SEEK THE ONE WHO BEARS THE KEYS, YOU FUCKING RETARD"! There was silence for a moment, so the authoress took advantage of it and farted loudly. Keyboy glared, so she stopped giggling and dodged a Strike Raid.
Silence.
Silence as a spider ate yummy liquefied bug guts.
Silence.
Silence as Keyboy used Oblivion to scratch his ass. ("Oh yeah, that's the spot baby.")
Silence.
And then, the same voice; "…Oh yeah…Ummm…I SEEK THE ONE WHO BEARS THE KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!….and YOU are a fucking retard, kid." Came the mumble afterwards.
Sora sighed deeply, couldn't God, or the authoress, or whatever just leave him in peace? Peace to find his friends? Peace to blow things up? Peace to sit on a bench and amuse himself by Strike Raiding innocent people for "target practice"? Well, apparently not, he thought as the voice broke out into malevolent psychopathic laughter.
He sighed REALLY deeply, his look dismayed. (This: -_-)
It was going to be another typical day…night…whatever the fuck it was there at Twilight Town.
AN: O_O I AM A BANANA!.. I mean, review please. XD **dances around in Songstress outfit singing realEmotion**