CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody
The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.
Written by Nashie
- - -
Pre-Author's Note: Other than the obvious fact that this is no longer in script format, you'll notice that there are more chapters. That doesn't mean I've suddenly written a whole bunch of new chapters. No, it just means that, by request, I've shortened the chapters I've already have. There IS a new chapter in chapter five, so check that out. Once again, thanks for the patience and support.
Also, you notice that the rating has gone from PG-13 to R. Gomen nasai, but I think there are too many uses of a certain f-word and enough sexual innuendo to boost the rating.
So, once again, reviews would be greatly appreciated, especially to make up for the many I had to delete, thanks to I don't get mad at people often, but when I do, there will be hell to pay.
- - -
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi. It belongs to Yuu Watase-sama and other people (like Bandai and some others I forgot the names to). Either way, the point is clear: it ain't mine. However, the characters of Bob, C-Guy, and Miku-chan are mine and are made purposely for this fanfic. Please don't take them, I like them, and I have a bad habit of not sharing.
I also would like to thank Teki-chan and Sake-chan for forever being by RPGing buddies, despite the fact that I must drive them up a wall with my annoying habits ever so often. You two are fabulous writers, and I glomp you very much.
Also, DJFiregirl, Silverscape, MidnightSun278, Dreamlessdays, and Ashley (even though you don't like anime), thanks for your cameos. Especially the bishonen-lovin' DJFiregirl. You are SO getting a bishie for your B-day. Plus, my brother and his weird friends…for just being weird.
And, because I'm the author AND the director, I would like to glomp onto all of my seishi, who I love so very much! Nuri-chan, I love you tons and tons and tons! Gen-chan, you're a pain in the gluteus maximus but still so glompable. Hotohori-sama, you are the hottest bishie ever to walk the face of the planet! Chichiri, no da, you are so KAWAII! Mits-san, you are mine and mine alone! Chiriko, so adorable and cute and sweet! Tama-baby, my Eco-Boy, if Miaka didn't claim you, I would! And Miaka, you can be annoying, but you're still so sweet.
Also, a very special thank you to Roku-san, who encouraged me to be original and awesome at the same time. With her story "Casting Stones", she inspired me to write Cinderella, and the other stories of this theatre series. I borrowed the format style from her (a mix of script and regular story writing), but as if of this revision, nothing else. (winks) Thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart.
-à-à-
CHAPTER 1:A – SEVEN GUYS, A MIKO, AND A PIZZA PLACE
Somewhere in the downtown district of Milwaukee, a long line of people is gathered outside the newly constructed Milwaukee Theatre, many of whom are surprisingly young and female (which makes one wonder what type of show is going on this night). Night has just fallen, and stars dot the black winter sky, shining down prospectively on the opening night of the most talked about musical since…well, since some other really talked about musical.
As always, Milwaukee weather is barely two degrees higher than freezing, and all the people in the crowd are dressed warmly in hats, scarves, and gloves. One particular young lady (whose only visible feature is her dark eyes amidst the layers of scarves, hats, and hoods) is standing near the front of the line, clutching a small Sony video camera that was probably very expensive, and muttering about the cold beneath her breath. This is MoonshadowJedi, a small, auburn-haired college student who has taken time from her busy schedule to come and participate in the play her friend nagged her about.
Fortunately for her, she is a close friend of the director's (and also the very important props manager) and is able to convince the doorman (who didn't recognize that she was the very important props manager) to let her in early. Envious looks are shot her way as she walks into the glamorously-decorated front lobby, but she ignores all of them and gives her ticket to one of the random worker people at the front desk.
MoonshadowJedi looks around at the near-empty lobby and sighs, beginning to take off her hats, scarves, and gloves, appreciating the comfortable temperature inside. At that moment, another young lady with a Renaissance princess hairstyle, wearing a headset with a mike, strides from a connecting hallway into the front lobby. She looks a tad bit annoyed and confused as she walks past MoonshadowJedi with scarcely a civil nod.
MoonshadowJedi hesitates, then begins waving her arms around wildly. "Um, hello? Hi!" The girl turns around at MoonshadowJedi's actions, and frowns, cocking her head to the side in a curious expression.
"Are you talking to me?"
MoonshadowJedi nods. "Yeah." She offers out her hand and shakes her hand with the brunette's, grinning happily. "I'm MoonshadowJedi, the prop manager. Have you seen Nashie around here anywhere?" The girl's brows knit together in an expression of concentration.
"MoonshadowJedi...oh, you're that girl she was talking about." She gestures behind her to the door she just walked from. "Nashie's backstage, trying to keep from having a nervous breakdown. Opening nights are terrible, especially when you're a first-time director." She grins mischievously.
The college student rolls her eyes. "You would think that her years in stage crew would have calmed her down." The girl nods in agreement, and then glances past the smaller young woman to glance out the door to where the crowd of people eagerly waits to be let inside.
"Wow," she murmurs in surprise, blue eyes widening. "What a big drawing tonight. I didn't know that this many people in Milwaukee liked Fushigi Yugi. Or maybe it's the Cinderella part of it." She shrugs and sighs. "It doesn't matter – Milwaukee is the boondocks of Wisconsin anyway..."
"How are all the thespians anyway?" asks MoonshadowJedi, amused at the thought of being in a boondocks city. Something about The Beverly Hillbillies rolls through her mind, and she quickly shakes it out, wondering where such a random thought came from. She turns towards the door and prepares to leave the girl. It's not that it wasn't a good show…it was actually funny sometimes…but still…oooh…why am I talking to myself…or thinking to myself…?
Just as she snaps back to reality, the taller girl grimaces and wipes a loose strand of brown hair from her face. "I have a feeling it's going to be a long night for all of us. Nashie must be out of her mind. But I like Cinderella, so I guess we're all going to have to wing it and suffer." MoonshadowJedi flinches at the word 'suffer' – she already had enough problems in college, she didn't need anything like the plays and musicals from high school to up her stress level.
MoonshadowJedi looks down at the video camera and flips the switch on, before bringing it up to her face, glancing around the lobby again in approval. "I'm going to be recording everything that goes on backstage tonight. We never did get footage like that in the high school plays." Though I wish we had…sometimes the funniest things happened backstage… "How do you get backstage anyway? Nashie made me props manager, but this is the first time I've been to the theatre." The girl spun on her heel and pointed down the hallway she had just come from.
"Go all the way down the hallway until you run into some double doors at the bottom of a little staircase," she explains thoroughly. "You can't miss it. A tall guy with dark hair should be sitting on the steps. He has a cat with him." She begins walking away to the opposite hallway and turns so that she's walking backwards and still facing MoonshadowJedi. "Oh, by the way, the password is 'Suzaku Seishi are the coolest seishi ever to walk the face of the planet and if you even think about arguing against it, I will have Nuriko punch you through the nearest wall'."
MoonshadowJedi manages a decent facefault. "Say what?" The girl grins.
"Nashie's idea." MoonshadowJedi blinks, and sighs. Who else would think of something like that? Nashie hasn't changed one bit…
To the girl, she calls out, "Thank you!" A pause. "By the way, what's your name?"
Just before the young woman disappears through the double doors, she winks and offers a final wave. "I'm Teki-chan, the light goddess. Ja ne!" And with that, she's gone.
"I'll see you later then," MoonshadowJedi murmurs to herself as she turns the camera to face her. "Well, I guess that's the start of the musical for tonight. Um...the musical, by the way, is Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella – the updated one that was on the Wonderful World of Disney. Nashie, I think, has an affinity for faerie tales." She wrinkles her nose. "Especially Disney faerie tales that involve singing. Now all I have to do is find the really tall guy with a cat, and remember that silly password." She pauses, thinking for a second. "Oh, and since I know you'll be watching this Nashie, you need serious, serious mental help."
MoonshadowJedi keeps the camera rolling as she slowly jogs down the brightly lit, red-carpeted marble and gold hallways of the theatre, looking out for a tall guy with a cat. The hallways are deserted except for a few janitors doing a few last minute dusting and vacuuming tasks. MoonshadowJedi waves to a few of them, encouraging them to wave back to the camera she's holding. Some smile shyly and do so, while others stare stonily at their job (and are therefore of no importance as they OBVIOUSLY have attitude problems).
Finally, the hallway comes to an end, with a spiral staircase leading up to the next level on the left side of the corridor. To the right are a few steps downwards leading to plain doubles door that strictly say: CREW ONLY. Beneath that is a hand-written sign that says: OR THE PIZZA GUY in large Hi-Liter orange letters. There's no sign of the tall guy or the cat.
MoonshadowJedi descends the steps and knocks on the door when finding that it's locked. For a few moments, she stands there, shifting from one foot to the other, waiting for someone to open the door for her. Finally, from the other side, she hears yelling.
"IS THAT THE PIZZA GUY?"
MoonshadowJedi shakes her head, even though no one can see her. The camera shakes back and forth along with the movement of her head. "No! It's me! The prop manager! Let me in!"
There is the sound of muffled whispering on the other side of the door, and finally the door creaks open slightly, and MoonshadowJedi catches a glimpse of pale pink hair and a big grey eye that blinks at seeing her. MoonshadowJedi has no idea who the person is, as stage crew is relatively small, and none of the main characters has pale pink hair and grey eyes.
MoonshadowJedi blinks and scratches behind her head nervously. "If you don't believe me, ask the director." The door opens slightly more, revealing the short stature of the pink-haired girl, whose wearing the customary black of stage crew, including a baseball cap that looks a little too large for her head. The girl is Miku, the assistant light manager. She peers up at MoonshadowJedi and seems to be contemplating whether or not to let her in. The young woman groans. "Really! I'm the prop manager!"
Nothing from Miku who just contemplates MoonshadowJedi with a long, serious look. The older girl fidgets under the gaze, wondering who in the world taught the girl to glare like that. Someone's been spending too much time around the fellows… "Why else would I be back here?" Miku gestures to the camera, and frowns disapprovingly. "Nashie asked me to bring it along." A pause, and then MoonshadowJedi cocks her head to the side. "Don't you talk?"
Miku shakes her head.
"Ooookay…then who asked the question earlier?"
Miku points behind her. MoonshadowJedi peers behind the silent girl, and into the dimly lit recesses of the backstage area. But she doesn't see anything, and raises an eyebrow at the girl questioningly.
Suddenly, a grinning face appears out of nowhere, like a huge apparition with no body that would strike terror even into the bravest of souls (yes, even including Indiana Jones). MoonshadowJedi yelps, and falls backwards onto the steps, as Nashie steps out from the shadows, patting Miku on the head. Miku gives MoonshadowJedi an odd look before shrugging and turning to disappear into the backstage shadows.
Meanwhile, Nashie has launched herself at MoonshadowJedi (who is around three heartbeats away from cardiac arrest) with her world famous Glomp™ and is cutting off her friend's circulation and breathing. MoonshadowJedi, turning a wonderful shade of blue (more like a pale lavender, but it's closer to blue…or more of a cerulean...a light cerulean, which, by the way, is Nashie's all-time favourite color), taps Nashie on the head. Nashie pulls away, still grinning like a madwoman. The oh-so-lovable director is another of the tall bunch, dark-skinned and green-eyed, wearing the customary black of stage crew (though her T-shirt says I AM THE DIRECOR, BOW BEFORE ME in white Broadway style letters). A headset with a mike and a black ski-knit cap, all slightly askew from the force of the hug, adorn her head, the matching scarf to the cap twirled around her neck.
"MoonshadowJedi, I thought you'd never get here! It's only an hour before the show! And everyone isn't in costumes and make-up yet! We have some people hoggin' the Nyan-Nyans, and Gen-chan is refusing to play his part, and Miaka-chan ate our last pumpkin, and the mice are loose, and...and..."
MoonshadowJedi stops to admire Nashie's lung capacity before replying, "Breathe, girl! We can't have the director passing out on us. Now tell me, where is the rest of stage crew?" Nashie blinks and then takes in a deep breath, calming herself down and closing her eyes.
"Mits-san had a headache, so he came out here with Tama-neko. Chiriko went with Bob to go buy another pumpkin. Sake-chan is down in the pit, messing with the sound arrangements and orchestra, and C-Guy is there with her. Miku's right here and Chichiri is changing into his costume. That's all we have for stage crew, y'know?" She bites her lip nervously. "I don't think I have enough people working the floor. It's only me, Mits-san, Chiriko, and you. Bob is with the rigging and Chichiri has to worry about his part…MJ, I think we're in trouble."
"We're not in trouble…yet. You've been in stage crew long enough to know that major disasters can always be diverted. Now let's see." She begins ticking off her fingers. "So, it's me, and you, and Mitsukake, and Chiriko, and Bob, and Sake-chan, and Teki-chan, and C-Guy, and Miku, and Chichiri. Nine people isn't too bad." MoonshadowJedi shakes her head and offers a cheerful smile and hug. "We're going to be alright, Nashie-chan! And even if we aren't, we can always look back on this and laugh!" She holds up the camera, which was surprisingly not damaged in the Glomp™. Almost immediately, Nashie's eyes light up.
"You brought it! Yea!" She begins to usher MoonshadowJedi into the backstage hallway. "C'mon, c'mon. You have to meet our cast! And didja see the set yet? It's beautiful! And the costumes? Wow!" She grabs MoonshadowJedi's arms and drags her into the mysterious backstage area, chatting the entire way, with the camera still rolling.
-à-à-
Meanwhile, back out in the lobby, two people stroll in from the cold, and begin to discard their coats, glad that Nashie at least made sure the theatre was nice and toasty for all the fans. One of the two is none other than Chiriko, who is holding a pumpkin half as tall as he is, and looking like he's having trouble managing it. The other of the two is taller and devastatingly handsome with wavy dark hair, deep brown eyes, and an easygoing, lopsided smile. This is Bob, the director's (and every other female member in the crew)'s eye candy, who also happens to attend to the rigging and other mechanics of the stage.
Chiriko shivers as he places his coat on top of the pumpkin. "Bob-san, this pumpkin is rather unwieldy. Shouldn't we see if we can get Mitsukake to assist us?" Bob smiled, draping his jacket over his arm.
"We'll have to find him first," he replies in a charming Scottish brogue. "However, let's see how far we can get it without the help." Chiriko glances at the pumpkin and smiles happily.
"I'm glad we got one so large! Miaka will never be able to eat this entire thing by herself." He paused. Though I should never put anything past her capabilities…
Bob nods in agreement. "Hopefully, this will distract her." He gestures to the bag of Krispy Kremes, chocolate bars, vanilla ice cream, Popsicles, Sobe drinks, and other various goodies that would make even the game of Candy Land seem healthy. "Either that, or destroy all of her teeth." Chiriko laughs and then turns to the pumpkin, grimacing as he starts to roll it down the hallway.
"How much time do we have, Bob-san?"
"Almost an hour. It's 7:03, now."
Unbeknownst to Bob and Chiriko, a couple more of the director's special guests walk into the lobby, much to the doorman's dismay and the ticket guy's chagrin. The short pretty blonde and the tall dark-haired girl look around at the surroundings in amazed approval, wondering where in the world Nashie was able to find the money to rent such luxurious surroundings. The redhead with a crossed look on her face has a camera dangling from her hand, looking around for bishonen, of which she has yet to see. The last two of the group straggle behind, one of them muttering darkly under her breath.
This group of five youngsters is all Nashie's fellow classmates whom she somehow dragged into coming to watch the show. For some, it was a firm definite 'yes', but for others...
"I don't even LIKE anime," one of the girls mutters angrily. Her name is Ashley, and true to her previous comment, isn't exactly the biggest fan of Japanese animation. (It's a wonder she and Nashie, as best friends, don't argue about it more than they do). "Cinderella, yes. Anime, no. Why am I even here?"
"Because it's Nashie's opening night, and we all want to be there to support her, right?" the tall girl, Silverscape, replies. "Though I'm a little peeved at her because she didn't ask me to help with the costumes. I AM on costume crew after all." The redhead, however, is freaking out big time, shifting from one foot to the next in agitation and swinging her camera wildly. It seems as if a DJFiregirl Rant™ is about to begin.
"What about me? Hell, there's a ton of bishonen backstage, and she can't even invite me to glomp onto one of them!" This continues on for about two minutes until the small blonde, MidnightSun278, interrupts in her quiet, melancholy voice.
"She has to remain professional." Silverscape rolls her eyes.
"Professional? We're putting Nashie backstage with a bunch of bishonen and you expect her to remain professional?"
"I've got better things to do than to waste my time here." Ashley, of course. DJFiregirl has something to say about this nonchalant attitude…of course.
"It's not a waste of time. We've got some HOT guys backstage, and you want to leave? Are you fuckin' insane?" She launches into a new tirade as she and Ashley squabble over the bishonen backstage. MidnighSun278 and Silverscape discreetly pretend not to know them.
As the group of girls argues, the only male in the group, Dreamlessdays, sighs and shakes his head, and continues to silently chew his beloved honey bun, his nose buried in his edition of Sabriel. The bulge in his conspicuously large backpack is obviously where at least a thousand more delectably delicious delights are stored.
Oi vay.
-à-à-
MoonshadowJedi has been following Nashie in the dark hallways of the wings of the stage, glad that the video camera came supplied with its own light. The director seems to be ignoring the light, knowing every step, and every nook and cranny of the narrow hallways. The only lights on, despite the fact that show wouldn't be starting until eight, are black lights, which cast an eerie violet glow to the two figures as they march down the black-carpeted hallway.
Suddenly, Nashie pauses in front of a door that bluntly reads, MAIN MAKE-UP ROOM. She grins, swings the door open, and MoonshadowJedi finds herself nearly blinded from the soft glow of the lights from inside. She blinks rapidly to clear away the stinging tears and steps into the room, camera still rolling.
The room itself is quaintly small and cozy looking, with deep red colored walls covered in posters from all of Nashie's favourite movies (Titanic, Pirates of the Caribbean, X2: X-Men United, Ever After, Pearl Harbor, Beauty and the Beast, etc., etc.). Sturdy wooden tables surround the perimeter of the room, with a row of mirrors edging along the black wall, reflecting the area of the room and making it appear larger than it actually is. Chairs lay scattered everywhere in the room, only a few of them pushed under the tables, which are laden with various stage make-up, empty fast food bags, and scripts. Across the chairs lay various props, and bits and pieces of people's costumes.
That isn't the disturbing part – the disturbing part is all the aqua-green haired little girls hopping around the room, chattering and giggling as they jump from one person to the next doing make-up.
The figures who were disposed to getting their make-up done are currently paging through magazines, looking over their scripts, drinking lemon-water (a remedy for singing throats, Nashie always says), or yelling their brains out at one another over their disgust over their parts. At least, a certain seishi was doing so…
MoonshadowJedi looks flabbergasted at the chaotic scene. "How many sets of quintuplets are in here?" She turns to Nashie, who is examining a sheet of paper posted on the wall that has the list of acts and scenes printed on it. The taller girl turns to her friend, and grins.
"What are you talking about? Those are Taiitsukun's Nyan-Nyans. She let us borrow them. It's a lot cheaper than hiring an entire make-up crew to do it for ya." She winks as one of the Nyan-Nyans jumps in front of MoonshadowJedi, waving a makeup brush in front of her face wildly.
"I make you pretty! I make you look cool!"
At this moment, the one actor who was loudly complaining whirls on Nashie, red-gold hair flying into amber-colored eyes that look ready to turn the director into the next living s'more. Nashie blinks large eyes, and tries to look as innocent as possible, knowing already what he's nitpicking about. "What's up, Gen-chan?" The seishi glares at Nashie darkly.
"I've got a bone to pick with ya!" He begins waving the script in front of her face. "Why in the world do I gotta do this shit, huh? I don't want this part anymore than you want to be stuck in a room full of damn bees!" Nashie sighs, and rolls her eyes heavenward. MoonshadowJedi believes that this probably isn't the first time they've been in an argument like this.
"We've been through this a zillion and one times," comes the polite, if forceful, answer. "I thought you'd be perfect for the part. Besides, I assigned it to you for comical reasons."
"I ain't laughin'." Nashie ignores him and turns to MoonshadowJedi, a bright grin on her face as the seishi turns an interesting shade of red from having been ignored.
"MJ, meet Gen-chan, otherwise known as Suzaku no Shichiseishi Tasuki." She winks. "He's our faerie godmother." MoonshadowJedi chokes out a laugh as Tasuki's angry red turns into crimson embarrassment.
"I ain't no fuckin' faerie godmother! I ain't playin' the part of no woman!" A snort of amusement causes MoonshadowJedi to turn her head to wear a handsome young man is sitting, grey eyes flashing wickedly. Tasuki also turns to where one of his best friends is sitting and glares bullets.
"You've got the whining part down," Tamahome teases, turning back to his script, a smirk on his face. "All you need is the pink tutu and faerie dust."
"Shaddup!" snarls Tasuki, his hands curling into fists. He turns to Nashie, golden eyes blazing like some wronged vengeful god. "Why didn't you cast Nuriko or Yui as the faerie godmother, huh?" A violet-haired androgynous youth spins in front of the mirror before turning to face the group, a cheerful smile on pixie-like features. MoonshadowJedi blinks. Okay…talk about intimidating looks…she's really pretty…
Nuriko waves an objecting finger at Tasuki. "Because it's obvious that someone with my charms is more suited to play the role of the Queen. Plus, Hotohori-sama and I make the cuter couple." MoonshadowJedi frowns as the seishi swoons, and turns towards Nashie, a completely dumbfounded and worried look on her face.
"This is what you have to work with?" At Nashie's nod, MoonshadowJedi shivers. "I'd be scared if I were you." Nashie winces as well, ignoring the deadpan looks some of the cast sends her way.
"I already am." She looks around the makeup room, stretching her limbs before stopping in midstretch, blinking green eyes. "Um, where's Subaru? She's supposed to be getting her make-up done too…" The director begins to shift nervously, wringing her hands and starting to speed up her talking. "She's the stepmother! We can't possibly pull this play off without her! And where's Yui for that matter? Where are all the evil people?"
This time, it isn't MoonshadowJedi who jumps in to calm down the panicking director. Rather, a handsome blue-haired young man with an eternally cheerful face looks up from his script and offers Nashie a jovial grin. "Calm down, no da! I'm sure they're around here somewhere – I saw them just a few minutes ago, na no da." He frowns slightly. "Yui said she had to take care of some...uh...female matters...no da." The room goes quiet as MoonshadowJedi and Nashie share a look before Nashie lets out a frustrated groan, banging her head against the wall.
"I HATE that time of the month!" She turns to the gathered cast and MoonshadowJedi. "Does anyone here have some Tylenol or Advil? Midol? Pepto? Anything?"
Just as MoonshadowJedi shakes her head, the door to the make-up room swings open again to reveal two more members of stage crew. The girl of the group is dark-skinned, with a cute pageboy cut, and a wicked gleam in her eye that seems to match the saying on her shirt: I COOL, YOU NOT. Standing next to her is a man of an indiscernible age of obvious Latino heritage, wearing a black jumpsuit, windbreaker, and a cap pulled low over his eyes. The girl is Sake-chan, sound manager, and the man is C-Guy, sound assistant.
Nashie's eyes widen as she sidles up to Sake, a smirk appearing on her face. "Wazzuuuuup, Sake-chaaaaan?"
"Wazzuuuuup, Nashie-chaaaaan?" comes the distinct reply. They both throw gangsta signs at each other – or at least, what they perceive to be gangsta signs, and do the sliding-grip handshake before bursting out into laughter. Everyone else is the room chooses to ignore them.
"What are you doing here?" Nashie asks. "Is there something wrong with the sound?" Sake waves her hands in front of her face, shaking her head as she does so.
"Nope. Nothing at all. Just came down here to rest a bit before the show started. Plus C-Guy was tired of fumbling with all the switches. And..." She gestures to her partner, who pulls a box marked 'mikes' from his windbreak. "we need to get the actors set up with these mikes-"
"¡Claro que si! Me ayudo."
Nashie sighs and turns to MoonshadowJedi as Sake berates C-Guy for interrupting her. "C-Guy only speaks Spanish. Let Sake-chan deal with him, as I can never understand a word he's saying either." MoonshadowJedi nods in understanding, before frowning.
"He knows NO English?" Nashie winces.
"Well, he does know one phrase..."
"It's your own fault," admonishes Sake as she fumbles with a mike from a still grumbling Tasuki. "You should never have lost your temper during rehearsal that one day." A confused MoonshadowJedi gives Nashie, who is clearly embarrassed, a look.
"What was it?"
Nashie doesn't want to alert C-Guy of his favourite phrase, so she scoots up next to MoonshadowJedi and ducks her head as close to her friend's ear as comfortably and non-sexually as possible. She looks cautiously at C-Guy before whispering, "You're fired."
Well, the universe has an odd way of working, and usually, if you won't want somebody to hear something, they almost always will. Somehow, by an odd magical force current in the air, C-Guy is able to hear the quiet mutterings, and his brown eyes light up. He suddenly points at the nearest seishi, Hotohori, and grins.
"YOU FIRED!" An indignant look appears on the emperor's face.
"You dare have the presumptuousness to tell me, the Emperor of Konan, that I'm fired?" comes the heated reply, but C-Guy has already moved onto his next person, Tamahome.
"YOU FIRED!" Nashie groans and covers her ears.
"Great! There he goes again! Sake-chan, shut him up!"
"YOU FIRED!"
Sake, who is still wrestling with the mike on Tasuki, glares. "I'd love to, but once he starts, it's kinda hard to shut him up." She taps Tasuki on the shoulder. "Where are your wings?"
"I ain't wearin' no fuckin' wings!"
"Yes, you are, Gen-chan," Nashie shouts over C-Guy's hollering. "It's part of the costume I bought with my own money – my own hard-earned money, might I add – and you will wear it whether you like it or not. And if anyone opens their mouth to complain about another costume, I'm going to tie you to the ceiling. Upside-down." She pauses and a sudden uncharacteristic ecchi grin appears on her face. "Naked." The stunned silence this brings only amplifies C-Guy's yelling.
"YOU FIRED!"
"Ya pervert!" Tasuki manages to ground out. Sake swoons at Nashie's statement.
"But that's not really a punishment." She and Nashie both nod their heads, and go into full fangirl mode, complete with the twinkling eyes and the bubbles floating around them. Everyone else in the room sweatdrops.
Tasuki wrinkles his nose. "Yer both sick."
As Nashie and Sake swoon over mental images of certain…ahem, intriguing…portions of bishonen anatomy, MoonshadowJedi looks around the room, panning over the faces of the actors in the room, nodding in approval that all of them were indeed either beautiful or handsome. She blushes when she realizes that all of this is going to be on tape, and hopes that her family never catches hold of this video.
"Nashie," she asks after a moment, "who's playing the second stepsister?" This snaps Nashie out of her reverie and she blushes, scratching behind her head.
"Uh...I'd love to tell, but I honestly don't know. See, the one thing about a bishonen anime...you run out of girls too quickly." She makes a face. "And I certainly wasn't about to ask Soi to help! I think we might end up putting a Nyan-Nyan. I mean, I can't think of anyone else."
"You probably could, but were too cheap to hire that person," Tamahome interjects, looking up from his script. Nashie glares at him.
"Look who's talking, Tama-chan!" Tamahome bristles.
"I'm not cheap!" A proud look appears on his face. "I'm conservative!"
"You're cheaper than a raggedy hand-me down or a generic McDonald's Big Mac!"
"I am not!"
"You are too!"
A whistle silences both of them and they turn to Sake, who removes her fingers from her mouth, placing her fists on her hips. "Both of you are cheapskates, and that's the end of THAT conversation." She finishes putting the body mike on Tasuki, and adjusts the mike in the front so that it's as inconspicuous as possible. "Now, don't yell into it. Talk in your regular voice, only project when you're singing. There's a switch on the little box back here. Make sure someone turns it on before you go on stage, alright? And that goes for all of you too. These things are only on when you're on stage – I don't want to risk the audience hearing some the conversations that go on back here!"
"YOU FIRED!"
Hotohori frowns slightly. "I'm sure there will be some mature decorum while we're awaiting our scenes." Nuriko glares at the other seishi, hands on his hips.
"Listen to Hotohori-sama. He knows what he's talking about." The other members in the group sweatdrops. MoonshadowJedi rolls her eyes. Geez, she sure has a thing for this Hotohori guy…
"YOU FIRED!" He pauses at the unnatural silence. "Silencio. ¿Que pasa, Sake?" Sake shakes her head.
"Nada." She turns back to Nashie and MoonshadowJedi. "Hey, guys. I'll be right back. I'm going to go see if the pizza guy showed up yet." She wrinkles her nose. "I hope you have the money to pay him. We ordered, like, ten pizzas."
Nashie snorts. "That's all because SOMEONE has the hugest appetite ever on the face of the planet. Five of those are going to our leading lady, y'know?" At this moment, Chichiri stands up, placing his script on his chair and adjusting the jacket of his costume. MoonshadowJedi blinks. When he was sitting down, he looked much taller than he really was…in fact, she could have sworn Nashie may have been taller than him.
"Out of curiosity..." the blue-haired monk begins, catching Nashie's gaze, "where is our leading lady anyway, no da?"
"Miaka-chan's missing?" Nashie asks, frowning and biting her lower lip in concentration. "I hope she's not sick. She ate that entire pumpkin..." She trails off as the headset suddenly crackles to life loudly. She winces and quickly turns down the volume. "Who's there...Teki-chan! Where are you...all the way up there...Miku-chan's with you, right...Oh...okay, send him down to this all...thanks, Teki..." She grins, turning to the assembled cast members. "Hey, good news. The pizza's here."
"I bet you didn't order enough for the chorus." Tamahome gives Nashie a playful, yet somehow wicked wink. Nashie returns the favour by flipping him off.
"I ordered Chinese food for them, smart-ass," she responds with a grin. "Orange chicken, fried rice, egg roles, moo goo gai pan...hopefully, your girlfriend didn't get to it before they did." Nuriko rolls his eyes at Tamahome and Nashie's antics and walks towards the door, smoothing out the skirt part of the dress he's wearing.
"Maybe we should tie her up," he says cheerfully. "So...who's coming with me to go get those pizzas?" Nashie makes a face at him, storming right over and shoving the smaller seishi right back down in his seat. She immediately crosses her arms and waves an impertinent finger at Nuriko, who glares at Nashie and looks like he's trying to decide whether to blow a raspberry or punch Nashie square in the jaw for pushing him around.
Nashie solves this problem by suddenly winking cheekily. "Uh-uh. You are NOT going, and ending up getting pizza grease all over that lovely dress of yours." A snort. "Plus, you're nearly as bad as Miaka when it comes to food."
"I am NOT!"
"You are too! Now hush up and stay in here." Nuriko decides to give in, and childishly blows a raspberry at Nashie who just smirks and returns the favour. Sake rolls her eyes at the antics, and spins on her heel to leave, grabbing a fistful of C-Guy's windbreaker as she passes.
"I'll go get it! It can't be that bad!" She mutters something incoherent about childish people and Corn Flakes before vanishing out the door. "¡Vamos, C-Guy!"
As soon as they are gone, Nashie flicks the on button on her headset. "Mitsukake-san, are you there? I'm going to need some help in around twenty minutes, with adding the finishing touches to the set. They're going to start letting the people in at 7:30, and it's going to be chaos from there." A pause and then a nod. "Okay. Thanks. This is Nashie, over and out." Tasuki snorts.
"What are ya, some sorta radio broadcaster?" Nashie rolls her eyes and manages not to ground Tasuki into the ground with her stare.
"Shut up, Tasuki." An evil grin suddenly appears on her face and she bats innocent eyes at her friend. "You're definitely going to need those wings."
Tasuki fumes and turns an interesting shade of red. "I ain't wearin' no wings!"
"You'll look like Cupid!" Nashie ignores him, gushing on. "All those sparkly golden wings, you'll like a li'l angel!" Her eyes sparkle as she imagines her second favourite seishi surrounded by pixie dust, causing the seishi in question to get even angrier.
"I hate women!" Of course, such an enthusiastic statement requires the input of a certain okane-loving seishi, who seems quite...with his best friend's discomfort.
"Too bad. You seem to be crawling with them."
"I didn't ask your fuckin' opinion!"
"Why you…!"
The blue-haired seishi leaps at his brother seishi, and soon a dust-cloud scuffle erupts on the opposite side the room, knocking over chairs and sending make-up flying. Nashie watches with a blank face, a small tic starting to appearing in her left cheek. Her hands curl into fists, and suddenly, a hush falls over the remaining seishi and the Nyan-Nyans in the room.
With a resounding boom, Nashie pulls out her Big Stuffed Fish™ and holds is threateningly in her hand, fire burning in her eyes. The seishi not involved with the fight wisely step away from the infuriated director as she marches over to the two brawling seishi, a look of murder in her eyes.
THWUMP! THWUMP!
A moment later, two unconscious seishi lay sprawled on the floor, both of them still with their hands around the others' neck. Fortunately for Nashie, she has managed to step in just before they could do any lasting harm to the very expensive, very delicate costumes.
"Anyone else care to fight?" Nashie growls, holding the Big Stuffed Fish™ threateningly. Hotohori glances over at Tasuki and Tamahome.
"Was it necessary to knock them both senseless?" Nuriko looks at the two younger teenagers and then at Nashie and sighs, crossing his heart.
"We solemnly swear not to ignite your temper, Supreme Director."
Nashie grins and flashes a V-sign. "Don't worry, Nuri-chan. You're my favourite seishi, so I won't let any harm come to you."
MoonshadowJedi frowns. "But you like Tasuki too, and look what you did to him."
"And you have a habit of torturing your favourite characters, na no da," adds Chichiri, cocking his head to the side. "Remember Escape from the Moon, no da?" At these words, Nuriko turns very pale and gives Nashie a terrified, wide-eyed look. But Nashie doesn't seem to notice and waves her hand carelessly to dismiss the accusations.
"Oh, that's all in the past!" she chirps. "I would never dream about hurting my beloved Nuri-chan! And Gen-chan had that one coming! These costumes were very expensive." She turns to leave, chuckling under her breath. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and find Bob and Chiriko. They should be back with that pumpkin by now. Nyan-Nyans, get Gen-chan and Tama-chan cleaned up with their make-up. And Chichiri, please find Miaka, Yui, and Subaru, as you're the only one completely ready."
"Daaaa!"
Nashie gives the older youth a stern mother look. "And none of those while singing! We can't afford to add 'no da' to the beat of the music, okay?" Chichiri smiles and nods and Nashie can't help but do the same – Chichiri's smile is so infectious. "MoonshadowJedi, if Mitsukake gets back here before I do, tell him that I need his help moving a few things around the set for some last minute details, okay?"
MoonshadowJedi shrugs. "Sure. Why not? "
Just as Nashie turns to exit the make-up room, her headset crackles to life.
"Hey, Nashie," a familiar voice pipes up. "Um, we have some people here saying that they're special guests of yours." Nashie frowns. What in the world could Teki be talking about?
"Special guests? Is it a group of guys or a group of people around my age?"
"Kind of...three guys, two girls...one with a really cool looking sword...the usual. They said that you invited them at the last minute, and the guy's being all sweet and nice about it."
"Last minute...oh!" She slaps forehead and giggles a bit dimly. "I know who you're talking about! Tell 'em I'll be right down to show 'em to their seats, okay? Keep them busy for me." Teki groans from the other end of the headset and Nashie can imagine her exasperated face.
"Alright. But if this guy brings out the sword and starts whapping people with it, I'm booking it outta here."
Nashie lets out a goofy grin at the comment (knowing of course that the young man in question would never pull out a sword on an innocent crowd) before scanning the room in one more quick check before nodding her head – everything is as she wants it to be, and she turns on her heel to leave.
As soon as Nashie is gone, MoonshadowJedi turns to glance at the gathering of seishi with a resolute sigh in her head. Something had told her not to leave the college campus – why hadn't she listened to the tiny voice of wisdom all those months ago? She shifts her weight from one foot to the next, and finally plops down next to Hotohori and Nuriko, recording.
"Soooo..." she drawls. "You guys are King Max and Queen Constantina, right?" Nuriko waves to the camera, glomping onto Hotohori's arm.
"Yes, and that makes me HIS wife." MoonshadowJedi struggles not to sweatdrop as Hotohori peers at the small recording device curiously.
"Is that recording me from my best angle?"
"All your angles are best angles," Nuriko happily puts in.
"True." MoonshadowJedi looks across from her to where the nearest wall is. If I bang my head against that a couple of times, maybe they'll all just fade away...like the dream I had about the donuts eating the police officers...why am I thinking about that dream anyway...?
"You're Nashie's friend from high school, right?" Nuriko suddenly asks, a friendly expression on his face. "We haven't even been properly introduced yet. I'm Chou Ryuuen." Hotohori bows politely in MoonshadowJedi's direction, and the college student blushes slightly (why can't the guys at high school be like him?).
"And I am ruler of Konan, Emperor Saiheiti." This stops MoonshadowJedi cold, and it takes her a few moments before she can pick her jaw up from the ground where it has almost disgracefully dropped. She opens her mouth to say something and then closes again, a flurry of thoughts flying through her head.
"You're an emperor?" she finally squeals out, vaguely aware that Hotohori nods. Nashie got an emperor to play a king? What in the world is she thinking?
The door opens for the third time in ten minutes, and in walks a petite, cute young woman with wavy auburn hair and big green eyes. It's the star of show, Yuki Miaka, holding a bag that looks noticeably like the one Bob had been holding earlier in the lobby. She currently holds the box of Krispy Kremes in her hand, her mouth already filled with two of the deliciously savory and sweet donuts. She holds out the box to the rest of the cast and managed a smile.
"Hewwo! Won sum?" Chichiri glances over and smiles.
"Glad you're here Miaka, no da. But are those Krispy Kremes?" The priestess of Suzaku nods and smiles before popping another donut in her mouth.
"Hai!"
For the briefest of seconds, Chichiri, Hotohori, and Nuriko share wary glances. Then, with the natural speed that comes with being a seishi, the room is suddenly short three Celestial Warriors, leaving behind only a baffled MoonshadowJedi, protesting Nyan-Nyans, a blinking Miaka, and two unconscious seventeen-year-olds. The camera, as advanced and expensive as it is, did not even catch the departure of the three seishi, only that they were there one second and gone the next. What was that all about, Moonshadow Jedi wonders.
Her question is soon answered as Nashie stumbles back into the room, her pupils dilated and staring intently at the box of Krispy Kremes in Miaka's hand. She looks possessed, and MoonshadowJedi nearly drops her camera in shock.
"Give...me...the...donuts..." Miaka's eyes widen and she protectively huddles over the donuts like a mother hen.
"Why?"
"Don't...ask...questions...just...hand...them...over..." Miaka looks at the deranged look in Nashie's eye and decides that perhaps she should be worried, and an expression akin to fear appears on her face.
"Tamahome!" she wails. Unfortunately for her, her usual swashbuckling savior is lying behind her, on the floor, unconscious, still trying to clear all the pretty birdies out of his head. Miaka looks around for any of her seishi, finds that the only two available are comatose, and realizes that she's in very deep this time. She stuffs the donuts back into the bag, a frightful look appearing on her face as she seems to concentrate on something. And then…
"TAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The shout is the equivalent of a sonic boom, and every mirror in the make-up room shatters into a gazillion shards, so tiny that they literally turn to dust. The ground shakes viciously, knocking a stunned and now temporarily deaf MoonshadowJedi to the ground as she cradles the video camera in hopes of saving it from the ear-piercing screech. The Nyan-Nyans all yelp and cry out at the same time before disappearing in poofs of pink smoke. Nashie, eyes still glued to the Krispy Kremes, is unaffected.
Not the same can be said for Tamahome and Tasuki, who are wrenched from their whapping fish-induced sleep in the same way one would be woken up from a coma by means of an electric shock. Tasuki clamps his hands over his ears, and, with the speed his seishi powers are known for, bolts for the door, leaving only the unfortunate Tamahome to deal with his shattered eardrums.
Finally, the screech comes to a desirable end – Miaka has run out of breath.
Nashie blinks, and the manic look in her eyes fades away as she shrugs. "I just wanted some donuts. Oh, well. I'll ask Bob to go get me some." She strolls out of the room, oblivious to a twitching Tamahome and MoonshadowJedi. Miaka rushes over to Tamahome and hugs him, ignoring her love's swirly eyes.
"Tamahome!"
"Duh..."
"Tamahome!"
"Duh..."
MoonshadowJedi, still twitching on the floor, turns to face her camera, which, amazingly, is still working. She manages a weak grimace before waving cautiously at the still rolling tape.
"Why did I volunteer for this again?" she manages to mutter. "Gah...this is not what I want people to see..." She reaches for the camera and turns it off.
-à-à-
Nashie jogs down the hallway and emerges into the lobby, which is already becoming filled with perspective theatregoers. She exchanges greetings with a few that she knows before glimpsing a small cluster of fans surrounding something she cannot she. A frown works its way onto her face, and she hurries over, trying to see what all the fuss is about.
"Okay, people. Break it up. Show's in the theatre, not the lobby. C'mon, lets go find your seats."
She pulls and prods people away until they dissipate, grumbling as they move inside the hall to find their seats. She turns back to the object...that is, objects...of the crowd, a wide smile on her face.
"Ah, what would you ever do without your fans?"
A small, youthful-looking man with brick red hair tied back into a low ponytail dusts off his clothing as he gives the director a thankful smile. The pretty girl standing next to him has her arms crossed her chest, looking quite irritated that other females had laid a hand on her man.
"Arigato gozaimasu, Nashie-san," Kenshin says with a polite bow. "Those young women were certainly forward in their greetings, de gozaru ka." Nashie grins at him and gives him a noogie.
"Anything for my favourite wandering samurai." Kaoru wrinkles her nose and crosses her arms, glaring as Nashie toys with her love interest.
"Are we going to be attacked like that everywhere we go tonight?" she asks sharply. Yahiko grins at the young woman, looking every inch the mischievous teenager.
"No – that would just be Kenshin. He is after all the girl-magnet of the group."
"Oro...?" An angered Kaoru takes once glance at the confused Kenshin and then smacks Yahiko in the back of the head.
"Shut up, Yahiko! You don't know what you're talking about!"
Nashie decidedly ignores the two as they argue over a confused Kenshin and turns to the remaining two members of the group – a tall, handsome man with a grudging look on his face and a beautiful Japanese woman wearing a fitted red and black kimono, who watches Kenshin with a playful intentness on her features.
"Hey, guys," she says with a wave. She gestures to where Kaoru is still yelling at Yahiko and winces. "Um...are you sure you wanna sit with them? I can get some other seats for you, if you want."
"I don't even wanna be here…" Sano grumbles. "The brat and the hussy made me come." Megumi laughs, though there is a bit of an edge in it as she cuts her eyes to Sano's slouched form.
"Well, I couldn't very well leave Kenshin-sama in the hands of that poor, skinny little girl over there. And you came because Kaoru didn't want you spending your night in down getting drunk and gambling." She pokes Sano with a lighthearted finger. "See? You're already in a bad mood."
"Whatever." Nashie rolls her eyes.
"Well...you guys are in luck! No more attacks from fangirls…or fanboys. You are in the balcony seats across from my other special groups of invites. Sounds fun, eh?" Megumi nods.
"Thrilling!" Kenshin offers a brief smile from between Kaoru and Yahiko, who are still yelling their brains out at each other. Nashie feels sorry for the diminutive redhead, but decides not to come in between the two bickering teenagers.
"Thank you for your generosity," Kenshin says. "We're very grateful, de gozaru ka."
"Anytime, hon," responds Nashie with a wink at him and Sano. "I'll do whatever I can to protect my bishonen." A horrified look appears on Kaoru's face as she stops in mid-argument with Yahiko.
"Oh, no! Not you, too!"
Yahiko's only response is to burst out laughing. Nashie sweatdrops slightly as Kaoru begins pounding the unfortunate boy into the ground.
"Hehehe...let me show you guys to your seats…"
She gestures for the quintet to follow her as they exit the lobby, with Kaoru beating down Yahiko as they go. As they depart, a gorgeous young man wearing a ninja outfit enters into the lobby, light brown hair swept back from sharp ice blue eyes hidden behind dark glasses as they scan the room for the missing director. With him is an attractive dark-haired girl wearing a black crop top and black gi pants, her hair pulled sharply back into a ponytail. In her hand she clutches a bow, the case of arrows strapped to her back. With their darkly-tinted sunglasses and severe expressions, they look as if they both stepped out of The Matrix.
A frown appears on the young man's face when he fails to find the director. He unconsciously checks the nun chuck strapped to his side before striding towards the theatre doors in earnest. He earns a few stares from the surrounding crowd, but no one makes a move to stop him. The girl pauses for a minute, doing a quick sweep of the room, looking both anonymous and downright scary as she does so. The few who catch her eye shiver and turn back to their own business.
"We will find out the mystery of the Text, tonight."
-à-à-
Author's Note: (2-21-05) This is the new format of all the chapters. At this rate, I can shorten the time it takes me to upload. Groovy, right? All of the author's notes will still be contained at the end of all the numbered chapters, not the sub-chapters (at least…well, I might change my mind…again). Well, except for this one, so you guys know what's going on. Toodles!