My first fanfic for Harry Potter! I hope you'll like it. I will appreciate it if you'll leave a review after reading it and tell me what you think! Thanks!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. All credits to J.K. Rowling for the characters.

There was a nervous tension in the air as everyone in the Burrow waits anxiously for the answer of Hermione Granger, to the kneeling Ron Weasley in front of her. They were encircling the couple; Harry could feel the vibrating excitement from everyone. He was shaking too, but not from excitement. He was suppressing the urge to grab Hermione and run away from everyone or go down on both knees in front of her too and beg her to marry him instead. He did neither, instead he slipped out of the circle silently and left, feeling his heart break into pieces. What he never saw was Hermione looking at him while he leaves.

He felt guilty from going but he just can't stay and watch the girl he loves be someone else's forever. He knew he can make excuses later for leaving, but he doesn't wish to see either of them yet. He needs to compose himself first. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Hermione or Ron. He was surprised to see that he had apparated to Hogsmeade, and on his way to Hogwarts. Fitting, he thought, for he always thought of Hogwarts as his home. He wandered along the grounds, lost in his thoughts. It was unusually quiet, students were on their vacation, and he was free to wander without worrying on attracting attention. He stopped at the black lake where he and Hermione used to hang out together. He watched as the sun sets over it, but instead of the usual peacefulness that it brings him, he can feel nothing but hollowness.

They have wandered this part of the castle often, talking, laughing, or just enjoying each other's company. Why didn't he appreciate those precious moments before? Why didn't he see then how precious she is? The answer came to him immediately. He just never saw her like that. He always took her for granted, knowing she will always be there for him. Never realized that the girl he used to treat as a sister would crawl into his heart and stay there. Never realized that even after the battle ended. Never realized that he loves her with all his very being until she almost died in front of him, when those loose Death Eaters took her to get their revenge on him. And when he finally realized, he got scared and now it was too late.

An involuntary sound escaped his throat – somewhere between a groan and a sob. He raised his hands to rub his face and noticed how they were shaking. He only then realized that his whole body was tense and shaking at the same time. He felt like choking, his throat tightening from trying to control something that threatens to come out. Giving in, he threw his head back and shouted. He fell on his knees and pounded the ground with his fists, shouting, cursing himself for being a coward, and for being selfish to wish that Hermione won't accept Ron's proposal. He was breathing heavily, head bent, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw the concerned face of Professor McGonagall. He slowly stood up, but kept his head bent, ashamed of himself not just for breaking down but for his thoughts as well.

They stayed silent for awhile, until he controlled his shaking and his breathing returned to normal. He turned his face to Professor McGonagall. "I'm sorry." He said his voice husky from shouting.

"There's no need for that, Potter." She said, smiling faintly. "There are no students to hear you even if you decide to shout and break everything in sight." When he didn't respond, she sighed deeply. "I always admired your courage, Harry. You've always needed that since you were a boy. Because of that courage and love, you have freed our world from Lord Voldemort. You have given wizards and muggles peace of mind for nearly five years now. So how come, you can't give yourself that peace too? Why can't you use that courage to be happy?"

He turned his face toward the lake, gathering his thoughts. "Doing that might take some people's happiness away." He said without looking at her.

"Are you even sure that she's happy?"

He looked sharply at her. "H-How…" he stammered.

McGonagall sighed, exasperated. "Anyone who has eyes would know, even before you know yourself." She said and smiled softly at his startled expression. "I think it was after the battle. You two were almost inseparable than ever before. But it was when you failed to continue your relationship with Miss Weasley that it has become obvious. At least to those who observes you better."

Harry gave a rueful sigh. "I never really saw her that way before." He confessed. "I love her of course, but only as a sister. Or at least that's what I've convinced myself. I know she loves me too but I know she always fancied Ron…and so…after the battle, we were both wounded and traumatized and wanted a normal life. And she seems to find that on him so how could I not give her that?"

"Let me ask you this, Harry. If you develop feelings for Hermione while you were hunting those Horcruxes despite liking someone else at that time, do you think that could not happen to her as well? A lot can happen at those times. Having no one but each other to turn to, of course it is possible, Harry. And if you worry that she loves someone else, that she wants a normal life, don't you think that she worries for those same reason as well?"

Harry stared at McGonagall, speechless. How he wish those could be true. And knowing Hermione, it is possible. But then, the obvious came back to him and all hope evaporated. "It's a little too late for that Professor. She'll get married to Ron soon. And I love both of them. How could I ever think of hurting them? All of the Weasleys too. They were my family as well. They have sacrificed everything to help me, lost a family because of me. How could I take the happiness they feel for Ron by acting selfishly?" He asked desperately.

"Potter…" McGonagall started. "When will you stop blaming yourself for the things that you never did? You are not the one who killed Fred, you are not the reason either." McGonagall fumed, rounding on him. "The Weasleys know what you've been through and they love you. They will never hate you for choosing to be happy."

Harry didn't say a word. He kept on looking at the lake. McGonagall knew that Harry will never do anything that could hurt the people he cares for even if it forsakes his happiness.

"You won't be going back to the burrow, will you?" McGonagall said after awhile.

Harry shook his head. "I can't. Not just now." He said, feeling ashamed.

"You can stay here as long as you like." She offered.

"Thank you, Professor, but I think I needed to be away for a few days."

McGonagall nodded. "I understand."

"I better go, Professor. Thank you." He turned to go and started to walk out of Hogwarts and disapparate.

Harry, without even realizing it, has gone back to Grimmauld Place, grabbed Hermione's old beaded bag and apparated to the Forest of Dean. He pulled out the old tent and with a flick of his wand, assembled itself. He rose, and did the usual enchantments that he and Hermione used to cast out of habit. Those were desperate and terrible times. He felt afraid, frustrated, even lost, but he never felt lonely. Hermione was always there for him, sharing his fears and frustrations, but never left him. She was such a great comfort to him.

He went inside the tent, casting the spell for those little balls of fires Hermione was so adept in producing, scooping them in jars, and laid on his bed bunk, watching them. He remembered the night they danced, and an involuntary smile lifted his lips. It was at that moment that he felt something more for Hermione. If he acted on those feelings back then, if he chose to acknowledged his feelings for her then, instead of suppressing them in fear, if he kissed her then, would everything be different now? Would he be the one on his knees in front of her, asking her to spend the rest of her life with him?

A loud crack! snatched him out of his thoughts, and without realizing it, had drawn his wand out, pointing it at the tent's entrance. He silently walked at the entrance, gripping his wand tight, in preparation for battle. How can anyone find him? Did he not cast all the spells properly? He and Hermione were never found under those spells.

He pointed his wand at the ready as the tent flap lifted, revealing a very startled Hermione. He sported the same expression too. Then, she was in his arms, hugging him tightly. Every thoughts flew out of his mind, pains lifted, and he was hugging her back. They went on like that for a long time. Then a thought came to him.

"How did you find me? Your spells always work. How come…" He said, pulling back.

Hermione laughed. "They do work. No one can find us under those protective enchantments." She pointed out.

"Yes, but – oh!" he said, realizing what she meant. Of course the spells work on protecting both of them. He forgot how Hermione adjusted those spells to include both of them so as to always find each other if they ever found themselves apart during the horcrux hunt.

"Exactly." She said, smiling at him.

"Well, I guess the next question is why are you here?" he said, turning to sit on the bunk bed.

Hermione looked at him with a strange expression, not answering his question. Then she bent her head to hide her face and went to sit with him. "I…when you left the Burrow, I just panicked." She said quietly. She turned her face up at him and he saw the fear in her eyes. "The last time you went without a word, sneaking past us, you went and gave yourself up to Voldemort to get yourself killed!" she said, looking at him in accusation. "And if you did die back then Harry, I swear I'll kill you myself!"

"I…I'm sorry." Harry said, feeling guilty. "How's your engagement then?" he said in a forced cheerful voice he could manage. "You shouldn't leave Ron like that to look for me. I'm fine. I just fancied a camping trip so you shouldn't worry."

"I told you. I panicked when I saw you leave and everyone sort of panicked as well and they were all looking for you now." She said blushing a little.

"Merlin!" said Harry, in shocked, running his hands on his already messy hair. They will all think he'd been abducted by those loose Death Eaters just like what happened to Hermione two years ago.

"But don't worry though; I guess after they talked to Professor McGonagall, they'll stop looking for you. I talked to her that's why I figured out where you've gone."

He looked sharply at her. "You've talked to her?" he said, tensing.

"Yes, she told me you've been there and told her you wanted to be alone for awhile."

"That's all she said?" he asked, guardedly.

"Yes. Harry, what's wrong?" she asked softly. Her face showing deep concern.

He averted his face from her. "Nothing, really. You should go back Hermione, before they start to worry about you too. I'll come back tomorrow."

Hermione didn't move or say anything. He was surprised to see her head bent when he look at her. "Hermione?"

"I…I'm…that is…I am not very enthused to go back, you see…" she muttered.

Harry stared at her, not getting what she meant.

She sighed and turned her eyes at him. "Do you mind if I stay here with you for tonight? I could use a little away time too."

"What about Ron?" He asked, confused.

"Well…you see, that is the reason I want to be away." She mumbled, and then her face turned pleading. "Harry…I'm not sure if I want to be with him forever yet."

"What?" All his emotions were in turmoil. Here he was, leaving for awhile to let her be happy without letting her see how his world was coming apart, accepting that Ron is what she wants, whom she loves and now she turns up here all of a sudden, announcing she wasn't sure about marrying Ron. He didn't know if he wanted to shake the hell out of her or kiss her then and there but God, how he wanted to do something to her. He did neither and rose to his feet, rubbing his face with his hands in exasperation.

"You're not…sure…" he said, his voice shook from containing his emotions.

"Yes…I love him but I am not sure if it's the right kind of love." Hermione whispered.

"The right kind of…" Harry said faintly and his patience snapped. "Damn it, Hermione! You're not making this easy! Why don't you make up your mind now? Why do you say such a thing only now?" He shouted.

"I don't know! Okay? I don't!" she yelled back. "All I know is when you left silently, I panicked and all I can think about is reaching you, to hold your hand and keep you safe by my side. I just forgot everything then, even the man kneeling in front of me!" She stood in front of him, glaring.

Harry glared back at her. "Isn't he what you want? He can give you a normal life, Hermione! Isn't that what you want? You said so yourself!"

"It was! Until I realized I want something else that I can't even figure out!" she said, frustrated.

Harry was looking at her, searching her face. "What is it that you really want Hermione?" he said in a measured tone. She started to turn away, but he grabbed her hand and turned her back to face him. "Tell me!"

"Harry…" she said, trying to turn away.

"Tell me! Look at me Hermione! Tell me!"

"I DON'T KNOW! And I hate not knowing something but I just don't know! Let go of me!" she squirmed.

"No. Not until we figure out what it is that you truly want." He said, tightening his hold on her.

"Damn it, Harry! Why does it matter?" she demanded.

"It matters to me, Hermione! I already prepared myself to do anything just to make sure you'll be happy. So far I am managing it quite well even if I feel as though my world is coming apart. I accustomed myself already to just love you from a far so long as you're happy even if it was with someone else. And Ron, being my best friend, I thought it's as well that you will be together at least I can make both of you happy. So why are you saying this to me now, Hermione? Why?" He said, shaking her.

"Why didn't you say a single thing to me then? I always thought you love me only as a sister. Ron said so too. You told him that didn't you?" She accused.

"I…Hermione, I didn't know back then…"

"Of course you didn't. How can you fall in-love with some bossy, meddling, know-it-all! And to be honest, if they asked me back then of my feelings for you I would have said the same. That I love you as my brother. That's what I always tell myself! You said you already prepared yourself to give up everything for my happiness, well, Harry Potter, let me tell you, I've been doing that for you since first year! Although my feelings then were not the same as they are now but still, I know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. All I wanted was to be of help to you. I never expected anything in return. I started liking Ron because I know what it feels like to be always put aside, to watch the one you love like someone else. And I do love him, but then, you…." She stopped and took a deep breath, shoulders sagging. She looked at him with defeat in her eyes. "I don't even know what I want anymore Harry…I've never been so lost in my life. I mean, how can I not want to marry the person I'm supposed to be in-love with?" she said dejectedly.

Harry can see her frustrations and decided to figure this out once and for all.

"Do you love him?" he asked.

"Yes." she said without hesitation.

"Are you in-love with him?" he said slowly.

"I…" she hesitated.

"Do you love me?" he asked softly.

"You know I do." She said sincerely.

"Are you in-love with me?" he asked, so low he wasn't sure if she heard him at all. But she did, for her eyes rounded in shock, and hadn't uttered a single thing. "Tell me." He said softly, not letting her gaze away from him.

"I…I don't know…" she said shakily, fear in her eyes.

Harry searched her face, he can see that she's afraid, and lost but there is such tenderness in her eyes as she gazed back at him. As if asking him to tell her the things that she didn't know about herself. So he did just that. He lowered his face and pressed his lips against her, hoping that they can find the answer together. Both of them were trembling. Their lips were touching but not moving, getting themselves accustomed to one another, trying to figure out their feelings. And then, at once, they were really kissing, moving their lips against each other in surrender. Both of them are through fighting their feelings for each other. And that acknowledgement was both painful and relief.

Harry clutched her tightly to him, afraid that if he let go, if he opened his eyes he'll realized that this was all just a dream. But then Hermione was holding on to him the same way and realized that they were experiencing the same fears. After awhile their kissing changed. It was not only the soft acknowledgement and surrender but Harry felt something fiercer now. A need, desperation, a hunger that he never felt before. He can feel Hermione's hands around his neck, gently pulling his hair, at the same time clutching him more firmly against her, and he angled his mouth to take more of her. They paused for breath, looking at each other in perfect understanding. Harry lifted her off her feet and carried her to the bed. He laid on top of her, searching her face for hesitations. But he found none and that's as far as his control could go. He pressed his mouth on her, mingling his tongue with hers, tasting her. He can feel her body molding onto him, and noticed, with a surprised satisfaction, that their body fitted well together. He left her mouth, his lips traveling down her neck and he heard her moan softly under him.

"Take off my clothes. Now." She said, breathless. He did just that and took off his own clothes as well. They stared at each other for a small time, getting accustomed with each other. Slowly, Hermione traced his chest with her hand, traveling down his abdomen, and further down still. His body shivered at her touch but he didn't move, breathing heavily all the time. When her hand trailed down between his thighs, he grabbed her hand and kissed her hard.

He gave her the same treatment, trailing kisses down her throat, nibbling and sucking, running his tongue on her skin, wanting to leave an imprint, a mark that will claim her to be his. She gasped sharply when his mouth closed on her nipple, sucking, biting it softly.

"Harry…" she moaned, squirming under him. "Please."

"Hush." He said, but obligingly aligned his body with her until they were eye to eye, gently spreading her thighs with his knee, all the while looking at her eyes. And then he thrust into her, grunting in pleasure. He has never felt so alive before. Every nerve in his body were buzzing, tingling, filling him with new sensations. He felt Hermione stiffened and he stilled.

"Are you okay?" he said breathless. His own body tense with holding back.

"Yes." she said, smiling softly at him. He lowered his face at her and kissed her as he thrust back. He tried to control himself, thrusting slowly, wanting this to last. But Hermione was not making it easy for him. She started to squirm under him, moving her hips to meet his thrusts. He took hold of her hips stilling her. He was on verge of coming apart and he wants to savor this very minute that he could only dream about, knowing that this night might be the only time they can have.

"Harry, please." Hermione moaned, biting his lip softly and he lost it. His thrust sped up, became harder until he felt Hermione convulsed under him, her teeth fastened on his neck, her arms clutching him tightly, her legs wrapped around him, her muscles from the inside squeezing him, urging him to join her in oblivion and with a shudder, surrendered at last. His whole body shook, clutching the sheets in a death grip, and creating a sound he wasn't sure if a grunt or a sob.

After awhile, he begun to get his thoughts back, still breathing heavily, he realized he was laying on top of Hermione, her hand stroking his hair absentmindedly. He stirred and looked at her softly. She was looking at him with such tenderness, he feels as if he will burst like a bubble. He felt her breathe with some difficulty and he slowly lifted himself off of her. He gently pulled back from her, wincing at the sudden coldness of not being inside her. He was till kneeling between her legs when he noticed the red streak of blood on her thighs. Harry gently touch the fluid between her thighs, coating his hand with both their fluids and her blood. He looked at Hermione as the realization slowly dawned on him. She slowly sat up straight, staring at him, tears running down her face and he grabbed her face, kissed her hard, staining her face with blood, not caring himself of tasting her blood and they begun to shake together. Tears running down their faces, but still unable to stop kissing each other.

After some time, they were laying close together, arms around each other, staring silently at each other. "Why?" Harry asked.

She knows what he's asking and smiled softly at him. "Do you know that I never even came close to wanting to do this with Ron? After some time in our relationship, even our kisses became ritual to me. It never even crossed my mind, to be honest."

Harry didn't answer, waiting.

"I guess I've always known that I'm in-love with you but I was just so scared of admitting them even to myself for fear that once I acknowledged them, they will be so permanent and I can't help myself then."

"I love you." Harry said softly, staring at her eyes.

She smiled at him. "I love you too." She said in wonder. Her smile growing wider at the relief of saying it out loud.

Harry drew her closer to him, stroking her hair.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered. "We'll be punished for this, won't we?"

"I'll take it all." He said softly. "I'll take all the punishment."

She kissed him softly and held him more tightly. "You won't be alone. You are not alone anymore. There's the two of us now."

They fell asleep, wrapped around each other, ready to take on whatever consequences their actions will take. Knowing that whatever happens, neither of them will face it alone.