AN: My first published Heya. Feedback would be lovely. Tried to do this tastefully, and it was certainly more about the plot than the accidental smutt :)
Review and tell me what you think? I also have a part 2 in my head for this, to perhaps give it the ending we all know it should have, but that all depends on the interest ;)
THIS IS NOT REAL. I own nothing, and no offense is intended, I worship Heather and Naya…like really.
Heather's POV.
M for a reason.
I'm careful not to let our eyes meet. I just can't.
The crowd is roaring, screaming. Our heads are low as we take a bow, our hands joined. When the lights go down I hold on for just a second longer than I should, but somehow I can't let go.
Her hand feels small in mine, delicate and soft. The heat of a physical connection between us is like a bucket of ice-cold water over the burning ache that's lived in my chest the last two months, only I know as soon as her fingers leave mine, I'll have to pay for my temporary reprieve.
I know the fire around my heart will be back with a vengeance, an unadulterated need, to burn me alive as I lie alone in my hotel room tonight.
When we perform, we are set free.
Ever since that night, when fuelled by wine and the comfort we find only in each other, we let our lips touch, it has been this way.
In front of thousands of pairs of eyes we are safe, our hands can brush, and I can stare deep into her chocolate eyes until I forget everything. I can dare to let myself live, let my life feel complete, neither of us have to face the danger, or acknowledge the tightrope we're balancing so precariously on.
In front of thousands of pairs of eyes we are safe. Alone, we are not.
Pandora's box…That's how she described it, it was just the metaphor I was floundering for, as I desperately tried to ignore the flush on my cheeks and the way my lips tingled, screamed, ached to touch hers again.
So here we are, Heather and Naya, once a two-shot, now we're just caught playing a seemingly endless game of avoidance, denial and damage control.
Another week has slithered away. Another state. Another show. Sometimes I wonder why we're doing this…why we're fighting the gravity that is constantly trying to pull us together…
Then the phone rings, and he's calling me. I'm saying my lines just right – 'I'm fine, I miss you, I love you'. My acting classes are paying off, and he's buying every word, he misses the break in my voice as we say goodbye – she wouldn't.
I have a life…him, my family, Glee, Fox… too much to gamble with on a relationship that might not even work, for starters I'm not gay…or at least I wasn't.
But that again, all these things that we can't risk, do they really weigh up to more than our happiness? I don't think so. Maybe Naya does? Maybe she's happy just to go on, maybe she doesn't need me like I need her.
Then I can almost see the image of her dark eyes full of pain, wanting, desperation, every time she looks into mine, and I know I'm lying to myself.
xxxxx
"Hemo she needs you" Dianna insists with a small smile that says 'I know you'll do the right thing' and an apology in her eyes that I know I don't deserve.
So now I'm leaning against her hotel room door, my hand shakes as I force it to rap against the hardwood, "It's me" I call out, the sound of my own voice startling me, "Heather" I add weakly, incase she forgot.
The door cracks and I'm inside, my breath almost leaving me as I close it behind me.
Her face is tearstained, her eyes watery. She's wearing an oversized t-shirt of mine that I didn't even realise I'd lost.
"Naya…" I don't have time to think, plan or feel, my body takes over and I'm wrapping her in my arms, pushing us both back onto the bed.
When we land her head is against my chest, her hands clinging to my shirt as she sobs unintelligibly, about failed mics and earpieces on the wrong setting.
I'm holding her close to me, our fronts flush together, with one hand I'm rubbing her back, and with the other I'm combing through her hair, still damp from the shower.
"It's okay…you were amazing…it's okay" I'm whispering, my lips so close to her ear that it doesn't even register that I should hesitate before I'm kissing her temple, her cheek, her hair.
We stay like that, wound easily together, just letting time slide past. My eyes close as I trace my fingers along her cheekbones, neck and the line of her jaw. I inhale deeply, saving every little detail, carefully committing it to memory, for all the nights I'm going to need it, the ones I don't even want to think about, the ones when she wont be there.
The sobs have been quiet for a while, and I feel her draw in a slow steadying breath which tells me she's about to look up at me. When she does I don't think twice about leaning down towards her.
"Heather…" she whispers, her voice a perfect split of warning and want, as I close the gap between us. As soon as our lips touch I know that I just lit a match in a tank of gasoline – but I don't care.
Naya's upset is soon forgotten, and our kisses are growing heated and hungrier. My hands are running up her t-shirt, the smoothness of her skin making my head spin.
Her hands are in my hair, pulling me close, telling me all that I know she's too scared to say, "I want you, come closer, don't stop'…and I don't.
I let my tongue move over her lips and soon enough they part and we're kissing harder, faster, enjoying the new dimension. I can feel it taking over me – passion, need, all the emotions of the past eight weeks pouring out like blood from a wound, driving me on.
Her shirt hits the floor and I'm yanking her bra off over her head, I don't have the time or patience to fumble with the clasp.
As I tentatively reach down and take an erect nipple into my mouth, she moans and her back arches off the bed – it makes me shudder, and I'm suddenly painfully aware of the heat building between my thighs, "Shit."
The millisecond of hesitation gives me away, and as she pushes into a sitting position beneath me, I'm utterly terrified she's getting ready to run away.
My heart almost stops.
Instead she slides out from under me, and pushes me back to the bed by my shoulders, relieving me of my clothes.
As she rids me of my panties – and discards her own, there's another pause and our eyes meet. I barely dare to breathe, too afraid to shatter the moment, painfully aware I'm laying naked on a bed, with all my flaws out there for her to see.
I begin to close my thighs, suddenly conscious.
"Heather" she breathes out again, and she's on top of me, our bare bodies pressed together, the contact causes us both to moan.
Her mouth finds mine and all is right in the world again, I kiss her hungrily, nipping at her lower lip, my tongue dancing in and out of my mouth, in a slightly sloppy way – but I'm so enthralled and turned on that I don't care.
As she places one knee on either side of my thigh and brings herself down to rest on me, I'm surprised by the trial of slick heat that covers my skin. I've imagined this hundreds of times, and yet it just never really occurred to me that she'd be so hot, so wet and so ready…for me.
She's attacking my neck when I slide a hand down between our bodies, and as my fingers touch her slick folds, I groan. She gasps into my collarbone, and I can feel my own wetness intensifying at the sound.
My fingers are circling her clit before I have time to wonder how the fuck I know what to do, and I feel her spread her legs wider, rubbing down on my hand.
As I pick up the pace she forgets my neck and pushes herself up, one hand either side of my head to look into my eyes.
Her jaw is slack, and a thin sheen of perspiration is starting to cover her forehead. Her breathing is ragged, and her irises are all dark chocolate, and black coffee and lust.
Without thinking as she rubs against my hand, I slip a finger back and let it slide inside her, my eyes trained to her face.
Her eyes snap shut and her head flops back as she pushes her hips down to push me deep inside her.
"Heather" she groans out again, and I whimper in response, my own need hammering on me so hard that it hurts. Almost as if she heard my thoughts, she's leaning down into my neck again, her teeth graze my lightly as her fingers find my clit.
I almost come at the first touch, and I feel her smirk and kiss me harder. She's already tightening around two of my fingers, and when she slips two of her own inside me, instantly touching a place that I didn't know existed, she has my eyes in the back of my head and my lips whispering "Shit".
She kisses the curse away.
"Together" she whispers and places a slow deliberate lick along my ear. I pump into her hard, knowing I have only seconds left. My fingers are buried knuckle-deep within her tight walls, my thumb on her clit, while she works me over like she's been manipulating my body all of her life.
As she touches that spot one more time, I'm coming harder than I ever have in my life, and also louder. It must be enough to set Naya off, because I can feel her clench and unclench on my fingers as her body shudders too.
She's collapsed, half on top of me, half off. Her hand is tracing patterns across my hipbones, as we bask in our post orgasm haze.
She's wrapped up in my arms so tight, that for a fleeting second I wonder if she can breathe. I loosen my hold just a fraction, but she feels it all the same.
"Heather, I…we should…" she's sitting up, her hair still ruffled, her lips swollen and the faintest red glow colouring her cheeks. She's beautiful. I'm breaking.
I know I shouldn't but the selfish part of me speaks anyway, I let my eyes meet hers, "Please" it comes out as barely a whisper, but I know she hears as she leans down to kiss me again, this time gently, without the urgency of before.
We're kissing each other like we love each other…and I never want to stop.
I'm pouring my heart into every little movement, every slip of my lips against hers, every brush of my fingers across her perfect cheekbone.
As our kisses turn salty I realise I'm crying, or maybe she is? She must have tasted it too, as we pull apart slightly, to study each other's faces, both of our cheeks are stained with tears.
Suddenly fear is hot in my chest, that can't be the last kiss, she can't get up and put on her clothes, it can't be over just yet. I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop the words from tumbling out, my voice all husked and sincere, "I love you."
A fresh stream of tears rolls down her face as she smiles back at me sadly and replies, "I love you too."
Minutes later and we're kissing again, our hands exploring each other's bodies, mapping every dimple, curve and scar, just like it's the last time…because it is.
When her fingers find their way back between my thighs, I'm already wet and she slips inside me effortlessly as I trail my fingers down her abs to circle her bud. Our lips barely part as we gently and carefully grind each other up.
"I love you…I love you so much…I love you" I'm whispering in her ear like a mantra between kisses.
I can feel our tears soaking the pillows, but we don't stop. As I slide a single finger inside her, she exhales heavily into my mouth, her eyes flutter shut, and I realise. If this is the last time I get to have her, then I want to have her completely, in every way.
She groans in surprise when I slip off her fingers, and her eyes are full of questions as she watches me kiss lovingly down her and settle between her legs.
When I arrive at my destination, I'm suddenly nervous, I'm kissing the inside of her thigh as my head spins. I don't know how to do this, I want it so bad, I just don't know how to make it perfect.
As always she senses my hesitation, and a caramel hand is tangled in my blonde hair, gently guiding me back up to her face.
"It's okay" she's telling me.
"I want to, I'm just…I don't know how…"I trail off.
"I love you" she replies simply as she flips me onto my back, and moves down my body.
Now she's kissing my thighs and I'm nervous still.
"Nay…no ones ever…done that…ever."
She looks up and her eyes meet mine. The tears have stopped now, but I can't help thinking that the emotion on her face is the most raw, passionate and beautiful thing that I have ever seen.
"Good" she replies simply, and she's licking up my folds.
I moan loudly, reaching out for her dark locks. The sensation is foreign, yet addictive, the sight of her below me, and the warm wet feel of her working my bud, slipping in and out of me, quickly has a delicious tension building in my stomach.
She takes me slowly, building me up one step at a time, no hurry, just love.
"I love you so much" I gasp out.
In reply she slides two fingers deep inside me, as she continues to suck my clit.
I'm almost embarrassed at the unfamiliar spurt of liquid as I'm coming into her mouth, but she moans loudly and laps it up as if it were honey.
As my body shudders back down from its high – the most intense orgasm of my life, I'm already pulling her up towards me, needing her desperately to be wrapped back up in my arms, safe and close, before we lose each other again.
Review if you want a part 2…I'm still undecided and wholly unsure on how this will be received.