She could've killed me, and ended every second of this misery. Life is hell, and I was on my knees, begging for Emma to end it right there. Why? What stopped her from pulling the trigger?

As the three drove to Storybrooke not a word was said after the altercation between Emma and Lily. Emma looked tense, her knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel as tight as she could. As for Regina, Lily had no idea what was crossing through her mind after the scene with Robin. Unable to keep her stare out the window, Lily decided it was best if she slept the rest of the drive, to let her mind unwind.

"Should we wake her?" Regina sneered, standing outside the yellow car.

"She'll probably wake as soon as I get back in." Emma sighed, carrying the few bags of Regina's to her doorstep for her. Although pissed, Regina still thanked Emma before going inside. The last thing Emma wanted was to be alone with Lily, but it was inevitable. She had to drive her to either Grannies or the sheriffs station. If Lily was going to cause trouble and try to run away, she was going to be locked up. However, Emma knew that if she locked her up that the anger she was already harbouring would explode. Shrugging, Emma opened the door and sat back down. Lily lift her head, sucking in a lungful of breath as she squinted her eyes open.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"Storybrooke. Just dropped Regina off."

"Now what? I want to get this over so I can leave."

Emma withheld her glare.

"That depends."

"On?"

"You. Are you going to try running away again?" The stare off between the two women couldn't have been more intense.

"No, I'm not. But that doesn't mean I want to be here any longer than I have to be."

"Oh don't worry about that."

"Good, then where are we going now?"

"I'll get you a room at Grannies." Emma started the car, heading towards the diner. Silence, not a word being said, although many needed to be. Emma considered saying her part, although she had started in the street, she knew that wasn't the place to start. Instead she was waiting for the right moment. Lily on the other hand, was building up as many walls and defensive maneuvers as she could. Letting Emma back into her life would destroy her, so her only option was to reject her.

Emma opened the door for Lily, whom was complaining under her breath the whole time, and had her sit at the booth she always sat at. Waving down Ruby, she sat across from Lily.

"Hey Em. Who's your friend?"

"We're not friends." Lily distastefully sneered, arms crossed over her chest. Blatantly pissed. Ruby mouthed a sorry to Emma.

"I came to book a room for her, if Granny has a room available."

"Sure, I'll go check after I make my rounds. You want anything?"

"No, we're good. Thanks though." As Ruby walked away, Lily watched, eyebrows knit together, eyeing the girl up and down.

"You know, Emma, I bet she's a nice lay, just your type. Unpredictable." She was trying to push buttons. Emma started grinding her teeth as her jaw clenched.

"Definitely." She responded sarcastically.

"Disgusting." She scoffed, offended.

"I was joking. I don't have a type."

"Everyone has a type."

"Lily, you don't-" Emma stopped midsentance as Ruby approached. That made Lily's eyebrows raise, realization beaming in her eyes.

"You're not out, are you?" Lily spoke loud enough for Ruby to hear.

"Ahem. What was that about? Anyway, Emma, Gran said there's a room ready, the one you stayed in when you first came here." Ruby handed a key to Emma. "The usual rate, just pay at the end of the week."

"Thanks." Emma partially dismissed her, embarrassed from Lily's accusation. The secret was true, that she was a lesbian, but the secret wasn't Lily's to tell. Everything about Emma was private, the last thing she ever wanted aired around town was her sex-life. "Come on, Lily. We're going."

"What, did I hit a sensitive area?" Being grabbed by the wrist, Emma dragged her out of the building, and down the street to the hotel area. Steam could almost be seen leaving Emma's head, if it were cold enough, however the feeling of satisfaction was lacking for Lily. Hurting her friend was her goal, but she didn't expect it to backfire on herself. Lily was swarmed with the same guilt that Emma was treading through, without knowing it.

Emma opened the door, pulling Lily through it before she released her grip. She slammed the door behind her. They both stood in the room, Emma at the door, and Lily at the bed.

"Look-" Emma cut her off.

"-No. Don't say a word. You're going to stay in here until I come back."

Before Lily could say anything Emma had already left, another wall shaking slam to the door behind her. A humming noise sounded from behind the door, the sound of a protection spell being cast. She assumed it was the heater. If Lily hadn't been as equally pissed, she would have gone after her, like she did when they were teenagers, instead she sat on the bed. How long was it going to take?

Emma had marched herself down the street again, opting to stomp her way towards the sheriffs department rather than drive. Fresh air and walking would clear her head. That or punching a few trees. The nerve of Lily.

Hours passed, still no sign of Emma's return. Growing restless and tired, Lily settled for a shower.

Emma had talked to her parents, on advice. Somehow a visit with them hadn't given her the clear head she wanted, but a visit with Henry always seemed to calm her down. Taking in a long, drawn out breath, Emma prepared for the hell she created by locking her in a room. The door opened, and Emma walked inside. No initial sign of Lily, until she heard the shower running. Good. That gave her time to mentally prepare the speech she had been mulling over.

Drying off, she wrapped a robe around her body. Lily opened the door, startled to see Emma sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Oh." She muttered disappointedly before leaning against the door frame. "Didn't think you'd be back tonight. It's been a long time since I was locked in a room."

"I almost wasn't going to."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm still pissed about earlier."

"The girl back at the diner?" Lily nodded at the remembrance of the girl.

"No. Yes. Earlier, behind your work. You lied to me, pretended a kid was yours. Ousted me as gay in front of my friends?"

"I didn't actually out you, I implied it. And because you are. We used to date, remember? Or did you forget about that when you left me at that bus stop?"

"That excuses everything? I left you because you're poison."

"You were always my cure, Em. I told you we'd be better off if we stuck together. Don't think for a second that that wasn't true because you know it was."

Emma shook her head, anger filling her body again.

"No, no."

"Yes Emma, you always brought out the good in me; making life worth living. Without you I fell apart."

"You always made terrible choices, and influenced me with them when we were friends."

"I was a freaking teenager. Everyone makes mistakes."

"Before you I didn't make any."

"Really?" Lily scoffed, trying not to laugh. "I met you stealing food."

"I screwed up back then, you only encouraged it."

"So now I'm the cause of all of your problems?"

"No."

"You sure as hell made it sound that way." Lily reentered the bathroom, changing into her clothing.

"What happened to us?"

Lily entered the room again, having regained composure. She wasn't angry seeming, but guarded.

"Look Emma, what I want to say is that I'm sorry. Being locked in here made me think. I was a terrible friend, the shittiest, you had ever right to push me and all of my mistakes away. I would try to make it up with you, but I know I can't. I failed. I failed you. I've needed you. And it'll never be enough, but I'm sorry. Sorry for everything."

"What?" Emma hadn't expected an apology, let alone a confession. Standing up, she stared in disbelief as Lily began sobbing, trying her best to hold it in. She was strong, but when it came to honesty- especially with Emma- she wasn't.

"I'm so, so sorry Emma."

Disbelief flamed through Emma's eyes, and seeing the one person she had trusted at one point crying confused her. Anger fleeted, and Emma rose to stand by her, offering a small touch as comfort. Lily pushed the hand away automatically. However, Emma was persistent and managed to pull her into a hug. Neither were the hugging type, but with each other it made sense. Pains of when they were teenagers pushed to Emma's chest as she held the other woman, they didn't hurt as expected though. Instead the pain was welcomed, it was almost like a remedy. Lily was right, when she said Emma was her cure, but that went both ways. Lily was her cure. They were addicted to each other in a way they couldn't wrap their minds around.

Once Lily had settled, she kept the hug sustained. Being close felt more incredible than she remembered. Emma wasn't quite sure what to do. What was too much? What was too little? She was overwhelmed with emotions which hadn't been tapped into in ages, almost too long.

"You should get some rest, tomorrow is going to be long." Emma pulled away. Too soon for Lily. She nodded, wiping her cheeks and eyes.

"When will you be here?"

"Sometime in the morning. Do you want to sleep in?"

"I guess.."

Before Emma headed home, she stopped at Grannies for a drink- a hard drink, some thing to settle her down and to help her think.

Unable to let her mind rest, Lily lay wishing Emma was besides her. There was so much she wanted to say, to make amends with. Instead she had to rest because it wasn't the time. Unknowingly, she fell asleep after many hours of staring at the wall.

Emma clouded her dreams, ghosts and memories of the blonde filled her mind, even after she woke. Sun blared through the window, making her tired eyes not want to open. The pounding on the door had her awake. Although groggy and tired, she was excited at the possibility that it was her friend at the door. Standing, she unlocked and opened it.

A man. Not Emma.

"What do you want?" Lily spoke more distasteful than intended.

"Sherif Swan sent me to bring you breakfast." The deputy handed her a bag if food, and a cup of coffee. Just as fast as the young man appeared, he was gone. Her heart ached with disappointment, not seeing the person she had expected was painful.

A series of break-ins occurred in the middle of the night, all near the diner. Emma was swamped, no leads of course. But that didn't stop her from having suspicions. Mr Gold, Regina, Will Scarlet.. Even Lily was one of her suspects. She had to follow procedure, and interrogate each person though. Maybe the longer she waited to get to Lily (if she were guilty) the easier she would be to break.

Could the day have gone any worse? Not only did she not get to spend a moment of the day with Emma, she was escorted by a different sherif to meet her mother. The meeting went smoothly, but for Lily it wasn't happening. Maleficent was nice, but she had realized bonding with Lily was going to take more than one meeting. Accompanied back to her room, Lily waited for whatever was to come next. Since she wasn't being hostile, the guard which was assigned incase she were to try to escape was no longer right outside the door, but he was to watch from a distance.

Three of the four suspects Emma had had alibis for the previous night, and if Lily had spent the night in her hotel room, that meant four of four, and no leads. On top of the shitty day Emma had, she was distracted the entire time. Lily's words still rang through her mind, as if a record was stuck repeating the same track time and time again. "You were always my cure." "I failed you." "I've needed you." Were they just words? Excuses? Bullshit to make Emma believe her? Or were they genuine?

Trying to shake her mind free, Emma made her way to the hotel. With a knock of courtesy, Emma let herself in since she had the key.

"Where were you lastnight?"

"You kidding me, Emma? What is this about?" Lily was almost shocked.

"Did you leave after I left you here?" Emma's voice was robotic, stone cold.

"No. I freaking cried myself to sleep. Why?"

"There were a few break-ins near here, not much was taken but I'm investigating it."

"Now I'm a suspect?"

"It is up your alley." Emma muttered sarcastically under her breathe, and began searching the room for the lost items.

"Unbelievable." Lily could feel an outrage coming on, from the feeling of discouragement and betrayal.

"Do you want me to clear your name or not?"

"Fine. Go ahead. I didn't leave the room." Emma began searching, not finding a thing in any of Lily's possessions, or in the rest of the room.

"Lily, I'm sorry about that." Emma spoke with remorse but it sounded staged. "It's procedure."

"I'm sure it is."

"Yes. Is there anything you want before I leave for the night?"

"I thought you were going to babysit me again." That perked Emma's interest, not in the way the words were said, but the content. What she was implying.

"You don't want me to leave, do you?" Emma called her out.

Staring, Lily shook her head. "No. I don't know why I came, because I didn't want to. But since then all I've wanted was to be around you."

"I'm not ready to have you back in my life. I'm not even sure if I want you back in my life." Lily was trying her hardest not to dwell on the hurt she saw in Emma. "I need time to think."

"Is there anywhere I could get a drink?"

"Yeah, back at the diner."

"Do you want to go and think with me?"

"You do know how early in the evening it is, right?" Emma chuckled quietly, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Don't care. I need one, maybe it'll help you process your thoughts."

"Well, damn." Emma internally groaned. Drinking was probably a bad idea, but with Lily... Screw it, she was right. Emma needed to process her thoughts and whiskey would definitely sort things out. "Sometimes you can't turn up a drink."