"Aw, c'mon Sam! Please?" Lucifer whined at his boyfriend. He really, really wanted to go see Breaking Dawn.
Sam gave him the most epic bitch face of all bitch faces. "Hell no. I'm not going to see that crap and you can't make me." he folded his arms across his chest, sulking.
Lucifer stared down at Sam, a knowing smirk on his face. "Wanna bet?"
Before Sam knew what happened, they were standing outside the movie theater. "Dammit Lucifer! Take me back. Now!"
Lucifer stamped his foot on the ground. "No. You're my boyfriend and I demand that you take me to see this movie!"
"I'm not your boyfriend." Sam mumbled as Lucifer drug him up to the ticket counter.
"Yes you are." Lucifer said. He turned to the man behind the glass. "Two for Breaking Dawn please."
The guy rang up the tickets. "That'll be eighteen dollars please."
Lucifer looked at Sam expectantly. "C'mon Sam, pay the man. You know I don't have any money."
Sam forked over the cash and took the tickets. Lucifer drug him over to the snack counter.
"Ooh! I want a large soda, popcorn, Milk Duds, licorice, ooh some Sour Patch Kids, gummy bears, nachos, a pretzel, and a bottle of water." The cashier was ringing up Lucifer's order when he turned to Sam. "You want anything Sammy?"
Sam stares at Lucifer incredulously and shook his head no.
"Alright, but don't try to steal any of my snacks later. Cause I won't share." Lucifer shrugged and started gathering up his snacks. "What are you waiting for? Pay the lady. Geez, what kind of boyfriend are you?"
"I'm not your boyfriend." Sam grumbled as he paid the cashier with an apologetic smile on his face.
Lucifer was looking around at the copious amounts of movie goers and noticed that they were all wearing Twilight t-shirts. He pouted and whined at Sam. "Sammy! We need Twilight t-shirts! Go buy us some!"
Sam scoffed. "No! I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of those! And stop whining. It's annoying." he walked away from Lucifer to head for the theater.
Lucifer sulked and caught up with Sam. "Well I'd stop whining if you were being a good boyfriend!" His sulking didn't last much longer as a smirk formed on his lips. With just a thought, he and Sam donned matching Twilight shirts.
Sam was leaning against the wall, looking down at the floor when he noticed the shirt change. "Oh come on!" he thumped his head back against the wall, over and over.
Lucifer sidled up next to Sam and squealed in delight. "Oh my Father! Aren't we just the cutest things ever!"
"Gun. Mouth. Now." Sam deadpanned, making the motion of shooting himself in the mouth.
Lucifer whined. "Why can't you be like all the other boyfriends!? You never do anything with me!" he stomped his foot on the floor.
"For the last time! I. Am. Not. Your boyfriend!" Sam screamed at the tantrum throwing angel.
Lucifer gasped and dropped all of his snacks at Sam's feet. "You don't love me anymore!" he screamed at Sam before running out of the theater.
Sam groaned and chased after him. He cannot believe he's stuck with this child. He got stopped before he could leave by a very pretty young woman asking for the time.
Lucifer was watching Sam interact with the young woman, becoming consumed with possessive jealousy. He stormed back into the theater and up to Sam. He grabbed Sam's face and placed a claiming kiss to the unsuspecting hunter's lips. He pulled away and growled at the woman. "Back off bitch. He's mine! All mine, mine, mine! You can't have him!"
The young woman gave them a strange look and walked off.
Sam tries to reassure her. "No, I-I'm not his!" he yelled. "We're not even dating! Dammit Lucifer! God, why are you so annoying?"
"Hey! Leave my Father out of this!" Lucifer said. He was getting quite bored of this so he flew them back home.
Sam hastily removed that god awful Twilight shirt and threw it in the trash. "Much better. Right where you belong." he stalked off to his room to get away from the annoying brat.
Lucifer pulled Sam's discarded t-shirt from the trash, clinging to it as if it were a wounded animal. Oh, he was going to make Sam pay and he knew just how to do it.
Sam was reclining on his bed, relaxing with a good book, taking advantage of the silence while it lasted. Apparently God hated him so much that He stuck him with His bratty child.
Lucifer popped into Sam's room, microphone in hand, and played the music. He started to sing.
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
A look of shocked horror spread across Sam's face. Yes, he's most definitely convinced that God hated him. He tried to leave, but Lucifer kept him pinned to the bed.
Time stand still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
This was worse than the outburst at the movies. Sam was writhing on the bed and not in the pleasurable way. With hands clasped over his ears, he caved. "Stop! Stop! Alright, alright! I give! Just please, stop singing. For the love all things holy, please stop."
Lucifer pouted and folded his arms across his chest. "I wasn't finished." he said through gritted teeth. "Now I'll have to start all over again!" he reset the cd but was stopped by Sam's sudden shout.
"No! I'll be your boyfriend, just don't start singing again. Ever."
This answer seemed to have appeased Lucifer. He dropped the microphone to the floor and pounced on top of Sam. "Goodie! Will you do all the things boyfriends are supposed to do?"
Sam was going to regret this for the rest of his life. "Yes. I'll do everything a boyfriend is supposed to do." he just puked a bit in his mouth.
Lucifer squealed and threw his arms around Sam's neck. "We are going to have tons of fun! Like going out to the movies, going to dinner, hang out, make out, and have sex! Ooh, I really like that last one! Can we do that Sammy?! Please?"
He stared in shocked horror at the hyperactive angel bouncing on his lap. He shook himself out of his stupor. "No. No sex. That's where I draw the line. I don't mind doing all the other stuff but no sex."
Lucifer glared down at Sam. "Do I need to start singing again?" he made to get off Sam's lap.
He panicked and held Lucifer's hips. "No! That's ok. Uh, how—how bout we work up to the sex part?" he silently begged Lucifer to go along with it.
Lucifer pursed his lips, contemplating Sam's offer. He shrugged. "Okay." he leaned down and captured Sam's lips with his own.
Sam's eyes widened in surprise. His lips remained unresponsive. He gasped and felt Lucifer's tongue enter his mouth, exploring every part he could reach.
Lucifer pulled back at Sam's unresponsiveness and frowned. He sat up and glared down at Sam. "Do you want me to start singing again?" Sam grabbed Lucifer's neck and pulled him down into a kiss, using every trick in his arsenal to make Lucifer breathless.
Sam pulled back, panting and stared at the angel. "Are you happy now?" he asked, annoyance laced in his voice.
Lucifer pulled completely off Sam and stood at the end of the bed. He tied Sam down to the bed and picked up his microphone again and started singing, much to Sam's chagrin.
Sam stared in horror and started pulling at his bonds. He started hitting his head on the headboard, mumbling incoherently. Yep. He's definitely, one hundred percent sure that God was punishing him.