Present Tense

Chapter 1

"Earth to Joe!" Vanessa Bender's voice reached Joe Hardy's ears as he looked over at his pretty blonde girlfriend, seated across from him in their favorite booth at Mr. Pizza.

Smiling sheepishly, Joe reached over and gently squeezed her hand. "Sorry, Van. What'd you say? I think I missed it," he replied, slightly embarrassed at having been caught off guard.

Vanessa sighed and gave a small smile before replying. "Joe," she began gently, "It's not that I mind that you missed what I said now, or two minutes ago, or even this morning. It's that you've been missing a lot lately, and I think, after all this time, you'd feel comfortable telling me why. Go ahead," she encouraged. "I don't bite."

Joe snorted, immediately receiving a prompt smack from his girlfriend.

"Sorry!" Joe said, finally smiling and holding up his hands in a gesture of defense. "I guess I should have left that comment alone."

"I'm going to the ladies room," Vanessa responded, evenly. "I expect another refill on my drink and at least some sort of explanation. Okay?" Any more joking was gone from her voice as concern for her long-time boyfriend took over. At least Joe was making small talk again and had a glint of sparkle left in his baby blue eyes. Still, she was concerned—very much so—about his behavior as of late, and she wasn't about to let him off the hook quite so easily.

Turning to leave the booth, she blew Joe a kiss, deciding to leave him alone with his thoughts for least a few minutes. Perhaps later he'd find the time to share some of those thoughts with her.

Watching Vanessa leave the table, Joe felt the smile fall from his lips again. It had felt good to laugh again, but the feeling didn't last. He'd been able to hide it over the last few months, but now, with only a week left until Christmas, he couldn't fully hide his disappointment. Tonight… well, it was major. He needed to concentrate on not concentrating, if such a thing was possible, since the first- the only- thought went immediately to Frank.

And thinking of his twenty two year old older brother immediately brought forth so many emotions that it was all Joe could do to keep them at bay.

Still, he couldn't help but to think of the past year. So much had changed…

Growing up, no one had been closer to Joe than Frank. Whether it had been teasing him, protecting him, or, most importantly, just being there, Frank had always been the one constant in his life. Sure, he'd come close to finding others with whom he could share his innermost thoughts, like Iola, who had died several years ago, or Vanessa, whom he was absolutely certain he would ask to marry him one day. But no one, no one, could take the place of his big brother.

Joe smiled, remembering their high school years and how much fun they'd had. They'd competed, mostly in a friendly way, over grades (Frank won) and sports (Joe won); but they'd been each other's best friends and greatest support system. That's when they had seriously begun to follow in their father's footsteps, investigating crimes that had taken them from their own town to all over the world. They were a team; but now, Joe remembered, catching his breath, he seemed to be the only one on it.

When Frank had graduated, he had gone onto an Ivy League school on the east coast, making it a bit harder to maintain their closeness. Still, they got together often, Frank never failing to show up at Joe's games for support or to come home as often as possible.

Then, slowly, things began to change when Joe entered school. He was unbelievably busy, trying to balance school a full-time commitment to the baseball and football teams, with Vanessa and academics. Frank got even busier as well. A double major in Criminology and Computer Science, as well as being a teacher's assistant, had really begun to take Frank's time. In addition, Frank had surprised everyone when he continued to pursue his own baseball career. Although he'd always been an excellent pitcher, everyone had assumed that Frank wouldn't be able to handle the stress of an Ivy League education and a sports career—they had been wrong.

But the biggest divisive factor had been Callie, Frank's long-time girlfriend since high school. Having received a full scholarship to UCLA, she had to pursue her own dream of being a journalist. No one thought that Frank and Callie, as close as they had been, would have been able to keep up a relationship in which they were both literally across the country from each other. Once again, they had surprised everyone.

Now, at Christmas, Joe had come to painfully know what it was really like to be separated from his brother. It had literally been six months since he had seen him; after Frank had completed his last semester, he had decided to fly out to California to spend the summer with Callie, work out for baseball, and pursue some cutting edge criminology advances that were being developed at Stanford. Then August had rolled around, and Frank had gone back to school, swamped beyond belief with work and school.

And it was the first time he was coming back—tonight.

"Don't worry—I wasn't really that thirsty anyway."

The sound of Vanessa's voice brought him back to reality once again.

"Van, I'm sorry," Joe replied with a sigh and a small smile. "I don't know what's the matter with me today."

Vanessa, instinctively, having returned from the ladies room, bent down and hugged Joe tightly. "That's alright, Baby," she said gently. Then pulling back with a gleam in her eyes, she added, "You can make it up to me with a suitably expensive Christmas present."

Joe looked into Vanessa's eyes and chuckled softly, knowing she was just kidding. Lacing his fingers through hers, he apologized again, adding, "I guess that's the problem."

"My gift?" Vanessa asked, puzzled. "Joe, you know you don't need to get me a gift. It was a joke."

"No," Joe responded with a sad smile. "A gift for Frank. The perfect present. It's that that…" He paused, searching for words. "I guess I just want, you know, to get him something really special. It seems more important this year than ever before. I need him to know that…" He stopped himself, feeling the color rush to his face.

Vanessa reached over and gently touched his cheek. "That you love him. That you miss him. That's what all this has been about, huh?"

Joe looked down, surprising himself by how choked up he felt; grateful that Vanessa knew him well enough to fill the silence with comfort and not to let it linger. He nodded, momentarily unable to speak as he slowly met her eyes.

"He knows, Joe. Believe me, he knows. I know that you haven't seen him in forever. I mean, well…" She paused, trying to convey a way of getting her point across. Then, she saw it. "Joe," she began again. "You know that Callie and I have been best friends for ages, right? And I haven't seen her in a YEAR, Joe! I know that my relationship with Callie, as much as it means to me, isn't even in the same realm as yours to Frank, but I do kind of understand."

"I know," Joe managed.

"And look. What do they both do? Look at your brother, Joe. He calls you twice a week. He e-mails and texts and tries to keep you included in every aspect of his life, even though he's not physically with you. He's told you that he can't wait until graduation to be back here and to get back in the detective business with you and your dad. Does that sound like someone who doesn't care?"

Joe took a deep breath and managed a smile. He stood, walked around to the side of the table, and hugged Vanessa, kissing the top of her head.

"You're right. I guess I'm just excited," he answered.

"And nervous," Vanessa added, taking Joe's hand and beginning to leave the crowded restaurant. "It'll be okay, honey."

Working their way through the crowded mall in which Mr. Pizza was located, Joe wrapped an arm around Vanessa's waist, pulling her near to him amid the throngs of people.

"Shall we try to find him something special? We can look now," Vanessa offered.

"Sounds great, Van," Joe replied, nodding, as they made their way around.

He knew that Vanessa was right on some level, and Joe was immediately grateful for her always comforting embrace and listening ear. But he also felt that he NEEDED to get Frank the perfect present, the one that said "Merry Christmas, Big Brother. Glad to have you home!"

But which also said… I love you. I miss you. And I want more than anything for you not to go away anymore.

It was a gift he couldn't afford to get wrong.