Everybody listen up this is NOT my own work throught and throught some belongs to wonderful J.K.Rowling ,The rest is from the hp fanfic "Too Much Time On My Hands" By neopyro which is totally awesome and is a must read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Sure." Harry answered. Hermione grinned.
"But... are there ways to make changes to your dolls?" Harry asked.
"Changes?"
"Like... clothes, or changing their hair... Wait... do you have any art supplies in here?"
Hermione pointed to a relatively large green basket behind Harry. "Help yourself... just don't do anything permanent."
"Excellent!" Harry said with a grin. He grabbed a nearby doll off the shelf and proceeded to do some quick alterations. It was a male doll with short black hair, and a slightly large nose. Harry colored the line near the nose very slightly with a black colored pencil so it looked bigger. He lengthened the black hair with a small piece of silk and some tape to hold it in place... he also applied dome glue from the glue stick to make it look greasy. Harry admired the art, and then marched his modified doll over to the two dolls Hermione was laying with.
"I am Snivellus Crepe, your Chemistry professor!" Harry said in his best Snape voice.
Hermione giggled. "Good morning professor!" Hermione squeaked with one of her dolls. "Good morning!" the other doll agreed.
"YOU! What is your name?" Harry said in his Snape voice, having the doll point at the girl doll.
"Han-" Hermione started.
"DETENTION! Talking in class!" Harry interrupted. Hermione collapsed in a fit of giggles.
"B-b-but." Hermione tried
"Two detentions! Vulgarities in class." Harry said as Snape. "And you!" Harry pointed at the boy.
"Yes, Professor?" The boy said.
"DETENTION! You look like your father and I hate your father so you being in this class is an insult to me.
Hermione laughed , very loudly. Harry grabbed a doll from the shelf. A blond boy.
"Late are you? Oh well, you're my only friend's son. I'm sure you have an excuse."
Harry grabbed another doll and made it come in late as well.
"Late! DETENTION FOR A WEEK!" Crepe screeched.
"But!" Harry said.
"TWO WEEKS!" this came from Crepe.
Hermione had now dropped both dolls, and was holding her stomach in pain from laughing so hard. And all he'd done was do a re-enactment of what happens in a typical potions class... This gave him an idea. Harry introduced a few more characters to the game. There was the blind Headmaster "Bumblemore" who kept Crepe on staff because he thought the students were lying when they said they hated him, and the strict "Professor McGobble'EmAll" who was strict but fair, and despite approaching Headmaster Bumblemore on dozens of occasions, he still assured everyone that "Crepe has my absolute trust" and that "Crepe is just misunderstood. He's really a nice guy once you get to know him."
Harry was about to introduce the comically short "Professor Nitpick" when Hermione's Mother called up the stairs "Kids! Dinner!"
Harry and Hermione bounded down the stairs, laughing all the way.
Harry and Hermione scarfed down food and Hermione talked non-stop about the mean Professor Crepe and the blind Headmaster Bumblemore. Harry could hear Hermione the Older laughing her ass off over the mind link.
Just as Harry and Hermione finished off the last of their Dinners and were about to head back upstairs, Hermione's mother called out "Not so fast, kiddos. It's bath time."
Both kids groaned. "Rock, Paper Scissors to see who goes first." Harry said to Hermione.
"First?" Hermione's mother asked incredulously. "We have a double sized tub! Do you know how much water would be wasted in washing you one at a time? You're both young and don't take up much space. You'll barely notice the other one is there."
And unfortunately, there was no arguing with Hermione's mother. Harry could still hear the laughter of Future Hermione... and it just kept getting louder.
Chapter Twelve
"MOOOOOOOOM!" Hermione complained.
"You don't need to. Really! I have something called the "Clean Gene" and it takes days for me to start to smell... Or, I could even pay for the water for me to bathe by myself or something. Besides, I like to shower instead of have baths!" Harry protested.
"Stop babbling, both of you and go get your clean clothes to change into. You can pass your dirties out to me once you get in the tub and I'll put them in the wash. Now go!" Mrs. Granger snapped.
"But-" Harry started.
"GO!"
"I jus-" Hermione tried.
"HERMIONE JANE GRANGER!" Mrs. Granger screeched. Even Harry jumped. Both children bolted up the stairs without a word. Harry was vaguely aware that the voices of Ginny and Luna laughing just as hard as Future Hermione was. Actually, Luna might have been laughing harder.
"What are the odds she has a key to your room?" Harry asked Hermione when they reached Hermione's room.
"Very low... the problem is, the door doesn't lock." Hermione answered.
"Well what about your chair? We could prop it against the door handle." Harry suggested.
"The door opens outwards. It'd just fall over when she opened the door."
The two sighed in despair. They were both geniuses but neither of them could think of a way out of the situation. They exchanged a look that blatantly said "As long as you're just as traumatized by this as I am, we can manage. Let's just never speak of this again." They rummaged for clothing and headed back out of the room, their heads drooping like defeated soldiers. They entered the bathroom, where the water was already turned on, and filling up the tub. The two sort of stood there in awkward silence for a moment.
Mrs. Granger walked in carrying a laundry basket full of dirty clothes. "I'm doing Laundry now and there's still space in the machine. Stop being so awkward and give me your clothes."
Harry and Hermione exchanged another horrified look.
"All right, I'll go put these in the machine, but your clothes had better be waiting for me in a pile in the hall by the time I get back." Mrs. Granger acquiesced
The door shut behind her, and Harry and Hermione shared another look. Harry shrugged, and got the ball rolling by removing his socks. Hermione still kept that look of terror on her face. Harry removed his shirt. That was pretty much the limit of his clothing comfort zone.
Hermione slowly removed a sock. She removed the second one. Harry removed his pants, thankful that his boxers weren't the magic ones with flying brooms and Snitches that he'd gotten the other day. He knew he'd have a hard time explaining why they were moving to Hermione's parents. And Hermione for that matter,
'It's just like wearing a swimsuit...' Harry tried to convince himself. The laughter in his head returned as apparently Luna, Ginny and Future Hermione heard his thought and started cackling again.
Mrs. Granger started to ascend the steps. Harry's fear of being naked in front of a girl at age six battled with inciting the wrath of Hermione's mother.
'Better the evil you know than the evil you don't.' Harry thought and let his boxers drop. He tossed them onto the pile. In the future, Luna had just taken a large sip of pumpkin juice and sprayed it all out her nose. This boosted his confidence and he headed for the tub.
Now it was Hermione's mother's turn to be terrified. 'Hung like that as a six year old?' she thought. 'It doesn't matter what that kid looks like when he gets older, he'll have to keep the women away with a stick! Maybe a bat or gun.'
Hermione tossed her underwear onto the pile and climbed into the tub across from Harry.
"Don't forget to wash each other's backs!" Mrs. Granger called as she walked downstairs.
If there was a desk present, Harry would have intentionally banged his head onto it. Dobby style. There was not, and he had to make do with enduring Hermione's awkward stare. She wasn't really looking at him. More accurately, she wasn't looking at all of him. Harry dunked himself under the warm water to purge the awkwardness from the air. He surfaced, rubbing the water from his eyes.
"Pass the shampoo please?" Harry asked, extending a hand for the bottle, without opening his eyes yet. This seemed to bring Hermione back to earth and she passed the bottle.
Harry opened the top and squirted a bit into his hand, his eyes still shut. He fumbled around blind for a second, but finally got the shampoo bottle to shut ahd he let the bottle just float in the warm water.
"Here." Hermione offered, and scooped the shampoo from Harry's hand. "Turn around, I'll do it."
"Thanks." Harry said awkwardly. He was used to showering with his glasses on and a waterproofing charm on them. He turned.
Harry felt Hermione's hands running through his hair, massaging the shampoo into place. Harry did his best to ignore the weirdness and the whole "This is so totally wrong" feeling that he got, as Hermione washed his hair for him. He tried to imagine that it was just like the lady who washed your hair before you got it cut. The image helped, but it still felt weird. Harry heard a faint "sploosh" as Hermione presumably rinsed the shampoo off her hands. Harry started to turn away.
"We've got to wash our backs. Mom says, remember?" Hermione asked.
"Oh, yeah." Harry replied. Harry heard rummaging sounds as Hermione got soap. She seemed to be getting much more confident about this whole thing, and was treating Harry like he was just another doll she needed to take care of. That was fine. Just as long as she wasn't looking at his bits with that look of insatiable curiosity all over her face.
Hermione's hands returned, this time with soap instead of shampoo. She cleaned exceptionally slowly. Harry wondered if this was why women took so long to get ready for a dance: they spent an hour in the shower making sure that there wasn't a speck of dirt left. It seemed like a geologic age had passed before Hermione said "OK, dunk yourself, and then it's my turn."
Harry dunked himself and resisted the urge to groan. Now it was time to start all over again.
Somehow, they managed to leave the bathtub before the water was cold. Harry & Hermione hopped into sleep clothes and the two of them bounded up the stairs to Hermione's room. They managed another forty-five minutes of dolls. Harry introduced "Noskill Pastrami" the deluded astronomer who thought she could tell the future.
Snivellus Crepe walked into the room. "This boy made a funny face in my class! He should be expelled sir!" he said to Headmaster Bumblemore.
"It doesn't matter what you do, Headmaster." Noskill Pastrami said. "The boy will DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! He will be betrayed and murdered in cold blood by one that he used to call a friend!"
"That's enough, Noskill. Snivellus seems to have something else he wants to say to us." said the Headmaster.
"It's true, Headmaster. I used to work for a murderer. I killed lots of people to help him out and convince him that I was his friend but really I'm your friend and want to help put him in jail." Snivellus said dramatically.
"The fates say this man is lying!" Noskill said.
"Silence!" Bumblemore ordered. "I believe you, Snivellus. You are a good person and would never hurt me." Bumblemore approached Snivellus for a hug.
Snivellus let him approach... and then kicked him in the head and beat him up. "HA HA! You old fool, I really was working for the Murderer Moldy-Shorts. Now you are dead because you were stupid and trusted me! HAHAHAHA!" Snivellus cheered, dancing on Bumblemore's corpse.
"Kids! Time for bed!" Mrs. Granger called.
"Awwww!" Hermione whined.
"Come on, don't give me a hard time about this. I've got a mattress, sheets, blanket and a pillow for Harry.
Harry and Hermione cleaned up the dolls to make room for the incoming mattress.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!