"Wit woo, look at you" Zoe sang as Nick entered resus. "These are very nice..." she complimented him as he handed her his cufflinks.
"Yes, a girl bought them for me" he teased, offering his arm for her to put them in.
"Must've had impeccable taste this girl" Zoe played along.
"It goes without saying" came the reply.
"She must be pretty special, this girl" their banter continued back and forth.
"Well anyone who can put up with me must be pretty special" he whispered, aware that Kirsty had just entered the room.
"Oh, I dunno... maybe she was just crazy about you" she spoke quietly, taking hold of his hand.
"Listen, I hope you don't mind but I've called obstetrics to see if they can fit you in for a scan and they said they'd call down if anything became available. Is that alright?" Nick asked, their banter ended and the topic of conversation became much more serious.
Zoe's stomach dropped as Nick told her "Yea, of course" she played along as he bent down to kiss her, aware that Kirsty was scrutinising her every move. "See you later" she finished, kissing him again before walking away. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she loved Nick, more than anything and all she was trying to do was make him happy. Of course she felt guilty but she really thought that she'd manage to get pregnant, what with all the fertility treatment and the amount of sex she seemed to be having lately. A woman's sole purpose on this earth was to bear children and she couldn't even get that one right; her life was a complete and utter mess.
"He's in VF" the crashing of the resus doors interrupted Zoe's self pity.
"Ok, let's shock him" Zoe swung into doctor mode, picking up the paddles of the defibrillator. "Charging to one fifty" she put the paddles on "ok, shocking"
"Yes, back in sinus rhythm" Jay confirmed "Oh, Dr Hanna obstetrics called, they can fit you in for that scan later".
Zoe froze, she'd really hoped she could put it off for as long as possible but it seemed the truth was going to be revealed. "Yeah thanks Jay"
"Nice house, garden...couple of kids"
Nick's words played on Zoe's mind as she headed towards obstetrics; she wished he was here with her. It was horrible to think like this, shameful even; but if he saw her empty womb on the monitor he would be there to comfort her, he would assume it was a miscarriage and support her then they could always try again. For now she was alone, going for a pointless ultrasound so the midwife could tell her what she already knew. She wasn't pregnant.
"Ok, the jelly will be a little cold" the midwife informed Zoe as she lay on the bed.
Zoe rolled her eyes, she was a doctor she was well aware that it was cold. She felt her stomach muscles contract as it was squirted into her abdomen. Zoe lay back, closing her eyes and blocking out everything that was going on around her. She felt the scanner being pushed harder into her abdomen. She knew that the midwife was desperately searching; trying to give Zoe some hope before she had to inform her that she couldn't find a heartbeat. She held her breath waiting for the apologies to come.
"There it is..." the midwife said.
Zoe looked at her shocked. "Sorry?" she questioned.
"Your baby" she confirmed "I'd say you're about ten weeks pregnant"