Title: Raison D'être
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts/Chain of Memories/Kingdom Hearts II
Disclaimer: Don't own (unfortunately) so don't sue 'cause you won't get much.
Pairings: DemyxZexion, AkuRoku and more. . .
Genre: angst/drama/romance
Type: chapter fic
Rating: R/NC-17
Other Notes: AU, non-con/rape, violence, swearing, forced prostitution, lemon/lime
Summary:I'll help you find your reason to live, or I'll become it for you.
AN: Wow, this took me awhile to finish. I dunno why. I got all revved up to write then I lost interest. It was a gruesome cycle. XD haha, anyway. I guess this is a 'teaser' of sorts. If I don't get good feedback on this, I'll just end it here and write for myself (mwa ha ha), so comments and constructive criticism are very welcome! Also, I won't lie and say that I'll have an update on so and so day 'cause quite frankly I don't keep writing dates very well. So in other words, if I am continuing this fic, I will be updating whenever I can so DON'T bug me about updating. Oh and this'll be the only chapter that will be in first person POV. The rest will be in third. )

Raison D'être

The First Silent Melody: Prelude

I gritted my teeth as another costumer defiled my body. How many times already has this happened? Too many times to count. The man above me thrust one more time before he came and tugged hard at my arousal. I let out an involuntary gasp and also climaxed much to my chagrin. He collapsed on top of me and I let out a low growl of disapproval. However, there was not much I could do about it. He was my client and had to treat him as such, even if I had to force my generosity. I shifted a little under his weight and said in a disinterested voice, "Your time is almost up."

"Mm. Would it be too much trouble if I stayed a little longer?" He rolled off me and pulled me close while I forced myself to hide my look of disgust. "Please," he whispered.

I rolled my eyes; not like I could say no. "All right." How long he held me, I didn't know, though I was partially afraid that he had fallen asleep. If he had, my boss would throw a fit when he found out and lecture me about wasted time and money lost. I knew this lecture by heart. He recites it at least once every two weeks, sometimes throwing in a reminder on who was in charge though he need not do so as I knew the hierarchy of this place fairly well.

Glancing down at my client, I realized that he wasn't all that bad looking: dark hair framing his angular face, hazel eyes, and an eyebrow piercing. If we had met under different circumstances, we might have been friends. But really, that didn't change anything. I still felt dirty and used and wanted nothing more than to slip out of his loose embrace and wash the grime and cum off of my body. Slowly, I lifted myself up on my hands and slid away from his over encompassing warmth. He looked up at me and I said bluntly, "You should go."

He nodded and gathered his clothes strewn across the floor. I sat on the edge of the bed, watching him silently. When he finally left the room, we didn't even acknowledge each other, which was to be expected. I sighed, thankful for a moment's reprieve. Stretching, I stood up and padded over to the drawer to the right of the bed, pulled out a small rucksack and extracted street clothes. I donned those before I stuffed my "work" clothes in and zipped the bag closed. Every night I would stash a sweater and jeans somewhere in the room so I wouldn't have to return home clad in highly constricting leather. I didn't want to draw any more attention to me than needed.

Finally, I shouldered my bag and exited the suffocating room and headed towards the lobby of the building. I wanted to get out of this place as quickly as possible, and hopefully no one will realize that I left an hour early. Stepping out into the street, I started my trek into a more reputable area of the city to hail a taxi. The night air was dry and dense with the fumes from the nearby factories. Even though I have lived in Hollow Bastion for most of my life, I will never be able to fully embrace this city as my "home". There were too many memories buried here that I would much rather forget.

Up ahead, the downtown district slowly came into view and I immediately hailed down the first cab that came into sight. The ride to my apartment took only ten minutes and I found myself eager to take a shower. I glanced at the meter on the dashboard of the car and tossed out a bill and tersely said to the driver that he could keep the change. Quickly exiting the vehicle and stepping onto the sidewalk, I watched the cab drive away before I headed for the entrance to the building before me. I nodded curtly to the portly security guard and headed up the stairs to the third floor, turned left, and paused at the second door. Pulling my keys out of my bag, I inserted it into the keyhole and pushed my way into the flat. I sighed and let my bag drop at my feet before kicking the door closed. Suddenly a massive weight lifted from my shoulders and I slumped against the door, letting my body slide down to the floor.

I sat there for awhile, simply staring out into space. For some reason, tonight was exhausting—more so than usual. My body started to ache, especially between my legs. Perhaps I had ignored the pain and now that I was in the comfort of my own home, everything came crashing down on me.

So much for comfort.

I gritted my teeth in disgust and pain and hauled myself to the bathroom dragging my bag with me. Somehow I managed to strip my clothes off and shower without any mishaps. My body was just so fatigued I was amazed that I was still standing. Toweling myself off, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I paused for a moment and blankly stared at my image. A thin nineteen year old, not quite five feet, with dyed, damp hair falling over one eye stared blandly back with deep lavender-colored irises. My upper body wasn't exactly scrawny but I wasn't toned, either. Just. . . average. Many a customer had commented on my legs and how feminine they looked. I never had anything to say to that. I never really said anything to my customers. My eyed raked casually over the blemishes flecked across my body. Thankfully, I rarely had bruises on my neck. If I was careless enough to allow a customer to mark me, I would simply cover it with the make-up laid out on my drawer. Then my eyes flicked down to my wrists. Of course, how could I ever forget those scars? They'll always be there, a painful and obvious reminder of what my "job" once led me to do. I clenched my fists and the whiteness of the scars shone brighter against my cream colored skin. No, I'll never forget.

I closed my eyes for a moment to clear my mind. Once I was composed again, I finished drying myself and grabbed a tube of ointment from the medicine cabinet. I squeezed a decent amount on my finger and gently applied it to my still raw opening. It stung, but I knew that it would help the healing in the long run. I sighed and dressed in simple sweatpants and a baggy shirt; my movements were growing more and more lethargic. Finally, I exited the lavatory and found that I was no longer alone. I blinked stupidly a couple of times before my guest spoke tartly.

"Insubordination."

It took longer than usual for me to come up with a reply. "I would not have made much more money if I had stayed."

"You are still obligated to stay until your shift ended."

Shifts. It was as if it was any other normal job. How revolting. "Maybe so, but I am sure you are used to my disobedience, are you not? Sir." I added as an afterthought.

Those amber eyes narrowed and glared me down. "I do not need to tell you again who is in charge, do I, Zexion?"

"No, of course not," I replied sarcastically. "I only hear it every month or so."

"Double shifts next week," he snapped, "And don't you dare think about skipping out on them." His eyes were mere slits and I knew he was serious.

I nodded, albeit reluctantly, but I knew what he could do and I decided to back down this time.

He smirked and turned to leave. "I'll know, Zexion. Have a good week."

When he left, it felt as if all the energy left in my body dispersed and I almost crumpled into a heap onto the floor. I clutched onto the door frame to keep myself up and muttered sourly under my breath, "Love you too, Uncle Xemnas."

I staggered to my bed and practically collapsed onto the clean smelling sheets. Suddenly my eyes felt so heavy, I could barely keep them open. Before I succumbed to the inviting darkness, I vaguely wondered how Xemnas always knew whether or not I was at work or not. The thought quickly left my mind when I finally fell into oblivion.

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Please review! I would like to have some reviews (is ten per chapter asking for too much?) if I am to continue this. Much thanks