"Eaten by the Forest" by Tialys

"Alright, Sam? The ferry's not going to tip over, you know."

"Hm? Oh, I know, Mr. Merry."

"Of course you do! Then what, may I ask, are you looking back at? It's a bit too dark to see anything worth seeing this far downriver."

"It might be, Mr. Merry, but to me it seems that all I could hope to see behind is nicer by far than anythin' up ahead of us, beggin' your pardon."

"My pardon is yours, Sam. Now, really, what is so terrible about what lies before us? I'm sure you'll like Crickhollow and, though I am really not knowledgeable in gardening, the plots there seemed quite nice -- though I'm sure you could easily make them better."

"Thank 'ee, Mr. Merry, but, in case you've forgotten, we're not exactly stayin' at Crickhollow long enough for any of that to matter."

"Right... goodness, how could I forget that?"

"Who'd want to remember?"

"Maybe... Pip! Move to the left, will you? You're tipping the ferry. Sit, Sam. All's fine."

"If I remember correctly, sir, you said the ferry would not tip over."

"Well, not when we are all spaced properly and not jumping about."

"Mr. Merry, Pippin is on the ferry, you know?"

"Yes, Sam, but I just handled that, did I not?"

"We're all going to die..."

"Not yet, we're not, Sam. Cheer up! Have you been across the river before?"

"No, sir, I've never been this far from Hobbiton."

"You'll like it, Sam. You will."

"Mr. Merry?"

"Hm?"

"How far have you been?"

"Away? Well... just through the forest, really."

"The -- Are we going through there?!"

"Well, of course, Sam. It's the best way."

"How is through there the best?"

"Sam, I highly doubt that whatever is following my dear cousin would dare try going through there. Only Bucklanders know the right paths through there and most others are too frightened anyway."

"Goodness, I wonder why that is?"

"Very funny, Sam."

"I try, sir."

"Sam, you haven't told me. Where is Fr --"

"Shh! Not so loud, sir. We're all on the small ferry, you know."

"Sorry. Sorry. Sam, where is Frodo going after we get through the forest? He --"

"Bree."

"Bree? Why?"

"Mr. Gandalf's supposed to be meetin' us there, seein' as how he never showed up here."

"No?"

"No. It shook Mr. Frodo up a bit, but he's sure Mr. Gandalf will be there when we arrive."

"And if he's not?"

"I... I'm not sure."

"Oh. Ah, well. We'll see what we'll see. I wouldn't worry about it yet."

"Aye. We still haven't gotten through this forest of yours. I promise you, sir, if a tree attacks you I'll only say I told you it would."

"Oh, don't worry about me Sam. Though I would watch out myself if I were you. The forest doesn't hold strangers in high regard."

"Sir!"

"Oh Sam, you should see your face!"

"Just wait, sir. We'll see who gets caught by a tree and eaten."

"There you go, Sam. Your bright future before you!"

"You're hopeless."

"Maybe. Of course, that's only if you make it to the forest without dropping over dead from this simple ferry trip."

"Just keep your cousin still and we'll all be fine, sir."

"Yes... we will be fine, Sam. We'll make sure of it."

"That we will, sir."

May 19, 2004