Title: To love someone

Pairing: HikaruxKaoru

Series: Ouran high school host club

Warning: Mild Yaoi, and twincest, don't read if you don't like.

Disclaimer: Are Hikaru and Kaoru main characters in a yaoi? Oh.. Then no, I don't own.

Summary: Realizing you're in love with your twin. Realizing he feels the same way. Desire and want that shouldn't be there. How to deal with those feelings? HikaruxKaoru

AN: I wanted to make a piece where the want just builds up and then explodes, but I also wanted to work with the insecurity and worry that associates an incest relationship. So I made this. My first twincest/Ouran high school host club fanfic! Yay. I'm so proud. Oh well, happy reading!

Hikaru entered his and Kaoru's room. His twin was lying peacefully on their bed wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Hikaru.." Kaoru moaned, from the double bed they shared, "I'm bored, and I can't sleep." The oldest twin twitched; Kaoru was acting like nothing had happened all day, and there had... He placed himself on the bed next to his twin, trying to control his own body. When had he realized? That the simple game did not satisfy. Only leaving him with a deep hole of desire toward his mirror image. He loved him. More than anything and the want that had been filling his body long enough was on the edge of controlling him.

"Hikaru.. Say something," he reached out for his brother's hand, a gentle touch. Hikaru couldn't take it anymore.

Their hosts play had slowly developed into something more serious, the things that they said to each other were more heated, the touches more passionate. No one complained, a girl had passed out on the floor with nosebleed, but aside that the twins did, as they wanted to. Just that day, a few hours earlier, Kaoru had taken the play a little too far.

"I'm so embarrassed, please don't talk about that, Hikaru!" The fangirl's eyes were glued to the twins.

"How could I not, it's such a pleasurable memory for me, the way you whimpered my name last night, that is," he grabbed his twin by the wrist and forced him on top. It was just a normal day, and a normal act. But Hikaru had certainly not been ready for Kaoru's hands on his hips, hot breath on his neck and an erection brushed against his own.

"But ..Hikaru.." his brother whispered, his eyes shining with desire. The fangirls screamed. They didn't grasp Hikaru's confused expression, the blush that coloured his cheeks, and the desire that his eyes returned.

Kaoru was pinned beneath his brother, his chest rapidly rising and falling. Hikaru liked that look. It was dark in the room, but the twin's eyes were shining with downright want and a hint of panic. Hikaru leaned down and captured his twin's lips, still keeping him pinned underneath his own body. Hot breath. Moans. Their lips belonged to each other. They parted, panting and dizzy. Without having the chance to think, Kaoru grabbed Hikaru's shirt pleadingly. His lips were soon busy again. Hikaru slid his hand over Kaoru's soft skin, making him moan into the lips that were sucking on his own. Their touches were passionate, desperate, longing.

"Hikaruu.." Kaoru whimpered, as hot kisses were placed on his neck and collarbone. Hikaru loved the sounds his twin made, the moans and the way he cried his name.

A knock was heard on the door. The twins were stuck for a matter of seconds, like a rabbit in the light of a car. Then Hikaru jumped off his twin and onto the floor, where he stood panting, dumbfounded.

Another knock was heard, their mother's voice, asking if they were in there. Seconds. Minutes. Hours? Then Kaoru's shaken voice replied,

"Yeah, mom, we're just about to go to bed." Hikaru blushed almost instantly, the door to the room opened. He couldn't face his mother, he couldn't look her into the eyes, and so he fled to the bathroom. Locking the door, still in the state of shock, slowly letting himself slide down on the cold bathroom floor. His heart was racing, the adrenaline still keeping him high. He could hear his mother's voice on the other side of the door, wishing Kaoru a good sleep, then yelling the same thing through to door, to him.

He was afraid to speak, tears were threatening to run down his cheeks.

"Thanks," he replied, "Y-you too." His voice was indeed shaking, and for a second he thought his mother would ask him what was wrong. She didn't. And he heard the door gently slam as she exited the room. For a few seconds nothing was heard. Then Kaoru's sobs were heard clearly. Hikaru heard him drop down on the floor on the other side of the locked door.

"Shh.. Don't cry, Kaoru," Hikaru said as gently he could, "I'm sorry," his voice was still shaking.

"Why are you apologizing!" Kaoru cried to the door, "I was the one who.. The one who.. I love you, Hikaru." Stunned silence, the older twin jerked on the other side of the door. He wanted to comfort his twin, more than anything in the entire world.

Wanted to hold him, kiss him, and.. He knew that if he did those things, he would cross the line, like he had almost done a few minutes ago.

"H-Hikaru.." Kaoru sobbed from his place outside the door. "I don't know what I'll do, if I open that door right now," Hikaru whispered, "Go to sleep, I don't want to.. Ruin you."

"What are you talking about! So what if we did have sex? Is it because we're twins? Or because we're two boys?" Kaoru slammed his hands into the door, "Please, Hikaru!"

The door went open, Hikaru stood in the door opening, emotionless features. "We're not playing anymore.." he whispered, then he bend now to face Kaoru. "I know.." The youngest brother whispered with his new insecure voice. "You have no idea.. How long I've felt this way.." Hikaru gently wiped away Kaoru's tears. Kaoru gently took his brother's hand and sucked on his fingers, they tasted like salty tears. "You're doing this to tease me, aren't you?" Hikaru whispered passionately. "Kiss me already," Kaoru whimpered with a sly smile.

AN: Yeah, you may flame me for my bad grammar. English is not my first language, but I hope my missing skills did not kill the story. When I neared the ending I realized that my missing skills/childhoodness prevented me from writing a lemon. So it ended like this, I hope I didn't leave anyone unsatisfied! Laugh. Please leave a review! Oh, and I'm always looking for HikaruxKaoru yaoi stories. Would you write me one? Obey my puppy eyes. Hope you enjoyed!