IS THIS OVER?
If someone does not know how hard it was to think about someone or rather your beloved who may not be yours anymore; I would tell you that it really hurts.
And that was what I was feeling at that moment. Thinking about all the happy times we had had together, our kisses, embraces and arguments really added to the pain. And the last word of our argument was from Ray.
"I'm really sick and tired of this. I just want it to stop..."
I was so heartbroken and I knew what he meant. To stop meant to end. And what he really was saying was that he wanted to end the relationship; our relationship.
Our argument had started from a small thing; it was just about me accidentally reading his diary. Well, it may sound stupid but that was what really happened. I found the diary on his table and was just reading to find out what it was when he came into the room, and that was how it happened.
Ray was back to China for a week, and we did not contact each other during that time. I knew our relation would not stay long anyway, because I am too dependent on Ray that I have to stick to him the whole day. He might feel that he had lost his freedom and privacy. He might just feel bored of me.
We had just done with the Russian tournament and Kai was back to Russia. There was an invitation to visit the Demolition Boys but I turned it down. I just don't have the mood. Instead, I stayed with Tyson and Max. We did enjoy, as no one knew that Ray and I were fighting, or had broke up. I was glad about that. At least I would not have them talking about my sad story every day.
So, I had spent three weeks without Ray and that was really dreadful. If I would have been left alone, I don't think I could take the pain. Anyway, I wrote the events that happened between Ray and me in a diary, every single event that happened ever since the first second of our relationship.
It was hard, because each time I read them, my tears would never stop falling. But, I just could not leave the memories behind. They were just too valuable. I loved Ray, I really do.
At last, I could not take it anymore I just flung the book somewhere in the room and went out without telling the others. I just need sometime for myself. So, I went to the beach which Ray and I used to sit and watched the sunset. The song that he sang for me on our first month anniversary kept playing in my mind. It was a Japanese love song, which he said each and every word was what he felt towards me.
I couldn't stop crying at that moment because I realised that I couldn't live without him, not even for a few weeks. I just wish the argument was just a nightmare and that I would wake up one day, with him beside me, telling me how much he loves me again. But, it was over. All was over.
It was not until 11.45 that I reached home. They were very worried but I managed to save myself from being nagged. I really was very tired and I had no intention to listen to anyone nagging. I dragged myself to our, or rather Ray's bedroom. I decided to sleep there because I really missed his scent and his comfort. I hugged his pillow tightly, and I soon drifted to slumber.
In my dream, Ray had come back from China, and he was seating at the edge of the bed, looking at me. Talking to me...
"I'm sorry, koi..." was what I could hear. The feeling of him stroking my head was too real. I even felt myself leaning to the touch; I really missed his touches so much.
I woke up the next morning, in someone's embrace. I was shocked as the person was half naked. His shirtless body was so close to mine, I could even hear his heartbeat. His hair was messy and it covered his face.
Then he stirred, and hugged me closer. I tried to restrain but it woke him up. I ended up looking at a pair of golden orbs, which belong to none other than my beloved tiger.
"Morning, sweetheart," he gave me his usual warm smile. "I love you."
With that he kissed me on my lips. I was totally dumbfounded, and could only lie down, rooted. Was everything back then just a dream or was this a dream.
"Anyway, a dream will always end," I whispered sadly, resting my hands on his toned chest. I moved closer to him, savouring the presence which I know will disappear once I wake up.
"Wake up, sleepy head." Someone poked me and I jolted up, only to face the familiar golden orbs again. My face only a few inches away from his and I could feel his breath on my cheeks. I rubbed my eyes, clearing my sleepiness away. Ray was still in front of me, looking at me. A moment of silence was so uncomfortable between us. He then took hold of my hand, and that stopped me from rubbing my eyes.
"Don't rub it too much, it'll get red," he whispered. I looked at him, still in doubt whether to believe that he was for real or it was just my dream, and that I have not wake up yet.
"Wake up for breakfast it's getting late," he said, and left me alone in the room, as he headed to the kitchen. I went to have a wash and rushed to the kitchen once I was done. There he was, stirring the soup in the pot, smiling to himself. I dashed to where he was and held him from his back. He chuckled and turned around.
"What happened?" he asked. Ray was still holding on the spoon while his left hand was placed on my waist. "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes." He said, and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"Minnie, can I have a word with you?" he asked as I walked out from the dining hall after breakfast. I nodded my head.
We were sitting on the bed in his room, looking at each other. He raised an eyebrow when I just stared at him. Ray then ambled across the room, and took a book in his hand.
"I've accidentally read this. It was interesting," he said. It was my dairy. He started to walk to me, looking at me all the time. "You shouldn't have thrown it on the floor," he said, edging closer.
He stopped when his face was mere centimetres from mine. He smirked. All of a sudden, he pushed me down on the bed and started attacking me with his onslaught of kisses. I finally came to my senses that Ray was real, and I wrapped my arms around his neck which caused him to hold me closer.
"I'm sorry to hurt you, sweetheart. I promise you we won't argue over small matters like that anymore, okay?" he told me when we had made up on what we were supposed to. "Those three weeks without you were killing me... I really can't live without you," he said, and I suddenly felt tears streaming down from my face. The three weeks had been torturing.
"Ray, promise me you will never leave," I requested, looking at him with watery eyes. He answered by giving me a kiss, and I knew he really meant it even though he have not said it.
"And you promise me not to say nothing to me, it really kills me..." he whispered. I smiled as I realised that I had finally returned to where I belonged; in Ray's embrace.