Hey guys, how are you doing? Well, I promise I'm not leaving "Take me to church", but 7x10 just made me so angry. How dare the writers give Alison this storyline? I mean, hasn't she gone through enough? And I hope they don't romanticize this pregnancy by using it to bring Emison together. Making it clear: in every scenario possible, this is a rape pregnancy and Alison has been violated. There's no such a thing as "we're getting an Emison baby" when a queer woman had her dignity damaged by the writers. I even tried to discuss this with Bryan Holdman on Twitter, but he refused to see the problem there and blocked me. Bear with me: this is a delicate storyline and I'm sure the writers won't handle it well. As a woman, I felt offended.
Anyway... This fic is me picturing every scenario possible. I picked three and worked on them. This is the first one. Beware: there are mentions of abortion in this chapter, so it's rated M for a reason.
"Do you see that little dot over there? That's your baby, Ms. DiLaurentis," The doctor speaks excitedly and finds the blonde's lack of reaction weird. She's not like her usual patients, who gushed and babbled about their babies and filled her with questions. Ms. DiLaurentis looked as if she wasn't even paying attention.
"Do you see her, Ali?" Ms. Fields pointed to the screen and only then did her patient reacted.
"It looks beautiful," It. Not he or she. It. There was something really wrong with this patient.
"You're due five weeks. Your belly will begin to grow in a month or so," The doctor said, trying to sparkle a reaction in the blonde.
"Great," Ms. DiLaurentis answers and the doctor detects more irony and self-pity than happiness.
That's the most strange appointment she had in her life.
"Ali, are you okay?" Emily asked as she approached the blonde who currently sat on her couch. Emily has been staying over Alison's so much these days that Ali's home almost feels like hers (if only). Hanna has even begun to complain, but Emily had so far appeased her best friend. Hanna didn't know about Ali's pregnancy. None of the girls knew.
"I'm gonna have an abortion, Em," Alison blurts out and holds back her tears, "This is my decision."
Emily sat on the couch as well and took Ali's hand in between hers, "Alison, are you sure?"
"This is his baby, Emily!" She suddenly snaps, "The baby of a man who tortured me and destroyed my life! Do you think I should have it?!"
"Ali, I can't tell you what to do, okay?!" Emily steps back defensively, "I just want you to consider this very seriously because it's a baby we're talking about!"
"Yes, Emily, it's a baby, but what about me?! Is this baby suddenly more important than me?!"
"Of course they aren't, it's just-"
"You think I'm a murderess, don't you?! You think that I'm destroying a poor, innocent life! And you know what?! I'm going to do this alone!" Alison stands up to leave the house, but Emily is faster and hugs her from behind.
"You won't! I won't let you!" Emily hides her face in Ali's neck and cries.
"Emily, it's my body! I'm going to do it!"
"But you're not doing it alone!" Emily's loyalty shatters Alison and the blonde woman turns around in her arms, cradling Emily's face with her hands, "I'll be by your side through everything! Whether you keep the baby or not, I'm gonna respect your decision and support you."
Alison wraps her arms around Emily's neck and pulls her in for a kiss – a much reassuring one They haven't talked about their feelings or their kiss at Ali's couch yet because Ali's pregnancy has been too much, but it doesn't mean that love has been erased.
"I love you," Alison whispers against her lips. She knows this is not the right time, but she can't help it.
"I love you too," Emily says back and spends the rest of the evening comforting Alison in her arms.
As soon as Alison mentioned her desire to abort to her doctor, she has been bombarded with questions. Are you sure you want to get rid of your baby, Ms. DiLaurentis? Yes, definitely. I know it is within your rights, but are you sure you want to do it? Yes, Alison doesn't want anything to do with Archer. Have you considered other options, such as giving this baby to an adoption center? Yes, and Alison doesn't want to carry Archer's baby for nine months. She's suffered enough.
She even got a massaging from Pennsylvania Government stating the reasons why she shouldn't abort. Emily made her read through it when everything Alison actually wanted was to just do it and go on with her life. She suspected that Emily was against it, but the brunette always respected her choices and opinions. Emily stayed with her until the end.
She was wheeled into a bright white room and placed onto a hospital bed. The doctor who would carry out the procedure asked once again if she was sure that she wanted it. Of course she wanted it. Then, she was given two medicines with very complicated names and waited, Emily holding her hand through the entire procedure. One hour later, she began to bleed. Emily called the doctor, obviously scared that something had gone wrong, but the doctor assured her that it was a common side effect from abortive pills.
That was when Alison knew it was over. She no longer could feel a new life growing inside of her. She had killed the creature inside of her and what hurt the most was that it had been banal: just a couple of pills and there you go. It wasn't ugly, but now Alison found no beauty in it. She supposed there was none. And thought she had been very headstrong about the procedure, Alison almost regretted it now.
Two days later and she was sent home. Two days later and she hasn't said a word and couldn't sleep. Whenever she dreamed, she saw the baby she gave up on. Sometimes it was a boy, sometimes it was a girl. They looked like her all the time, with soft blonde curls and baby blue eyes. Sometimes they're crying, wondering why Alison had decided to let them go. Sometimes they were happy and tucked into her arms as she sung a lullaby. And Emily was there all the times, either blaming her for giving up on the baby or kissing the little one's forehead. Alison doesn't know what hurts the most.
"Alison," Emily calls her, but she is unable to react until Emily shakes her gently, "Ali?"
"I killed a baby, Emily," She stares blankly ahead, not even making sense of her words before speaking.
"Technically, it was just a fetus, Ali. It didn't feel any pain," Emily tried to convince her, but it didn't work. Alison was in pain.
"I could've seen them grow up. They could've been a handsome boy or a beautiful girl, but I didn't give them the chance," Alison finally begins to cry, suddenly feeling empty inside, "I didn't give them a chance to live."
"Alison, you said you didn't want this baby," Emily softly reminded, "And it was justified because you've been abused by their father."
"But they aren't Archer, Emily!" Ali sobs "That could've been my chance to make it right and I just threw it all away!"
"Ali, don't!" Emily pulls the blonde into her arms and holds her tight. She knows they came together in the worst and not healthiest scenario possible, but that didn't mean she was going to let Ali suffer. If anything, Emily wanted to take away the pain. She could feel some of it, but she'd never understand Alison completely. This was Ali's battle alone, yet Emily had the obligation to support her, "You know you weren't ready for this! You didn't have enough money or structure or psychological stability for this baby."
"But you didn't want me to abort," Alison recalls, "You never told me, but you didn't want me to. You think I'm a murderess now!"
"No, Ali. I don't like the idea of an abortion and I think you don't as well. You weren't ready for this and I understand," Emily wipes the tears away from Ali's cheeks and plants a kiss on her forehead, "But I would totally help you with the baby if you decided to keep it."
Alison smiles weakly. It's her first smile in two weeks, "W-Would you?"
"I told you I'd stay by your side through everything. But you weren't ready now. Nor were we. You didn't deserve to go through that."
"I-It would be A-Archer's and-"
"It would be yours," Emily cuts in, "And that would be more than a reason for me to love them."
Alison cries now – of joy. Maybe, with Emily by her side, she can pull through this. Maybe, in a few years, she would get pregnant again. This time, of Emily's baby. And she would nurture it in the best way possible.
"Hold me, Em?"
"Anytime."
Alison has avoided babies for six months. It's been hard because it was as if there was a baby in every corner of Rosewood now. She faced them with as much grace as possible. But it almost put a strain on her friendship with Aria when the small woman revealed to the girls that she was pregnant of Ezra. Alison had been the only one who didn't squeal and Aria took it personally, even claiming that Alison was "insensitive to anyone's happiness but hers". And, while Spencer and Hanna gave her weird looks, Emily stood by her side, stating that Ali didn't have to react the same way everyone did and that didn't mean she wasn't happy for Aria.
One year and a half later, they moved out of Rosewood and Emily proposed. She bought a special version of "Great Expectations" and gave it to Ali with a marriage proposal on the first page. "You once said Pip gets Estella in the end. I got you in the end and every day with you is a different fairytale. Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, will you be my happily ever after?". Emily pulled out a ring from her pocket and Alison jumped into her arms, saying yes, yes, yes!
Two years later and Emily began to dance around the topic of having a baby. Alison wanted one as well. Her nightmares had become scarce, but they never quite left. Alison decided she would carry Emily's egg and use the sperm of a man with the same features as Alison's and no records of mental disorders. Today was their first try. What Alison didn't expect was that Emily was going to sweep her off her feet, carry her upstairs and take her to bed as soon as they got home. She pulled up Ali's shirt, revealing her tummy as she peppered kisses on the soft skin.
"Emily, what are you doing?"
Her wife looked up with an almost innocent look. Almost, "We're making babies!"
Alison giggled, "This baby was already made, Em! Besides, we can't actually make babies!"
Emily frowned, "The embryo is in there, but it lacks something."
"And what does it lack?"
The brunette slid up to Ali's eye level and cupped her face, "Love. It's all our little baby needs."
Ali rolled her eyes, "You're a dork!"
Emily winked, "And you're beautiful!"
"Let's see if you'll still think that way after my belly is bigger than me."
"God, I can wait until you're pregnant," Emily whispered in that sexy tone that made Alison go nuts, "Your tight and your boobs will get so delicious and your belly will get so sensitive. It's a shame that we'll have to change sex positions, though."
"Em," Alison tugged the brunette tresses gently to call her attention, "Do you think this will go right? I mean, I've had an abortion before, so I don't know if-"
Emily shut her up with a kiss, "It's gonna be okay, Ali. You have love now."
A few tears gathered on the corners of her eyes. Only then was Ali sure that her decision to abort had been right. She had no condition to raise them before, given that she was broke and had just got out of Welby. And she didn't have Emily Fields as her wife. She was glad that Emily understood her and supported her decision. Alison was proud of the woman she had become now. She was proud of the one person she would forever love and the things they built together.
"I love you, Em."
"I love you, too, Ali," Emily kissed her gently, "I love you and I'll do everything I can to protect you and our baby.
They made love, sweet and gently.
Alison found out she was pregnant one month later.
P.S: Please, don't think for a minute that I would support Emily raising Archer's child. But, on the other hand, Emily is just too loving, selfless and loyal to abandon Ali or get into a relationship with her without mothering her baby. This is one of the reasons this storyline forces them together.