Happy Valentines day, people. Dark Fortresses here, once again. Here is that promised Valentine's Day special. Enjoy.
Ah, the holidays. I hate the holidays. They're always so cheerful. I hate all things cheerful. I particularly hate Valentine's Day. Each time it rolls around, certain things happen. Well, I always remember the time it rolled around when I was about ten years old. I'm guessing you know about how you give Valentine's to everyone in your class, right? They did that at my school. To my classmates, I was that weird kid that came from Saint Petersburg. I'm just gonna tell you that I lived in Moskva (Moscow) at the time. Well, anyway, we had to give Valentine's to everybody. I took the time to get some for those lowlifes. My teacher at the time said to get everybody one or get none. Everybody got at least nine. I only got one. ONE!!! That day made me give up on all holidays, except for Russia's birthday, and I will continue to give up on holidays until I die.
You know what the King of iron Fist Tournament is? Well, it just happened to take place during February. The month that you celebrate Valentine's Day in. And all of the contestants, including me, had to go to some dumb college just to prove we're fighting in the Tournament. Anyway, there's this person named Anna Williams in a few of my classes, and she keeps staring at me weird. It's like she has a crush on me or something. She seems like the type to manipulate her boyfriends so I'd best be cautious. I've even heard that she's like an atomic bomb. Well, not really, but I think you know what I mean. Anyway, I almost sure she likes me. You'd either have to be on a mind altering drug or extremely crazy to have an attraction to me. Why? Well, some people say that I don't talk. I think that's kinda true but I have talked before. You think I'm lying don't you? Well, why I stopped talking is another story that I might tell later. Back to the Anna story. Each day she somehow moves closer to me each class. It seems like she likes playing musical chairs. Did I mention that the month of February is my favorite month? It was the day before Valentine's Day when she was right beside me, in biology class, I believe. For some strange reason, we didn't have a teacher to teach us, so Hwoarang decided that we would have 55 minutes of free time. Anna decided that we should have a conversation via my notebook. She started with a simple "hi". She actually had really nice writing. I replied with "why are you talking to me?" The conversation just went on from there. She suggested a relationship, like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I was stupid and went along with it, I guess. I actually took the time out of my life to make her a Valentine's Day card. Truthfully, I thought that I'd be single until I was thirty. We even continued the relationship until May, and even June.
We went to our home countries for summer vacation, and at least tried to have a relaxing vacation. Well, at least we tried. 'Turns out she really missed me, or so it seems. She e-mailed me every single day, even on those days when you'd expect a girl like her to be tanning or something. Hell, she even knew when my birthday was, so she sent me an old rifle used approximately 5 years ago. It was in pretty decent shape. By "decent", I mean it had two dents in it.
Anyway, the first day of school mainly consisted of me being in all of Anna's classes and Hwoarang trying to take complete control of the classes. That kid sure can be annoying. Ah, it was by was the most… What's the word I'm looking for again? Oh yeah, it was the most annoying first day of school I've experienced since I was probably 14. My locker was right beside the extremely hyper panda girl's locker. Her real name is Ling Xiaoyu. She seems to be afraid of me. Like whenever I open my locker when she's around, it looks like she dies a little inside. I also don't think my math teacher this year likes me very much. But I guess I just have to deal with it for the next year. Other than her, all of my teachers like me… I think.
As you all know, my least favorite day came around. The days leading up to it was pretty decent, Anna was obviously obsessing about it, Xiaoyu was still afraid of me, as usual, and I was figuring out what to do for Anna. Valentines Day started out fine. I did all the normal things I do in the morning, like, getting myself changed, brushing my teeth, grabbing a bagel, and going to school, the normal things a human being does. Once I got there, Anna was running up to me, more like skipping. The only thing she said to me was "your Valentine's already in your locker". So I just had to look in my locker. There was a "Valentine" sitting on my math book, I was surprised that a girl like her could break up with you via Valentine. I'll read it aloud.
"Dearest Sergei Dragunov,
The past year has been fun, but sadly I'm breaking up with you. Well, ever since I saw you in the fifth Tournament, I felt sorry for you. Knowing you, I guess you never really wanted a girlfriend anyway, but I'm so irresistible. Well, I hope you have a nice life back in Russia.
Sincerely, Anna Williams."
I should've known. She was a Williams sister, she always breaks up with you badly. She's probably with that Lee guy already. Maybe I should go on one of those dating sites…
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Happy hunting.