Through Glass Chapter One, a ghostbusters fanfic

Title: Through Glass

Rating: K

Pairing: None

Summary: Jillian Holtzmann meets some she finds interesting after a hard day of dealing with ghosts.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Ghostbusters, all original characters and this story belong to me, I do not give permission for this story to be reproduced anywhere. The lyrics to Through Glass belong to Stone Sour.

Chapter One... Through Glass.

Holtzmann found herself in a bar not far from the firehouse after a particularly difficult day, she had chosen it because it looked dark from outside. In the darkness she would be able to sit in peace and try to work through the events of the day. The darkness meant that she would be invisible for a little while. Saving the world does come with a downside, it means that almost everyone knows the faces of those that were heroes for that brief period of time.

It had been very busy with ghosts crawling out of almost every building in the local area. After putting the kit away and showering after the last call of day, everyone had gone their separate ways to unwind. Patty had gone home to read, Abby had gone in search of some decent wonton soup, and Erin had taken the footage of the day home with her to do some editing. Holtzmann took the chance to blend into the scenery and go unnoticed, something that did not happen too often these days. She sighed quietly and took a sip of her drink, she hoped she would be able to stay invisible for a while longer.

There was a little stage in the corner of the room and several people had been on it singing, Holtzmann guessed that it was some sort of open mic night where anyone could sing. Some of the performers had been good, though others needed to do some work on their singing. There had been a little break, but now there was a woman on the stage holding an acoustic guitar, she looked as if she was tuning it up.

Holtzmann took in every detail of the woman preparing herself on the stage, the short sleeved shirt she was wearing showed a full sleeve tattoo on her right arm of some impressively detailed roses. The other arm was tattooed with a feather and some little stars near to her wrist. Holtzmann wondered if those tattoos had any meaning to the woman on the stage, she supposed that they did. A flick of the wrist to move some of the black hair behind her ear revealed a dragon earring that started at the top and curled around her ear with the tail settled on her earlobe. Holtzmann had been so engrossed in watching the woman prepare for her song that she missed what her name was. She let her eyes drift to the black trousers the woman wore and what looked like a heavy pair of boots. It was obvious from the make up around her eyes and the clothing that the woman was anything but ordinary.

The drink that was next to Holtzmann was all but forgotten, her attention was totally focused on the woman on the stage, she wondered what song had been chosen by her. She guessed that the woman wouldn't be singing some screaming metal song as the guitar was not made for that. She held her breath as a few strokes across the guitar strings were accompanied by the woman talking about why she had chosen the song she would be singing.

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God, it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Holtzmann found herself leaning across the table to listen closer to the words that were coming from the woman's mouth. There was a brittle vulnerability to the singing voice the woman was using and Holtzmann wondered if it was because people had ridiculed the woman for being different. She had felt like that when the Ghostbusters had started up and people had called them frauds, it had affected Erin and Abby the most, it had hurt her to see her friends in so much pain. It was strange how people had changed their minds after all those ghosts had flooded the city, now they were heroes.

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
And while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

The words from the song seemed to seep into Holtzmann's soul, just as the judgement from people on the outside of it all had back at the beginning. The people that had judged them for going after ghosts had not seen the destruction caused in the lives of people living with a haunting. She had seen people too scared to go into their own homes through being attacked and hurt every time they entered the door. Who would help those people if herself, Abby, Erin and Patty did not? Helping people made the judgement of those who don't want to understand all worth it.

Holtzmann's attention was back on the woman singing, her voice seemed to waver every time she sang about sitting all alone, it made her wonder if the woman was lonely. Did she not have a family or a lover to go home to? She thought about her family, they had all but abandoned her when she had refused to give into their demands to give up her work in nuclear engineering. Her mother had always told her that it was unladylike to be working with machines all day. Holtzmann wondered for a brief moment if they knew she was now a Ghostbuster, they would be scandalised that she was making such a spectacle of herself.

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

The words of the verse made sense to Holtzmann, many people prided themselves on being normal, on fitting in and being the same as the people around them. She wondered if they were afraid of being different, of standing out from the crowd. She thought about herself, she had always stood out from the crowd. Holtzmann smiled briefly, nobody could ever call her normal, she would always fight it with everything she had. She would still be running around in overalls that had been stained with paint or singed in the lab during an experiment in her eighties. She allowed herself to imagine that the woman on the stage would be the same with her individual looks as well.

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Holtzmann was now well attuned to the little break in the voice of the woman every time she sang about being alone, she was certain that there was a great deal of loneliness in her life. A squeeze of her heart alerted Holtzmann to the idea that she wanted to help the woman feel a bit less lonely in the city they both inhabited. She examined her motives for wanting to help her, there was a large part of her that thought the woman was very beautiful. A bigger part of her wanted to help someone else find the happiness she had found with the Ghostbusters. Abby had given her a job when everyone else took one look at her appearance and turned her away. Erin could always be counted upon to be there when she needed someone to talk to. Patty brought a light to everything, no matter how dark it all seemed to be. Holtzmann smiled again, the thoughts of her friends had given her a very warm feeling in her chest.

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you

A wave of confusion ran through Holtzmann, she wondered if the woman meant the stars of the sky or the stars that some people revered and worshipped as Gods. She was almost certain that it was the latter as they made people think they have to look and be a certain way to be worthy of the good things in life. The world worships the conventionally beautiful and gifted, those that are unusual or considered ugly are left behind to fend for themselves. Holtzmann sighed, the world was a hard place to live in for some people, she wished that everything could be fairer to those who needed a lucky break but never got one.

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God, it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Holtzmann found herself leaning further forward, the woman's voice had got quieter as she sang the song, she noticed a few people in the audience doing the same. She took the time to study the woman's face, she had her eyes closed as she sang. It looked to Holtzmann as though she was trying to hold back her emotions in case they came flooding out as tears. She felt her heart squeeze again, there was obviously some real pain held in the heart of the woman on the stage. She took a deep breath, she had decided, she would definitely talk to her once she had finished the song.

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you

Who are the stars
Who are the stars they lie

The music faded out and a quiet applause rippled through the audience, Holtzmann watched the woman pack up her guitar in its case, she noticed how sad she looked as well. She waited until the woman had drawn almost level with her and she stood up, she noted how the movement had not gone unnoticed and she smiled. "Hey, I thought you should know, you were amazing up there." Holtzmann saw the surprise in the woman's eyes, she wondered if anyone had given her a compliment before.

"Thank you, that's very kind of you."
"I mean it. You look like you're headed off home, but, I'd like to buy you a drink." She watched the woman hesitate and she smiled. "I promise I don't bite," she said with a wink.

"Okay, one drink." Holtzmann smiled, she was glad the woman had agreed to stay.

Holtzmann picked up the drinks she had ordered and she carefully put the wine glass down in front of the woman and took a drink from the rum and coke she had ordered. "First things first, what's your name?" Holtzmann asked.

"Elizabeth."

"That's pretty, just like you." Holtzmann detected a faint blush as Elizabeth took a drink from her glass. "I'm Jillian, though my friends call me Holtz."

"Holtz, is that a nickname?"

"It is, my last name is Holtzmann, they just shorten it."

"Oh, I see."

"What do you do, other than sing in this bar?"

"I own an independent coffee and book shop with a friend."

"Sounds cool, I'm a nuclear engineer."

"Wow, so you've done a lot of training then?"

"I have, though I struck out on my own with a group of friends, a bit like you, we're an independent company."

"Sounds interesting." Holtzmann smiled, it was obvious Elizabeth had a genuine interest in everything that she was saying.

"Where are you from originally, your accent is definitely not American?"

"I'm from a small village in England, just outside of Cambridge."

"A beautiful English rose so far away from home."

"I suppose that's true, I am far away from where I was born."

"Why did you leave?" Holtzmann noticed that Elizabeth had stiffened as she had asked the question. "You don't have to tell me if it's something you don't want to talk about."

"Thank you." Holtzmann noted the relief in Elizabeth's voice.

"I left my home too, my parents did not approve of me wanting to go into science, apparently it's not ladylike. The final straw was when I came out as a lesbian, my mother said I had shamed the family."

"I'm sorry, that's a horrible thing for someone to say to their daughter."

"I'm over it, I have a family that loves me now, they are the best friends that anyone could ask for."

"Glad to hear it."

"What about you, do you have friends here?"

"Only the one, I find it hard to get to know people."

"Well, you know me now, so you can say you have two friends. I can introduce you to the rest of the women I work with, I think they will like you."

"Maybe one day, if you're not busy that is."

"I think we will find the time, we'll drop in for a coffee." Holtzmann saw a smile play across Elizabeth's lips and she smiled back.

Holtzmann listened to Elizabeth as she talked about the shop she owned, it was obvious that she had a passion for food and books. She let her carry on talking as she liked listening to her, her eyes lit up when she talked about something she was passionate about. "Elizabeth, do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, I don't have boyfriends." She wondered if that meant Elizabeth was not interested in men and her preference ran to women or she had given up on men because they had hurt her. She wanted to ask her, though she was wary of frightening her off now that she had started talking a bit more. Holtzmann tucked the question away for the future, there would be time enough to ask her when she was more comfortable with their friendship.

A few more minutes conversation passed between Holtzmann and Elizabeth before Elizabeth looked at her watch. "I'm sorry, I have to go, I have an early start tomorrow morning. We have an order for a client that is going to take most of the day to get ready."

"I'm sorry too, it has been nice to talk to such a beautiful and talented woman." Holtzmann saw a smile bloom on Elizabeth's face and a little blush to go with it. "I tell you what, I'll give you my number so you can call me and we can talk about those tattoos of yours." She scribbled the number down on a napkin from the bar and wrote her name on it, when she was done she handed it to Elizabeth. She watched as Elizabeth tucked the number carefully into her bag and zipped the pocket shut. "Here, you should take this, it has my number on it." Holtzmann took the business card that Elizabeth held out and she carefully put it into the pocket of her trousers.

Once Elizabeth had picked up her guitar, Holtzmann walked outside with her to flag down a taxi. "Make sure you're careful going home, there are some strange people in this city."

"I know, I have been here for a year, I have seen some odd ones in that time."

"Do I count as odd?" Holtzmann asked with a cheeky smile.

"Not at all, compared to some you are perfectly normal."

"Normal, no one has ever called me that before."

"Don't worry about those who say you're not normal, they don't know what they are talking about." Holtzmann acted on impulse and she hugged Elizabeth, she felt her stiffen and then relax into the hug. "I don't, most of the time, my friends accept my weirdness."

"Good, glad to hear it."

Holtzmann heard a taxi pull up outside the bar, it saddened her as she knew that Elizabeth would be getting into it and going home. She wanted to talk to her some more, though she knew that she would not be able to keep her. She held open the door to the taxi and closed it once Elizabeth had got inside. "I'll call you," Holtzmann said through the open window. "We can talk some more."

"I'd like that."

"Me too."

"Goodnight Jillian, or would you prefer if I used your nickname?"

"You can use my nickname."

"Then, goodnight Holtz, talk to you soon."

"Goodnight Elizabeth." Holtzmann watched the taxi leave until she could no longer see it and she whispered, "Goodnight, my English Rose."