A/N: This is a note I'm making WAY after creating this little…treasure. I'm just sprucing up and cleaning up several glaring errors that make me cringe in shame.
That is all.
Once again, Clyde had been invited over Lincoln's house to hang out, but before they could indulge themselves in world of comic books and video games, Lana and Lynn intruded on them, suggesting that they play a game of Extreme Hide and Seek with them. That, Lincoln explained to a confused Clyde, was a version of hide and seek that Lynn invented. The game required that everyone playing wear camo gear and hide out within the house. If the seeker couldn't find all of them in twenty minutes, he'd be forced to run a lap in the backyard, one for each person he/she failed to find. As to why that required camo gear, Lincoln explained that it was all in the name of adding aesthetic flair to the game.
All four agreed to playing and after drawing straws, it was Clyde who had to be the seeker. Once all four players were clad in camo, Clyde had to sit on the couch, cover his eyes, and count down from thirty to allow Lincoln, Lynn, and Lana to hide. After reaching zero, Clyde was on the hunt. While he was counting, he heard floorboards creaking, creaking that sounded reminiscent of all the times he recalled Lincoln coming down the stairs with a smorgasbord of snacks for them both so they could watch movie marathons. He decided that checking upstairs would be the best place to look first. As he walked up the stairs, he saw Luan approaching him, on her way to do something that required a black briefcase. She was also clad in a clown outfit.
"Hey, Luan. Where are you off to and what's with the suitcase?"
Luan pretended to be indignant for a little while, "Geez, Clyde, what's up with you? There's no reason to be on my case like that!" Luan laughed at her pun and ended her little joke with a signature, "Get it?"
Clyde chuckled for a little bit and resumed his ascension up the stairs, leaving Luan to go about her funny business. It had dawned on him that unintentional pun he just made in his head.
'Funny business. Man, I gotta write that one down. That'll be sure to get Lori to laugh.'
As he finally made it up the stairs, he heard the front door opening and looked down to notice a slightly groggy Luna Loud entering the premises, grabbing onto her black guitar case and apparently noticing something to her far left that got her attention. Not thinking much of it, Clyde resumed his search for Lynn, Lincoln, and Lana. He didn't think to check in any of Lincoln's sisters' rooms, thinking it to be way too awkward for him to walk in on a girl's room and look around for someone. Unless…
That was it! That's what someone like Lincoln was probably counting on him to do, which meant that they were the perfect places to check out. He noticed that one of the doors in the hallway was slightly open, so Clyde decided to head there first. He peeked through the small opening and noticed that no one was there. Creeping inside as quietly as he could, Clyde entered into the somewhat familiar room and scanned the area from the doorway.
'Nothing suspicious yet. Keep looking, McBride! You mustn't leave one stone unturned!'
He soon realized that by account of all the music posters littered all over one corner of the room and props and gags laid out in another corner, that this room belonged to Luan and Luna. He first went over to the pile of gag snakes, hoping to find Lincoln inside. When that produced no luck, he looked underneath the bunkbed and was distraught to find no sign of Lincoln there, either. He turned his head towards the door, ready to leave and try another room when he noticed something in the corner of his eye that made him jubilant.
"The closet," he whispered excitedly to himself. "How could I be so foolish as to not check there, too?"
Without a second thought, he made a beeline for the closet, swinging it open and peering inside. At first glance, he could find nothing except for some clothes and a couple of boxes, but that didn't stop Clyde from going further into the enclosed, dark space, thinking that Lincoln had wedged himself somewhere deep inside to avoid being detected. Once he was sure he looked everywhere inside, Clyde gave up, turning around to leave the closet but stopped himself once he heard the sound of humming right outside the room. He retreated back in the closet and slammed the door shut hurriedly.
'Luna! Oh no, what do I do?!' He was too scared out of wits to even think about coming clean with Luna, assuming that no amount of explaining would do away the scandalous implications of being in her room, never mind her closet. The humming got louder and as Clyde predicted, he heard the door opening from the other side of the closet. He couldn't tell what Luna was doing but he hoped it had nothing to do with going inside her closet and that she'd leave for him to get out of there fast.
Luna's next words offered him no such reprieve.
"That's it, that's the last time I'm letting Chunk book me in gigs that he was only able to get at the last minute. That auditorium was way too stuffy. Gotta get these threads off."
Clyde wasn't well versed in Luna's day to day lingo but even he knew threads meant clothes. Sure enough, he heard the rustling of clothes and slight strain of exertion from Luna. That was enough to get Clyde hyperventilating as his mind wandered to the possibilities behind the door. He stilled his breathing and nervous fidgeting as fast as he could, not wanting Luna to hear him.
"Now to get me a fresh pair of pretties," Luna declared, opening up her drawer to get a pair of purple panties with a skull imprint and a bra of matching color and sliding them on with ease. With only a clean pair of clothes left to obtain, Luna made her way to her closet, opened the door…
And found a petrified Clyde looking back at her, his eyes the size of dinner plates as he briefly saw the visage of a half-naked Luna before he quickly turned his head away and yelped in sync with Luna's startled shriek. Luna fell on her butt as she scrambled far away from the closet and covered her chest with her arms and crossed her legs. She fought back the urge to yell, knowing that the noise she made would attract attention to this very awkward situation so she settled on harshly whispering over to Clyde.
"Clyde! What the hell are you doing in my room?! IN MY CLOSET?!" She was seeing red now, believing that Clyde was intending to get an eyeful of her unmentionables and was only asking him his intentions out of formality. Clyde quickly objected to the allegation as fast as he could but only found himself able to spew out a train of mismatched syllables and guttural noises together. This got Luna's attention in a hurry. She remembered how he'd only talk like that at either the mention or sight of Lori, meaning that he was truly flabbergasted and not putting on an act.
As Luna looked on at Clyde, she finally began to realize a few more things that made the case for Clyde's innocence seem concrete.
One, he was wearing the same outfit that she briefly saw Lincoln wearing as she entered the house, meaning that Clyde was partaking in whatever activity apparently required him to be holed up in her closet.
Two, despite not knowing him all that well, Luna had a pretty good idea that Clyde wasn't known to be the voyeur type, at least on this level. She figured he was guilty of watching Lori from afar at a distance a few times before but definitely while she still had her clothes still on and not in the cramped confines of her room where he could easily be discovered.
Three, he was doing his best to shield his eyes from her bra and panties clad figure, turning his head away and shutting his eyes for dear life. The frantic waving of his arms in front of his face, as if he were trying to swat a fly away, was also a reassuring indication that he was trying to preserve some modesty.
At this point, Luna was willing to give Clyde the benefit of the doubt but as she let the quandary settle, she began to realize…other things.
One, besides Lincoln and her own father, this had been the first time that a boy had seen her like this. She figured that this much of her body would be shown off to someone outside of her family when she settled down with boyfriend, not to Lincoln's best friend.
Two, this was the strongest reaction she ever got from the opposite gender. She wasn't a fool, since she knew that most of that had to do with the fact that someone at Clyde's age probably never saw another girl like this, unless he did a picture search on his computer for that sort of thing. The response from the blushing, stuttering boy was oddly enough, both flattering and adorable, so much so that she didn't even bother to cross her arms in front of her chest anymore.
Three, the usually dormant wanton part of her brain was kicking into high gear now. Seeing Clyde trembling before her evoked promiscuously devious intentions to bubble to the surface and strive towards one objective: to tease Clyde McBride and enjoy the jollies that were sure to follow.
Getting on all fours, she called out to Clyde in order to get his attention, putting on her British accent and vernacular in the process.
"Oi, Clyde, don't worry 'bout it. I understand what you were doin' up here."
"Y-y-y-you do?" Clyde still had himself shielded from the brunette beauty in fear of his life, not daring to turn his head to face her lest she was still in a state of undress. Luna knew that this wouldn't do and tried poking the bear again with a bigger stick to get him to look at her.
"Mmmhmm. Gotta say, love, you're quite the cheeky one. Lookin' to catch a glimpse a' me in me bra and knickers?"
"What?! No, no, no, no, no! You got it all wrong! I swear I wasn't being a peeper!" Clyde fervently protested. He instinctually turned to look up at Luna, to look her in the eyes so she could see that he was being sincere by not lying to her face, but what he saw from the girl across the room from him was enough to get a hearty wheeze out of him, followed by stammering similar to what he was doing before. Luna had her eyes half lidded, her eyebrows wagging suggestively, and her mouth fashioned in a smirk.
"Swear all you like," Luna began crawling over to him, doing her best to stifle laughter at how beet red his face was. No matter how hard he tried to avert his eyes away from her, she'd catch his vision briefly returning to her breasts. Bingo. "But we both know that's not true, don't we, Mr. McBride?"
"I, uh, I mean I don't…I-I don't…"
"If you had a hankering for me, Clyde, all you had to do was ask. Luna Loud always delivers."
By now, Luna was just a few inches before him and to her smug satisfaction, she found that Clyde was in too much awe of her to look away. Reaching out to him with one hand, she traced the underside of his chin with her pointer finger, the fingernail inciting sensations on his skin that made him shiver.
"Why settle for Lori when you could have a spritely lil' spitfire like yours truly?"
Her finger descended from his chin to his throat, once again letting the fingernail graze his skin and evoke tingling fire. She looked up at Clyde again and once more, found his twitching and fidgeting to be worth all of this. Now, her teasing digit found its way down his collarbone, smoothly following the groove that the bone made.
"H-have?" Clyde finally found speech, at least of the somewhat intelligible kind, possible as he questioned Luna's intentions and suggestive word choice.
"Yep. I mean, it's clear you like what you see so then," her hand left his collarbone in favor of grabbing one of his own, guiding it towards her until the flat of his palm was pressed against her midriff, his pinky centered into the hollow hole of her navel. "How about what you feel?"
Before he could predictably jolt away, Luna quickly pressed down on the grasp she had on his hand by laying down her other hand on top of that, ensuring that Clyde would be a prisoner by both her physicality and her own appeal. Much to her chagrin, Clyde wasn't looking at her anymore, training his eyes on her window instead. All the same, she figured that it was time to wrap things up and go for the final blow, anyways.
"Say, Clyde?" she asked, now dropping the British accent in favor of her natural one.
Despite everything that Luna had initiated so far, Clyde still answered her, knowing by the sultry tone of her voice that she wasn't done with him yet.
"Uh huh?"
"You ever kissed a girl before?" This time, she couldn't help herself. She sniggered at how wide Clyde's eyes had gotten. He shook his head to tell her that he truthfully never kissed girl.
"Well then, how 'bout you let lil' 'ol me fix that for you, eh?" That got Clyde to turn his head to Luna again, to confirm whether or not he heard her words correctly. As soon as he did, though, he found Luna's face and lips less than an inch away from his. Without thinking, he shut his eyes, preparing for what was sure to a moment he's never forget.
That is, until he heard laughing.
He cracked one eye open to find Luna sprawled out on the floor, pounding her fists on the carpet as she chortled at the charade she just pulled off. It didn't take a genius to realize that Clyde had been played, but despite being used for her own merriment, Clyde couldn't help but join in on the laughter, too, relief washing over him that a…relatively normal status quo was established and that Luna didn't actually harbor actual feelings for him. That would be weird.
If Lori were to initiate this, on the other hand…
The laughter finally died down on Luna's part after she realized that she was still in her nothing but her undergarments and quickly went into her closet to retrieve a fresh pair of her signature skull top and plaid skirt to put on. Now that she was no longer "in the zone" anymore, she felt a slight sense of shame return to her, although not as pronounced as before this all started. Clyde soon stopped his laughing as well in favor of picking himself up to venture outside of Luna's room and back in the game. As…"fun" as this experience was, he couldn't wait to go back to his friends. As Clyde shuffled towards the door to leave, Luna called out to him again.
"Hey, Clyde?" Clyde turned around without hesitation and was thankful to see Luna in her clothes.
"Yeah, Luna?"
"Mum's the word?" Luna requested, not wanting this little bout of shenanigans to leave the room. She knew that the wrong assumptions might be made about her flighty little tease and she was comfortable with the fact that despite her immoral decision, she was truly never going to go too far. All the same, not dealing with the hassle was better than confronting it in the first place.
Clyde understood and assured his pact of secrecy, "Mum's the word." Clyde figured she'd have a lot of explaining to do for her actions if what she did leaked out. Besides, there was no way he'd get with Lori if she found out about this interaction.
Although, as he looked back at Luna and watched as she winked at him before turning her attention to her electric guitar, he could feel his cheek tinging with another shade of pink.
Maybe…just maybe, Luna wouldn't be a horrible alternative, after all.
A/N: Crackfics are love, crackfics are life. I understand this now, sensei. Thank you for your guidance. I originally wrote this up as an apology for being somewhat late with Chapter 6 of S&T but I feel like I may have a lot of apologizing to do after conjuring up this literary piece of madness so that's kind of moot, don't you think?