Let Me Take Care of You
"I came as soon as you called," a low growl sounded through the empty room.
Dean looked towards the familiar voice, across the chaos that he had created, "Cas," he choked. The newly reinstated angel looked just the same. He had donned a new beige trench coat and still had a dress shirt underneath. Dean tripped over the furniture and books that he had thrown in order to get to Cas. When he reached him, Dean threw his arms around the man he'd missed so much. The physical contact was too much and Dean broke down in sobs, head rested in the crook of Cas' shoulder.
Cas stiffened slightly at this display, but slowly, he lifted his arms and placed them gingerly around the crying Winchester, supporting him before he could collapse to the floor.
"Dean..." Cas said softly, "Talk to me." Dean shook his head, tears flowing steadily into Cas' coat. He sighed, "Come on, you have to walk."
Clumsily, Dean still hanging on the angel for support, they made their way out of the cluttered library and to Dean's room. Cas gently lowered Dean onto his bed, where he sat sniffing, his eyes red and puffy. Cas stepped back, leaning against the desk. He looked down at Dean. He was only a shell of the man he had used to know. His cheeks were hollow, he'd obviously lost weight, and he looked as though he hadn't slept in days. He also reeked of alcohol.
"Now," Cas finally said, "Please tell me what's wrong. Where is everyone? Sam? Kevin?"
Dean clenched his eyes shut, more tears making their escape down his cheeks. After a few deep breaths, Dean was able to meet Cas' eyes, "Sam's gone. Angel inside of him wasn't Ezekiel. And before he left..." he gulped, "uh... he... he killed Kevin." Cas tried not to betray the shock he felt on his face. He knew that it would only make Dean feel worse.
"How long has it been since... since Sam left? I'm still not used to a human's passage of time," Cas asked.
Wiping his eyes, Dean wracked his brains. Everything was such a blur nowadays, "Uh... three or four days. I- I don't really know." Dean took a gasping breath, "Cas, it's all my fault. I let that psycho into Sam and now... I did this," he let his head drop into his hands.
Cas stepped forward and knelt in front of Dean. He placed his hands on the hunter's knees and, as Dean looked up, gazed into his tear-filled green eyes, "You couldn't have foreseen this. Don't blame yourself."
"How can you say that?" Dean asked incredulously, "I was so stupid!"
"But you were stupid for the right reasons," Cas said gently, "Even the dumb things we do have good intentions. You were trying to save your brother. I understand, probably better than anyone, how this feels."
A single tear fell from Dean's eye. Cas put his hand on Dean's cheek and wiped away the tear with his thumb. Dean leaned his face into Cas' palm. It felt good to have his back there. He had felt awful sending him away, but he had thought he was doing the right thing. He had been wrong, about so many things.
"I'm so sorry..." he whispered, closing his eyes and feeling the warmth of Cas' hand.
"What?" asked the angel.
Dean opened is eyes again, "I said, I'm sorry. I am so sorry for throwing you out. It was just another thing I screwed up. I'll probably never be able to fix what I broke with you..." he trailed off.
Cas furrowed his brow, removing his hand from Dean's cheek, "Dean," he said, "There is nothing that can't be fixed. And as far as you and I are concerned, there is nothing broken." On impulse, Cas leaned forward and caught Dean's lips with his own. He saw the hunter's eyes widen in surprise and then close as he gave in to Cas' kiss. Cas let his own eyes flutter closed as he put his hands back on Dean's face.
The hunter reached out and clutched Cas' shoulders, opening his mouth and slipping his tongue into the angel's mouth. Cas sighed, stroking Dean's cheeks. This felt right, he thought, listening as Dean's sad sniffs became fewer and fewer. All he wanted was for Dean to be happy again, no matter how temporary the fix was.
"Cas..." Dean gasped, barely audible because he was still connected to him by the lips, "You don't have... to do this..."
The angel nipped gently at Dean's bottom lip, "I want to," he mumbled. Cas put his hand on the back o Dean's neck and grabbed the scruff there, causing the other man to moan. The sound caused a tightness to spread throughout Cas' core. He as still getting used to the physical manifestations of attraction, but with Dean, it felt the most natural.
Dean was trying to slide the new trench coat from Cas' shoulders. He untangled himself from the hunter and the garment slid off, onto the floor. Dean reached for Cas' collar but stopped short. He stopped kissing Cas and looked at him in confusion.
"No tie?" he asked, a small smile playing around Dean's lips.
Cas shrugged, "You told me to lose the tie." He gestured at the top two buttons of his dress shirt, which were undone, "I took the rest of your advice too."
Dean pursed his lips and tilted his head slightly, "I think you need to unbutton a few more. Let me," he said softly. He reached out and began unbuttoning Cas' shirt. As he moved down the shirt, his fingers brushed the bare skin of Cas' sternum, causing Cas to gasp in excitement. He grabbed Dean's hands, feeling the callouses put there by a lifetime of hunting. Dean had been fighting for so long. His whole life had been given to protecting Sam and is father. Dean held himself responsible for the world. He had given everything for the well-being of everyone except, Cas realized with a pang of sadness, himself.
Cas lifted Dean's hands up to his lips and kissed them. Dean closed his eyes again, relishing the intimate gesture. Cas placed Dean's hands back on his knees and finished unbuttoning his own shirt and discarding it on the floor. Dean just stared at him as though he had never seen anything like Cas before.
"I could've-" he stammered, but Cas cut him off with a kiss.
"I know," Cas whispered, looking Dean in the eyes, "But I want you to let me take care of you for once. You deserve to be taken care of. May I do that for you?"
Dean nodded. Cas smiled sweetly, pushing the hem of Dean's shirt up. He felt the entirety of Dean's chest before whipping it over his head and throwing it onto the ever increasing pile of clothes. Dean was breathing heavily from arousal and nervousness. Castiel got off of his knees and slowly straddled Dean, placing his hips squarely on top of the hunter's. Dean inhaled sharply. Cas could feel the stiffness beneath the denim of Dean's pants as well as the growing hardness in his own trousers.
He ran his fingers through the hunter's hair again. Dean closed his eyes, a low groan issuing from his throat. Dean slid his hands up Cas' thighs and around his hips, lightly squeezing his ass. Cas leaned down and put his lips to the curve of Dean's neck, kissing and sucking, making Dean moan in the process. When he pulled away, a dark hickey remained. Cas let his hand slide from the top of Dean's shoulder over the handprint on Dean's left bicep. He gripped it slightly and smiled.
"It is wonderful to truly see you again, Dean," he murmured.
Dean gave him a puzzled look, "What are you talking about?"
Cas kissed him lightly, "When I first met you, in Hell, I saw your soul. I held it in my hands. Then, even after I met you physically, I continued to see your soul," Cas said, a small frown creasing his brow, "When I was human, I could no longer see your light. It was the first time I ever saw your face." He traced his fingers over Dean's cheek, "It was like nothing I had ever seen. You were so beautiful. And now that I have grace again, I can choose which to see."
Dean chuckled softly, "So, what're you looking at right now?"
"Both," Cas replied simply, "And you are more beautiful than I could ever imagine."
"Oh Cas," Dean sighed, passionately, grabbing the angel by the back of the neck and pulling him into a kiss. The force of their collision forced Dean onto his back, their torsos pressed together.
Without even realizing it, Cas had begun grinding his hips into Dean's, their erections rubbing together through the fabric of their pants. Neither of them could stop from moaning into each other's lips, neck, torso, or wherever they placed their mouths. Cas got off of Dean quickly and stripped down to nothing. Before Dean could do the same, Cas had already thrown his pants and boxers onto the floor as well.
Not wasting another moment, Cas slip between Dean's legs and took him into his mouth. Dean cried out, gripping the sheets with one hand and Cas' hair with the other. Cas grasped Dean's hip with one hand and put the other to good use, massaging Dean's balls.
"Ah, Cas," Dean moaned, arching his back in pleasure, "Oh, it feels so good. I- I'm cumming."
Cas began moving his head faster, his tongue helping him get every inch of Dean's shaft. When Dean came, Cas swallowed, moaning as he tasted all Dean had to give. He licked his lips as he looked back up at Dean. The hunter's gaze was wild and filled with lust.
Smiling again, Cas made his way up to Dean's face and kissed him firmly. When he pulled away, he said in a husky growl, "May I make love to you, Dean Winchester?"
Dean pulled him down for another kiss and said, in a breathless tone, "Yes."
Cas lifted Dean's hips up so that he could look him in the eyes as they made love. Dean was a bit nervous and it must have shown on his face, because Cas asked, "Is everything ok, Dean?"
He nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine, Cas. It's just... don't we need lube or- or something?"
"Dean," Cas said soothingly, "I won't hurt you. I am an angel," he shot Dean a mischievous grin.
Dean let out a surprisingly light hearted laugh, "I trust you."
Cas grasped his hunter's hips firmly and, his eyes never leaving Dean's, pushed into him. The noised that escaped Dean was so arousing that Cas almost came right then. Getting ahold of himself, Cas began to thrust evenly into Dean, unable to keep himself from moaning Dean's name.
Dean looked up at his angel, watching as he drove into him. Every time he thrust, Dean sighed at the shock of pleasure that rushed through him. Cas' grip on his hips became tighter and Dean knew Cas was close to finishing. He looked at Cas and was astounded by what he saw. In his passionate state, Cas had let his wings unfurl. They were no longer fully plumed, but broken and featherless and still, they were magnificent.
"Dean," Cas said, breathing fast, "I'm gonna-"
"Oh, Cas," Dean cried, "Do it."
With one final thrust, Cas climaxed. Both he and Dean let out loud cries, Cas' voice taking on its angelic pitch and making Dean's ears ring. As he pulled out, Dean saw Cas' wings flicker and then fade from view. Cas flopped onto his stomach next to Dean, one arm thrown over Dean's chest and resting his head on the hunter's shoulder. When Cas turned his head to look at him, he saw that Dean was beaming, the first full smile he'd seen in years.
"What?" he asked.
"You," Dean replied simply, "you're beautiful."
"So are you," Cas said. A moment of silence passed between them and then Cas said, "Dean?"
"Hmm?" the hunter answered.
"I want to take care of you..." the angel said, "and love you for the rest of your life. I love you Dean."
Dean pressed a kiss to the angel's forehead, "I love you too, Cas."
"We'll fix this, ok?" Cas continued, "You don't have to do this alone."
"Ok," Dean nodded, "No matter what happens, at least we'll be together."
"Yes," Cas agreed, "Together."