Disclaimer: I do not own Hana Yori Dango, but I sure wish I knew Kamio-sensei.

Thoughts about the past

Ever since I can remember, there has always been something keeping me away from whom I truly love. Maybe it was just my luck. To begin with, my ignorance kept me from seeing the true Domyoji and his utterly honest feelings for me. Well, what could I expect from the person who was supposed to be my "enemy?" Fall restlessly in love with me after all of the times he had enjoyed torturing me? Well, his complete turn around from a complete jerk to a rationalized person shocked me beyond belief. Since the first time we came in contact with each other, I've always felt so menial compared to his existence. His actions didn't do much to help how I felt, he was a complete pig, a sissy who preferred to hurt anyone and anything that seems to think indifferently from him.

My ignorance, as you may not know, lasted for what seemed like decades, until he finally captured me. During the time of my denial, I felt like a convict trying to run away from something, or should I say someone, whom I will later realize will do me good. But now that I realized his feelings as well as mine, he's gone. It's too late. He's now in New York learning the ropes of managing the whole Domyoji Corp. You may assume that I'm miserable, but the truth is I'm happy, we're both happy. I'm proud of him and as I promised, once he returns, I'm forever going to be his, and his alone.

I've known about him before he even knew I existed. Domyoji Tsukasa belonged to the Domyoji Financial Group, where as to say, he's untouchable. I used to despise him and the rest of F4 without having really known why they've turned out the way they did. I based my judgment on how they acted towards the rest of us at Eitoku. I hated the fact that we'd let "them" control what goes on with our school life. With one word or signal of their hands, we bow down as their slaves. It just wasn't right and I never really understood why I've kept my thoughts in the dark for so long. Perhaps, it was because I was partially afraid? No, that wasn't it, I just wanted to live the rest of my high school years in peace, to remain in the dark and not be noticed. However, the weed inside of me forced through the barrier that I had built ever since I entered Eitoku. At the site of Domyoji penalizing my only friend at Eitoku, Makiko, I couldn't help myself for wanting to stand up for her. At that point, I have had it with his "all mighty" status, how he looks down on others that are not in the same level with him. I recall the expression he had when I, not only answered back, but also insulted him in front his friends, it was full of hatred. Those cold black orbs looking down on me made me shiver. From then on, I knew what I had coming.

The war declared on me, I had anticipated as much, came too soon and I knew it would put me through hell and back. Everyday the students of Eitoku found ways to torment me. The pathetic thing here was that even the guys went to such length as to physically hurt me. What bastards! However, what I never imagined would happen was that Domyoji gradually fell in love with me. He had given me hints about his feelings, such as his jealousy over Kazuya and then there was our "supposed" date. Truthfully though, how was I to really believe he felt something for me if all he did was torture me? Actually, I'm talking nonsense. He may have tortured me in the beginning, he even tried to take "advantage" of me, but there were also numerous times when he showed me through his actions, that I meant something to him.

I recall that one-day when that God-awful Sakurako had framed me. There were "intimate" pictures of me with another guy scattered all over the campus. It was all a lie! A stupid lie, but I didn't care what other people thought. What surprised me was the pain I felt when I saw the look of hurt on Domyoji's face and the fact that he couldn't even trust me. That baka! Heh.. I didn't know then, but I longed to always see that baka smiling like the fool he was. And the fact that at that instance, his smile had faded and his eyes had gone back to the same cold black orbs that it once was, it pained me to know that I had been that reason.

When we had gotten back from the Shigeru's island, the papparazzi's had seperated me from him, I saw that man approach Domyoji and stab him openly in the public. I wanted to stop it, but there were so many people between us. He was immediately hospitalized, the second time he was hospitalized in my presence, except this time, he wasn't protecting me. When he first opened his eyes and didn't recognize who I was, I honestly thought it was a joke. Unfortunately, with my luck, it had been true, he had gotten amnesia from the attack. With my friends encouraging me from the sidelines, I knew I had to do something, something that will make him remember. I tried being nice, tried bringing him things that I had done for him in the past, tried acting like the way I did when I first contradicted him, but all of that didn't work. Little did I know that little wrench of a friend that I recently made was backstabbing me. I didn't know what to do, I felt as though everything we've been through had gone down the drain and will never resurface again. I was really ready to give up, to give up everything that had happened between us, my heart was crushed. It's funny though that the last thing that I ever did to him, I had thrown something at his head, was what made him remember. While walking home, I bumped into him, I was ready to scream my head off, until he said something, I had to do a double take until I realize that he regained his memories. It made me happy, actually ecstatic that I had him once again.

The night of his prom.. ''Stifles a laugh.. it just went all wrong. I came with normal clothes because my dress was ruined during the move. He was late due to last minute business meetings. Even though everything went wrong that night, it was still special. But what really struck me most about that memorable night was how F4 made me feel. Though I was, no.. I always am the odd ball out, they made me feel special by showing me how much I meant to them. It would never have phase me that someone as minial as I am, could have some impact on these four guys. Deep down though, they have all left their mark and influenced me to who I am now. The last dance I had with Tsukasa, I was overwhelmed with happiness and at the same time, I was depressed. I knew in a few days after that night, he was leaving for New York.

I don't even need to say anything more. It's evident that Domyoji and I have been through hell and back. We've been through things that even elder couples have never had to go through. And after all this trial and tribulations, we're still together. I guess it's safe to say, the reason why we both managed through all of this, to simply put it, we truly love each other.

I feel as though, everything that had happened is all in the past and the future will finally bring me what I have always wanted. Domyoji. God how I missed this baka! Truthfully though, I would never dream of changing anything that had happened because it's what made us the way we are now. It only made us stronger, individually and as a couple. However, I would still have to wait another year until he can finally be with me.

AN: I'm not sure if anyone knows yet, but I've heard that Kamio-sensei is suppose to pick up where she left off with Hana Yori Dango. So, we'll all finally be able to read more of what happens between Domyoji and Makino I'm quite ecstatic about that too!. Until then, my imagination is all I have to keep my excitement at a normal level.