Disclaimer: I own nothing. Quel dommage. Enjoy!
An (Ab)Normal Day At The Wayne Manor
It was an abnormal day in the Wayne Manor as the entire family was home doing various activities that surprisingly did not involve stopping crime or working on anything related to that. Hence the word 'abnormal.'
Dick was bored. So painfully bored. And sitting with Tim going over collage math was not something that would make him un-bored.
Alfred, the best butler in most everyone's opinions, was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for that night. A sweet and spicy orange sauced chicken over fired vegetables and a bowl of Jasmine white rice with a side of Asian sesame salad. And a fresh batch of the infamous Alfred's Cookies for dessert.
Bruce Wayne was the head of the family (or so he thought, everyone knew that it was actually Alfred who ran the Manor),the number one man for remaining in first place in 'Most Sexiest Men' magazines (among a numerous things) and father to four boys and one girl (who was most likely at the moment in China kicking butt). He was currently holed up in his office, slumped in his chair, filling out an everlasting supply of paper work that Wayne Enterprise kindly decided to dump on him (it was his company for heaven's sakes!). He sighed as he painfully pulled himself more upright and started sorting through the papers, rolling his eyes here and there as he read the ideas that some of his managers had come up with. No, they were not going to build firemen poles from floor to floor. They could very well take the elevator or stairs. Apparently some wanted a pool on the roof to go swimming while on break. Well, they could probably install a fountain. With some fish. And maybe a duck or two.
Down in the Garage, Jason, the rogue child recently turned un-rogue (well, getting there) was trying to fix his run-down broken Volvo. He was quickly starting to get quite agitated as his car was determined to not become fixed. He glared at the car, which he had given the title of The Charlene; named after a girl he had had a crush on back when he was alive for the first time and attending Gotham Academy (the name just seemed to fit as Charlene had been quite stubborn), but unfortunately glaring didn't fix it.
"Is it this wire or that wire?" He muttered to himself holding in each hand (what looked like to him) five thousand different wires. Shrugging his shoulders he randomly plopped one into a socket and connected it, hoping that he got the right one. He didn't. A string of beautiful curses flew from his mouth as he jerked his hand away hoping the electric shock didn't leave a burn. His hand came back dripping in some sort of black gooey stuff, its origin unknown.
"Okay then, not the blue one." He wiped his hand on his pants, rummaging through a tool box and pulling out more wires. "Maybe the red?"
Damian, the youngest bird of the family was exercising a great deal of self-control by not yelling at his cat, Alfred. He had been sitting there for the past hour with it, trying to train it how to sit on command. It wasn't working. So now he decided how to teach it to 'come'.
"Alfred," Damian said sharply, "Come." The cat looked at its owner and simply meowed, not moving an inch.
"Come." Damian repeated louder. Instead of the cat coming, a massive, barking Great Dane came barreling towards the ten year old, knocking Damian over and licking his face.
"Down boy!" Damian tried to push his dog off him, "Sit!" The dog sat. "On the floor!" Titus got off Damian and sat on the floor.
"Good boy, Titus." Damian said approvingly to his dog, picking himself up. He turned to Alfred the Cat, and frowned at it.
"You should learn from Titus. He knows how to come and sit."
Alfred the Cat looked at Damian.
"Meow."
Ignoring all the ruckus that his younger brother was making in the hallway outside the living room, Tim straightened the books and paper he had laying on the coffee table and handed his oldest brother, who was sprawled out on a chair next to him, a pencil and blank sheet of paper.
"Okay, now that I re-explained that to you for the seventh time, find X." He had trying to help Dick prepare for his collage test that was coming up longer than Damian had been trying to teach the cat how to sit.
Dick looked at the paper, took the pencil, wrote something on the math sheet that was lying in front of him, and handed it back to the seventeen-year old.
Tim took a deep breath and let it out, knowing that a headache was on its way. "No Dick. When they say 'Find X,' they mean solve the equation, not circle the letter X on the paper."
Dick moaned and dramatically threw his hands up into the air and flopped onto the couch with a dramatic sigh. "Oh Timmy! I dothest not knowest what thouest sayest!"
"Dick, solve the equation." Tim repeated, ignoring his brother, who was miming a person dying in excruciating pain.
"But Timmers, I'm booaarrrddd!" Dick wailed.
"You're doing math! How could you be bored?"
Dick looked over at the seventeen-year old sitting next to him. "You know, I think you're the only person on this earth who has ever said that before." Tim rolled his eyes.
"Dick, your math problems aren't going to solve themselves, you know."
"Posh on math problems," Dick said with a wave of his hand. "I can't focus right now." Tim groaned and seriously considered joining Damian in training the cat.
Dick grinned and turned to his little brother who was looking at him with an expression that read How are you even a college student with straight A's?
"Because I'm awesome," Dick answered reading Tim's face. Tim's next face read one of Right. Do your math.
"But Timsters, I'm boorred!" he repeated and slouched further on the couch.
It was just then that Jason stormed into the room, his clothes and hands black with his hair sticking straight up looking like he'd just styled his hair to resemble that of a porcupine or he had just suffered from an electric shock.
"Of course, it had to be the green wire. Why on earth was the stupid wire green!?" Jason muttered to himself under his breath.
"Having a bit of car trouble, Jay?" Dick inquired sitting up a bit, trying (and failing) to keep the huge grin off his face.
The string of curses was an answer enough
"Well, you're not the only one having some problems; Dick here is having brain trouble." Tim said sarcastically, jutting a thumb at said person.
"I already told you, Timm-arroo. I'm bored, not having brain trouble."
Jason looked from Dick to Tim than back to Dick. "You've always have brain trouble."
"Huh!? Jay! How could you be so mean?" Jason just looked at Dick.
"You know, Dick-" Tim started to say but wasn't able to finish his insult-er, sentence, because Titus chose that moment to charge into the room, holding in his mouth what looked to be the remains of some sort of electrical device, Damian running in after him, yelling at his dog in Arabic.
The Great Dane wasn't able to slow itself down, so the dog simply collided with an already very annoyed Jason Todd. The force of the charging dog caused Jason to stumble backwards, trip over the coffee table, and fall onto it. Papers went flying everywhere, and the ones that didn't were quickly drenched in Tim's coffee that had been in its mug only five seconds ago. Tim, for his part, had lunged forward in an desperate act to save his computer from being smashed by Jason (and the dog that was on Jason), which ended up in a failure, due to the fact that Damian, who had tripped over Dick's extended legs, crashed right into him.
All in all it was a moment of chaos, annoyance and barking (and swearing). And when Bruce walked in the Living Room to ask Tim a question, he found said person underneath a pile of bodies and one barking dog.
He sighed and agreed with himself to ask the question later. After he had a cookie, of course.
"If my computer is broken, you two are going to be the ones to write up the new code I was working on for five days." Tim threatened with a growl, his voice sounding muffled, after his brothers had stopped yelling. To some degree.
"Get off me you stupid dog!" Jason yelled at the dog, which didn't move, deciding it was quite comfortable on top of the young adult.
"Tt-Todd don't you dare touch my dog. Drake, get your face out of my face!" Damian tried to push himself off of the seventeen year old, and that only made things worse.
"You know Damian, I am hungry, but your foot doesn't look very appetizing." Dick joked as he tried pushing his younger brother's foot away from his mouth. That caused Damian to roll over and fall half on top of Jason and the dog and half on Tim and the floor.
"Woops, sorry there, Little D, here, let me help you," Dick said before any of his brothers could start yelling at him. He stood up and stepped forward, and tripped over his math book that had fallen on the floor. He toppled on top of the dog. The dog barked and scrambled up. Jason swore in five different languages. Tim's computer broke. Damian yelled in Arabic. Tim very quickly joined Damian.
"Ahem," the noise quickly ceased and the boys looked (for the ones that could) over to see Alfred standing in the doorway.
"Dinner has been prepared and is now ready."
"Ahh…thanks Alfie!" Dick said.
"Wonderful, now if you're all done crushing poor Master Timothy, I shall see you soon," Alfred then left, turning to the cat that had walked in a little earlier and had been sitting on the floor watching the events unfold.
"Come now, Alfred," Alfred said to the cat and walked out the door, the cat quickly following.
"Oh, now it learns how to 'come,'" Damian grumbled.
"Damian, tell your stupid dog to get ! #$ off me!" Jason yelled.
"Titus, go sit!" Damian ordered. The dog sadly obeyed, and, with what Jason could've sworn, a look of disappointment from having to move from its comfortable spot on the top of the pile, scrambled down from it and sat down on the floor. Jason finally managed to pick himself up and off the coffee table with a groan and glare at the dog. Damian managed to stand up and walked over to the discombobulated electrical device that Titus and stole from him and joined Jason at glaring at the dog.
"You owe me a new iPod," He said to his Great Dane.
"Woof!" The dog answered.
"And you owe me a new computer and code," Tim seethed. "I was five days into that thing, and you,-argh!" Tim threw his hands up in exasperation and seriously considered throwing the left over remains of his computer at Jason, Damian, and mostly the dog.
"Now, now, Timmy," Dick said in a soothing voice, "Think happy thoughts that don't involve hurting anybody or any animals."
Tim glared at him.
Jason scoffed. "Yeah right, I still have to fix that darn car, and now I smell like dog."
"Tt-you always do."
"I have half the mind to shoot that dog. And you while I'm at it."
Damian snorted, "You can try, but a buffoon like you would never be able to."
"Is that a challenge?" Jason shot back.
"You aren't going to do anything until you type up my five days' worth of code." Tim spoke up, picking up his broken computer. It was a good thing he made sure all his info was always saved on his other one. "And this is what I get for trying to help Dick with his math."
"Aww Timmy, it wasn't all bad! At least I'm not bored anymore." Dick cackled and looked very pleased with himself. Tim rolled his eyes. Figures.
A/N: Kinda annoyed with the ending, but meh. This idea came from me being bored. And thinking of the Batboys. And yeah. So, your thoughts/comments/anything else is always welcomed, so please leave a review on what you thought! (If you see any grammar/spelling mistakes, please tell me, I really don't like improper spelling/grammar) I do have another fic written up about the Batboys at the zoo, and will/may probably post that sometime in the week.
-Wondering Snow