The twelve minute subway ride home from school was Farkle's favorite part of the day. He enjoyed the quiet time to reflect on what he had learned at school and make plans for the rest of the day. Today, though, academics were the last thing on his mind. His mind was wrapped around another puzzle, one whose solution had eluded him for years. The school dance was coming up soon, and he was yet to ask anyone. Lucas was going with Emma, so he had the potential to ask Maya or Riley. The idea of options was thrilling, but he was less excited about the prospect of finally having to make a decision about Riley and Maya.
Farkle had known both girls for almost ten years now. He could still remember how he had felt being the new kid at their school on the first day of first grade. Fresh from an elite private school, he had felt so alone. Riley and Maya had been in his team and had made him feel at home. At recess, they had invited him to join in their zombies versus unicorns game. They had instantly become best friends, and the bond between them had only grown over the years. By fifth grade, he knew that he was a lucky guy to have such special girls for best friends. When all of the other guys began pulling their best stunts to impress the duo, he had been begun wondering how long it would be until he lost one or both forever. The only thing that he could do about it was be to claim one of them for himself. All he had to do was decide which one, but deciding proved way more difficult than he anticipated.
Riley was lighthearted and optimistic reminding Farkle of the unicorns from their childhood game. School was one of her priorities, and her love of learning made him think that perhaps she would become a teacher like her father. As much as she valued academics, people were Riley's highest priority. She felt compassion for those who were suffering and did everything in her power to help. Riley appeared to be naive and in need of protection, but she was actually a strong person who had something to give even in the most difficult situations. Maya too was very strong. Her determination was unmatched despite the many obstacles she had faced in her short life. Meeting her, one would imagine that she was apathetic, but that was just a show that Farkle saw through all too well. The real Maya cared deeply about success and those around her. She was a loyal girl who'd fight to the death for a person or cause that mattered to her. Maya lived in the real world, and she was incredibly perceptive. Her teasing sometimes came off as harsh, but she knew her limits. She knew what was going on with everyone and did her best to give them what they needed.
By the end of fifth grade, Farkle still had not solved the puzzle despite the fact that he had spent countless hours on it. Eventually, he had simply given up. How could he chose between the kindhearted optimist and the loyal realist? Normally, Farkle wasn't one to give up easily, but this was a puzzle that he would rather leave unsolved. On the other side of his choice lay the nebulous world of shattered dreams, hurt feelings, and broken friendships. He had resigned himself to the unsolved puzzle, lavishing affection on both girls in turn. The girls didn't know what to make of his flirting, but he didn't encounter any serious issues until the Buggy awards. When his failure to make a choice had threatened their friendship, he realized that perhaps he had made a mistake. While he was still contemplating how to approach the puzzle, Lucas had stepped in and saved the day by expressing interest in Riley. Farkle had directed his attention to Maya instead, even inviting her to the freshman dance last year. Lucas and Riley's previous summer's breakup, however, meant that the choice stared him in the face again. Now, was the time to finally settle the question that had been in the back of his mind for so long. Was he nervous? No. Farkle has a plan. Farkle puts plan in action. Farkle wins, he thought to himself.
The gentle stop of the subway roused Farkle from his walk down memory lane. The ride was over. He grabbed his backpack and walked quickly across the platform and out into the daylight. If he was honest, he was feeling excited about finally solving the puzzle. Although he had decided that he could live without a solution, he knew he would feel so much better once it was all settled. Unsolved puzzles gave him nightmares, and this one had been no exception. He walked down the quiet sidewalks to his building in silence. A smile stretched across his face; he was almost there. He entered the building and rode the elevator up to the penthouse where he lived.
He normally moved slowly and deliberately. Today, though, his eagerness took on the form of hurry. He ran into his bedroom and shut the door. He smiled. His bedroom was one of his favorite places in the whole world. Its dark, cool ambiance somehow had a calming effect on him. The walls and ceiling were a dark blue that was contrasted with the white trim. They were adorned with murals that reflected a few of his favorite concepts—Einstein's theory of relativity, world conquests, and the night sky. His closet was large with plenty of room for his clothes, science projects, and debate notes. Two tall white bookshelves filled with scientific, mathematical, and technologically based works that had helped him solve many a puzzle stood in one corner.
One of his favorite pieces, however, was a simple drawing that hung in a black frame over his desk. It was Maya's interpretation of the night sky that she had given him during the technology debate in seven grade. The discussions he had had with Maya and the research they had done together had taught him so much. He had been expecting to learn about technology and its impact on society, but instead he had learned something much more personal. As he had sat there in the library window staring at Maya's beautiful drawing, he had realized that there was more to the world than his own experiences and narrow prospective. He had determined right then and there that he would explore more of its possibilities. Since the assignment had peaked his interest in personal relationships, he began wondering about ways he could improve his own. When he had discussed it with his mother, she had ordered him a book about modern personality theories. He had finished it in a week and had been eager to learn more. Since then, he had read everything he could about personality theories, studying Erickson, Adler, McRae, and Jung among others. As much as he loved contemplating the theoretical, his goal in studying personality psychology was practical, so he took as many personality tests as he could and convinced his friends to take his favorite ones.
Now, he was ready to apply what he had learned and use it to decide who to ask to the dance. As a result of his in-depth studies, he had a good picture of Maya and Riley's personalities as well as what would be his best match. During the past week, he had been making a poster with in-depth summaries of the girls' personalities. He pulled the poster out of his closet and unrolled it in the middle of the floor. It was now mostly done. He only had to add the data he had gathered this morning and calculate the percentage of match between their respective personalities and what he had determined would be his best match. He grabbed his notebook from his backpack and quickly got to work. 4 divided by 5 equals .2. .2 times 10 equals 20 percent. 6 divided by 8 equals .75. .75 times 10 equals 75 percent. He finished and wrote the girls' scores on their respective sides of the poster. Maya's score was 5, and Riley's score was also 5.
He stared at the chart dumbfounded. Not only were both scores far from the perfect ten, they were also tied! If he would have given himself a score at that moment, he would have given himself a 0. His plan had failed! He was back at square one with only seventy-five hours remaining until the school dance. He had been depending on this plan to work. What was he going to do? He collapsed onto his perfectly made bed both shocked and frustrated.
Farkle has a plan. Farkle puts plan in action. Farkle wins, he heard himself say aloud. He knew what he needed to do—he always could think better sitting up. He moved to his desk, pushing in the chair and folding his hands on its brown top. His eyes caught the other frame that hung above his desk. It was a picture of himself with his four best friends during their trip to the amusement park last summer. Big smiles lit up all of their faces. He had to laugh. The picture did look rather out of place among all of his big factual murals. As much as he wanted life to be all about facts and reasoning, only in his bedroom did such scientific, logical thinking rule. There were so many other more abstract factors impacting life in the real world. Suddenly, it hit him that that was why his plan had failed. The question of Maya and Riley was not one of facts and reasons but rather one of the heart. He couldn't solve it with deductive reasoning. He had a heart and feelings, and he needed to use them. Failing to do so only lead others to deny their existence.
If he did have a heart and feelings, why did he so consistently seek to squelch them? He could and should have used his feelings to solve the Riley and Maya question long ago. Trying to turn off his feelings had only left him frustrated and disappointed. Instead of a real romantic relationship, he had spent years chasing Maya by default, excusing her lack of interest because he knew he wasn't committed to her. His relationship with Lucas had suffered ever since he had first expressed his inability to chose between the girls. His other relationships had been similarly effected. Why had he done something that was devastating to the thing he valued most in life—loving and being loved? He was shocked by the answer. He was afraid. Deep down, he felt like a big dope that no one would want. If he didn't chose, he didn't have to face the feelings of rejection. But the alternative had been almost as bad. By trading the emotional for the logical, he had ended up frustrated and disappointment with a heart that resembled his room—dark and cool.
If this was all there was to life, he would be bitterly disappointed. He glanced back at the picture. No, there was so much more to the world! There were bright colors and smiles and feelings and hope. He could experience them too; he had in the times that he had chosen to be vulnerable. He simply had to open the doors of his heart and let his feelings in. It was scary to think of letting himself simply feel, of not redefining and excusing. How could he manage? His mind instantly went back to the alternative—the turmoil the past years. There was no way that he could do that again. He would open up even if it took all of his willpower to do so. Perhaps the sun would hurt his eyes, but it was the only way that he could experience the beauty of the world. He would not hold back. Fear would no longer hold him prisoner. He would choose to be brave, to feel, to see all that he could. He stood up. His hands were shaking, but his heart told him he was making the right decision. He could do this, and he would. He walked over to the window and slowly turned the rod of dusty dark blue blinds. The sunlight shone in, and his heart was light. It would take time, but he would feel and he would choose. He was determined. He had finally made his choice.
Author's note: I don't ending up writing for Girl Meets World that often, but you guys have somehow ended up with some of my deepest works. Hope you enjoyed this and that the ending was not too disappointing.