TANJOUBI OMEDETOU, NA-KUN! And surprise, heh. The collab part of this was Gryffyn's idea, just so you know. We both had fun writing it. Tons of fun. XP Enjoy!
"Gingkiegingkiegingkie, guess what?"
Gingka was suddenly flattened to the ground by someone crashing into him from behind. He turned over, and saw that it was an all-too-familiar teenager with braided hair, with another one with red hair and blue and silver streaks running up to join them.
The redhead groaned. "Oh no... What is it now?" he asked hesitantly, unsure whether he should run or stay.
"IT'S NAXOS' BIRTHDAY!" Gryffyn and Galaxy yelled together, nearly blowing out Gingka's eardrums.
Gryffyn straightened her hoodie, adding, "And we need you to distract Naxos while Galaxy and I go and decorate the B-Pit. Come on, Gingka, it'll be fun!"
"... How in the world am I supposed to distract an insane author who will likely try to kill me if I do so?" Gingka asked slowly.
"Use this." Galaxy handed the redhead a pudding bazooka.
Gingka animefell. "If I use this he'll kill me!"
"Would you rather use a switchblade?" Gryffyn asked pointedly. When Gingka didn't say anything, she nodded. "Didn't think so. Now come on, pleeeeeeeease?" Gryffyn deployed her puppy eyes.
Gingka groaned. "I can't do it WITHOUT the threat of him killing me...?"
"Well, you could... But that's not as much fun!" Galaxy exclaimed.
"What she said," Gryffyn agreed. "Now can you please go distract him? We're wasting precious time, man!"
At Gingka's hesitant look, she added, "And you know very well that we won't stop bothering you until you agree to help."
"Fiiine." Gingka whined before setting off in search of Naxos.
"Thanks!" Gryffyn called to him. She turned to Galaxy. "Y'know, that took less time than I thought."
Galaxy giggled and nodded. "Which is good for us, because I have some pranking to do after the party."
Gryffyn smiled devilishly. "I'll bring the popcorn. Anyhoo, now that we got Gingka to help us, to the party store!"
Meanwhile...
Gingka was walking down the street, wondering how in the world he was going to find Naxos. After all, the dude could be anywhere!
Suddenly, he heard an explosion from down the street. Wondering if it was Naxos (the guy did like exploding things), he decided to investigate. Gingka peered around the corner carefully, half-hoping that it wasn't Naxos.
"Hey, Gingka, what's up?"
Gingka yelped, then whirled around and shot pudding out of the bazooka at whoever it was. The person it was froze in surprise, then reached up, and wiped the pudding off his face to reveal (wouldn't you know it?) Naxos himself.
Gingka's eyes constricted in fright as he hid the bazooka behind his back, sincerely wishing that it had never been in his hands to begin with.
"What, may I ask," Naxos said threateningly, "was that for?"
"Uhh... Happy New Year's?" Gingka said the first thing that came to mind.
Naxos' eyes narrowed, since they both knew that it wasn't even December. "I'd start running if I were you."
Gingka gulped, dropped the bazooka, and took off.
"Oh no, you are not getting out of my sights," Naxos said to himself, and took off after him.
"Hey, can we not go with killing me over this?!" Gingka asked.
Naxos stopped. He was actually a little curious about what Gingka had to say. "What makes you say that?" he asked. Then he added innocently, "And why would you ever think I would kill you?"
"Uhh... Because I accidentally shot you with a pudding bazooka that I somehow managed to be holding...?" Gingka said, barely poking his head around the wall he was hiding behind.
"Oh yeah, that. YOU'RE DEAD, HAGANE!" Naxos shouted. Gingka made an "eep!" sound and took off again.
Meanwhile, at the party store, Gryffyn and Galaxy were fighting over whether or not they should invite Captain Jack Sparrow to the party.
"I don't know..." Galaxy frowned. "I mean, he's cool and all, but sorta unpredictable, isn't he?"
"That's only when he drinks rum," Gryffyn reminded her. Then she frowned too. "Actually, he's unpredictable even when he's not drinking rum. But I still say we should invite him. It's not like we're inviting the Hulk or anything."
Galaxy snorted. "Perhaps we should invite the Hulk. I bet Na-kun would try to wrestle him."
Gryffyn smiled. "That'd be funny. Hey! How about we invite both of them? Tell me that wouldn't be awesome!"
A mischievous gleam appeared in Galaxy's eyes. "Let's do it!"
The girls high-fived.
Galaxy grinned. "I'll go drop by the Marvel universe and find Hulk!"
"I'll go get Sparrow then," Gryffyn also grinned. The two girls snapped their fingers, and disappeared out of the party store in puffs of smoke.
Gingka, meanwhile, was trying to evade Naxos. Naxos suddenly crashed into Hikaru.
"Whoa! Naxos, what are you doing?" Hikaru asked.
"Oh, y'know, trying to kill Hagane, out for his blood, the usual stuff." Then he took off again.
"Little help?!" Gingka could be heard yelling.
Hikaru shrugged, and ran after them. When she caught up to Naxos, she tackled him and they fell sprawling on the sidewalk. Hikaru immediately jumped up, having forgotten how hot the sidewalk could get in the summer. She saw Naxos glaring murderously at her, and laughed sheepishly.
"Heh heh. I'm in trouble, aren't I?"
Gryffyn, meanwhile, appeared on the Black Pearl in a cloud of smoke. The crewmen jumped in fright, then relaxed.
"How come ye be wearin' such... clothes?" Mr. Gibbs asked, after deciding on what to call what she was wearing.
Gryffyn raised an eyebrow. "Can I see your captain, please?" she smiled and gave him low-powered puppy eyes.
Almost before she had even finished speaking, Captain Jack Sparrow stepped out onto the deck with his typical swaggering gait. He looked at her in surprise, half-pointing one finger at her. "How did ye get onto my ship?" He asked after several moments.
"Would you believe me if I said I got on here using my fanfiction powers?" Gryffyn asked.
Captain Jack paused for a second, then smiled. "Yes... No." He said as the smile dropped from his face.
Gryffyn frowned. "Oh. Well, anyway, I came to ask you a question. My friend and I are hosting a birthday party for another friend, who we consider our..." Gryffyn stopped, because she didn't think that the pirates would know the meaning of the word 'bromigo'. "... friend. And we wanted to invite you. So... will you come?"
Captain Jack looked slightly confused at this. "Well, I'm always up for a party." He said after a while.
Gryffyn blinked. "Wow. That was fast. But yay! Great! With my powers we should get back in... oh, a half-second."
Captain Jack smiled, then frowned confusedly.
Gryffyn sighed, then explained. "It's what I used to get here."
"Best be careful around witchcraft, cap'n," Mr. Gibbs interjected, providing one of his oh-so-helpful superstitions.
Captain Jack raised one finger and opened his mouth, then closed it and cocked his head to the side.
Gryffyn clapped a hand over her face, then dragged it downwards in exasperation. "This guy's hopeless," she muttered. "Is something wrong?"
"No, not at all." Captain Jack smiled awkwardly.
"Good. Then let's get a move on before Galaxy sends Nerf-dart-firing Daleks at me for getting back late."
Then she grabbed his wrist, snapped her fingers, and they both disappeared in a puff of smoke. Mr. Gibbs and the crew just stood there and blinked, not sure of what just happened.
"I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN SMASH GIANT BOULDERS AND I NEED HIM NOW!" Galaxy shrieked, standing atop a giant boulder in the middle of a busy intersection.
People driving in the intersection stopped, looked at her for a second, then started driving again. Then a car suddenly pulled up, and Bruce Banner himself stepped out.
"I'm sorry, but who are you?" he asked.
Galaxy sat down atop the boulder, looking sheepish. "Noooobodyyyyy." she said slowly.
Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I find that hard it believe."
Galaxy giggled maniacally. "Okay, okay, you got me. I'm everyone's worst nightmare."
Bruce blinked in confusion, but decided to speak before it got awkward. "Can I... help you?" All the while he was praying, "Please don't ask if I'm the Hulk, please don't ask if I'm the Hulk, please don't ask if I'm–"
"Welp, I was actually looking for you." Galaxy giggled.
Bruce blinked again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Oh." Well, at least she wasn't asking if he was the Hulk.
"I need your help with a party me and a friend are throwing for this other friend, but our other friend doesn't know that me and my friend are throwing him a party and we need your help. Man, that was redundantly repetitive."
"So... a surprise party? Oh, so your friend is distracting him? And why do you need my help?" Bruce asked, asking three questions all at once.
"Well, we have this other friend that's distracting him while the first friend I mentioned grabs Captain Jack Sparrow, but he's from another virtual world, and I came to get you because you're the Hulk and it'd be cool to have you there...?" Galaxy pressed her pointer fingers together.
Darn it. She already knew that he was the Hulk.
"Trust me, kid, you wouldn't want the Other Guy at a birthday party," Bruce said to Galaxy. "I'm not exactly the type of person you would hire for a party like that."
"But... But..." Galaxy pouted, rather childishly and adorably for her age, but hey, it usually worked on Naxos, so why not try it on Bruce?
"You're not a child, kid, from what I can tell you're at least eighteen years old!" Bruce was starting to get a little mad now. "Stop pouting and find someone else to help!"
"But... You're the only true Hulk." Galaxy merely pouted harder.
Bruce was getting pretty mad now, for no apparent reason at all. How was that even possible? By his calculations, if this girl said anything else, he could snap and turn into the Hulk!
"Pleeeeeeeeaassseeeee?!" Galaxy whined.
"GrrrrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Bruce's skin turned green as he grew larger and larger, and his voice got deeper. Muscles that were insanely huge rippled as his clothes got too small and tore off him. All too soon, the Hulk, in all its glory, stood towering over the red-headed authoress. Galaxy eeped in a high-pitched tone and snapped her fingers. The next instant, she and the Hulk disappeared.
Hikaru and Gingka, meanwhile, were still running from Naxos.
"How is it..." Hikaru panted as they ran. "That this guy... can run so fast?"
"I... Don't... Know... But he does... Have superpowers..." Gingka panted.
"Oh... Wait, by that... do you mean... fanfiction superpowers..." Hikaru asked through her panting. "Or... superhero-type... superpowers?"
"Both!" Gingka yelped.
"Oh yeah... Wait, what?!" Hikaru skidded to a stop. "You never told me he had superhero-type powers! How is it that you always know this stuff but everyone else is always left in the dark?"
"He can give himself superhero-type powers by using his FFA ones!" Gingka exclaimed, continuing to run.
Hikaru turned and saw that Naxos had almost caught up to her. "Curse the powers of fanfiction," she muttered, before taking off again.
"Just keep running!" Gingka called over his shoulder before, unfortunately, running into a metal pole that he had not seen and falling flat on his back.
Hikaru was busy looking over her shoulder to see how far away Naxos was, so she didn't see Gingka crash into the pole. As soon as she turned around, she crashed into the pole herself and landed on top of Gingka. A shadow came over them, and she looked up to see Naxos standing above them, with a raised eyebrow.
"It's not what it looks like," Hikaru said automatically. "Gingka and Madoka are already dating."
Gingka blushed furiously. "HIKARU!"
"What?" Hikaru asked. "The situation we're in is ambiguous!"
Then she pointed behind Naxos, shouting, "Look! There's Galaxy!"
When Naxos turned around, she immediately sprang up off the sidewalk and took off. Gingka also got up and was taking off again just as Naxos turned around.
"I don't see any– DARN IT!"
"Nice save." Gingka panted.
"Don't mention it," Hikaru muttered.
Gingka sighed.
"So you're sure you gave Madoka a two weeks notice we would be here?" Gryffyn asked Galaxy as they walked into the B-Pit, followed by Jack while the Hulk waited outside. Both girls were carrying shopping bags.
Captain Jack was looking around, extremely confused.
"Of course!" Galaxy said.
"Good. I just didn't want her to, y'know, flip out and start screaming at us. I mean, the Hulk is right outside." Gryffyn gestured to the Hulk, who was watching through the window. "But that's just me, so I guess I'll shut up. Jack! Be a dear and help put up streamers." She chucked a roll of streamers at Jack, that smacked him right in the face.
Jack took a step back in surprise, then picked up the streamers and examined them confusedly.
"You hang them up all around the room, like this." To demonstrate, Gryffyn took the roll from Jack and put the end of it up in a corner, and taped it. Then she repeated the process, with Jack watching, until she got to the other side of the wall. She handed the streamers and the tape back to Jack. "Like that. Can you try to do it without getting yourself tangled up in them?"
Jack blinked repeatedly and nodded slowly. He took the end of the streamer and tried to stick it to the wall, then watched as it fell to the floor. Next, he tried the tape, only for it to stick to his fingers. His eyes widened and he ran around the room trying to get it off.
Gryffyn and Galaxy looked up from pulling packages of balloons out of another bag. When they saw what Jack was doing, they burst into laughter. Gryffyn pulled out her phone and took a short video of the scene, so she could watch it later. She put her phone away and asked Galaxy, who was rolling around on the floor and laughing, "Should we help him, or something?"
"Nah. Let him keep himself occupied with the tape." Galaxy laughed.
Gryffyn nodded. "Okay."
She picked up a pink balloon and blew it up. Then she grinned, put the balloon near Galaxy's ear, and popped it.
Galaxy shrieked and coated Gryffyn in pudding. "We're supposed to be decorating, not insanity warring!"
Gryffyn wiped pudding off her face and pouted. "Aw, but insanity wars are fun!" She licked one of her pudding-covered fingers. "Hm. Chocolate."
"Now's not the time. We'll have one with the Hulk later."
"Okay."
Galaxy dodged the still-panicking Captain Jack and continued hanging up streamers.
Gryffyn continued to blow up balloons and tie them. Suddenly, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fell to the ground. The balloon she was holding shot out of her hand and flew through the air.
Galaxy yelped. "Gryffyn-chan!" She dropped the balloon she was holding and darted over to the other authoress.
"I'M ALIVE!" Gryffyn shrieked, suddenly springing up and flying around the room, crowing like Peter Pan. Then she laughed. "Sorry I freaked you out, Galaxy, but I just wanted to see what you would do. You should've seen your face!"
Galaxy crossed her arms, glaring.
Gryffyn laughed, though this time it was sheepishly. "Heh heh. Sorry. Can you forgive me?"
"Fiiiiine." Galaxy poked her in the forehead.
"Hey!" Gryffyn pulled a squirt gun out of her hoodie and squirted flavored water at Galaxy's own forehead.
Galaxy shrieked and soon, Gryffyn was tied up in licorice.
Gryffyn struggled for a second, then shouted at Galaxy, "Not cool!" Then she bit through a section of the licorice, then broke free. She sprayed lime Jello out of her hands at Galaxy, then dumped a bucket of it on her head.
"Are we going to get back to decorating now or do I need to unleash my full insanity power here?" Galaxy asked.
Gryffyn pouted. "Fine... we can finish decorating."
"Good girl." Galaxy giggled, patting Gryffyn on the head before going to hang more streamers.
Gryffyn pouted for another second, before returning to blowing up balloons and tying them. Jack ran past her, still attempting to get the tape off of him. He was now quite tangled up in it. Neither of the authoresses, however, noticed.
"Think that looks good?" Galaxy asked, holding a streamer in place.
"Looks fine. By the way, how do we plan to get the Hulk inside?" Gryffyn asked. "I mean, he's obviously not going to fit behind the counter."
"Teleportation." Galaxy said.
"Hey, nothing gets teleported in here without my permission." Madoka said, entering the room.
Gryffyn looked up from tying a purple balloon. "Oh hey, Madoka. Could you help out a bit and assist Jack over there?" She pointed to where Jack was. The pirate was still trying to get the tape off of his fingers and himself.
"Uhh... Sure?" Madoka said hesitantly.
"Great! But you may want to be careful. I... sorta forgot to confiscate his sword." Gryffyn smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
"Sword...?" Madoka blinked nervously.
"Yes, sword. Sorry again." A balloon suddenly popped in front of Gryffyn's nose, making her yelp and cover it. "Just help, please?"
Madoka sighed and walked awkwardly over to Jack, trying to figure out how to calm the pirate down.
"So, how much longer do we have to keep this up?" Hikaru asked Gingka as they continued to run from a murderous Naxos. Hey, at least they were keeping him distracted.
"Until we get a phone call I think?"
"It'd better be soon, that's all I'm saying."
Meanwhile, back at the B-Pit, the whole shop had been completely decorated, and the two authoresses were laughing themselves silly over Madoka trying to help Jack get the tape off of him.
"Don't try anything, Jack," Gryffyn called. "Gingka and Madoka are dating."
"What are you talking about?!" Madoka eeped, looking more nervously at the pirate, who was already trying to slice the tape with his sword.
"Wait, didn't she just hear what I just said?" Gryffyn asked Galaxy in confusion.
"She probably did." Galaxy chuckled.
A second later, Gingka and Hikaru burst through the door, completely out of breath. Hikaru leaned against the wall, leaning over to catch her breath, while Gingka stumbled on wobbly legs from all the running and crashed into Madoka, causing them both to sprawl on the ground. Their faces got pretty close to one another in the process.
"Oooh, lovebirds!" the two authoresses chorused.
"S-shut up! Naxos is right behind us!" GIngka yelped.
"Hulk, smash Naxos!" Galaxy called, pointing to the approaching author.
Hulk roared, then slammed his fists against the ground. Naxos skidded to a stop, looking up at the huge creature.
"Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, tough guy?" he asked. He cracked his knuckles. "Bring it."
"Ooh, this should get interesting," Gryffyn said to Galaxy, smiling.
Galaxy giggled. "And it keeps Naxos out of here for the time being."
The Hulk roared again and charged at the author. Naxos grabbed a bazooka and fired it at the Hulk. The Hulk raised one of his muscular green arms, but was still thrown back by the missile that was shot out of them bazooka. He swatted Naxos, sending him into the wall of a building, right next to a window that everyone thought he was going to crash through.
Naxos grunted as he landed on the ground. "Okay. Let's try this again, big guy." He said, leaping at the Hulk.
The monstrous being and the creature with the anger management issues caused some major destruction as they wrestled. Buildings were crushed, cars were flattened, you get the picture.
Naxos groaned as he climbed out of a smashed car. "Alright, that's it!" He said, falcon punching the Hulk several miles away.
The Hulk let out an incredibly loud roar that shattered the eardrums of people that were at least a hundred miles away. Within seconds, he had returned in huge, leaping strides and tackled Naxos to the ground. The impact resulted in a huge crater forming in the middle of the road.
"So should we like, stop them, or something?" Gryffyn asked Galaxy.
"Since we're done decorating we may as well."
"HEY, HULKY!" Gryffyn stuck her head out the door and waved. The Hulk stopped short in his attempt to clobber Naxos and looked over. Both authoresses snapped their fingers and the Hulk was suddenly gone.
Naxos blinked. "What just..."
"We saved you, Na-kun!" Galaxy waved. "Come inside before he figures out how to get back!"
Naxos sighed, and decided to walk in. Besides, he was getting some dirty looks from civilians for trashing up the street. While he was walking towards the B-Pit, Galaxy turned out the lights and everyone hid. Gryffyn herself perched above the door with a bucket of lime Jello. Galaxy hid behind the food table with a hose and waited for Naxos to come in. Naxos walked through the door. "Hey, why're the lights all off?" He reached for the light switch and flipped the lights on.
"SURPRISE!"
In the next instant, Naxos had been covered in lime jello, which was rinsed off of him within a minute by Galaxy, who turned her hose on full blast. Hikaru and Gingka bombed Naxos with water balloons, but for some strange reason they exploded to reveal pink hair dye.
"I thought you said you filled these up with water!" Hikaru said to Galaxy.
Galaxy giggled. "I did. I put something on them to change them to hair dye the instant they burst!"
Naxos wiped hair dye off his face and glared at Gingka and Hikaru. Hikaru quickly pointed to Gingka, said, "Gingka did it!" and bolted out of the store.
Naxos raised an eyebrow. "I won't even ask. So, what is all off this?"
"You've finally caught up to me!" Galaxy giggled. "Now I won't have to be the only adult around here!"
"... Me, Madoka, and Hikaru are all adults..." Gingka said.
"Hush, you don't count." Galaxy said.
"What Galaxy means," Gryffyn intervened, "is that it's your birthday! You didn't seriously think we'd forget our bromigo's birthday, did you?" To prove her point, she blew a party blower in his face and threw confetti.
Naxos blinked. "Wow... you guys did all this?"
"Don't forget about Jack over there!" Gryffyn added. Naxos furrowed his brow. "Jack?"
"Captain." Jack and Galaxy corrected simultaneously. Captain Jack smiled confusedly and waved slightly.
"Wait, Captain Jack?" Naxos repeated. Gryffyn nodded. "Dude, he's annoying!"
"Oooh!" Gryffyn said loudly.
Galaxy giggled. "He's hilarious though!" She grabbed a water bottle and pranced sideways behind the table. "I've got a jar of diirt, i've got a jar of diiirt!" She quoted. Jack looked stunned.
Gryffyn giggled. "Yeah, he is pretty funny. So, Naxos," she turned to said author. "It's your birthday. What do you want to do? Paintball fight?"
"Don't we have cake to eat?" Galaxy asked.
"Oh yeah."
And grinning insanely, Gryffyn smashed a piece of cake into Naxos's face. Hardly any of it actually got into his mouth.
"That's it! Get over here you little weasel!" Naxos began chasing Gryffyn around the store, not even bothering to wipe the cake off his face.
Galaxy pulled a rope tight under his feet, tripping him and causing him to faceplant into a cherry pie.
"You two are the insanest girls I've ever met!" Naxos yelled. His voice was muffled because his face was still in the cherry pie.
"Gee, thanks!" the two girls mentioned chorused.
Galaxy giggled hysterically and patted Naxos on the head, much to his annoyance.
Naxos moved out of the way of Galaxy's hand so she couldn't pat him anymore. "So... what else have you got planned?"
Gryffyn grinned at Galaxy. "Well, now that you mention it..."
Then they shouted in unison, "PAINT WAR!" and tackled Naxos into a gigantic pool of paint that somehow appeared on the B-Pit floor.
Madoka groaned and facepalmed as she noticed this. Gingka darted off to who-knows-where to avoid being painted himself. Galaxy giggled insanely as she watched Naxos getting up.
Naxos was covered head to toe in paint. Galaxy and Gryffyn were too. Gryffyn pulled from within her hoodie two paintball guns, and proceeded to splatter everyone within range with paint with an insane smile on her face. Jack pulled out his sword to protect himself, but his sword only got splattered.
"Oy!" he shouted. "This was custom made! You're gonna have to pay for that, mate!"
"You're finished!" Galaxy cracked her knuckles and fired Gryffyn into the sun.
Gryffyn came plummeting back down to Earth, firing shot after shot at Galaxy. "Think again, girlfriend!" she yelled.
"Okay, time to wrap this up!" Naxos yelled. He snapped his fingers, and sent a tsunami of paint crashing onto the city, the B-Pit, and the author and authoresses. Naxos, however, was unharmed.
After about a minute, Gryffyn sprang up and tackled Naxos to the ground. "You're goin down, bromigo!" she yelled.
And so, yet another insanity battle began in the endless war between authors, a war without casualties, well, unless you counted the death of the characters' sanity as a casualty.
So, there it is! Happy birthday, Na-kun, from, well, basically everyone, I suppose, but me and Gryffyn specifically on this one. XP