Hollow
Chapter 1- Fix You
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
***
And I will try to fix you - Fix You, Coldplay
***
The war changed me. I lost so many people. We lost so many people. When I say we, I mean me and Harry.
I used to be full of life. I was loud and sarcastic. I shouted random words during dinner. My life had colour; it had meaning. But now I'm hollow, an empty shell.
When Dad died, I was fifteen, nearly sixteen. I met him when I was thirteen; everyone thought he was a murderer. He never died a free man. I knew he regretted not being able to see me grow up. He never thought about what would happen to me when he got sent to Azkaban. I never got a chance to tell him that I forgave him. I decided that when I met him. I never thought my father was capable of murder. Remus had always said that he wasn't sure.
Remus, luckily, is still alive. I don't know what I would have done if he died. He is the only family I have left; the only person connected to my father. He raised me and looked after me when my father was in hiding. Just last year he married Nymphadora and had a beautiful baby boy called Teddy. They named Harry and me the godparents. But I was still hollow.
I wanted to change. I didn't want to be like this. Every time I looked at Harry I saw pain in his eyes. He blamed himself. He thought it was his fault that my father died. It wasn't. He was trying to save him. It was Kreacher's fault.
I've decided to try and be happy. I miss how I was. I haven't laughed in over a year. I've hardly spoken. But that's changing now. The pain will still be there, but I'm not going to let it take over my life. I need to be happy, for Harry, for Remus and for my friends.
Speaking of friends, I have quite a few now. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were my best friends. They were all I needed, but now I realise lots of friends are better. We all hang about in a big group, or we break off into separate groups. There's me, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Luna and Hannah. Yes, Draco Malfoy. He's one of my best friends now. In the final battle, he killed his father, Lucius Malfoy and he helped us win. Now we are all friends. It's quite strange, but amazing at the same time.
* Harry's POV
I can't look at Alexis; it hurts too much. She used to be so happy and bright. She was loud and sarcastic. She was… colourful. When I see her now, she looks so lifeless. Her eyes are filled with pain. She's hollow. It's like she can't feel anything. She doesn't speak unless someone has asked her a direct question. I haven't heard her laugh since Sirius died. She used to laugh all the time.
Sometimes she comes to me, in the middle of the night. She has nightmares. I let her crawl into my bed and she lays her head on my chest. I think she just needs to feel safe. I thought she would be better after the war. But she hasn't changed. Maybe she will be happy at Hogwarts.
I need to help her. I feel as if it's my fault. I should have known Voldemort was just playing games, but I always have to be the hero.
I'm going to fix Alexis. I'm going to make her happy again. I have to.